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18 April 2008 Lindsay Lohan vs Naomi Watts

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

 

 

Posted by simguy on 4/18/2008, 7:59 pm.


Before: "This is a fight I've wanted for a long time," says Naomi in prefight, "and a fight I SHOULD have had for the asking with TU. Lindsay is clearly a hurdle I need to leap en route to the title. I've heard her nonsense-chatter about me being another Sienna Miller: if that's what Lohan's training for, she's going to be very surprised indeed when I punch her to sleep!" Lindsay upbeat at the podium - feisty and combative. "I was talking more about Watts' attitude when I made the Miller reference," Lohan clarifies. "I wasn't talking about the stringy, undernourished physiques, ratty blonde hair, or delicate chins - although now that I mention it, I guess there ARE plenty of similarities. Seriously though, I'm glad Naomi's making the rounds - she's a big name and a well preserved 40 year old who doesn't have the miles on her she should. I'll fix that!" Naomi in simple beige bra and crisp white panties; small white MMA gloves; shoulder-length tangles. Lindsay in jaunty nautical bikini - navy top with big brass ring connection between jug - white bottoms with navy blue diagonal bars/pale blue anchors; small white MMA gloves; long blonde hair drawn back in a pretty crown braid.

During R1: First minute - Lohan the aggressor, coming forward behind a spicy jab. Watts leggy - hopping the perimeter, keeping her distance. Everything changes 60 seconds in: Watts timing her girl stops loping around, plants, leans in, stuns Lohan a sweeping overhand right to chin, clouting Linds as she's walking in. Lohan's legs give a shimmy - she's all lit up: Watts quick-shifts her feet, swiping a hook to Lohan's chin, then chopping a sidearm right to chin, jerking Lindsay's head to-and-fro. Lohan sputtering - stumbling forward: Naomi sidesteps to her left, steering Lohan with a left jab in Lindsay's right ear, guiding lanky flyweight face-first to ropes. Watts pours in: MMA-mitt patter of leather on taut meat as Naomi lowers shoulders, digs at Lindsay's distressed paunch. Lohan groaning in shock - reaching weak for Naomi's shoulders: Aussie staying compact, staying busy, chops her way up-torso, finally erupting to Lohan's breasts with a great thrashing burst of lefts and rights. Lohan blurtiing out in pain - knees giving way - she sits into ropes rather than going all the way down. Watts: teeth bared, eyes feral as she jams a jagged left uppercut to Lohan's sternum, gouging it in vicious - Naomi's weight over her lead (left) leg as she commits 100% on the shot. All Watts to the bell: she pastes at Lohan's face and breasts - occasionally stooping to hustle flyweight hup-hup to Lindsay's beleaguered abs. Bell: Lohan making whimpering glug-glug noises from the tremendous, slender-limbed beating. Watts shiny with sweat, beaming happily: she chests up on Lohan, shouting incoherently in her face until ref pulls her off. 10-8 round without the knockdown - Lohan blubbering in stupor on her stool.

R2: Good Lohan recovery coupled with a slightly spent Watts leads to Lilo stabilizing her front. Stiff jab denies Naomi - keeping the action arm's length. Girls trade right crosses: Lilo's lands, scorching Naomi's chin: MMA mitt transmitting shock direct to blonde knees. Watts losing the early crisp exchanges elects to step out and circle - she's very leggy, very wary - scowling as she lopes the ring. Lindsay unable to bring decisive battle, but she gets the chance to find her legs while Watts stays away.

R3: Watts still leggy - hopping and stepping to the sides, then curling in to the attack. Both girls jabbing frisky - double and triple sticks punching into chests, mouths, brows, cheeks: accurate, stiff left hands starting to shine up offending faces. Girls rotating clockwise, gradually getting closer as round progresses: Watts able to rip several jagged left uppercuts to Lindsay's sternum, putting a grimace of complaint on Lilo's face. LInds falling off the pace after Naomi establishes to the body - final stages sees Aussie once again pushing the pace, lathering American flanks as Lilo covers up, tilts forward behind her mitts. Savage tic-toc of Naomi's fists beating on Lohan's torso at the bell: Lindsay's paralyzed.

R4: Is Lilo hurt? Lindsay frowning cranky off her stool - shuffling to her right: Naomi quickly atop her with spitting left jabs, poking Lohan to ropes. Linds dukes up at temples, standing on the apron: Naomi in wide, springy stance - darting in to stitch left jabs to tummy, then bounding back out of range. Naomi darts in with jabs to breasts and guard, pinning Lohan down, then hacking at her left ear with buggywhip rights designed to get round the defences. Lindsay gritting her teeth - rarely punching back - just keeping that earmuff in place. More gouging body blows for Lilo as Naomi graduates from hit-and-run jabbing to more purposeful left hooks and uppercuts. Right uppercut bounces off Lohan's overhanging forehead, neatly splitting her mitts as Naomi curls it in tight. Right hands begin to slash at Lohan's tummy - Naomi swinging 'em sidearm, buggywhipping home small-glove hurt. Finally, Linds throws a hard hook: missing as Watts leans out of range. Lilo hurls a right hand, missing as Watts slips in underneath. Watts out of the crouch with a lanky, whipping hook HUGE to Lohan's jaw: Linds takes the shot, but slouches hurt against ropes, hands drooping. Naomi brightening, seeing Lilo's loosened posture: Aussie leans in lanky, pulling a pair of buggy-whip right hands in above Lohan's left hip with vicious thump. Lohan cringing, stooping forward: WATT'S POURS PUNCHES TO LINDSAY'S KIDNEYS! Oh the drumming thump of this kidney-wash - Watts baring her teeth, swabbing both hands back and forth across Lohan's tight lower back and LINDSAY GOES DOWN! Lohan sobbing in outrage - ref pushing Watts back and shouting "Stay off her back, Naomi!" Savage back-licking one of the worst on record - poor Lohan in agony - on her knees as she paws her right hand up into the ropes. Linds trying to stand, snivelling on her knees - SHE CAN'T BEAT THE COUNT! Watts yelping with pleasure in the neutral corner, hugging herself and squealing: KO4 Naomi Watts.

After: Lohan very gingerly up, teeth grinding together as she grimaces in pain, left hand at her back as she's guided slowly to her corner. Tough night for Linds - pundits speculating whether the mgmt turmoil proved a distraction for the notoriously distractible beauty. Torrid Naomi Watts punching fair and foul simply overwhelming the wiry young vixen AND NAOMI WANTS MORE! Watts intercepting Lohan before Linds can make it to port: NAOMI'S TAKING LILO FOR A WALK! Lohan blinking back tears, unable to walk quickly, clutching at her throbbing back. Watts beaming - right arm around Lilo's shoulders to hold her close - left hand up and waving regal: Naomi doing everything she can to get noticed, even if it means treating Lilo very shabby indeed.

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