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23 October 2010 Catherine Bell vs Cameron Diaz

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 5 months ago

Saturday Night Special

 

 

 Posted by for simguy on 10/23/2010, 7:08 am

 

 (Result: simguy/Words: simgrrl)

Before: No denying the inter-stable hard feelings between Empire and Academy in the wake of so many bitter battles: Cruz-England (the infamous 'low blow bout'); Swanepoel-Kurylenko (the 'upset of the year'?); Swanepoel-Menounos (1&2); Swanepoel-Miller; Keibler-Bell (the 'humiliation'); Keibler-Bell (the 'beatdown') and all the yapping, barking and 8itching that followed just about every one of those fights! Then, there's also that Keibler, Heigl, Kurylenko and Pressly were all in the KruZherZ with Theron and Bell...and each feels for her own reasons (fairly or not) that Charlize and Cat were responsible for holding them back or not supporting them as they should or causing the eventual collapse of the stable. Ask any one of the ex-KruZherZ and you'll likely get a different reason, but they're unanimous in feeling abandoned and betrayed by two women who've "stuck together" - while the rest got cut loose to fend for themselves. Naturally, the previous fights between the two stables only added fuel to an already hot fire!

The Academy's 'Assistant Trainer' Cat Bell challenging 'The Evil Empire' Head Trainer Monica Bellucci and two old war horses saddled up and charged into the fray carrying the banner of their respective stables! The result couldn't have been worse for Empire Boxing! Bell destroyed Bellucci in less than three minutes, then took out the collective frustration of The Academy on her. Of course, rather than ending a burgeoning feud, it only made things worse! Tonight, Cameron Diaz will be the latest 'Empress' to try to bring one of the Academy women to heel!

Diaz back from a long hiatus after three years away to "...rest and revitalize," she says. "I'm back fresher than ever, with a renewed sense of purpose. There isn't a women in the lightweight ranks I can't beat, so I thought I'd give it one more whirl. I wouldn't be wasting my time taking on a big load like Bell if she hadn't disrespected Monica the way she did. I figured there's no harm in kicking a fat old brunette butt as a tune-up for Strahovski or whoever's next."

At 38 y/o, Diaz hit the scales at the weigh-in not a penny's-weight above 125, confidently giving away more than 10 pounds to the 'Big Cat' as someone once referred to the former lightweight champ - a woman Diaz describes as a "full blown welter" - her words, not mine! "If I'm going to beat the Fat Cat, it'll be with my legs; not my tummy," huffs the indignant greyhound when asked if she's 'giving away too much weight'. "I'm in this for the long haul...and speaking of 'haul' look at how much more she's gonna be hauling around the ring! It's like she's carrying a picnic basket on each hip. It's sad. I can remember - back in the day - when Bell was a legit top lightweight. Now, if the old gal puts on a couple more pounds they'll have to create a new division for her and the other whales."
* * * *
Meeting at center ring for instructions: Newly minted HOFer Bell all cool, calm, unruffled while Diaz looks as tightly wound as a Swiss watch; like she's ready to explode at the slightest provocation. Referee finishes his speech, girls reach to shake hands when DIAZ GRABS BELL by the head, leans in and kisses the shocked brunette on the lips. Bell wriggling, squirming, trying to pull away but Cammie's got a hand behind her head and Bell can't figure out which way to turn. Referee finally pries them apart - using a generous handful of both Bell and Diaz's bounty! Diaz fairly skipping back to her corner to be greeted by whoops and hollers from her stablemates and a slap on the butt from Bellucci. Bell stumbles in shock to her corner where she's grabbed by 'good friend' Charlize Theron who demands, "WHAT was that?" Bell shaking her head, wiping her mouth with the back of her glove; stunned to get an unexpected dose of 'Latina Heat' from Diaz.

Bell in her baby blue Academy bikini and matching trainers. Diaz in the scarlet bikini from 'Knight & Day'; long blonde hair pulled into a French Twist do. Small red gloves for both women.

During R1: Cirque Du Diaz! Cat sleepwalking out of her corner, slow getting her gloves up, takes a lead right open handed SLAP from Diaz - just to show her she can do whatever she wants! Cat pumping her jab and missing. Cam's on her bicycle early, slipping the jab; avoiding direct confrontation; slipping in to pepper Cat then scoot before her return. Cat edging forward, tentative behind the jab. Diaz in charge using her gorgeous, wiry, legs; never in one spot long enough for Cat to set and throw. Diaz a blur of non-stop motion; jumping in to hammer Bell's belly, slip-slidin' away to sling buggywhip right hands in above Cat's right hip. If Cat throws just about any kind of punch, Diaz lights her up with flurries to the body and - insolent blonde that she is - slapping open handed to Cat's bulging bikini top; smacking puppies like a blond Cruella DeVille! Bell: Stone comes out to grab Bell's elbow and drag her back to her stool for a talking to! Having to shout advice to be heard over the roar of the crowd; in Cat's face. Charlize already busy icing down Cat's roughed up rack!

R2: Cirque Du Diaz II. Cam's legs dictating the fight this round. Cat stubbornly coming forward, Cam circling away, rotating, reversing, never letting Bell settle into any kind of rhythm; continually wrong-footing the big brunette so that when she does punch, Cat's got nothing behind it - not that she's landing much anyway! Diaz brazen: hands at her hips when she's not engaging; depending on her legs and her bendy torso-tilting to keep her head out of harm's way...and it's working like a charm! Midway, Cam turns up the heat. Diaz turning Bell, then sliding in to rip into her body; Cam's ham-handed punching slamming Cat's ribs, belly and - of course - those heaving juggs. Diaz taking Cat's breath with a two fisted, to-the-rack attack the likes of which the FCBA rarely sees. Cam stepping in to whack waist, sticking uppercuts in the undersides of Cat's overhanging hooters. Bell slowing as her proud bosom takes a lathering like it hasn't experienced in many years. Again, between rounds, Stone shaking Cat's shoulders; trying to get her to adjust. Theron giving attention to Bell's battered bosom.

R3: "Belling The Cat." Cameron Diaz basically a sharp-shooting, head-hunter this round. With Bell being brought under control, Diaz turns on the jets. Still using her wonderful legs, Cam circling, peppering Cat's body with both hands; still using her supple body rather than her hands for defense - leaving both fists available to punch with! If Cat comes forward trying to punch, Cam viciously counters to the face and, again and again, her prominent jugs! Cat's face lumping up and late in the round when a three punch combination opens a small cut over her left eye! Between rounds, Theron forced to ignore Cat's ravaged rack, giving her attention to the cut while Stone plots a change of strategy.

R4: "Turning Up The Latina Heat!" Another shutout for Diaz. Cam easily slips inside Bell's jab, hooks her ribs, hooks her chin. Diaz leans back and Cat misses with a sweeping right, then Cam right back in again to pound an uppercut that sends Cat stutter-stepping back in wide-eyed hurt. Bell, back-on-ropes; Cam pouncing; hammering hard to the belly with both hands; uppercutting her badly jostled juggs; digging with both fists hard to the flanks/ribs. Cam taking what she wants from Cat Bell like a schoolyard bully taking some poor kid's lunch money! Diaz pot-shotting Cat's drowsy face, then with Bell earmuffing, Diaz draws hoots of derision from her corner as she '8itch slaps' Bell's heaving breasts with her open hand - forehand, backhand! Bell tearing up as much in frustration as pain, crouching with her brunette butt jammed deep in the strands as Diaz stands off and snipes from long range; buffeting Bell's head to the bell. Diaz back to her corner arms raised to a joyous celebration from her stablemates and a grateful hug from a delighted Monica Bellucci. Stone stone faced as Bell's bottom slaps down on her stool; brunette's shoulders hunched forward in an attitude of defeat. Charlize pulling back on Cat's shoulders, leaning around to apply enswell on her left eyebrow. Stone kneeling between Cat's knees, arms on her thighs, hands holding Cat's hips; looking up into Cat's face, talking calmly. Cat shaking her head 'no' in reply to something.

R5: Still More Cirque Du Diaz!! Cam back up on her toes; dancing; darting, circling Cat like a hungry lioness with a wounded gazelle. Diaz peppering Cat's body with mean intentions; just lavishing on the hurt with no real plan for ending Cat's night short of forcing the proud brunette to say 'no mas' and Diaz knows Bell will never do that, so the hurt goes on! Diaz easily eluding every attempt by Bell to land a punch and as the round comes to a close the crowd is murmuring as the realization begins to sink in. It's been fifteen minutes and legendary Hall of Fame brunette Cat Bell has yet to land a single telling blow in anger! Five straight shutout innings for Cameron Diaz who's having the time of her life - as is her Trainer Monica Bellucci who's overheard in the corner telling Cam, "No, not yet. Punish her some more first."

 

 Saturday Night Special:  Bell vs.  Diaz (conc)

 

Posted by for simguy on 10/23/2010, 7:15 am

 


R6: "Another Shutout." Cam bouncy, upbeat, cocky; bounding out of her corner, catching Cat two steps from her stool and lighting her up again! Diaz steering Cat around the ring, turning her at will, punching her up one side and down the other. Midway, Diaz catches Bell leaning the wrong way and rocks her with a short left hook flush! Cat staggered, stumbles back to the turnbuckle in Diaz' corner, right above where Monica Bellucci is watching with a near rapturous expression as Cam pounds her fists into Bell's abs, slowly breaking her brunette down. Cat battered, finally has to take a knee to get a moment of respite. She's right in front of the Empire 'bimbos' and they're letting her have it with both barrels! "GET UP AND FIGHT!" Diaz sauntering away, content to let Bell have her break just so she can beat her some more. Sixth consecutive shutout for Diaz who 'escorts' Bell back to her corner at the end of the round with a hand on her butt, then says something to Theron that makes the 'Golden Goddess' jump onto the ring apron and point at Cam, saying something unintelligible over the roar of the crowd. Diaz just grins and walks away with an insolent shake of her hips.

R7: "Gettin' Leggy Wit It." Diaz' territorial dominance continues as her legs dictate for another round. It's clear now that Diaz isn't interested in knocking Bell out - she wants to humiliate her, probably as payback for what Bell did to Bellucci in her previous fight. Late in the round, Bell finally shows some offense, her jab starting to find Diaz' chest, helping to fix her position somewhat. Final minute, Cat lands her first big punch of the fight, a right hand that knocks Diaz back a step, but she comes right back to shoeshine Bell's bosom again. Cat's rack taking on a bright red glow after seven rounds of unwelcome attention from a blonde not named Charlize! Theron icing Cat's breasts between rounds; Stone worrying with the cut over Cat's left eye which Diaz has scrupulously avoided so there's no risk of having the fight stopped. She wants Bell to continue to suffer!

R8: "Cam and the EZ Pass." An eighth straight shutout round for Diaz! Cat lurching forward, crouching; shoulders hunched; left arm across her face, right cocked but not throwing it much; trying to duck and cover. Cam Diaz' nimble feet constantly put her in position; quick hands deliver the blows! Cam not sitting down on her punches, content to swat, poke, chip and clouting only when/if necessary. A couple of times Bell manages to clinch, but Diaz puts her head under Bell's chin, backs her hips up and pulls uppercuts up to the undersides of Cat's abused breasts. Bell bleating in pain; tearing up as the constant pressure on her pride-and-joys mounts up through an eighth straight shutout round! And there's no end in sight! Theron arguing with Stone in the corner, shaking a towel at Stone who defers to Bell with a shrug. Bell resolutely and adamantly will NOT let her girlfriend toss in the towel - not to a blonde and certainly not to Cameron Freakin Diaz!

R9: "The Empire Strikes Back!" Bell gets her jab back into Cam's upper chest again, finally jarring Diaz out of her rhythm. Cat's harmless looking hook shocks Diaz and a follow-on right rocks her. DIAZ IS HURT! Bell slams Diaz back onto the ropes and drives her into a corner. Unable to use her legs to escape, Diaz is rocked again and forced to peel away to regroup: Cat pursues her quickly; swinging heavy rights to the ribcage beating Diaz back to the ropes where she's able to pile on at last; getting big on her blonde. Cat's brutal shove-and-slug attack quickly takes Cam's breath away and DIAZ BLUDGEONED TO ALL FOURS! Crowd screaming in shock, surprise and disbelief at the stunning turnaround! Nothing fancy for Cat Bell, just a Hall of Fame fighter showing why she's in there. Diaz up and shaky at eight, backing away but in her wounded state, Cat catches up and lands two more solid punches before the bell. Cat Bell is on the board, but she's running out of time! In the Empire corner, chaos! In the Academy corner, renewed confidence. All it's going to take is one more big punch and everything will end as it should!

R10: "Oh The Humanity!" Diaz hurt, spooked off her stool. Cam 'knew' she had the fight won; all it was going to take was a few more minutes of 'dancing' and then crack open the Champagne. Now, suddenly things don't look so rosy after all! Cam spends the first minute scampering, but Cat's got hope and the adrenaline is flowing. Cat's thumping jab rocks the blonde and a right sends her reeling into the ropes. Cat on her like a cheap suit, putting her big body on the blonde; thudding away with heavy-handed hard-heartedness. This is Cat Bell at her ham-handed, vengeful, best - distributing a beatdown to a wounded blonde! Diaz no longer supple, now she's 'rubbery' in the pocket; hunching; face-in-gloves; rolling her torso but now instead of the punches just missing, she's getting ragdolled! DIAZ IS DOWN! GOOD LORD, DIAZ GOES DOWN AGAIN!! Diaz sprawling on her back, Bell tripping over her and flopping chest first into the ropes above her. Cat steps over Diaz' prostrate body on her way to a neutral corner as the clock ticks down. Diaz up, wobbly, at nine; referee wiping her gloves; Cat eager to finish. Cam just game enough to run out the final few seconds; barely surviving. Cameron Diaz' huge early lead holds up as she survives to ring up a UD10.

After: Bell’s superior conditioning starting to show late in the fight as she begins to reel in Diaz, but her huge early lead proves to be too much to overcome. If the fight had gone 15 or 20 rounds Bell would likely have won going away, but Cam’s nimble feet and quick hands proved to be too much for the ‘Big Cat’ on this occasion.

Diaz quickly strips off her gloves and smugly saunters over to The Academy corner where Cat is slumped on her stool; bruised bosom heaving; red belly pumping rapidly; struggling to catch her breath. Cat looks up just as Cam grabs a fistful of her short hair and tries to pull her to her feet. Cat shakes her head, grabs the ropes on either side and resists. Stone and Theron, still outside the ropes are caught by surprise by Diaz' sudden appearance. Since Cat is being stubborn, Diaz releases her hair and grabs Cat's battered breasts! Closing her fists with crushing power, Cam jerks the wide-eyed, shocked-silent-with-pain, Cat to her feet, almost pulling off her bikini top in the process! Cam swings Cat around and when Cat raises her still-gloved hands to break her hold, Diaz slams her fist deep into Cat's black and blue belly. The busty brunette folds over clutching her tummy and Cam shoves Cat over onto her back where she lays with her knees drawn up protectively.

Diaz grabs Cat's ankles and starts to drag her on her back across the ring to the Empire corner but by then Theron and Stone have hiked up their skirts and clambered through the ropes - followed by Swanepoel, Cruz and Witherspoon all leaping up from their ringside seats!

Keibler, Heigl, Kurylenko, Menounos, Miller, England, Pressly, Beckinsale and most of the 'Evil Empire' climb the steps to back Diaz' play. It looks like another ugly scene is about to play out and the fans, at first aghast, now rise cheering the prospect of not only more mindless violence, but the appearance of so many beautiful women attired - many of them at least - in low-cut tops, mini skirts, and sheer blouses. That the violence could result in partial, if not complete, nudity of those same women seems to please almost all the fans - with the women in the crowd being the most vocal in calling for it!

Sadly for the paying customers, and those watching in the privacy of their 'man cave', FCBA security is uncharacteristically prompt in responding - no doubt spurred by the recent scathing media criticism of the "antics of certain performers indulging in gratituous, post-fight, sexually charged hi-jinx" as one old fuddy-duddy described what most saw as no more than some good-natured bondage and domination engaged in by a few young, well-endowed, females eager to put their 'talent' on display - perhaps hoping to further their career by letting movie and TV execs see they're willing to go the extra mile in pursuit of fame and fortune.
 

 

 

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