Result by Lookout!/words by OddManOut

Before: In our Main Event, the two most in-demand blondes in the FCBA square off! A whopping 19 titles fights last year between them, including Courtney ending Kate’s record-setting reign as Queen of the Ice Hotel! Nine months and both the FCBA and BBU JMDD champions, Kate’s Still angry about it! “The Ice Hotel was my first title fight, and those judges ended that fight when I was about to take her down! Don’t think I haven’t forgotten that! That’s why it’s always special when I take down one of the O&E girls!”

Courtney not impressed by the Champ’s bravado. “I’d be scared if I hadn’t remembered being there when Kate got her face painted with Tahnee’s ass! She’s nothing special on sand and we’re the best beach fighters in the world! O&E’s going to be the first stable to get two JMDD champions honestly, just like we’re the only one with two Queens of the Ice Hotel!”

Ringposts in sand setup. Courtney entering sporting a purple paint microbikini, white gloves, Hair loose and long, pausing as she ducks under the ropes to sweep it back to her back. Kate entering with the JMDD tiara, (paint job not compatible with the jewelled bra) pink paint bikini with white trim, pink gloves, hair chin-length and loose. Both fighters barefoot in sand. Both fighters hands on hips, forehead-to-forehead, tit-to-tit during abbreviated JMDD instructions. Asked to touch gloves, both fighters stay

R1: No surprises here, fighters swapping meaty hooks belly/breasts, then looking to drop in righty. Good blunt punching here - Courtney's right hand crashing just inside Kate's right shoulder at one point, turning bronzed torso aside. Upton's right hand jamming onto jaw - sponged up stubbornly by Tailor. Kate gradually establishing a shoving little left uppercut to Courtney's sternum - then doubling it to chin: challenger's taking these punches without complaint, but also without receipt as Upton outworks Tailor in the first.

R2: Courtney with thick, thudding, no-nonsense pounding at breasts or face like bricks through a windshield. Kate startled by impact, forms peek-a-boo guard: Tailor able to edge inside, work the gut short hooks/bump her left shoulder to get Champ moving backward. Upton keeping guard together, but forced backward: Courtney bumpin' and sluggin' walking her blonde down, really working over the waist/flanks big-girl here. Final moments - Tailor pushes Upton to ropes, punishes her body rich, thick, clobbering wallops. Kate sponges it up like a trooper, lips pursed in hurt as she feels Courtney's brute strength.

R3: Kate standing in firm gun-platform stance to shell Courtney's head & tits outside. Tailor bobbing/weaving - pawing her own jab to Upton's breasts, eventually managing to work the left eye of her foe to some effect. Courtney forced to walk-through and take, then give the right uppercut thick to the body and a firm left hook to jaw once she's inside: Kate busier, getting off first and last, outclassing the challenger. Down the stretch, Upton able to pound at Tailor in close, then palm her shoulders and shove her off...forcing Texan to renegotiate the jab to get back inside. Good slugging work done, Kate to Courtney: Champ pulling ahead after three

R4: Courtney marching on Kate, stepping into the tit shot; dropping the sledgehammer right; pushing Champ on her shoulders and walking her down. Upton on her heels, trying to keep dukes at temples...she's ineffective backing up, looking disheveled, abused. Down the stretch, Kate manages to walk Courtney into a right to chin, shifting Texan to her right, Upton finally able to pop her hips into a jolting left hook, catching a good portion of jaw. Tailor firms, trades rights and lefts as Kate bulls forward, fighters slugging each other to a halt midring, racking up tons of punishment with no signs either is slowing down .

R5: Grinding big-woman battle getting uglier and grittier as the first half of the fight closes, heavy-hitting welter fight ain’t fun for either. Kate forced by a grimly aggressive Courtney into the ropes, but sweat-soaked locks are flopping as her head is snapped back as she walks into sweet uppercuts while bulling her blonde backwards. Close quarters, like it’s been all night, Tailor’s turn to be pushing, laying siege, clubbing shots on Upton’s biceps&breasts. By the final minute, Kate starts placing counter left and right uppercuts off the block, blocking body shots on her elbows, then picking Courtney up clean. Texan's legs all wobbly/bendy for the first time! Stumbling Courtney totters backwards, walked into midring by a finally mobile Kate as round ends before either fighter can take control of the open sand.

R6: Courtney not messing around now - she bodies up & walks Kate to ropes - there to process her. Upton showing earmuff, then riding her forearms in against Tailor's shoulders, trying to bump her off: Texan stubborn, hard to move - pushes her head in between Kate's mitts and works. Courtney's buttocks ringing as she stamps and digs in: she's on top of Upton and won't budge. Thudding, chugging work done on Kate’s classic form: Courtney bashing away on her blonde, this fight is all about who has the better reserves now. Tailor bumping and getting off left uppercuts to tits or dipping to her left to fit Upton's ribs for hooks. Kate trying to clinch-and-spin to reverse, but Courtney too strong: able to stack Champ into ropes, stuffing the reversal attempts, then wriggling arms-free to continue the assault. Bell: Upton mouth-breathing, looking frazzled; Tailor all business on the stomp-back to her corner, painted

R7: Haymakers from a crouch drive Courtney to ropes early: Kate sets up on reddened chest. Tailor palming Upton's ears, controlling the head; Champ whirling blind rights and lefts at Courtney's tits, or pounding away to pudding downstairs. Tailor groaning with effort of turning Upton into ropes - leads to big-woman body-wrestling as Champ wrestles challenger back down. Courtney able to stoop-and-shove thick right hands to breadbasket, but Kate maintains position, keeps Texan stacked up for the most part, wears on her for points.

R8: Courtney attacks, eats a stubby right uppercut in close; gets hooked across the tits, stumbles backward; Kate walks her down. Upton reaches under Tailor's arms, chests her tuff into the O&E corner...left arm still under fellow blonde's right, slams right forearm across Courtney's jugs, then pounds righty-on-the-gut until ref's break. Tailor staring, disheveled...she covers up earmuff, butt-on-turnbuckle as Upton regroups, steps back in. Shelling beatdown ensues, Kate riding head-and-guard on Courtney; heavy right cross; thick left hook loud across paunch...RIGHT UPPERCUT, COURTNEY TAILOR! Shocking jolt from picks Upton up stiff and THE CHAMP GOES DOWN! Kate on her back, picking head up off sand in groggy wonder, Courtney seething down as ref pushes her away. Upton rallies shabby off the deck, takes a reeling 8: ON COMES TAILOR! Kate's turn to sag on ropes, dukes at temples as Courtney slops on the hurt. Beefy, swinging rights take Kate in left armpit; short left uppercuts clang away on the guard, Tailor bodying up, then getting off right/left, beating Upton across her front. Kate gritting her teeth, riding it out - she'll occasionally tie up around Courtney's arms, but challenger cleaning up big, pulling ahead as the championship rounds come around!

R9: Kate POUNDS in jabs to stall Courtney's forward progress. Tailor halted out on the end of poke, Upton pinging tummy&tits, then dropping in tangy right hands to right side of blonde's face. COURTNEY'S LEGS GIVE A SHIMMY! Kate driving in with all her weight and venom - she finally puts Tailor wobbly butt with crushing power. Off the crunching one-twos, Upton dips left shoulder, rips right uppercuts to Texan's breadbasket: Courtney grunting, bunching up, paralyzed on the spot. Kate palms shoulders, pushes crippled opponent backward AND TO A SEAT ON THE SAND! Courtney climbs the ropes, Upton out of the corner before the eight, piling on top before she can get turned around. Pounding right hands to kidneys, Kate snarling, laying 'em in thick then reloading as Courtney arches in agony, slumps forward giving up her back. UPTON'S DESTROYING TAILOR! Courtney's left arm trapped outside the ring, Kate leaning over to reach around and cram right hand to belly or breasts, or hammer illegal-even-for-JMD forearms across that hated back. Tailor lolling there, stacked and helpless, staring out over the crowd. THE REF STEPS IN! Courtney helpless, out on her feet - Kate pastes in an extra right axehandle before she's shunted aside. TKO9 UGLY for the winner and STILL JMDD Champion, Kate Upton!

After: Courtney still has a deathgrip on the ropes, mumbling “cheating b!tc#” over and over. Kate chest heaving after the heavy action, waves off her crew, still with her gloves on grabs a mittful of sweat-soaked hair to turn Tailor, gets a weak backfist to the face that still manages to send her stutter-stepping back a couple steps. Courtney vaguely waving her fists, still mumbling the mantra, Kate demanding she “Shut UP!” Upton wraps Tailor up, folds her head into her cleavage for the skin-to-skin smother, starts to body her into the corner, Texan’s left arm still free and whacking into Kate’s back on auto-pilot. Upton winces as one of them hits something sensitive, but keeps bulling her way back until the bundled busty blondes come to a rest on the turnbuckle. Kate looking over the crowd, holding the smother till Courtney stops punching. Upton backs off to midring, leaving Tailor lolling in the corner with pink paint on her face, then breaks into a jog, then a run jugs a’jumpin and LEAPS into her signature splash!

THE RINGPOST GIVES WAY! The bodies crashing into it too much for the sand to handle, and Courtney and Kate go tumbling into the open sand reserved for post-fight humiliations! Victor and vanquished sent tumbling ass-over-teakettle, end up sprawled head-to-head covered in sand. Still with their gloves on, they pull themselves up to their knees, chests heaving with exhaustion. They drunkenly shuffle together on their knees, trading weak punches to their tenderized tits, whimpering in their weakened states. They grab a handful of breasts with their lefts as their rights bat at bellies, breasts and backs. Heads resting on each other’s shoulders, they continue to do their best to hurt each other, regardless of their exhausted state, as this main event ends not with a bang, but two whimpering blondes shuddering on their knees.