(Capsule comments culled from various sources)

Posted by Simguy on 9/20/2008, 8:08 am.

HANNIGAN COMEBACK SCUTTLED

Celebrity ring reports that Samaire Armstrong outclassed Alyson Hannigan in a non-televised bout in LA, spoiling the latter’s comeback debut. After dropping the first two rounds to a methodical Hannigan body attack, Armstrong reportedly utilized a withering buggy whip right hand and lathering combinations behind a pinpoint jab to up-end a rusty and greatly diminished Alyson for a lopsided decision.

JAMIE_LYNN SIGLER TALKS JOHANSSON TRASH!

JLS was in fine form in a recent E-fight Daily TV interview--venting most of her  ire on Scarlett Johansson. “I just think I’d beat the crap out of that bimbo,” Sigler shrugged. “I’d hook her body, and I’d work her jugs--and that’s just for starters!” Sigler also had brazen words for Jennifer Love Hewitt, Allison Mack and Britney Spears. When asked to sum up Elisa Cuthbert in one word, Jamie was quick to answer: “Slut”.

YOUTH GETS “SERVED” AT PPV

Celebrity Ring’s recap of the most recent PPV highlighted several bruising defeats of promising young upstarts at the fists of their elders. “Sometimes experience really does make the difference,” the article says, highlighting Charisma, Laetitia, and Karen’s old-school drubbings of Laura, Adrianne, and Mary.

“VANDERVOORT’S A TRAMP!”

That’s the opinion of one Vanessa Minnillo, who doesn’t appreciate the blog-time Laura V’s been getting. “She struts around and fusses with her hair like she’s hot,” Vanessa complains in Beach Beat magazine, “but she’s just a whiny bytch. She quit against that old hag Charisma Carpenter. Any real fighter would have had weezy C out of there!” Minnillo’s not alone: Brooke Burke and Maria Menounos among the many beach-circuit girls to have doubted Laura’s credentials in recent weeks.

NAOMI CAMPBELL WOOED

A consortium of business interests and fighting enthusiasts has announced its intention to cons Naomi Campbell back into the squared circle. “After seeing Naomi’s Life Water ads, we KNOW there’s fight left in that ass,” says a spokesman for the group. “She’s been pushing La Conquista in the Caribbean and having her way--she needs to get back into the FCBA and stat knocking girls out. There’s an entire generation fans who’ve never seen Naomi land direct hits on Charlize Theron’s face, or trade haymakers with tyra Banks and Gena Lee--we think those fights are relevant again.” Stacy Keibler, Gena Lee, Marisa Miller being tagged as possible come-back opponents for the volcanic Ms. Campbell.

Reposed by Archer 8/29/11