Joanna Krupa vs Charlize Theron

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TALE OF THE TAPE

Joanna Krupa
Age 42
Height 5’7”
13-14-0

Charlize Theron
Age 46
Height 5’9 1/2”
294-125-12
8 Unified Lightweight titles
7 Unified Welterweight titles
1 Unified Middleweight title
3 Maxim Lightweight titles
2 Paramount Lightweight titles
1 Reebox Lightweight title
2 Reebox Welterweight titles
2 Paramount Welterweight titles
Original Member of the Hall Of Fame
Mistress of The Body Saddle 1/26/08-1/11/15

BEFORE

Joanna is at the podium. Charlize can’t be seen. Joanna “I’m going to tell and show you Charlize has two serious problems. First is, if Charlize is serious about going best of sevens, she is seriously going to have to reconsider, She is going to lose both to Milla and Me. Milla just knocked her out cold. In our last fight I gave Charlize the worst beating of her career. Her corner was afraid I was going to kill her. It’s what the former commissioner called style. We are not nearly as good as she is, but we have a a style she can’t solve. Well anyway, the day after the our last fight, I called her to check on her condition. I did that everyday for a week and as a result we became good friends. I joined a small group of her close friends I have talked to all of them, Tess, Neve, Cassandra Lynn and Kate the Queen and we agree, Charlize has another serious problem. She obsessed with getting 300 wins like it would be some kind of record. She already holds the record. I don’t believe anyone will ever win 294 wins she already has, To get to 300 wins, she is fighting way too much. This is her 25th fight of the year. I’ve seen her schedule. She is going to fight in twenty-nine bouts this year. That’s insane. The last time she fought that many fights was in 2002. She was twenty-six not forty-six. I talked with Alexander who just TKOed her. She said the woman she fought was not the Theron she expected. Milla Jovovich, who knocked Charlize out cold just ten days ago said Charlize looked and fought like she was tired. Look what happened in the McCarthy fight. Jenny came damn close to winning. Charlize looked like a beaten fighter after the fight. Anyway, I have tried to talk to Charlize, get her to take a couple months off, but she won’t talk about it. I told her I was going to have to go public. She said that was fine with her. This is just like our last fight. She had just suffered a really bad beating and she shouldn’t have been fighting that quick. She wouldn’t listen then. She shouldn’t be fighting so much, but she just won’t listen . Watch what happens tonight not only is she fighting too much, she has to get over that 300 win mark. Today is Polish Independence Day. I guarantee I will win

Charlize suddenly appear on the podium alongside Joanna. “I appreciate Joanna and my friends concerns, but I am fine. I’m going to show you tonight”. She gives Joanna a hug and walks off.

THE FIGHT

Joanna enters the ring wearing a white bra red bikini bottoms with white gloves and boots proudly showing off the colors of her native Poland. Her hair is in a pony tail Charlize is in her usual red bikini, red boots and gloves. Her hair is in a pony tail.

Round 1. The two meet in the center of the ring and touch gloves and back off. The are in close and Charlize uses her little reach advantage and pump a couple right jabs into Joanna’s face. Joanna tries a couple jabs but they all short as Charlize’s continues to use her reach advantage with a couple more jabs. Joanna remembers the Alexander bout and the plans for this fight are to go the Theron’s body and take her legs away. She closes and dips down and comes up inside Theron’s guard and rips a right-lefts into Charlize’s midsection. Her head resting on Theron’s bra, Joanna continues the body beating pushing Theron to the ropes. Charlize finally manages a right hook to Joanna’s chin and the starts driving Krupa back to the center of the ring with one cross after another. Joanna manages a hook to Charlize’s jaw that stops the bigger woman as the bell rings.

Round 2. Joanna told her corner, Charlize is quicker than she expected, but she was satisfied with the work she did on her body. Joanna is out to continue taking out Charlize’s legs. She closes on the big blonde and goes to the body. She drills crosses into Theron’s ribs. One punch after another are hurting Charlize. Theron finally catches Joanna with a right hook to the jaw that pushes Krupa.s head back. Krupa goes back a couple steps She nods at Theron and plunges back in to do more work on the body. Theron is having trouble keeping Joanna from getting in close, Joanna goes back to pounding away at Charlize’s ribs as Krupa beats Therons ribs with gusto. When Charlize drops her guard from her head, Joanna lands uppercuts to Theron’s jaw Theron finally manages to push Krupa away and hit with a right cross then a left and hook to the chin as the round ends. A good round for Joanna

Round 3. Joanna has Charlize on the defensive as she is quickly off her stool and on the attack. Charlize is moving parallel to the ropes, she wants to avoid any toe to toe situations, Joanna is following staying away. Suddenly Theron realizes Joanna has cut the ring down and she is close to corner where Charlize won’t have much room to punch. Charlize lands a left cross to Joanna’s jaw, then a right, another left. Krupa steps into Theron and lands a hard right hook the chin and then an overhand left to Theron face. A Theron right sails over Joanna’s head and Joanna is back to the body working on Theron’s midsection moving to the ribs with savage rights and lefts. Charlize drops her guard to protect her body, Joanna goes to punching Theron’s head back. She has Charlize leaning against the ropes taking the punishment to her midsection as the round ends,

Round 4 Charlize’s corner know what’s going on. They tell Charlize she has to use her great legs before Krupa takes then away. She needs to fight her fight. She needs to slug. Charlize moves to the center of the ring. She on her toes to show her legs still work. As Krupa approaches, Charlize meets her and starts punching away at Joanna catching her by surprise. A right to the side of head, a left to the other side, hook to the chin, another hook, and overhand right to the face has Joanna hurting. She feels the ropes against her back. She manages to duck a sweeping right and drills a right into Theron’s tummy. She sees hurt in Therons eyes but Charlize comes back with a right cross and the two are toe to toe punching away at the bell. Theron is getting the best of it. Joanna breaks it off and watches Theron move. Suddenly the two are back it punching away at each other. Again Theron is getting the best of it but Joanna isn’t backing off this time and manages more punches to the ribs. The bell rings. The referee has to step in between them to stop the brawl taking a right to his head in the process

Round 5 Joanna learned a lesson. Theron’s legs are still there and she can’t slug with Charlize. Fortunately she wasn’t hurt too badly in learning the lesson. It’s back to getting inside and working Theron’s body She moves in on Charlize bobbing and weaving. All she needs is for Theron to miss with a punch and there it was. A Theron overhand right narrowly misses head just clipping a side of an ear. Joanna is now inside. Left and rights pelt Theron’s ribs as Theron guard drops to protect her bruised body, Joanna lands a hook the Theron’s chin and then goes back to the body, She is now targeting Theron’s tummy. For every punch she lands, she hears a gasp. Music to her ears. Charlize is breathing hard as her lower body is turning red. She finally lands a right cross and doubles up forcing Joanna back. A pair of overhand rights has Joanna moving out of punching range as the round ends

Round 6. Joanna knows the body work has Theron hurting but she still is going to avoid a slugfest if she can. She moves to the center of the ring but Theron is staying away. Theron wants to avoid any punching. She want’s to take the round off and get her breathing back to normal. While she has been the victim of serious body work, her ribs are painful she can still move. Joanna is trying to close, but Theron keeps on moving away and changing directions Occasionally the two get close and exchange punches but Charlize alway breaks it off. The crowd is restless as there is little action with only a couple exchanges. Joanna is frustrated that she can’t get Theron in action

Round 7 In Krupa’s corner they make sure she realizes Theron hands were low in round six. They tell her she can end It this round. The body work to the ribs has her hurting. She has difficulty raising her gloves without pain. She closes on Charlize. She eats a pair of crosses to her head. Nothing behind them. She gets inside Theron’s guard. A left and right to the ribs has Theron groaning in pain, Joanna switches to the solar plexus. Theron’s guard seems non-existent. One punch after another to the belly drives Theron to the ropes. Theron’s hand are low as Joanna knows how to finish. She punches away at Theron’s bra. Straight rights and lefts sink into the blondes bra. Uppercuts have Charlize’s breasts almost out of the bra cups. She sees hurt in Theron’s eyes and hears sobs. Theron is sagging in the ropes as Krupa continues to pound away at Charlize’s body at will. Despite the terrible body beating, Charlize is going to last the round, Joanna spent too much time punishing rather than going for the knockout. At the bell Charlize wanders back to her corner

Round 8 In Theron’s corner her Nascar team are like the Navy Seabee’s, their motto is “The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little longer” In this case the task was too long. They have Charlize on her feet. She won’t quit. Charlize still thinks she can pull off a come from behind win. Charlize knows at this stage, she has to knock Joanna out. She’s going to slug. Joanna is willing and the two meet in the center of ring and Joanna starts punching.. In thirty seconds, Joanna is winning as Charlize can’t get her hands up due the pain in her ribs. She drives Theron to the ropes. Joanna lands a roundhouse right to the side of Charlize’s head. Joanna follows with a left upside Charlize ear Joanna dips down and unleashes two blockbusters to Theron’s tummy, then two to the midsection an two hard straight punches to Theron’s bra and she finishes with straight overhand punches to Charlize’s face. Charlize is swaying glassy eyed.. She’s out on her feet. The ringsiders are yelling for the fight to be stopped.The referee ignores the calls. Joanne comes off her hip putting everything she has into a sweeping uppercut that catches all of Theron’s chin.The punch turns Charlize around. She’s against the ropes looking at the crowd. but seeing nothing, her arms hanging at her side. Her legs give away and she slowly slides down the strands and pitches over onto her back. THE GODDESS IS DOWN.The referee takes one look at the blonde, all stretched out, her eyes closed, a hint of blood from her nose, a beaten unrecognizable wreck, he starts to waive the fight off, but Joanne yells at him “Don’t you waive her off. She’s the greatest of all time. She and a couple more help build this organization. You do her the courtesy of counting her out. You don’t need to hurry. You can count to a hundred, but count her out” The referee angrily glares at Joanna and starts the count as Joanna has her gloves removed. At ten, he points Theron’s corner back to their place and keeps counting. Krupa yells at him to stop counting, At forty, Charlize hasn’t moved. Joanne is ready to go after the ref, but her corner mates are holding her back. At sixty, the only sign of life was Charlize’s chest rising as she breathes, as Joanna continues to scream at the ref. At eighty, Theron tries to raise her head. At ninety, her hands start to move to her face. The count continues 96-97-98-99 -100. IT’s OVER. Joanna is in a rage that the referee counted to 100, He goes to raise her hand in victory, but she turns her back on the ref saying “Don’t you dare touch me. You didn’t have to embarrass her, You’re a duzy dupek.”

Joanna Krupa takes the lead 2-1 in the best of seven with brutal KO of Charlize Theron. Charlize sets another record being the first fighter in twenty two years to be counted out to one hundred

Joanna goes over to where Theron is lying being worked on by Lawrence, Robbie and a doctor. She kneels down and watches for some sign Charlize is coming around, hoping she hasn’t seriously damaged the great blonde. Charlize finally stirs. They get the Goddess to her feet and Joanna helps Theron get back to her dressing room waits a few minutes until Charlize starts talking and then heads to her dressing room

AFTER
Joanna is the first in the press room waiting on Charlize. Charlize enters, she’s far from being the great classic beauty of reputation. Her face in badly bruised and swollen. Left eye is black, her lips cut. She walks over to Joanna pulls her to her feet and gives her a big hug. Theron winces in pain as Joanna hugs her around the ribs. Joanna is almost in tears again. Joanna is a little self conscious. She is confident that she looks good while Charlize looks like she has just been marched over by 82nd Airborne. When asked by a reporter how it feels to knock out the GOAT in two straight fights, Joanna says the obvious “It feels great especially knocking her out on November 11.”

Charlize interrupts “Joanna enjoy the two knockouts because they are the last you are going to get. From now on it will be you being counted out.”

Joanna “That could well be true, but all your friends have warned you, you are fighting way too much You have to slow down, take some time off, regroup came back as the amazing fighter you are. The last four fights should tell you you are going to get ruined if you don’t”.The last two knockouts weren’t the trying to get up on time kind. You were unconscious for minutes. I want to take the best of seven from a great fighter, not some blithering idiot, plus the previous commissioner was right. I’m not the fighter you are, but you can’t solve my style. and guess what. You have the same problem with Milla Jovovich and we are both from Eastern Europe,

Charlize :Let’s not try this in public. Call me when you have time. I have a schedule I have to meet. I have another fight in twelve days”

Tess Valmore: “Those twelve days off means you will be on this month’s PPV. Want to tell us who your opponent will be?

Charlize “Rosario Dawson, I have always wanted to fight her. You know
my whole career is filled with press comments that I am a has been. I remember the first time was on 4/29/99 after Naomi Campbell KOed me in three. Since then every I got beaten badly, the word was I was finished. I’ve had a rough patch recently and you know It happens to us all. I lost to Milla and Joanne. Don’t fool your self. They are good fighters. They both hit hard, but I will win these best of seven and I will win 300 fights. Bet on it.