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17 March 2022 Jenny McCarthy vs Nicole Scherzinger

Page history last edited by caspian2 1 year, 5 months ago

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 17 March 2022, 7:39am

Annual Saint Paddy’s Day Donnybrook

And the tradition continues ...

Pretty much every year since 2006, come March 17th, the FCBA sets aside the gloves and goes ultimate “old school” - the annual St. Paddy’s Day Donnybrook - bare knuckles bar fighting! Some of the Emerald Isle’s finest have taken part … Jenny O’Dell … Bridget Regan … Gena lee Nolin … and of course, the Queen of the Barroom … Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy!

This year the venue is the venerable McGillin’s Old Ale House in Philadelphia, serving since 1860, and the place is packed with well heeled fans, luminaries of the FCBA, and if it’s Philly … it’s Front Street Boxing’s home turf.

Call went out for an opponent and no takers stepped up - Jenny Mac crowing “The skanks are all terrified! Not one of them has the stones to face me bare knuckles! - until an old nemesis and a familiar face in Philly took up the challenge - none other than Nichole Scherzinger (or as Mac described her - the “O.G. Dancing Hooker”) .Banner on wall proclaims:

“PLAYMATE v PUSSYCAT”

Crowd worked into a frenzy as the Dropkick Murphy’s ripping through “Blood” … “If you want blood we’ll give you some … straight form the heart til the job is done!” No ring … just a cleared out area in the center of the bar … tables and crowd surrounding it!

Miss Ginny pounding the table and pounding the bottle! Amanda Righetti … Kira Kosarin … Kate Upton … naturally, Front Street is front and center with a lot of the regulars - the Wiz of course, Cassie Scerbo, Poindexter Del Crunchy, Front Street’s original “flagship” Pink, Neve Campbell (won’t THAT warm Jenny MAc’s heart!) and Front Street guests Tess Valmore the the G.O.AT. - Charlize Theron - people keeping a respectful distance from the Front Street table, likely due to the dinosaur sized Big Paulie.

The Dropkick Murphy’s conclude their set and crowd erupts as the sound system blares “Don’cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me … Don’cha with your girlfriend was a freak like me!“ and here comes Nichole Scherzinger … and she’s accompanied by the Pussycat Dolls!

Nichole in red sports bra, matching yoga pants, trainers and hand wraps.

Tess Valmore to Cassie “Does she even know what she’s getting into? The way she’s dressed? This is NOT a boxing match! And those backup dancers have no clue how to work a corner! She needs help!”

“On it BFF” smirks Cassie, “C’mon, big man!” and grabbing Poindexter Del Crunchy by the wrist, the mismatched pair head to Sherzinger’s corner. Just then, sound system thumps a jazz base and “Oh the shark, babe … has such teeth, dear …” and look out ol’ Mac is back! Jenny McCarthy … flannel shirt knotted under the money makers … jeans … bridgeman’s shoes … scally cap … and swigging from a pint of Guinness … seconded by a very unsteady Scrubby McGee and a very nervous looking Adrianne Palciki, called on to substitute for Big Bad Gena Lee Nolin, who is busy in the alley behind the bar, teaching some mouthy biker b*tch some manners!

Referee’s instructions and Scherzinger bewildered - what the hell did she get herself into - “No biting?!!”. Cassie Scerbo, musing nonchalantly about the history of the 150 year old pub, asks Jenny what it was like on opening night, prompting a lunge out of McCarthy! Cassie dances back … sticks her tongue out … Jenny breaks free from a struggling Palciki intent on murder … and stops dead in her tracks when she sees “Big Paulie”!!!

Pale and shook, returns to her corner … “Who the hell let HIM in?” she asks Scrubby, who has nodded off with a half finished bottle of Jamesons … and there’s the bell - fight’s on!

Nichole senses McCarthy is unfocused (who would have seen THAT coming) and sprints across to pound lead right to side of temple. Cap flies off her head and onto Miss Ginny’s table and the blonde is sent reeling. Brunette quick looking to capitalize and maybe blow the Irish girl out of the fight before its started - but startled by kick to the shin with heavy boot. Referee “Here’n now … they’ll be none of that!” - J-Mac is admonished and she could not care less! “Give her some of that back, Nikki!” screams Scerbo from the sidelines - prompting Jenny Mac to cock her fist to give Cassie a smack - until she sees the silhouette of Big Paulie … and Jenny decides she has “urgent business” on the other side of the bar!

Two battlers now circling each other - J-Mac flat footed, Scherzy up on her toes and jabbing. Cassie urging, “Go the the body, Nikki, forget the head! She’s so drunk she’ll barely feel the head shots!”

Nichole throws straight right, Mac slips it … and grabs her in a headlock! Jenny feeding right hands into a stunned Scherzinger’s pretty face. Poindexter Del Crunchy hurumphs “I knew we were dispensing with the Marquis of Queensbury rules but this is the bloody Marquis De Sade!”

McCarthy throws Scherzinger to her knees and clips her a left uppercut as the flustered referee tries to get between them. Mac snarls “Count!” and Nichole takes the ten count … its all over in less than three minutes!

Winner and Queen of the Bar Room - Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy!

Tess Valmore out of her seat, “That was dirty!”

Jenny smirking, “It’s bar fightin’ Walmart! Rule one - there ain’t no rules! I’m barely warmed up … I’d LOVE to show you!”

And Tess stepping up! The big blonde’s fists are clenched and she looks game! And she’s backed by Cassie Scerbo … and Charlize Theron … and Pink … and Neve Campbell!

Poindexter Del Crunchy putting his massive frame between the ladies, “We don;t need a bloody stable war!”

“Stable war? I’m your huckleberry. Why that’s just my game!” and it appears she is done with her business in the alley and Big Bad Gena Lee Nolin is back!!! And it looks like this thing is about to explode … until Adrianne Palicki wraps up Jenny McCarthy from behind … and Lawley does the same with Nolin … and the two blond belligerents are wrestled back to the Sceej table.

Later that night …

Pointy and Scrubby McGee laying waste to a second bottle of Jameson’s.

Palicki and Lawley surrounded by a cheering crowd as they arm-wrestle.

And Jenny McCarthy AT THE FRONT STREET TABLE (and oblivious to the mustache that Cassie Scerbo has drawn on her lip) - Front Street regulars equal parts amazed and amused as Jenny spouts a long philosophical word salad at her newest bestest buddy …

“Tess, I tell ya … do you mind if I call you Tess, Walmart? Cuz you’re my friend! There … I said it … and I don’t give a f*ck … you’re my friend! But ya gotta stop picking against me, Tess-aroo? I mean … I always treat you with resh-pekt … why can’t you …”

Jenny stops mid sentence as the Dropkick Murhpys bagpipes wail … “Oh f*ck … I love this song … don’t go anywhere … I’ll be back right!” And Jenny bound up to the band (much to Tess Valmore’s relief!)

And then Jenny’s crowding into a mic … she’s singing … stray dogs are howling outside .. and the crowd is singing along … and Adrianne Palicki is doing a face palm!

“So kiss me … I’m sh*t faced … I’m soaked and soiled and brown …”

HAPPY SAINT PADDY’S DAY - SLAINTE!