Katy Perry is settling in the UK, but is busy making enemies of some of the more established singers. She wants to establish herself as the best female celebrity boxer in her division, and desperately wants to take the lovely Alesha Dixon's unbeaten record from her, and has promised to give the beautiful black singer/dancer, as he has put it, "The biggest ####in' beatin' of her miserable life! I'm gonna bust the b###h up real bad soon as she has the guts to face me! Bust her up then make her kiss my sweet ass!"

Alesha has responded by dismissing the American,

"Talk's cheap! I'm too fast, too strong and waaaay too hot for that tramp! If anyone's ass is gonna get kissed it'd be mine!"
Katy is more than ready for her first fight - she'll be up against teenage starlet Diana Vickers, the willowy blonde singer who upstaged Katy in a recent performance on the TV Show, 'The X Factor'.

Diana is first into the ring - gorgeous and leggy in pale blue, she waits for Katy to enter. The American enters the ring soon afterwards, looking equally resplendent in black.

The two singers are called to the centre of the ring, where they glare at each other as the referee reminds them of the rules. As they part, Katy sneers at Diana,

"I'm gonna pulp you, b###h! Lump up that stupid ####in' face an' make you kiss my feet! Geddit?"

The blonde is visibly shaken as she returns to her corner, has her gumshield inserted, and bounces back to the centre of the ring when the bell sounds.

Round 1

The singers meet closer to Katy's corner than Diana's, the blonde wanting to show she is unfazed by the American's threat, and she throws a couple of right jabs at Katy's face, The older girl smiles, then thuds her own left jab into Diana's pretty face, rocking her head back.

Diana tries to cover up, but the tough American just wades into her, following a series of hard left jabs to the face with a ripping right hook to the guts, then another to the blonde's mouth and down she goes.
Katy stands over a stunned Diana, barking,

"Get up b###h! You gotta eat a whole lot more leather yet!"

The teenager is on her feet at 6, her face already reddened by the power of Katy's punches, and she is soon on the wrong end of another barrage of left jabs, each one smacking into her already swelling features, which are looking less pretty by the second.

Poor Diana looks to her corner as Katy thumps her again with that left, follows up with a big right to the side of her head which makes her ears ring, then another to her unprotected ribs followed with a juicy left to the blonde's nose which sends a spray of snot and blood to the canvas, quickly followed by a sobbing Diana, on her back, hurt and in trouble.
Again the aggressive Katy stands over her prone victim, snarling,

"Get up you tramp! You quit on me an' I'll beat the shit outa you in your dressing room! Get the #### up!"

The American struts back to her corner as the referee begins her count, a groggy Diana stumbling to her feet at 8, face smeared in blood and clearly unable to defend herself. Will the referee let the fight continue? She doesn't need to decide as the bell rings, Diana staggering to her stool, pursued by a sneering Katy,

"I can feel those fat lips on my toes already, b###h! You ain't gonna upstage no-one in a hurry!"

Slumped on her stool, a tearstained Diana whines,
"Why am I even in the ring with her? She's too good for me! Let her have Alesha and be done with it!"

Katy isn't even bothering to sit on her stool, as she gloats to her seconds,
"Gonna finish this b###h off now, girls! Get ready to watch this!"

The bell sounds again, and Katy turns to face the slowly rising Diana.

Round 2

Katy rams a hard left into Diana's belly, bringing a grunt from the young Brit's lips. She then flicks that solid jab into the blonde's swollen face again, then again, and the youngster is holding on to her, gasping,
"OK Katy! You made your point! Finish me off, wilya?"

The sneering American gloats,
"Ask nicely, b###h!"

Weeping, with blood dribbling from her nose, Diana meekly whispers through swollen lips,
"Please finish me off Katy - I've had enough!"

For a reply, Katy ripped a superb left into Diana's ribs again, the blonde's knees buckling before the American pushes her back, pings a smart left jab into the centre of her face, then rips a right hook across her jaw, leaving her senseless on the canvas.

Katy parades around the ring, arms aloft, a superb 2nd round knockout achieved.

After:

A battered Diana is helped back to her corner, where her assistants revive her, her face red and slightly swollen, her lips puffy and blood dribbling from her nose. Katy soon appears before her, catches hold of her by the hair and drags her to the centre of the ring. Kneeling, the beaten blonde kisses the older girl's feet, licking and sucking her toes, until the American tires of her.

Later in Diana's dressing room, her friend Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud sympathises,
"That Perry needs to be taught a lesson - I'm not stupid I know I'm too small, but she needs a good slapping for what she did tonight.."

Her friend, Sarah Harding mumbles,
"Damn right! I'll take her!"