Robyn Lawley v Kate Upton
Results by Lookout, words by Sceej
Press wondering why the “Queen” called out second tier (to be generous) welter in Lawley. “It’s partly the hype … partly curiosity … the whole ‘Godzilla’ thing. I figure better to tame the beast early … let her learn to bow to the ‘Queen’ … before she starts to believe in herself too much and becomes unmanageable. .”
Scrubby McGee, venerable Sceej trainer, on why they took the fight “We almost toined it down, I can tell ye. We jess came off a helluva win but we ain;t kiddin’ ourselves dat we’re top ten … not yet. T’ing is … outsidda Righetti … dere’s none better dan Upton! And we bring sumthin ts dis fight date Upton’s never seen before (clearly referencing Lawley’s size). We’ll see how she likes it,eh?”
Fight Night: Lawley to ring first out of deference to Upton pedigree - royal blue sports bra and shorts, black gloves and boots, hair in pony tail, seconded by Scrubby McGee and Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy. Seconds after the big girl steps into the ring, sound system erupts with “Five Seconds of Summer” singing about “... Killer Queen” and here comes Upton … resplendent in white sports bra, boy shorts, boots and gloves, seconded by Cat Bell and Nicole Kidman.
Round 1: Big girls out of corners, dukes high, probing with jabs. Exchange of right hands but big clubbing shot by lawley the heavier punch. Upton clinches and get her first real taste of Godzilla physical strength as she is ragdolled into corner. Upton into guard immediately as the big girl hammers lefts and rights. A little clumsy … imprecise … many hitting forearms and shoulders but there is the sheer impact to deal with! Big first round for Robyn.
Round 2: The Queen has seen enough! Out of corner sharp and precise - spanking the big girl to face and tits with slick jab, then heel turns away so Lawley whiffs on the counters. Late in the round, Upton scoring with right hand leads … knocking head back and punishing tits … Lawley may have more pure impact but Upton the sharper crisper puncher by far, tarting the big girl up!
Round 3: See-saw battle as Lawley roaring back to take the third round using reach and strength to push Upton around the ring - more wrestling than boxing … and when she reaches ropes, Lawley laying it on with thumping body shots and cuffing shots to temple that leave Kate pale at the bell.
Round 4: Back and forth nature of fight continues! The Queen gets a tongue lashing in corner from Cat Bell - “You’re sleep walking and that big b*tch is dangerous Wake the hell up and put some fear in her!” Lawley looking to maul and Kate stops her dead in tracks with a snapping left right combination … forehead and temple. Kate doubles left hook to body, takes a thumping right to temple, but twists into an uppercut that grazes Robyn chin and the Aussie stumbles back awkwardly. Kate on her and pounds left right left to body to bring guard down, then cracks the big girl a left hook to the temple that buckles knees. Fight is even through four but big girls shipping a lot of punishment - not likely to go to a decision.
Round 5: Kate the Great looking to close the show. Had Big Robyn ready to go late in the fourth but ran out of time. Upton pressing pace, not letting plodding big girl set, going with quantity as she lands flurries of punches … not great power but cumulatively wearing the monster down! Lawley firing back and missing … frustrated and growing arm weary from misses on big punches Upton doubles left hook to the chin …. goes back for a third .. and long looping amateurish right crashes into her temple and KATE UPTON IS DOWN! Bludgeoning right hand sweeps the Queen onto her back. She sits up … stunned and blinking … and is on her feet at five. Flash knockdown? Perhaps but crowd going wild and smelling upset in the air.
Round 6: Upton fighting with caution now, new found respect for this clumsy giant’s hitting power. She roams the perimeter, leaving the center of the ring to Robyn Lawley. Kate using legs … using hand speed … pecking … goading Aussie into ill planned attacks and landing hard counter punching. Occasionally, Lawley will feint and land power shots but Upton backs off quickly. She could trade … could likely win a trade of shots … but there is simply no reason too. Upton’s speed and class takes the 6th round for her.
Round 7: Lawley gets lectured in the corner - don’t be cute with her, don’t “box” her - BEAT HER! Big Robyn walking through jab, taking some punishment but closing ground and dominating. Backing Upton up and now finally cutting off the ring so she does not just slip away. Keeping arms moving … putting hands on the the smaller woman … even the shots that don't land clean … shoulders, forearms, elbows … still doing damage. By end of round, the Queen is looking more than a little shopworn - big comeback round for Godzilla!
Round 8: Few close rounds in this back and forth battle of the big girls but it is very close on the cards! Godzilla and the Queen straight at each other - bringing it! Lawley hammering right hand to temple … Upton counters with left hook to midriff and then brings it upstairs to clang chin. Lawley counters with own left hook … Upton slips the shot and lands straight right hand that has Lawley on unsteady legs … blinking rapidly. Upton sense this is the time … digs hook to liver … doubles it … the giant sags right and Upton blasts her to her back with straight right hand. Lawley moaning … struggling to rise … McCarthy in corner “Get up, you big dummy!!!” … but she cannot beat the count.
Winner by knockout in round 8 - the Queen … Kate Upton!
After: Kate beaming on the beach, going to mount the turnbuckle to thump her chest triumphantly and bellowing into the crowd as she wins a big match here tonight. Licking her lips as she addresses the crowd, "Tonight, it was Godzilla versus Kong and Godzilla got freaking tamed. On the beach, if you're going to come at me, you better not miss because I'm going to make you pay. I'm Queen of the Beach as far as I'm concerned and I'm glad that Robin realizes that now. This is MY time and it's time to make sure everybody in the FCBA realizes that . If they don't already, they will soon enough because the Queen is back!!"
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