Posted by Simguy on 1/13/2006, 7:03 am.

Before: Ripple effect from Theron/Bell--hostilities running higher than one would have expected for Burton/Simpson, with a lot of "Our flagship sank your flagship" taunting from the TE side, "I haven't been at TE that long," explains hilarie in prefight, "but you can tell that when a Krusher fight comes up, there's a special electricity in the gym. Cat set the tone for the new year and I want to continue it: total subjugation of Krusher fighter, whomever they might be. Runt-girl Simpson's going to catch a beating, and if I have my way? She'll be sleeping it off Charlize Style!" Simpsy hot-cheeked, constantly restrained and becalmed--all Krushers on edge these days and circling their wagins. "We've got targets on our backs," Jessica says at the podium, "because we're the best. When Charlize stumbles, the rest of us have to step up--we can't let girls like Casta and Cat control the FCBA. I'm nipping this TE uprising in the bud--WITH THESE (holds up bunched fists, nostrils flairing: she's so cute when she's fiesty!) Heartpounding Dukes pink bikini, Jessica--white gloves: black push up, red/black plais tartan bikini bottoms, Burton--red gloves.

During R1: Burton snarling, swishing one-twos, but Jessica crouching very low--head below Burton's waist--Hilarie's punches miss over the top. Simpsy waiting for Hills to miss, then jumping out of crouch--she's labeling Burton clean walloping lefts and rights on the chin as taller girl backs straight up. Pattern throughout the round: Burton sloppy, impatient, missing as Jess ducks deep; Simpson stepping forward and putting her all into chin checks as Burton backs straight up, catching clock.

R2: Is Burton wobbly-butt? Hard to tell, but Hilarie spraying punches, not sharp, not accurate and when she's done, she's stepping back, hands low as Simpson steps-with, leaves her feet to clang away upstairs, Jessica kinetic, jiggly--crouching low, moving her head, jumping punches at Burton--Hilarie's head outinely swivelling from hard Simpson contact, Burton staring shiny-eyed in response, Syren screaming for uppercuts, but Hilaroie a little too shabby to execute--midway point sees her knees give way, legs breaking down as she stumbles back from Simpson presssure, trying to create distance, Jessica LEAPING at chin, and getting there--zesty swinging rights and sweeping lefts out of deep crouches--Burton backing up when she should be ducking inside the arc of Simpsy's slugging. RIGHT HAND JESS SIMPSON! Burton;s head smashed hard to starboard--she turns 90 degrees to her right and TAKES A KNEE AT THE ROPES! Hills lips parted, she shakes her curly head, right hand in the ropes for support and JESSICA LABELS HER EXTRA! Tawdry, short right hands--Jess snarling as she stands off Burton's ;left side and smokes the downed blonde righty on the temple--Simps left hand dangling at her thigh as she pounds away until the ref tackles her off. Burton stunned, badly boggled--she struggles up the ropes with just under a minute left. Wonky 8, then HERE COMES JESSICA! Simpson hurtling in, butting Burton square in the breasts, sprawling her upright and PASTING HILARIE'S FACE LEFT/RIGHT! Simpsy a-jiggle as she squirms to haul wallop onto Burton;s chin--Hilarie staring into it, sagging into the ropes and THE REF STEPS IN! Burton out on her feet--Simpson exultant: TKO2 in shocking fashion, Jessica Simpson.

After: Unlikely avenger Jessica Simpson steps up to defend Krusher honour big time--upsetting her taller, rangier foe with explosive power out of the crouch. Burton never out of the blocks oin this one., poorly organized at the start, tactically inept in trying to back away from Simpson's headlong pursuit: relentless chinchecking excuses classy ingenue in devastating fashion. AND SIMPSY WANTS MORE! Poor Hilarie shaking like a new-born fawn at the ropes when de-gloved Simpson hugs her up and walks her to the Krusher corner. Simpsy with her back to turnbuckle, steps up onto the bottom rope to get some height and lovingly draws Hilarie's pouting face air-tight to heaving Krusher bosom! Simpson nodding aggressively, beaming as rounded arms fold Burton in snug--Hilarie paying the price for Cats indulgence on Theron. Jessica loving it,k stubby fingers entwined in Burton's damp, golden locks; crossed-arm grip showing off Jessi's tanned biceps and brawny shoulders as she squeeeeeezes poor Hills. Hilaroie reaching in past Jess to grab at corner ropes, weight on right hip., left foor stepped forward as she leans into Simpsy's hulking breasts. Crowd hooting "J-M-D! J-M-D!" as Burton gradually sinks down to her right knee--Jessica releasing with a flourish, grinning and nodding, arms outstretched. Simpsy up on the ropes, glorying in the triumph: poor Hilarie on her knees, face clammy, wet and pale, eyelashes fluttering in stupor.

Reposted by Archer 5/31/10.