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19 November 2010 Post Fight McAdams vs McCarthy

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 4 months ago

Breaking news! Post fight riot! Multiple stables involved

 

Posted by FCBA Enquirer on 11/19/2010, 9:40 am, in reply to "Rachel MacAdams vs Jenny McCarthy - title bout/stable war"

 

"FCBA Enquirer - your trusted source for unsubstantiated rumor and irresponsible speculation since 1999"

BREAKING NEWS!

Reports flying in regarding the McAdams/McCarthy post fight. Following are various unedited tweets/emails as received from our ringside reporters.

"McAdams walking McCarthy ... McCarthy insensate ... apparently thinks McAdams is the referee and J-Mac assuring her she is not hurt and can still fight"

"Beckinsale on feet applauding"

"Beckinsale offering McAdams $10,000 for McCarthy bikini top"

"Gena Lee Nolin in the ring ... and here comes Foxifire en masse"

"Nolin and Nichols squaring off"

"Beth Harnois down! Beth Harnois down! Communications director trying to restore order and she is down! Unclear where punch came from ..."

"The champ get involved! McAdams looking to get at Nolin!"

"FRONT STREET IN THE RING ... FRONT STREET IN THE RING IN FORCE! Wiz giving the "go" order when Beth Harnois knocked down"

"Impossible to follow action ... near riot condition"

"Where the hell is McCarthy in this melee?"

"PALICKI IN RING - 'KID SISTER' OF SCEEJ BOXING HAS GONE BESERK! Adrianne Palicki roaring "I've had ENOUGH!!!" ... wild ... out of control ... flailing punching with multiple Foxfire and Front Street flys and bantams ... it's like watching a lioness fighting a pack of wild dogs ..."

"Where is FCBA security?!!"

(At that point, we were advised that FCBA security DID belatedly arrive. In a journalistic outrage, we received subsequent reports that cellphones, laptops and other electronic devices were being impounded from ringside observers. FCBA pointing to license on admission ticket that "FCBA will have sole control over the broadcast and reporting of these contests - including visual, audio, and other electronic medium"

"Unofficial reports that ANS has a tape ... unofficial reports that ANS has a tape ..."

 

More Scenes from the Melee

 

Posted by Archer News Service on 11/19/2010, 10:45 am

 

Archer News Service can report that some unknown person or persons have posted a collection of photos and clips from the amazing melee following the McAdams/McCarthy bout on various FCBA fan message boards in an obvious attempt to evade FCBA suppression.

As might be expected from amateurs, the photos are often blurry and the clips confused. Nevertheless some exciting images and action moments have been preserved for posterity.

1) Gena Lee Nolin with Haydebn Panettiere clutching one leg, Danielle Harris the other, whiole Sarah Carter is behind Nolin applying a full nelson.

2) Clip of Adrianne Palicki rushing to Nolin's rescue, plucking Sarah Carter off with a double underhook and throwing her like a cannonball into Mandy Moore, Laura Vandervoort, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Jennifer Garner as the four are rushing across the ring. The five of them go down in a tangle. Adrianne then bangs Hayden and Danielle Harris' heads togetherm, stunning thewm and allowing Gena Lee to kick free.

3) Beth Harnois caught arching over the top rope (tossed by Gena Lee).

 4) Front Street Girls (seen from the opposite side of the ring) swarming up onto the apron, Katy Perry and K$sha with Amanda Seyfried.Kristen Stewart, Nicole Scherzinger, Allison Mack and Grace Park can be identified in the confusion.

 

5) Gena Lee hurling Hayden and Dani Harris into the ropes like human crossbody blocks, knocking the Front Street girls off the apron onto the arena floor.

6) Adrianne Palicki and little Dani Fishel locked up in a bear hug contest. Adrianne suddenly spinning around hurling Dani into the above mentioned tangle of Garner/Moore.Winstead/Vandervoort and Carter.

7) Rachel and Jenny thrashing around on the canvas. Oh, my heavens, they've both lost their tops! (No wonder the FCBA has been trying to suppress the video of this!)

8) Oh no! Kate Beckinsale seen yelling at Rachel and Jenny calling them "disgraceful catfighters." Rache and Jenny stopp fighting each other and grab Kate. They pull her into the ring, rip her top and skirt off! Oh, this appalling!

9) Kate's Empire Boxing colleagues seen rushing toward ring, but most are intercepted by Security. However Lady Gaga hurls a cup of beer at Rachel and Jenny (though most it seems to land on Kate) before she is dragged back by Security. Sienna Miller and Zoe Saldana crawl in ring to pounce on Sarah Carter and Hayden Panetiiere.

10) Gena Lee and Adrianne seen doing a double body splash onto the Foxfire body pile. Amazing shot someone gets of Jennifer Garner tearing free of the pack (but losing most of her dress in the process). She seizes Adrianne flings her into the ropes.

11)The Front Street Girls try again only to encounter Adrianne Palicki slamming into them.
More Empire Girls reach ringside: Olga Kurylenko, Cameron Diaz, and Maria Menounos, only to have the Front Street girls land on them.

12) Adrianne picks herself up and goes to rescue the now-badly beset Gena Lee who has the Foxfire big girls plus Dani Fishel swarming over her. She slams into the group and they go in in yet another tangle.

13) Front Street girls doggedly trying again and they actually make it into the ring. Empire Boxing girls behind them. Empire girls try to get to Kate as she struggles with McAdams and McCarthy, but trying to push passed the Front Girl starts a new brawl.

14) Rachel and Jenny hurl now topless over the top ropes and actually shake hands at the joint venture! (They then realize they are topless, too and hastily try to cover up!

15) At this point FCBA Security floods the ring, forcing the opposing forces apart. Girls standing there shrieking insults and dire threats, their fine evening clothes (and in several cases undergarments) in shreds, expensive hair styles in ruins, and shoes broken or missing. Gradually the angry ladies are pushed back and order restored.

FCBA Rights & Permissions Office threatening lawsuits, but the images have gone viral.

Off the record one FCBA front office source says: "This is the best postfight brawl we've had in years! Thr public has gone crazy--uh, but that is all off the record of course. On the record the FCBA continues to deplore 'such disgraceful goings on'."

A.N.S.

 

Skip Tracey's Tip Line:

 

Posted by Archer News Service on 11/19/2010, 9:41 pm

 

Skip just got hot tip. It seems an FCBA fan at the Iowa City Airport was seated next to The Wiz ("Well, of course it was him, who else wears that pointed wizard hat?") He was cellphone talking to Rachel McAdams.

"He was congratulating her on beating Jenny McCarthy, but I couldn't figure out when said he was glad she had 'wasted' Jenny. I mean i saw that video. They were shaking hands for tossing Beckinsale out of the ring."

Skip sighed, that was true. It's just no one seemed to have a shot of what apparently happened next: Rachel sucker punching Jenny with a knee in the crotch then as she sank to her knees, getting her into a standing headscissors until Security pulled her off and poor Jenny sprawled on the canvas groaning.

No good could come of this, Skip thought.

 

A.N.S.

 

This Just In: More On Rachel & Jenny

 

Posted by Archer News Service on 11/20/2010, 9:00 am, in reply to "Re: Skip Tracey's Tip Line: "

 

(Thanks to Sceej for his contributions to the details of this piece)).



Skip Tracey of Archer News had thought he had written his last story on the McAdams/McCarthy fight, but that was before he was sent an audio recording of what was said while Rachel was taking Jenny on the post-fight walk of shame. It was sent over by Danielle Harris, Foxfire’s Assistant Communications Director with a note:

“Some people have expressed shock at our Rachel McAdams kneeing Jenny McCarthy. It so happened I had placed a transmitter on the towel I placed around Rachel’s neck hoping Foxfire fans would be able to share the walk of shame with our champion. It does that, but it also explains why Rachel did what she did at the end. I have included some pre-brawl video footage that includes some new footage showing beyond a doubt that Jenny McCarthy and Sceej Boxing started the brawl. Rachel was simply finishing it.”

In any case, when Skip played the tape together with the video of the Walk of Shame (before nervous officials inserted the “Swan Lake” recording to shield innocent eyes at home from the mayhem they correctly believed to come).

Rachel strides over to Jenny as she sits dazed on her stool. (Nearby can be seen a glowering Gena Lee Nolin and a scowling Adrianne Palicki, Jenny’s Sceej Boxing teammates, though they do not move to intervene at this point). Rachel reaches down and pulls Jenny to her feet. Jenny looks at the auburn-haired champion with glassy-eyes.

“It’s okay, ref,” she says , “don’t stop th’ fight. I’m just getting’ goin’—I’m murderin’ her—don’t stop it!”

Rachel laughed: “Too late Jenny. I knocked you silly. The fight’s over and you lost. Now come on, time for a little walk to see my fans/ Come on…come on…it’s not like you haven’t done this before…Bad girls like you have to pay…It’s an unwritten law of the FCBA.”

Rachel’s mocking words seemed to cut through the fog in Jenny’s mind. Her eyes cleared, then grew wide with the horror of realization.

“NOOOOOOOO!!!! I LOST!!!” She cried and tears began to pour down her cheeks.

“That’s right. You lost and I won, now move along,” Rachel said, she had Jenny firmly around the waist and steered her along.

At the first ringpost, Rachel halted and ordered Jenny to raise her arms: “I want the fans to see those lovely bruises I put on your ribs.”

Jenny now stopped crying and sullenly raised her arms: “I’ll get you for this!”

“You’re boring me,” Rachel said condescendingly, “now pose pretty for the camera.” (Rachel can be see leaning her chin and Jenny’s shoulder with a sweet smile of victory that contrasts nicely with Jenny’s angry, humiliated expression).

This continues as they work their way around the ring/ Then they end up opposite the announcer’s table where a grinning Kate Beckinsale sits. She stands up and calls.

“Hey, McAdams! I’ll give you $20,000 for McCarthy’s top--$30,000 if you throw in her knickers!” (The nearby crowd can be seen to laugh loudly and hoot at this lewd suggestion).

A panicked look comes to Jenny’s face and looks anxiously at Rachel. However to her relief Rachel gives Beckinsale a disdainful look.

“Don’t assume I lack as much class as you do, Beckinsdale!” Rachel calls back, her voice dripping in sarcasm.

Then Rachel resumes the walk and her verbal jabbing at McCarthy: “Poor Jenny, all your big talk before the fight and I end up making you look like a rookie in her first fight. Neve was right about you—give you a hard fight and you fold right up.”

Jenny was clenching her teeth in growing fury: “You shut up!”

Rachel did not shut up and in fact, continued to mock the blonde whose face grew increasingly red. Then the ring circuit was complete. Rachel then moved to stand in front of Jenny, facing her so that she could put her fingers under Jenny’s chin as though speaking to a naughty child.

“Let this be a lesson to you, Jenny—don’t mess with your betters.”

“Let this be a lesson to YOU!” Jenny cried, suddenly seizing Rachel by the shoulders and pulling her close. It was hard to tell what she then, but Rachel let out a wail:

“OOOOOOO!!!! MY CROTCHHHHHH!!

Jenny had driven her knee up into Rachel’s crotch! Rachel began to wrestle with McAdams. Gena Lee started forward as Rachel Nichols moved to block her, while Adrianne Palicki seemed stunned by developments. On the video, Skip could see the towel fall off Rachel’s shoulder and the crunching sound indicated someone had stepped on the transmitter, ending the transmission.

The audio had lasted long enough to clarify what had led up to the Big Brawl. It also explained why Rachel McAdams had kneed Jenny at the very end of the brawl.

“That was quite a night,” Skip said shaking his head, “I don’t either of those girls is finished with the other.”

A.N.S.
 

 

 

 

 

 

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