Boxing on the Beach

Before: Billie crushed by a too-sharp Eliza D last time out--but Piper’s at the forefront of a brash new wave of British fighters looking to penetrate the US market. “The beach has always been a useful alternate route for us,” Billie tells BLONDE! Magazine. “Kelly Brook relaunched herself from the beach, and I will too. I’m much better than I showed against Eliza, as Electra will soon discover.” Electra’s been turning back bouncy young hopefuls for a decade now; she’s licking her chops at the thought of Billie. “Bring her on,” says confident beach icon in prefight. “I’ll punch with any girl out there--everybody knows that. Piper’s a poor man’s Charlotte’s Church--and Church ain’t exactly top notch. I’ll batter Billie, and still have plenty of time to work on my tan after!” Malibu high-noon; standard ring/bleachers; fight ok’d by Courteney Cox/promoted by Jenny O’Dell. Billie in pastel floral print bandeau (pale green, blues, pinks); hair up in slugger’s beach bun; small black gloves. Carmen navy/white striped bikini; blonde loose in the breeze; small black gloves.

During R1: Billie quickly atop Carmen, busily punching her to ropes, squaring away on her, then working. Billie: dukes up/palms out; straight, jamming shots (palms down)n stamping ay Carmen’s chest/arms; swinging right hand tucked snug to Carmen’s waist; scouring left hooks in tight. Carmen in close distance on apron: left shoulder pointed at Billie; left across tummy; right at chin. Electra relaxed, taking  punches on her body and arms--easing into ropes, bouncing gently off them; dipping low, edging her shoulder into Billie’s waist to nudge her off. Carmen being out-hustled, but that trademark smooth/cute delivery’s still there. She’ll turn into sudden right hands, bending low on tummy, bringing the left hand back to her own waist with snatching follow through, thereby closing her stance back up.

R2: Billie across the ring: purposeful; eyes keen; dukes up. Straight, jamming punches strafe Carmen: she’s bobbing up and down, sliding away from pressure--edging her right side into ropes while presenting left flank. Constant pressure from Billie--fighting off Carm’s left shoulder--hooking her breasts, chopping rights at her bobbing head, pushing her roughly. Electra again loose and relaxed--really taking a lot of clean, spanking work on her body and arms, but apparently unconcerned: she’ll dip, roll and counter back--stroking Billie pretty. Good constant work--girls in there panting, shoulder to shoulder. Down the stretch, Piper’s thudding abuse seems to be adding up: Carmen stops punching--just rolling shots, trying to use the ropes or edge her shoulder into Billie to break up Piper’s rhythm. Bell: Piper glossy-brown under the sun as she bounces back to corner. Carmen wincing, arching her back, looking a littler lethargic.

R3: Same again: Billie quickly at Carmen mid ring with an assortment of straight, jamming, palm-down punches for the high guard. Electra sliding back from this--flinging out the odd backhand jab, but really doing nothing to keep Billie off. Piper hounds Carmen to ropes, proceeds to beat her without pity: by the minute mark, it’s becoming one of the defining beatdowns of Electra’s career. Carmen grimacing--right at her left shoulder, left across her gut: she’s bending side to side, or laying back against the ropes, face pinches. Billie just POURING on the punishment: British buns ringing as Piper keeps up a steady drumbeat--working Electra over hip to head, Halfway through, stunned and woozy Carmen takes a dizzy knee--teeth bared in hurt as she hugs herself, trying to rally during the 8. Fight resumes--Billie hungrily upon the veteran: furious bombardment continues with increasing vigor. Piper pushing with the sides of her fists to stack Carm, then chopping away at her close-in. Electra gurgling, beaten into stupor: at the bell, she’s reeling, essentially out on her feet. Billie beaming happily en route to her corner, she’s lovin’ it on Carmen through 3.

R4: Just not the same Electra following that dreadful beat down: Carmen shabbily to ropes, face-in-gloves, elbows in tight to her body as she sits on strands. Billie upon her, squared away and working. Piper raking Carmen non-stop: chipping jabs and brawny pushes set up strafing/chopping/stamping work. Billie getting off with palm-down delivery--even hooking Carmen’s ribs palm-down--staying on Electra’s head and chest. Carmen’s breasts brutally humbled this round--easy targets once Electra’s guard loosens. Billie’s only rising punch is a thick, stout , stuffing right hand tucked deep to Electra’s waist. Carmen groaning upon receipt, crumpling forward whenever the shot lands: Billie really showing tremendous resolve to dominate her famous foe today. During the break--ref asks Carmen repeatedly if she’s OK: she winces yes, while hugging battered ribs on her stool.

R5; More of the same: Electra crippled to the body, legs shot--she just can’t maneuver away from Billie’s drumming assault. Piper able to establish position, force Carmen to ropes, then systematically work on her: it’s a hard thing to watch. Electra stiff n’ shabby --reacting late to chin-checks; dipping and rolling listlessly--frequently AFTER she’s been hit clean. Billie completing work on Carmen’s breasts, pecs and biceps--beating the muscle numb and leaving Electra defenseless. Only Electra’s curvy legs holding her up: she’s tilting on her hips, just soaking up a sun kissed beating through 5.

During the break, ref checks on Electra again. Carmen hugging battered ribs, whispers, “I quit…I’m out…” It’s over TKO5 Billie Piper in shocking fashion.

After: Exultation in the Piper corner: feisty blonde redeems herself big time after the disappointment of Eliza--battering a beach legend into teary-eyed submission. Heartbreaking to see Carmen quit on her stool: punches are adding up on that curvy little chassis at long last. “She just didn’t have it,” bleats a happy Billie P in post fight. “After our first exchanges, I could see I was stronger, and that I could back her up at will. From that point, I simply went at her until she quit.!”

Reposted by Archer 8/29/11.