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6 September 2006 Neve Campbell vs Elisha Cuthbert

Page history last edited by Archer844 9 years, 7 months ago

Neve Campbell 01.jpgElisha Cuthbert 12.jpg



Posted by Simguy on 9/8/2006, 9:39 pm.

Before: What th’? Jessica Alba sparring and offering tactical support to Elisha Cuthbert? Jess lending her considerable expertise to fiery ingénue…and maybe a little extra as Elisha strikes an eerily familiar tone at the podium. “I’m not worried about Neve at all,” Cuthbert says, “She can’t hold me back any longer--it’s over for her. I’m more concerned that when Rachel beats the pants off Dani, that I’m going to get a shot at McAdams for the belts. I’ve supported Rache throughout all this dream with Neve--I’ve had McAdams’ back--but I want my due. The Mountees are more than a one-woman show after all--we’re ALL supposed to matter, and a simmering pot. “Looks like SOMEONE’S distracted,” Neve purrs, winking at a fuming Elisha, “I feel sorry for Cuthbert--I do. Not for the beating I’m going to give her--she’s got that coming., No, I feel sorry for her because if the way she’s being used--just so much blonde fodder being thrown at me to protect Rachel. This is what I’ve been saying about McAdams from the start--people need to realize what a hateful witch she is--but whatever: I for am focused on the job at hand. Destroying Elisha Cuthbert; dismantling the Mountees one fighter at a time; bringing Rachel McAdams to justice.” Neve in sleek black bikini, black gloves: Elisha in Maple Leaf motif sport-bikini top, solid red boy-cut bottoms with broad white vertical bars in the hips, red gloves with white knuckle-area.

During R1: CRAZY tradin’ midring--blistering one-twos as girls dip side to side with KO leverage and CUTHBERT RIPS NEVE A HOOK! Campbell staggering back on shellshocked heels, blinking hurt--Cuthbert snarling, pouring herself up the middle with a thrusting barrage of straight lefts and rights to drive Neve ropeside. Series of clouting rights takes Neve upside the head, driving her to her right, shoulder first into hr own corner--Cuthbert just extending her left to stabilize--swinging sledgehammer rights over the left to stabilize--swinging sledgehammer rights over the top TO BLUDGEON NEVE TO HER KNEES! Campbell dazed, shaking her head--Cuthbert CROWING, strutting away hands high--Neve groggily beats the count swaying hurt at the ropes and HERE COMES CUTHBERT! Elisha overanxious--she charges right into a boozy Campbell clinch--Neve’s mouth slack/open against Elisha’s shoulder as ref issues first break. All Cuthbert--driving in on Neve again and again and again--relentless blonde waves crashing against sagging brunette surf. Campbell soaking up a cudgeling, but managing the pressure with ropey clinches--Neve shaken, but serviceable getting o9ut iof an all-Elisha first.

R2: Neve pulling back from a whistling blonde right, twisting to the left to narrowly evade a swinging left--’Lishy surging forward again, teeth bared, fists flying as she drives Neve to ropes at the stagger! Mountee corner screaming “BODY! BODY!” Elisha obliges  as Neve covers up, tilts forward behind her mitts. SCORCHING body touches--Cuthbert setting her feet like a pro, not falling in this time, just loading u and lambasting the Campbell waistline THICK right/lefts, Neve screaming in pain behind her mitts, butt9icks sagging into ropes--paralyzing licks to her midsection just sucking the life out of those world-class gams. Neve grimacing, opens her arms to clinch, but Elisha won’t have it: CUTHBERT POUNDS NEVE’S JUGS! ‘Lishy’s tongue pink between lips, shoulders rotating as she stands up in the stirrups and chugs hup-hup right/left uppercuts into the jumping mounds of Neve’s twin black cups! Campbell’s corner in hysterics--screaming for Campbell to “PUNCH! PUNCH!”--and NEVE RESPONDS! Campbell’s eyelashes fluttering, lips parted, but she’s pushing out straight shots from her shoulders, buffeting Elisha’s chest and face, backing the blonde up a step. CARNAGE! Girls planting strong-legged, hardening their hearts and POURING left/rights straight up the middle, pounding each other senseless at medium distance! Crowd roaring--ref jumping in as battle crazed vixens just slug away in their own little world, refusing to heed the bell, Campbell’s nose bleeding, eyes bewildered and glassy--she’s catching unspeakable shot from ‘Lishy early!

R3: Neve selling it strong, then fading back a half step, looking to draw Elisha in and NAIL her a right hand over the thrusting Cuthbert jab. ‘Lishy’s HURT! Cuthbert put wobbly butt, staggering forward earmuff: Neve steps right, trailing her left at ‘Lishy’s right ear to turn her into a SAVAGE right uppercut! CUTHBERT SPILLS TO ALL FOURS! Elisha windblown, staring--alert ref bodies snarling Neve back as she’s ready to pounce--crowd surging to its feet as Elisha tips forward into her face, faltering awkwardly before getting rubbery to her feet. Deep, calming breath, Neve: veteran bats her mitts together wipes her face with her left forearm and trudges in to finish this thing. BRUTAL, hardhearted slugging--nothing too frenzied or reckless--Campbell just setting herself, starting her sequences with thick, thudding right hands in the pit of Elisha’s belly, then cleaning up from there. POOR CUTHBERT! Elisha screaming from those blockbuster deposits in her gut, hunching up in pain, then getting her face clocked as Campbell tidies up hooks. Neve getting excruciating leverage on everything--very deliberate punching--all legs and back as she plows her way into ‘Lishy--BUT CUTHBERT WON’T HAVE IT! Late the round--Neve busts Elisha another thumping right to paunch: Cuthbert soaks it, hooks Neve’s mouth, then chops her a drifting right before Neve can get her own hook off and NEVE’S ROCKED! Neve put wobbly butt again, swaying in front of Elisha--brunette able to reach in and snuggle up, bodying Cuthbert into the ropes and smothering her to the bell. Ref working hard to reef apart the cuddle--Cuthbert screaming epithets--Neve just staring in disbelief, being drawn into perhaps the most disastrous battle of attrition of her entire career.

R4-5: Neve’s footwork serving her well--she’s feinting Elisha, fading back a smidge as Cuthbert rushes in, then runs the blonde onto creaming right crosses to put Canuck buttocks a-wobble, Cuthbert sponging a TERRIFIC shot tonight--getting rocked and staggered but showing a very sturdy leg and finding ways to answer back when stunned Adjustment Neve: she wants to get a little closer to Elisha, work off Cuthbert’s chest, keep that left shoulder on the blonde--Campbell systematically stepping ‘Lisha C to ropes for a more intimate beating. Girls laying in mouth on shoulder, tousle scrubbing one another’s faces, pushing and muscling  for punching room--Neve fitting right hands into Elisha’s waist, tucking in hooks behind the elbow and starting to work Cuthbert ‘s proud racj shoving little uppercuts in close. Elisha stubborn as ever--back to the ropes and taking a bludgeoning, she gives almost as good as she gets, twisting and turning her torso to land super-short clouts and body in Neve.

Cuthbert/Campbell conc.

Posted by Simguy on 9/8/2006, 9:39 pm.

R6: Neve crowding again, reaching under Elisha’s arms to chest her into ropes, making the blonde take weight. Cuthbert grimacing with the effort of pushing and straining against Neve--Elisha unable to extend on brawling punches as brunette practically crawls into those Maple-Leaf trunks to help herself, Neve working bump-and-slug, nudging ‘Lish the left shoulder, tidying up short, shrugging lefts and rights, then bodying up to smother the receipts. Cuthbert occasionally shoving back very good, pumping right hands into Neve’s tummy--but blonde waiting her turn too much--just allowing brunette to squirm and writhe all over her at the ropes, Final seconds, Neve butters up the judges with a pretty shoe-shining of Elisha’s Maple-Leafed rack--Cuthbert squawking in outrage, helpless as Neve just twitches shoulders side to side, swishing her mitts across mounds for points at the bell.

R7: Change-up Neve: she goes to midring, knocks her jab against ‘Lishy’s face, steps right to avoid the receipt. Neve stoops, jabs Elisha to the body, then quick-jabs her mouth, steps to the left, jabs Elisha between the eyes. Cuthbert frowning, stalking, holding her gloves chest high--she’s just a pretty blonde target for Campbell. Elisha angered by the poke--loading up from too far out and trying to Neve’s head: Campbell executing very pretty duck-and-pivots to sidestep ‘Lishy--often sending blonde headlong into topers with a contemptuous smirk. Little but of jug-jabbing going on as well--Neve smiling as she double-pumps a straight, stiff left hands to art the mounds, setting them a-jiggle while pivoting clockwise around the receipt. Cuthbert chasing, swinging away, getting embarrassed--Neve saves all the real scoring for the final seconds when she fades back, hooks Cuthbert a cuffing swat on the ear to send blonde staggering to her left at the bell.

R8: Neve having fun now, feinting Cuthbert, moving hands in rapid little patterns, then surprising Elisha a jab or lead right hand up the middle. Sharp pivots left shift Neve ‘round Cuthbert’s right flank--blonde swinging, missing, blushing crimson as Campbell brazenly outclasses her. Minute mark, Neve steps in a firm one-two up the middle, but Elisha sponges it well, answering back a whistling hook to catch Neve’s chin as brunette’s recovering her stance. Campbell frowning, baby-stepping a little with delayed effect of ‘Lishy’s shot--Cuthbert LUNGING in a looping right, catches left side of Neve’s head and DASHES HER TO THE DECK! Crowd roaring to its feet--’Lishy looming over her foe, bellowing down until ref bodies her back--Neve lurching into a sit-up, rolling painfully off her left hip o get shakily to her feet, ON COMES CUTHBERT! Elisha squaring away, baring her teeth and PLOWING AWAY ON NEVE! Straight rights, biting hooks PUNCH THE MOUTHPIECE OFF NEVE’S TEETH! Campbell out on her feet, starts punching back on instinct--and ‘LISHY’S CATCHING LEATHER! Oh the humanity--Neve hurt--’Lishy’s hurt--both girls just groggily pushing out mindless lefts and rights, bumping each other senseless to jug and face. Bell drowned out by the crows--girls staring glassily, mouths open, fists groggily jamming back and forth as ref FINALLY gets in there late. Neve: in stupor, bending over to pick up her mouthpiece, can’t do it with the gloves. “Lishy all disheveled, staring, staggering to the CAMPBELL corner where she’s just about to take a seat when Neve’s people gently nudge her in the proper direction.

R9: Neve’s eyes swelling to slits, lips all cracked and swollen--what a mess. Elisha battered beyond recognition--HER eyes swollen to slits, cheeks all puffy--somehow, battered vixens lurch up off stools and stagger ramshackle into one another’s arms to continue the torment. Painful to watch--silent moments when the girls lean in forehead-on-forehead, pawing at each other’s hands and biceps underneath--then one will muster reserves and rip the other to the ribs, jugs or tummy, finding first-round vigor for that one moment, then relaxing to take her medicine in turn. Elisha absolutely MURDERING Neve to the body--single shits rights and lefts taking Neve with moist gunshot-spank, drawing breathy sobs of agony from Campbell, sending shudders down her thighs/across her backside, Neve in dismal, grudging retreat, but finding uppercuts, picking Elisha up as she staggers forward with short-shrugging right uppies off the right foot, Late the round, Cuthbert’s groggy-bodied Neve to ropes, pushing at her and squaring away as Neve folds up face-in-gloves. Final moments, it’s Elisha big-sintering Neve--blonde digging in a wide stance, loading up and belting tired haymakers from her hips as Neve sits and soaks on the ropes. Bell: Elisha reeling, chests her way into Neve--her battered face one inch away from Neve’s bruised beauty. They just hang there, lips parted, breathing in one another’s hot exhaust until ref pulls ‘Lish away by her elbow, escorting weary Canuck to her corner.

R10: Shopworn vixens shuffle mindlessly to midring--neither girl can pick her mitts up higher than waist level. Neve affecting a shabby imitation of real footwork, stepping gingerly to her right, lifting the jab off her hip and smudging it across ‘Lishy’s jugs. Cuthbert can’t see the hand that prods her--pawing at Neve’s pestering left and pouting in outrage at he cheap jug being taken. RIGHT HAND NEVE! Cuthbert can’t see it--punch just POUNDS into jaw, swiveling blonde skull--crowd screaming as Elisha weeble-wobbles but won’t go down. Cuthbert waves a right, missing--eats another right as Campbell shabby-foots it right, drops another bomb on target. Neve lifts the jab into ‘Lishy’s mouth, punching her head back; drops a right cross onto Elisha’s face--blonde reeling, plodding forward, pushing back exhausted leather, Neve creep stepping right, ducks down as ‘Lishy stumbles forward--brunette straightening to lift a thick, gutting right deep into the cuddly swell of Elisha’s breadbasket, folding blonde forward into Neve’s clammy embrace, Cuthbert guppy-gasping--lips making that fishy gulping motion: Neve with her left arm riding around Elisha’s rightside ribs adjusts blonde weight, shoves another pumping right into tummy, dislodging Cuthbert’s mouthpiece in a sad little tumble down Neve’s back, Elisha crying senselessly now, clinching on reflex--ref pulls the girls apart and accidentally almost pushes them both down, so shaky are the legs left in this fight. Cuthbert on instinct just wants to come forward--Neve waits for the tottering blonde and leans into a crashing right, smashing poor ‘Lishy’s face to the side and sidestepping as Cuthbert crumples face-first into canvas. Neve swaying, dimly staring down at Elisha’s back: Cuthbert’s cheek moist against dirty canvas, lips parted moist--it’s over. Concerned ref kneeling down to tend to KO’d Lishy: Neve staggering away in a fog--limp as she’s tackled by her own corner men in celebration. KO10 Last Woman Standing fashion--Neve Campbell.

After: Neve does it to ‘Lishy again--but at what cost? Cuthbert giving Campbell absolute hell in a brawl for the ages as both girls get an all expenses paid trip to the local emergency ward for repairs. In the immediate in-ring aftermath, a grinning Jessica Alba congratulates Neve, often leaning in close to whisper in conspiratorial fashion: Campbell badly dulled by the punishment, but nodding, whispering back while covering her mouth against over-inquisitive cameras. Mountees would be well advised to keep a close eye on Viper Alba--she may have given ‘Lishy valuable world-class sparring, but how much poison did she inject in the process?

Reposted by Archer 7/9/11.

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