Kate Upton vs Charlize Theron
Results, Lookout:, Story, Tractorpull:

TALE OF THE TAPE

Kate Upton

Age 29

Height 5’10”

99-28-0

4 Time Unified Welterweight Champion

4 Time FCBA JMDD Champion

2 Time BBU JMDD Champion

1 Time Queen of the Ice Hotel


Charlize Theron

Age 46

Height 5’9”

300-127-12

8 Time Unified Lightweight Champion

7 Time Unified Welterweight Champion

1 Time Unified Middleweight Champion

3 Time Maxim Lightweight Champion

2 Time Paramount Lightweight Champion

1 Time Reebox Lightweight Champion

2 Time Reebox Welterweight Champion

2 Time Paramount Welterweight Champion

Mistress Of the Body Saddle 1/26/08-1/11/15

Original Member of the Hall OF Fame

Recognized as the “GOAT"


Tess Valmore, the Queen of the FCBA press, has an almost carte blanche to the seldom seen or reported behind the scenes activity. She has just left Theron’s dressing room. It was a little bizarre, The atmosphere was somber and quiet. It felt more like a funeral home rather than a pre-fight dressing room. The little talk she heard was Neve quietly giving instructions the famous Nascar corner team. Charlize was laying face down on the table getting a last minute massage covered by a sheet from her waist down. Her eyes were closed. Her breathing regular like she was getting ready to go to a movie. Tess asked Neve “Is she sleeping? Neve replied, 'no she is just relaxing” Tess ‘You mean to tell me she has a huge fight in forty minutes and she’s sleeping?”. Neve: “No, she isn’t sleeping and if she is, what’s the big deal. I’ll get her up in ten minutes and she will be ready to go into the ring on schedule. Tess just shakes her head in disbelief. Neve: “Tess, Charlize has been fighting for twenty three years. She does what she wants to. I’m not her boss. She will be ready to take on Kate” Tess: “Do you really think she can win?” Neve “No comment” Tess: I mean off the record, do you think she can possibly win?” Neve “No comment”

Kate’s dressing room was about ten feet away. As she approaches she hears music blasting out. She knocks on the door, It opened and Yvonne Strahovski smiled, turned and said “Kate, it’s Tess” She heard Kate say “let her in, you know she’s a good friend.” Tess recognizes the music. Kate is sitting on the massage table dressed in her fighting bikini, talking and laughing as some of her team joked about the fight. Tess “You’re playing the Dropkick Murphys? Kate “Great pre-fight music”.Kate asks Tess how Charlize was and Tess tells her that she thinks Charlize was sleeping. Kate says “She’s sleeping thirty-five minutes before a big fight? That’s unbelievable.’ Tess immediately regrets giving that information. Tess tells Kate “You’re looking at the fight all wrong. Charlie has nothing at stake, but you do. If Charlize loses, well she is supposed to. There is not even a line on this fight in Vegas. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose. If you win, well you are supposed to. If you lose, you will be the laughing stock of the FCBA” Kate says “I never thought of it that way, but Charlize doesn’t have a chance. I will win.” Tess noticed there was a bucket with a couple bottles of Champagne chilling, ready for the post-fight celebration. Kates tells Tess to sit down and see what it’s like in the dressing room, when you have the fight won before you even climb in the ring. The Upton team was not taking this fight seriously. Tess could not help but notice the contrast between the two dressing rooms. It sent a chill down her spine

BEFORE

Two podiums are set up in the center of the stage. From the left, the current. Alpha Blonde, Kate Upton emerges, From the right, enters the greatest blonde of all time, the aged Charlize Theron. Being good friends the meet, hug each other and get behind the podiums.

Kate Upton is the first to speak. “Charlize is probably the oldest fighter I will ever face.. I realize I got roped into a bar fight with McCarthy last year. It was a big mistake. They got me three sheets to wind by feeding me alcoholic drinks telling me they were fruit juice cocktails. McCarthy didn’t last long. It would have been one minute if I was sober. This is a real fight in a real ring and official.

I get to talk first, because those you predicted the result, said I would win. Now you may not remember that Charlize beat me by a TKO ten years ago. She was at the end of her prime and I had not entered my prime, so this fight is actually for the best of three.That I am going to win this fight is obvious. My opponent has 100% no chance. As Tess Valmore says, this is a slam dunk. I will tell you why. Charlize dear, would you please step out from your podium. I will do the same. Now you can see our bodies. Charlize is slender. She looks ill fed. Almost skinny. Not to brag, but look at me. A fit body with all the curves in the right places. Look at her arms. Do you see a single muscle? Notice she is standing with her right arm on the podium, those gorgeous legs that terrorized the FCBA for fifteen years, can’t even hold her up. She needs support. Her power is nothing like it was when she ruled two divisions. She was known to have that deadly right hand, now she can lift a fork and that’s about all. She used to be known as a extremely smart fighter. Well, She has taken way too many punches to the her head in 438 fights. She’s been knocked out or TKOed too many times. It’s so bad that when we go out to eat, I have to explain the menu to her. It’s just a fact. I am better, bigger, heavier, seventeen years younger, fitter, faster and hit harder. All the great talent she once had is gone. That’s just the way it is. She’s now slow, not much power and very vulnerable . That’s not her fault. Father Time is responsible. It’s something I will have to face in seven or eight years. I have promised a mutual friend that I wouldn’t hurt her too badly, but you never know in the heat of battle. Your turn Charlize”

Charlize: “I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should just lay down now and let the referee count me out”

THE FIGHT. Charlize came down the aisle wearing a plain red robe with a hood pulled over her head. Her head down, Her face couldn’t be seen. There is no playing to the crowd.She takes off the robe and patiently stands in the corner waiting on her opponent She’s wearing the usual red bikini with red gloves and boots, her hair in a ponytail. A minute later, Kate walked down the aisle wearing a white robe with a crown and“Kate The Great’ in Crimson on the back. Entering the ring, She takes off the robe revealing a white well filled white bikini, white shoes and gloves. Her hair hanging loosely around her shoulders. She walks around the ring with her hands held high as the crowd cheers. There was no introduction announcement. Not needed, The crowd definitely knows who is who, after all they are two of the most famous women in the country They meet in the center of the ring to get the instructions, the two being good friends instead of touching gloves, they hug each other again as Kate whispers to Charlize, “ Please forgive me for what I am going to do. I don’t want to hurt you. but you know what I have to do”

Round 1. Kate expects Charlize to be careful and defensive. Instead Charlize comes out going right into Kate. She lands a right jab, then a second and even a third driving Kate back towards the ropes. Kate stops her with a right hook to the chin and Charlize backs off. Charlize is now circling looking for an opening. Kate is in the center of the ring not moving as she lets Charlize expend her energy to no result. Kate, then moves towards the older blonde with a right hook to the chin followed by a left cross. Before Kate can follow up Theron rips a left -right into Kates bra. It stops Kate as she tells the GOAT, “you are going to pay for that”. Kate drive a straight right into Charlize’s stomach, then a left to the chin. Not to be out punched, Charlize responds with two right jabs to the face and a left hook to the chin. They are in the center of the ring now exchanging punches as the crowd comes to its feet. Kate is concentrating on power while Charlize is going with speed. Charlize is actually out punching her bigger rival, but Kates harder punches are taking its toll. Charlize is backing Kate up as the bell rings. Kate returns to her corner to face Nicole Kidman, her trainer. Nicole: “what was that about. The fight should be over by now, but you let her take the round. You need to take this seriously”

Round 2. The two meet in the center of with ring. Kate knows Charlize’s strategy. Charlize pushes out a right jab. Kate block it and catches her opponent with a right cross, then a left and another right. Charlize is avoiding the ropes slides to her left. A right hook wobbles the older blonde. but she is not going to make it easy. Kate going to end it now, but before she can throw the punch. Charlize lands a pair of hard punches to the great one’s bra stopping her again.

Kate’s now irate and she powers a right cross to Theron’s head, once again buckling Theron’s legs Charlize is trying to stay on her feet. Kate moves in to finish her opponent, but desperate overhand right crashes into her face stopping the Great One. Charlize moves back. She doesn’t want to get into a slugging match with her bigger opponent. She’s moving one way than other changing directions as Kate follows. Suddenly, Charlize finds she has got herself in a corner. Kate is quick to take advantage and lands a right-left to older blonde’s head , a right hook to the jaw and a another left upside Theron’s head. Charlize is sagging back against a ring post She has no punching room. Kate goes to the body landing punch after punch into the older blonde’s midsection. Theron having trouble breathing as her legs threaten to give away, but the bell rings saving Charlize for another round as she staggers across the ring to her corner. In Kate’s corner, Kidman tells Kate “that was more like it”

Round 3. Charlizes is slow out of corner. Kate is confidently deliberate, watching her opponent. Suddenly Kate sees an opening, closing and landing left-right to the head. Charlize steps back and drills an overhand right to Upton’s face backing her off. The two close again. Kate goes back to Theron’s head with right and left cross. Charlize goes to the body punching away at Upton’s midsection and then criss crossing Upton’s bra forcing Upton to back off once more. The two are watching each other and like there was some signal they clash again. They meet and again are toe to toe with Charlize getting the better of it until a Upton right hook to the chin sends her staggering back. Theron is hurt again, but Kate is slow to follow up and loses the opportunity to end the bout. Theron is determined to make fight of it lunges forward and buries a right into Upton’s stomach. Now it’s Upton stumbling away as she turns her side to Charlize. Charlize is on her opponent. She puts her right glove on Kates right shoulder turning her to face the older blonde. Charlize lands a right uppercut and left cross sending Kate back to the ropes as the bell rings. Kate is greeted by Nicole telling she just lost another round. The fight should have been over by now and Charlize is winning In Theron’s corner, Neve tells her she has to rely on her legs. Don’t get into a slugging match with Kate who has all the power, She needs to move and peck away at Kate and take the fight by a decision

Round 4. Charlize is out of her corner and not waiting, is on the attack. She lands two right jabs to Kate’s face and quickly backs out. She’s moving one way than the other. Kate is standing still just watching Charlize as she looks for an opening. Once again, Charlize closes with two right jabs that punch Kates head back, but she doesn’t stop there. She continues to land jabs to Upton’s face as Kate overcomes the surprise and buckles Theron’s legs with a right hook. Now it’s Kate on the hunt, She is on Charlize, right to the stomach, left hook to the chin. She lands the combination again and again as she drives Theron into the ropes. Charlize is being rocked with that right to the stomach and left to the head combination. Charlize’s corner is screaming for her to get off the ropes. Kate is grinning as she feels the fight leaving Theron’s body. She reads hurt in Charlize’s eyes. Suddenly, the game changes as Charlize manages a right uppercut to Kates chin. Kate stumbles back in surprise as Charlize is land ing crosses to her head. Finally, Kate stops Charlize with a hard right hook, left to the midsection and another hard right to Theron’s chin and she sees Theron’s eyes glaze. Kate then sets up and cuts loose with a round house right that going to end the fight. The punch sails just over Theron’s head. Kate is off balance as Charlize lands a left cross and UPTON IS DOWN. Kates on her hands and knees is the center of the ring. She punches the canvas in frustration She gets to her feet at the count of five and gets the standing eight count. She is more embarrassed than hurt. She is furious and charges Theron, fists wrecking the older blondes midsection as the round ends. In Kates corner Nicole is irate. That knockdown was the critical factor in the round. She congratulates Kate on losing another round and Charlize is making a fool of her. If Charlize can win one more round she can run the rest of the fight and probably win. She can’t punch with Kate like she used to. She’s old so go out there and finish her. In Theron’s corner the Nascar team do their job on the hurting Theron, tears appearing in her eyes

Round 5 As the bell rings, Kate has not calmed down. They say that Charlize is making a fool of her. That is going to stop and stop now. As they get in punching range, once again Charlize is out with that right jab. One, two. Three quick jabs land in Kate’s face, but she walks through them and drives Theron back with an overhand right to the face. Charlize goes to Kate’s bra with a pair of of hooks but an Upton right hook to the chin straightens her up. As Charlize is straightened up, a vicious right-left-right to the stomach pumps some breath from the older blonde. A Upton right uppercut sends Charlize to the ropes. Power right and left crosses pound the older blondes head one way then the other. As Charlize legs threaten to give way. More uppercuts punch Theron’s head over the over the top rope. The glassy eyed Charlize appears defenseless. Her hands are waist high,Kate moves in and says “it’s payback prime” as she goes to Charlize’s bra. Uppercuts, and crosses land with plenty of forearm as Kate mercilessly pounds away. Charlize is trembling in shock as tears appear. Her hands drop to her side. More right-left crosses swivel her head. The Golden Goddess is out on her feet, helpless, barely able to stand as the ropes support her. The referee steps in to look at Theron’s eyes, No one is home, but bell rings before he can stop the fight. Charlize drunkly staggers towards the wrong corner before shouts from her corner get to her corner where she collapses into Neve’s arms. Kate follows the badly battered blonde to her corner as asks Neve to “please throw in the towel”. Neve just says “Charlize never quits. Do what you have to do”. Kate say’s “Please stop the fight. Look at her. She is barely conscious, she can’t come out for the next round.” Neve gets in Kate’s face “Read my lips. It’s not my decision. I said, Charlize doesn’t quit. You want to end it, well end it” The referee gets between the two and tells Kate to get to her corner. Kate gets to her corner and tells Nicole Chalize won’t quit. Nicole responds that Theron is friend of hers too. They have worked together and she knows Charlize doesn’t quit. Another round like the fifth, could send Charlize to the hospital so Kate needs to end the charade now, immediately. Be merciful and knock her out. The Nascar corner team have done their work and have the older blonde on her feet. In Kates corner, Kate is unbelieving. “Charlize is out of it How is she standing? She should have been down and counted out. She didn’t even go down. Nobody takes that kind of punishment from me and stays in the fight. I know she is famous for taking punishment, but she’s taken more than enough”

Round 6. Charlize is dimly aware that the only way she can come back is to slug even if she knows, she can no longer slug with Kate. but maybe she can get lucky. Charlize can barely keep her balance. Her eyes are unfocused as Kate watches her from the center of the ring. The referee is watching closely. It won’t take much for him to stop the fight. He is thinking about stopping the fight now, before a punch in thrown in the round. Charlize surprises Kate with a left upside her head. Kate steps back eyeing her antagonist, then steps in drives a left-right deep into Charlize’s stomach. Her Kate moves up. Her fists are are caving in the older blondes abs in and she follows up with a hook the the older blondes chin. Charlize stumbles forward and manages to get her arms around Kate’s shoulders in a clinch. Charlize’s arms are slipping as Kate pumps short lefts and rights into the aged blonde’s solar plexus. Finally, Kate manages to push Charlize away Charlize just stands and helplessly swaying, legs threatening to give way. As the referee starts to step in, Kate’s right glove has already dropped to her knee and her whole body rotated up with all of Kates 147 pounds behind it and crashes flush on Theron’s chin. The punch lifts the older blonde up to her tip toes. The crowd roars to its feet and they know the fight is over. Nobody survives a punch like that. Charlize crashes back to the ropes and then bounds forward right into a round house right cross. Her mouthpiece explodes out of her mouth The crowd is horrified. Charlize is down on her back. Her eyes closed. Blood Is trickling out of her mouth and nose, her chest barely rising as she breathes. The referee doesn’t bother to look. He yells for the doctor.

Kate is standing over Charlize, horrified and upset. She feels no elation. It’s not Amanda or Hannah or Hilary she’s looking down at. It’s her friend, almost a mother figure, who had no chance of beating her. Why did she take this fight? A feeling of quilt sweeps over her. The referee attempts the formality of raising her right hand, but Kate shrugs him off. Nicole tells Kate it would be better if they go to the dressing room and let the doctor and Charlize’s corner do their job, but Kate says she is staying with Charlize. She watches as the doctor and the Nascar corner try to bring Charlize around. Kate grows frantic as the minutes pass. Finally, they get Charlize to her feet, but she is unsteady, can hardly walk.The referee calls for a stretcher. Neve Campbell of Theron’s Nascar corner says Theron doesn’t use a stretcher. She will walk out. Kate tells Neve that she is the biggest one in the ring so if they can help her get Charlize down out of the ring she will get the older blonde back to her dressing room. So it goes. Kates holding Charlize up, her arms under Charlize’s shoulders, takes her back to her dressing room as Charlize’s head rests on the Great ones shoulder. She helps put Charlize on the massage table. She walks out as Tess walks in. She tells Tess to come tell her how Charlize is. Twenty minutes later. Tess walks into Kate’s dressing room. The Lookout crew is celebrating, all but Kate who is quiet. Tess tells Kate they have finished the x-rays and have said it’s fine for Charlize to go home. Charlize will be fine in a day or three. It’s time to meet the press.

AFTER

Kate is in the press room. Charlize is not there

Kate “I don’t know if Charlize will be here. She’s back in her dressing room finishing being examined. When I caught Charlize with that uppercut I knew the fight was over. I felt that punch all the way down to my hamstrings. I have never hit anyone that hard before and the second punch was just icing on the cake You do things in the heat of battle that you wish you could take back. I should have never hit her with that uppercut. She was already out of it and beaten. She couldn’t stand, She was collapsing as I hit as hard as I could I should have never done that and I am going to have to apologize. I looked down at Charlize with blood running out of her mouth and I thought I had seriously hurt her. She one of my good friends. I meant to knock her out by putting her on her hands and knees, but not to seriously hurt her. You have to admire her. For someone of her age to dare fight me, even if she is the greatest of all time, which she certainly is, is crazy. You know at the end of five, despite that fifth round, she was winning the fight. This woman can still win a lot of fights in the FCBA even if father time has taken his toll. I happen to know she is booked for the rest of the year and she will be a winner. She will grace magazine covers and maybe another Academy Award, something I won’t do. Now I have won the best of three ten years after our first fight, we can just leave it there

The door opens and and Charlize walks in. She sits down and looks around at the reporters. She looks amazing despite the savage beating. Charlize “I’m sorry I am late. The medical exam and x-ray took about ten minutes. I’m fine. The only thing hurt is my pride. The rest of the time was spent with a makeup artist that Neve had brought. She was amazing. In the dressing room, I didn’t recognize me. It took her almost a half hour to cover the damage that this blonde bully did to me. That sixth round uppercut is the hardest punch I have received in twenty-three years of fighting I thought a right from Jeri Ryan many years ago was the hardest I would ever take. It couldn’t compare to what I took tonight. I’m told there was a second punch. I didn’t feel it. I was already out. It was something a good fighter does You may think you have just won the fight with a punch. but a second one always makes sure. Kate did what she had to do. Obviously. Kate was the far better woman tonight. I want to congratulate Mrs Verlander for beating the holy s—t out of me. She may think we are through. We are not. I’m going to go after her again. We will fight a fourth fight.”

Blonde Magazine. You mean after what happened tonight? You darned near had to go to the hospital and you want to fight her again? That’s crazy.

Charlize: Yes that is exactly what I mean. Like I said,I am fine, the exam and x-rays indicate no damage to anything but my pride and to Tess Valmore, Is she here? The crowd turns around looking towards the rear of the room. Tess is leaning against the wall. Charlize “Oh there she is in the back of the room, Tess If I hear anything from you about “I told you so” Kate and I will take you out back and convince you another fight is a good idea.

Kate: “Charlize, I wish you wouldn’t have said that. Challenging me publicly makes it difficult for me to refuse. It would make me look bad and you know it. You really want another fight? Blonde Magazine is right. You’re crazy. You know you can’t beat me. It’s not just me, You can't beat Father Time. He has done his job on you.

You’re going to have wake up and admit it, but If that is what you want, OK, we will fight again. Next time, I won’t prolong your agony. I will be merciful. Maybe just one round.

Charlize “So you say my friend. We will just have to see”