BEFORE:

"It's been a while," says Jewel with a shake of the head. "I really expected to get some work off beating Neve, but, she caught me with a lucky punch in the rematch and the offers dried up. Well. Here I am again. And, nobody's getting lucky tonight."

"Jewel's right about one thing," says Kat without a hint of a smile. "Nobody's getting lucky tonight. But, SOMEBODY'S getting STARCHED."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'The Ballad of Serenity' by Sonny Rhodes you're hearing behind us, and here comes Canadian beauty Jewel Staite..."

McCarthy: "I STILL love this girl for beating Campbell..."

Tess: "Do you, perhaps, remember what happened the second time around?"

McCarthy: "Like Jewel said, Campbell got LUCKY..."

Tess: "Shovel hook. In the first round."

McCarthy: "Like I said, LUCKY!"

O'Dell: "Staite into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a violet number and a body that's been training hard for this one. And, that's 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' by Scissor Sisters you hear behind us, and here comes Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"

McCarthy: "An overrated Campbell Clone if ever there WAS one..."

Cassie: "Speaking of shovel hooks, truck, cue up the video of round six of the Dennings/McCarthy body paint bout..."

McCarthy: "DON'T YOU DARE! I WAS ROBBED! I'LL SUE! I'LL SUE!"

O'Dell (sighing): "Kat into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve and she's looking plenty good in that curve-hugging black number..."

McCarthy: "OVERRATED! JUST LIKE CAMPBELL!"

Cassie: "Truck, cue up video of just about ANY Campbell/McCarthy fight..."

McCarthy: "YOU LITTLE..."

O'Dell: "Calm DOWN, Mac! The ladies are about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Kat. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Talentless Dancing Hooker! Staite!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "First split panel of the night. And, the ladies getting right to it, stepping together into the phone booth and going to work. No surprise. Staite very physical, likes to work inside. And, of course, that's the game Kat likes to play, too, so I suspect we're going to see a lot of banging..."

McCarthy: "That's because all Campbell can teach people is how to SLOP inside. She never could BOX..."

Cassie: "But, I seem to recall her BABIFYING you again and again...and, of course, KAT did the SAME THING..."

McCarthy: "I. WAS. ROBBED. AND, SHUT UP, SCABBO!"

O'Dell: "Ladies working inside, lots of investment in the body, as you'd expect, but, plenty of upstairs stuff, too. Lots of hard shot being exchanged. Nobody hurt, but everybody getting some licks in. Ten seconds to go in a very active opening stanza. SHARP exchange there, with sweat flying and nobody backing up a step. Ladies right back to the body. Five seconds to go. Leather thumps into flesh right to the bell. And, there's not a lot in it, frankly. Very, very close, but the opening points are going to Jewel."

Tess: "And, that means Staite grabs the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Into the second and back to close quarters as both fighters dig in in more ways than one. Staite a short right hook that backs up Kat, but Dennings steps right back to, goes body again. Lots and lots of meat being tenderized right now, and nobody gaining a real edge..."

McCarthy: "Unskilled brawling. Someone will land a lucky punch and that's how it will end. Neither of these girls could go five with ME."

Cassie: "Truck..."

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, SCABBO!"

O'Dell: "Staite digging into Dennings ribs and KAT LANDS A HARD RIGHT HOOK! Jewel stumbles backward and covers up and all of a sudden Dennings is ALL IN! Kat winging away with both hands, looking to finish this thing. Staite backed to the cables, keeping the guard high..."

Tess: "Kat back to the body now..."

O'Dell: "Looking to bring that guard down. Staite tying up. Kat punching free. Jewel tying up again. Veteran playing this very, very smart right now. She's running clock, slowing down Dennings offense. Five seconds to go. Good right hook from Kat and there's the bell. Dennings. Wide."

Cassie: "And, we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Back inside to start the third. Kat pressing, but Jewel's shaken off the damage and is holding canvas. In fact, the older woman's now backing up the younger, landing some good shot to the head. Kat forced onto the defensive, and the Canadian working to keep her there..."

McCarthy: "THIS is what I'm talking about. TAKE it to the Campbell Clone!"

O'Dell: "Jewel sitting down on punches, keeping Kat on the back foot. Dennings getting some of what her mentor got the first time she fought Jewel. Staite to the body now and it's Kat tying up to slow this down. Canadian shoves off, lands a SOLID right hand that sends sweat flying..."

Tess: "You have to wonder what happens to Jewel's career if Neve DOESN'T stop her in one in the second fight..."

O'Dell: "You absolutely do. We're down to fifteen seconds in the third. Staite's been in control of it almost the entire way. ANOTHER good combination from the Canadian forces Kat to cover up. Jewel works the ribs and there's the bell. Not close in the third. Staite."

Cassie: "And, Jewel back into the lead 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Staite trying to press forward as we start the fourth, but Dennings right there to meet her with some hard shot and we're right back to banging away in the phone booth. Kat working some serious body now, backing Jewel up with a hard right hook to the head..."

Cassie: "Because, she does NOT want to go back to Neve in the corner after being backed up two rounds in a row..."

O'Dell: "I would imagine she does not. Dennings upping the aggression quite a bit in this stanza, and it's playing at the moment. She's now got Jewel where Staite had Kat in the last round, on the back foot, and the younger brunette is keeping her there with a bunch of hard leather."

McCarthy: "Ref needs to be watching for low blows in there..."

Cassie: "HERE we go..."

McCarthy: "Shut it, Scabbo!"

O'Dell: "Final fifteen seconds of the fourth. Dennings grabbed control of this thing early, and she's kept hold despite the best efforts of the older brunette. Jewel firing back here and there, but, she's mostly on the defensive, giving ground in front of Kat's onslaught. There's the bell. No doubt. Dennings. Wide."

Tess: "And, we're even again at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Back to close quarters as we start the fifth, and the ladies going to work on the body in a BIG way right now, thumping away with both hands downstairs before moving back up with hard shot. Nobody backing up this round, as both are determined to hold their canvas..."

Tess: "A LOT of heavy leather landing to the ribs and midsection..."

O'Dell: "No doubt about it. Both fighters doing some serious investing there. GOOD right from Jewel that backed Kat up a step, but Dennings right back into her grill to work some more tummy. It's head on shoulder stuff right now, as both brunettes work to break down the other."

McCarthy: "Staite just has to keep going. Dennings can't last under this kind of assault..."

O'Dell: "We're coming down the stretch in the fifth, and there's not much in it. Ladies working body, working body, working body. GOOD right from Kat and Jewel responds with one of her own and there's the bell. This one is very, very close, but Staite's going to get the points."

Cassie: "And go back into the lead 48-47."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Into the second half and nothing's changed. Ladies are at close quarters banging away to body, going upstairs, only to go right back down. A TON of investment happening right now, and you've got to believe that's going to pay off at some point, ladies..."

Cassie: "Sooner or later. No doubt about it."

O'Dell: "Good right from Kat backs Jewel up a step, but Staite right back at Dennings, digging into the ribs, then landing a solid right hand to the head and GETTING GUTTED BY THE SHOVEL HOOK! Kat lands it clean to the liver and DOWN GOES STAITE..."

Tess: "Jewel has to be having flashbacks right now..."

O'Dell: "Dennings landed that absolutely perfectly and Jewel is curled up on her left side as Kat goes to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. But the ref can count to a hundred and it might not matter. Six. Seven. Eight. All academic. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO6 is sudden fashion is Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"

McCarthy: "LUCKY!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore."

Tess: "I have our winner, Kat Dennings, and, Kat, that was a war in there..."

Kat (nodding): "Yeah. You know what you're getting into with her. She comes after you and she can hit. But. I can hit HARDER."

Tess: "What's next for you?"

Kat (smiling): "I'm going to get right back to work in the gym and look forward to my next opportunity, whatever that is."