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23 July 2011 Katy Perry vs Lucy Pinder

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 8 months ago

Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennyslvania

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 7/23/2011, 11:37 pm

BEFORE:

"I'm tired of hearing about Perry and her power and her rack," says Lucy. "I've got more power and a better rack, and I'm going to work hers over tonight until she's ready to quit."

"Pinder's just another of these UK girls who think their racks are something special," says Katy, shaking her head. "Kind of reminds me of Keeley Hazell. Anyone remember what I did to HER? If anyone's puppies are going to the pound tonight, it's Lucy's."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Thanks once again to Paris Hilton for joining me for the Arterton/Finnigan fight. And now we welcome our guest commentator for this next bout, Jessica Simpson!"

Jessica: "Wonder why they picked ME to do THIS particular bout?"

O'Dell: "I can think of a couple of reasons. I also think the audience would be interested in your take on this fight."

Jessica: "Well, I don't expect either lady to put on a boxing clinic. I think it's going to get down and dirty with plenty of brawling and jug mugging. If that happens, it's anyone's fight. Katy's quicker and more athletic. If she boxes Lucy, she'll beat her. But, if Katy's past work is any guide, I doubt that will be her strategy..."

O'Dell: "Well, we'll soon find out, because here comes Lucy to her familiar music, 'OMG'."

Jessica: "Lucy climbing in...Wow! Looking impressive in that silver bikini and...that's 'California Gurls' and her comes Katy!"

O'Dell: "Wearing a lime green robe that says 'Santa Barbara Slugger' on the back...and she's got a matching bikini on underneath! Competitive disrobe, Jessica!"

Jessica: "If the fight's this close, we're in for some fun!"

O'Dell: "And we're about to find out. There's the bell and they are wasting no time! Two brunette bombshells just meeting in the middle of the ring and trading. No defense. No movement. Just big punches going back and forth. Perry a good right hand to the head! Pinder slams a left into Katy's face!"

Jessica: "A lot of these are missing, and it may be a good thing, Jennifer! They're absolute bombs. One of those lands, this is going to be a very short fight!"

O'Dell: "Lucy slugging to the body now and Katy responds right back. The girls digging to the midsection, now firing back haymakers at one another's heads. Nobody landing much in that exchange. Not one jab thrown and neither girl looks like throwing one!"

Jessica: "This is a brawl. They're just tearing into one another. You could fight this in a phone booth, but a better location might be an alley!"

O'Dell: "OH! Lucy and Katy BOTH land a heavy right during that exchange! There's the bell! First round over and I've got that one about even."

Jessica: "Not much to choose, that's for sure, but if they keep fighting like that, don't bother with scorecards. We're going nowhere NEAR ten rounds!"

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "We'll see if it makes it through two, because there's the bell. Once again the fighters going right at one another, toe to toe and trading! Good right hand Lucy! Perry felt that. Missed high with a left hook counter. Lucy banging to the body a pair of hooks, then a nice, hard right to the head!"

Jessica: "Perry not getting off here. Lucy's beating her to punches!"

O'Dell: "People forget that, despite her success, Katy's hasn't been at this game that long. This is only her fifth fight..."

Jessica: "Some of that inexperience may be showing here. Lucy's got her off balance. Pinder getting into a good rhythm. Hooking to the body, landing the straight rights upstairs. Katy on the defensive. Unable to land much."

O'Dell: "Perry lands one to the body but Pinder snaps her head back with a hard left hook! Lucy lands a right to the cheek. Perry missing. Pinder another straight right that sent Katy's ponytail flying. That's the bell and no doubt that round is Pinder's."

Jessica: "No question."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Round three underway now, and once again the two fighters charging out of the corner to meet in the middle and start winging away! Perry misses a wild right. Pinder lands a left hook to the body. Katy buries an uppercut in the midsection. Lucy's straight right whistles by Katy's head. Perry bangs a left hook into Pinder's rack!"

Jessica: "From experience, I'll tell you that one hurt. And so did that! A good right hand by Katy backed Lucy up a step!"

O'Dell: "Pinder lands a right to the head, misses badly with a follow up left. Katy buries a left in the breadbasket and ducked a wild right. Perry now swings for the fences with a right hand, but Lucy dodges easily and hooks to the kidney in response. Perry back to the rack. Bangs a left home, then a straight right, blocks a left from Lucy, shoves Pinder back, hooks the rack again. Lucy slams a right behind Katy's ear and there's the bell. Punch stats won't be good on either girl."

Jessica: "No, they won't. Both missed a ton. Both landed some good shots though, and Katy landed more of them, I think. I give that round to Perry."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Well, we're into the fourth now, and I'm kind of surprised we've made it this far with all the ordnance being tossed around."

Jessica: "Lots of it is off target, that's why. OW! THAT one wasn't! Short right by Lucy into Katy's rack!"

O'Dell: "Lucy with a left to the head, back to the rack with a right. Katy missing high with a left and a right follow up. Pinder misses a hook to the body, falling into Perry, who doesn't clinch, instead clouting Pinder in the side of the head. Lucy right in the phone booth with her, whacking at that rack with short lefts and rights. Katy wincing in pain, not tying up, instead banging at the flanks..."

Jessica: "I've got to ask the truck. Has anyone landed a jab yet?"

O'Dell: "I can answer that. No. Because nobody's thrown one!"

Jessica: "Pinder digging into Perry here, bangs a left to the kidney, then a short right uppercut to the jug. Katy cuffing at the side of Lucy's head, but Pinder scoring the points with the body attack. Bouncing Perry's jugs with a right-left as Katy smacks Lucy with a left to the side of the head."

O'Dell: "Pinder's got the range inside. Lands to the rack again. And again. Katy trying to answer back, but Lucy's got rthe position, catching the punches on her shoulders. There's the bell. Pinder with one last uppercut to the jug. Earns a glare from Katy and the ref, but she heads back to the corner pleased with herself...and she should be. That was her round."

Jessica: "Agreed. I've got Pinder in the lead through four, but, again, I get the feeling we might as well burn these cards..."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "There's the bell for round five and the two fighters right back at one another. Perry a good straight right! Snapped Pinder's head back. Katy going to work, letting her hands go, Lucy retreating for the first time. Katy a left hook to the head! That stung Lucy. Pinder firing back, but now it's the Brit missing and Perry finding the range."

Jessica: "Lucy trying to counter punch, but we're seeing the opposite of last round. Perry's got her off balance and in bad position."

O'Dell: "Katy with a hard right hand! Follows up with a hook to the belly. Pinder trying to tie up now, and Katy goes rack! Perry pounding her way free with a nasty attack on Lucy's jugs, slamming uppercuts home! Pinder trying to cover up and Perry a BIG right hook to the chin!"

Jessica: "Lucy's hurt!"

O'Dell: "Perry letting fly with both hands. Lucy covering up. Left hook lands to the head. Right cross wobbles Lucy's legs. Katy back to mugging jug with some uppercuts. SLAMS a left to the side of the head! Pinder wobbles...and DOWN SHE GOES! Katy with a hard right cross and Lucy is down at the ropes!"

Jessica: "She's pulling herself up, Jennifer. She's going to beat the count."

O'Dell: "The referee gives Pinder the eight count and here comes Katy. Perry BURIES a right hook to the jug as the bell rings. The fifth has come to an end and it was a big round for Katy Perry!"

Jessica: "If she'd had a little more time, it would be over. As it is, she's got the lead."

Perry/Pinder Part 2

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 7/23/2011, 11:38 pm

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Round six underway now and 'slugfest' might be the term to describe this one. Katy right after Lucy off the bell. Pinder ducks a whistling right, digs a left counter to the belly. Her legs seem to be there, Jessica."

Jessica: "Yes, she seems to have shaken off the last round."

O'Dell: "And she just shook KATY with a nice short right hook! Pinder in close quarters forcing Perry back for the first time. Nice uppercut snapped back Katy's head. Perry lands a short left, Pinder answers with a hard right to the side of the head! Sweat flew off Perry with that one. Katy being backed up here. Lucy now going rack, slamming a couple of uppercuts home!"

Jessica: "Those are NASTY shots to the jug. Short, landing flush."

O'Dell: "Good right for Lucy! Moved Katy's head with it! Perry backed up to the ropes for the first time and now it's Pinder going all rack! Ripping in hooks and uppercuts! Katy trying to shove her away, but Lucy's in that phone booth, bodying in tight, hooking those jugs. Perry sputtering, helpless against the ropes, tying up now for the first time. And there's the bell. And Lucy shoves up off of Katy, has a glare for the American. Dominated that round."

Jessica: "Sure did. Evened the fight up. And Katy's getting a talking to from Neve and Jewel in the corner."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "There's the bell for round seven and Lucy lands a big right hand! Perry wobbled and Lucy winging away with rights and lefts, buffeting Katy back to the ropes. Perry covering up and Lucy goes to the body, lathering those flanks with hooks, banging away at Perry's arms and shoulders. Katy being forced along the ropes into a corner, clinching, gets a break, and goes right at Lucy! Katy misses a right. Pinder ducks it and lands a left uppercut to the chin. Perry wobbled again! Lucy going back to the body, digging to the midsection, forcing Katy back into the ropes!"

Jessica: "Perry needs to box this girl! This brawling is playing right into Lucy's hands!"

O'Dell: "Pinder snaps back Katy's head with a right hand, digs the left into the rack. Katy bangs a hook to the kidney, but gets nailed with a left uppercut to the chin. Katy stung with that one. Lucy goes rack with a pair of uppercuts. Perry tying up, Lucy still digging to the midsection, then cuffs Perry on the side of the head with a short right hand. Katy again being forced along the ropes. Good left hook Lucy! Follow up right bangs into the side of Perry's head. Katy misses a right and Lucy slams one more uppercut to the rack as the bell rings!"

Jessica: "You know, Lucy Pinder may have won this fight in the build up. Spent all that time talking about beating Katy in her rack, and she's got Perry brawling with, instead of using her quickness advantage and boxing. And she's also got the lead through seven."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "We've made it to round eight, and Lucy Pinder is taking control. Right back at Katy off the bell. Perry lands a hook to the ribs, but Lucy nails her with a short uppercut to the chin. Katy covering up, and Lucy again banging away at the lats, slamming a right to the chin, through Perry's guard, forcing the singer back toward the ropes."

Jessica: "Perry's starting to lump up, Jennifer. Lucy's grinding her down."

O'Dell: "Pinder slams a hook to the rack, and Katy grimaces in pain. Perry ROCKED with a straight right. Lucy having her way at the ropes here. Banging at Katy's arms as Perry covers up."

Jessica: "This is real rope-a-dope stuff. Perry's being a dope and she's trapped on the ropes."

O'Dell: "Hard uppercut, Lucy! Perry being forced to her right along the ropes. Lands a short hook to the ribs, but Lucy a left hook to the head, and a straight right between Katy's gloves. Katy leaning back into the ropes, covering up as Lucy goes rack again, punishing those puppies with a pair of hooks, then buries a right to the belly. There's the bell and none too soon for Katy. Again, Lucy shoves up off of her and strides purposefully to her corner."

Jessica: "Katy more than a little shabby getting back to hers. That was a great round for Lucy."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "We're on to round nine, and Pinder quickly across the ring at Katy. Perry slams a hook to the ribs, but Pinder a good right to the head. Katy again being forced backward. Lucy banging away at the body, working the rack. Katy covering up, shoves Lucy back. Misses with an overhand right. Pinder ducked it, digs a left into the belly. Katy ties her up. Referee breaks them. Pinder forward. Katy with a left jab...OH! OVERHAND RIGHT PERRY! DOWN GOES LUCY!"

Jessica: "She can't get up from that. Landed dead flush!"

O'Dell: "But Lucy IS getting up! Pinder wobbly. Hurt. But she's up. Takes the count. Referee's going to let this continue. And here comes Katy! Perry going all rack on Pinder. Taking as much as she wants! Lucy trying to cover up, hang on. OH! Big uppercut betwe the gloves for Perry. Snapped back Lucy's head. Wobbed the legs. Pinder leaning against the ropes as Katy thunders three hooks to her rack, and a big right hook to the chin turned Pinder's head!"

Jessica: "Referee needs to stop this..."

O'Dell: "Katy back to the rack. OH, THE HUMANITY! PERRY PUMPING SHOT AFTER SHOT INTO LUCY'S JUGS. PINDER JUST HANGING ON...IT'S OVER! THE REFEREE HAS SEEN ENOUGH...HE CRADLES LUCY TO SAFETY! YOUR WINNER BY TKO 9 A RESILIENT KATY PERRY!"

Jessica: "Let's check the replay on the big punch that sent Lucy down. Pinder comes forward and Katy throws what was probably the first jab of the fight. Lands it right in Lucy's face. Stops her for a second, and here comes that overhand right. BOOM! It was all academic from there!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring, where Tess Valmore has the victorious Katy Perry!"

Tess: "Katy, that was brutal, toe-to-toe slugging tonight..."

Katy: "Sure was, Tess. My corner kept telling me to box her, but that wouldn't have accomplished what I wanted. I wanted to impose my will on her, own her rack, and take her out of there. I knew I'd take some punishment. She hits like a truck. But I knew I COULD take it. And sooner or later, I'd get her. It took awhile, but she got GOT."