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13 Janaury 2011 Lacey Chabert vs Brenda Song

Page history last edited by Dradis 12 years ago

Lacey Chabert 2.jpg

Posted by simguy on 1/13/2011, 10:13 am

 

BEFORE: "The problem with Hudgens, Panettiere, Chabert, and girls like that, is that they are failed starlets," Song explains to press-corps as though lecturing to special-needs students. "They advance in the ring, while their careers die on the screen, making them less and less relevant as time goes on. I could sidestep Lacey - I'm prettier, and I'm a real actress who works in real movies: I chose to fight her only because her in-ring credentials are so high. What these girls fail to realize is that on-screen accomplishment and in-ring achievement feed into each other - a one-note wonder like Lacey Chabert is never a threat to a superstarlet like Brenda Song, who can pick and choose as she likes. Crushing Lacey brings my fighting rep in line with my screen career, and puts that much more distance between me - the star of The Social Network - and the rest of the pack!"

 

Lacey rolling her eyes: she hasn't heard this much crap since Jessica Simpson proclaimed herself "Nature's Perfect Fighting Machine". "Sorry guys," Lacey explains at podium, "I nodded off there, while Brenda was nattering. Whatever - here's the gist: she's good; I'm better; I'll smother her, break her down, stop her at the ropes. Any questions? Sweet - I'm outta here."

 

Lacey in white push up and panties; dark hair straight; white gloves. Brenda in black lace bra; leopard print bikini bottoms; black gloves; black hair loose/tangly.

During R1: Lacey dukes up, compact, looking to close and rumble. Brenda bopping 'round, hands dangling at her sides when she's out of range - she's very relaxed, nimble, using her legs to turn and exploit Lacey. Sporadic, batting stuff as Lacey's issuing flurries when Bren's in range; Song trying to dart in and fit Chabert for power-leads. All even until late... Song feinting Lacey into crouch, walking Chabert onto a Lucy-Liu vintage right uppercut from the knees: Lacey's legs give a spasm - she's wobbly butt! Brenda surprisingly cool - shaving a right cross along the front of Lacey's guard to screen - leaning in on front (left) leg to park two thumping, thick left hooks in behind Chabert's right elbow. Lacey's knees bennnnd by don't touch down: Song showing compact, springy power to former champ in the first.

R2: More circular footwork from Brenda - hands dangling when she's well outside: when she's within range, Bren lifts her mitts, but relies on bendy-waisted head movement to slip rather than block. Chabert shaking off the hurt, hooking for Brenda's ribcage, trying to jam tidy right hands over Bren's left shoulder... tense cat-and-mouse develops as fight traverses the ring. Brenda bobbing in close to put left shoulder into Lacey's tits, then turning her counter-clockwise before disengaging: smooth moves granting Brenda initiative in the exchanges.

R3: It's official: Lacey's having trouble with Brenda's footwork. Song in, out, and around at will - curvy brown legs encircling Lacey, keeping her defensive. Chabert's attempts to slug her way into the lead generally diffused by Song's clever tactical retreats, or crowded by Song's step-in-and-steer shoulder maneuvers. Meanwhile, Song parking tuff left hooks in snug behind Lacey's right elbow; walking Chabert onto right uppercuts to stomach or tits; flurrying Lacey, clouting her off balance with either hand in rapid-fire combination. Chabert taking it well, advancing throughout, but unable to impose will through 3.

R4: Lacey stubby-jabs to Brenda's chest, disrupting Song's tempo: Chabert able to hound Song to ropes early. Brenda bendy in the pocket - rolling torso; leaning back into ropes; twisting shoulders side to side... sleek defensive looks helping to minimize punishment. Lacey patient, smart - not wasting too many shots at Song's elusive head, focussing on the hips/lats/midsection with strong, chugging punches. Lacey also applying liberal doses of body - pancaking Brenda into ropes, stuffing her escape-attempts - even grabbing the ropes behind Brenda to trap her (despite shouted ref's warnings!) Chabert controls Brenda, punishes her, stabilizes the front through 4.

R5: Lacey able to muscle Brenda to ropes, lay siege once again: furious toe-to-toe flyweight rumbling at it's best. Song: scowling pretty; bobbing at the waist; clouting Lacey counter right uppercuts/counter left hooks while twisting and turning in the pocket. Lacey: bashing at Song's closed stance with either fist; pushing or bodying Song flat, the better to get at shiny abs, or frisky tits. Lacey's steady bombardment punctuated by Song's swift, sudden counters - spicy stuff both ways as each girl takes licks. Chabert dominant: she doesn't reduce the pocket, but she on top bell to bell, working constantly, getting the better of Brenda in the trenches.

R6: Brenda re-establishes air-superiority midring - circling, feinting, dangling her hands at sides, tempting Lacey to punch. Chabert reaching, getting overextended: Song chopping and clouting right/lefts in tart combinations. Song executing pretty lead right hands - snarling as she pounds at Lacey's prepared defences, then sliding to the right while trailing the calling-card hook across Lacey's hulking rack. Crowd chanting "POUND-HER-JUGS! POUND-HER-JUGS!" - Song obliging with pasting right hands to rack - often off an extended left rangefinder. Down the stretch, bewildering combination of punching and movement has Lacey wobbling: Chabert grimacing, getting touched up and punished behind a still-sturdy guard.

Cheeky Song takes a cell phone call on her stool - cutman holding the phone to her ear: "I'm fighting! Lacey... Lacey Chabert. You know... that girl in Mean Girls. Mean Girls. It was a movie. I'm kicking her buns. I SAID I'M KICKING HER BUNS! No, she's not tuff. I don't know... she's slow and stupid. OK - gotta go: bell's ringing!"

R7: Song weight on back (right) foot, sliding to her right, backhanding out nuisance jabs as Lacey's turning-with. Chabert pawing exploratory jabs as well - both girls looking for right hands. Minute mark - both commit: Song beats Lacey to the punch via crashing right upside the head - Bren bending torso-left on follow through as Lacey's right sails high. DOWN GOES CHABERT! Lacey's legs lock, her hands dropping to her thighs... she pitches shoulder-first into canvas, rolling onto her chest as Brenda skips away. Chabert shuddering, all but out: championship pride gets her off her tits and up at the count of 9.8. Lacey reeling, blinking, but demanding ref let it go: Brenda bobs on in all grins and dimples, looking to party. Lacey hurt, dug-in butt-in-ropes; stooping forward in earmuff: Brenda systematically goes at her foe, working Lacey over. Buggywhip right hands lash across Lacey's back, or take her loud in right hip. Shruggachug left uppercuts work the overhanging rack, often setting up tuff left hooks fit snug behind right elbow. Pushing Lacey upright, Brenda gets off criss-cross straight left/rights, pasting away face and jugs until Lacey can reorganize earmuff, stooping forward to give up her back once again. Lacey's legs, heart answer the call: Brenda lathers away, can't get Lacey to quit through 7.

R8: Lacey strong off the knockdown - shooting in on Brenda's waist, leg-driving her ropeside. Classic secure-the-body/issue beatdown work from Lacey as she bodies up, smothers, then gets to pounding. Brenda gritting her teeth, sniping back single-shot right uppercuts or left hooks as she's bending/rolling. Chabert too strong once she's in position, outworking Brenda in the pocket through 8.

R9: Same again for Lacey: quickly hounding Brenda to ropes, reducing her to a fighting torso off the apron. Chabert repeatedly warned for smothering and bodying: she's very rough with Song here - bumping and mauling while tucking in punches out of the grasp. Bren huffing and puffing, squirming tummy to tummy against her tormentress. Asian girl wriggly, but not strong enough to get out from under once Lacey's got her boxed in.

R10: Song operating midring - slidestepping to her right - reaching in to palm-up/push off, or wedging her shoulder into Lacey to turn-and-bump. Chabert constantly off balance, checking her feet: Brenda continues to nibble-and-vex - placing tuff left hooks/right uppercuts/lead rights/buggywhip rights with potshot rhythm. Down the stretch, Song punctuates a shutout tenth with a rousing, crowd-pleasing shoeshine-lathering of Lacey's heaving rack: Bren just a-swabbing side to side at the bell. Comes back UD10 solid, Brenda Song.

After: Song being "pretty movie-star" in postfight, waving to photogs, issuing hugs, blowing kisses. Camera pans stone-faced flyweights in the audience, none of whom are all that happy at the thought of a rejuvenated Brenda Song. "I just had too much class for Lacey Chabert tonight," Brenda says in postfight, looking up at the interviewer. "Tummy to tummy, I was hurting and discouraging her... then when she backed off, I took it to her in space. Basically, there's no flyweight out there who can move-and-punch with me, so I'm pretty much the best. I just gotta get some of these losers into the ring so I can wear 'em out!"

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