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28 August 2011 Miranda Kerr vs Jessica Marais

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 7 months ago

Miranda Kerr.jpg Jessica Marais.jpg

AWUBA (Australian Women's Underground Boxing Assn.) Bout

Posted by Baudo on 8/28/2011, 9:17 am

Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome to the ring, fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at 115lbs, the current AWUBA Super Flyweight Champion….Miranda Kerr.

And in the red corner, weighing in at 117lbs, the current AWUBA Bantamweight Champion….Jessica Marais

Danni: Miranda, you are on the comeback trail after recently giving birth to baby Flynn, this is an amazing effort…

Miranda: Thanks Danni. I’ve been working really hard over the last 2 months so to be offered this opportunity makes all that worthwhile.

Danni: Any comments about Jessica?

Miranda: We’ve never fought an AWUBA fight. We’ve sparred together recently so it’s new ground for both of us. Should be really interesting. Just want to say high to Orlie and Flynn, love you guys

Danni: And Jess is just over here, Jessica how are you darling?

Jessica: Really excited about this fight Danni. Miranda and I have never fought before so this is going to be great for the local fans and hopefully we can turn it on for the visitors.

Danni: What’s the plan?

Jessica: Feel my way through it in the early rounds and then bring the power in through the middle rounds. Endurance is important against Miranda.

Danni: Ok good luck.

Cole: SURPRISE b###h!!

(Cheryl Cole throws a Four ‘N’ Twenty meat pie with sauce which hits Danni right between the tits)

Danni: OH YOU b###h!! I don’t get paid enough to put up with this crap….get Cheryl Cole out here!!

(throws back to Kylie as Danni is escorted back stage and Cheryl Cole is once again ejected from the arena)

Kylie: Someone needs to do something about that Kear Kats fighter. Anyway, I guess I’ll start without Danni again. I’m not game to make any predictions after the last fight but I know this will be flashy. Both boxers have quick hands and fast feet. And Nikki’s power will be somewhere behind both girls punches.

Round 1

Kylie: Round 1 gets under way with Miranda on the front foot, throwing the jab and pushing Jessica around the ring. Jessica picking her moments to release her jab. Both girls working each other out.

Danni: I’m back

Kylie: That was quick, change of dress I see….absolutely stunning with those heels.

Danni: Awww thanks…..Did you see that? That silly b###h through a pie at me. I wish there was room on the card tonight.

Kylie: Well it would have to be before ours and that’s next so it’s not going to happen. Anyway, back to the fight and the first minute has been much of the same. Jess throwing some big left and right hooks there, a lot of power in those shots as she slashes at Miranda’s face. Miranda rocked, backing away with Jess coming on strong. MIRANDA IS ON THE ROPES, head bobbing around early, trying to protect herself but copping a Marais pasting. Wicked uppercuts keep her upright.

Danni: Here we go again, like Browning, there is just too much power in Jessica’s punches, Miranda needs to be careful here.

Kylie: Miranda glassy eyed, arms loose by her side as Jessica Marais BASHES MIRANDA SENSELESS against the ropes! Marais on a mission to end this fight in round 1. Left and right hooks to Miranda’s jaw knocking her head side to side, her legs are gone as she sits on the ropes. Jessica picks her head up with two perfect uppercuts to the chin, MacPherson moving in the corner. Jessica Marais slugging away as Miranda’s mouthguard goes flying just before the bell. Miranda’s caught by her right arm and hanging in the ropes.

Danni: That was a bell to bell demolition job there from Jessica Marais. What are these girls on? There is certainly no mercy for their own stable mates that’s for sure. Miranda has no idea how to get off the ropes, let alone find her corner.

Kylie: Look at Jess, she is serious. That was clinical.

Danni: Twice now Elle has had to consider stopping the fight at the end of the first. Jess should be saving that sort of stuff for the FCBA or the BBU girls.

Kylie: Miranda still has no idea where she is but the fight looks like it is going to continue. Lets go to an ad break.

Round 2

Danni: Miranda is already red faced, with eyes swelling and still looks like she needs direction to midring. Jessica straight in with straight rights at Miranda’s face, Miranda trying to block but again she is forced to the ropes. Miranda is covering right up, not offering anything, spinning left and right to avoid shots. Jess backing away and landing two solid rights to the side of Miranda’s head, DOWN GOES MIRANDA KERR...

Kylie: They were heavy shots but appeared to get glove more than anything. Miranda taking a breather there I think.

Danni: I don’t know sis, looks like the lights go out on Miranda just there.

Kylie: Well she is up at 6 and the ref gives her the all clear. Jessica straight in, low and working the ribcage now, softening Miranda up and then applying the uppercut through weak gloves. Once, twice, three times, Jessica gets through with the right uppercut and Miranda’s head is bobbing again. Miranda swaying against the ropes, mouth agape, soaking up the punishment. Jessica is tiring though Danni, she can’t keep up this pace.

Danni: You’re right, she slowed right there. She has spent up a lot of energy trying to finish this. She did say she needed endurance for Miranda but has used a lot up trying to get the knock down here. Miranda is a mother and a fighter.

Kylie: What does that even mean?

Danni: I don’t know but it sounded good in my head. Look she is throwing hooks in return here. Miranda finally lands a punch in the dying seconds of the second round and that makes Jess back away at the bell.

Kylie: Still it’s all Jessica Marais at the moment. Miranda Kerr’s face is bruised and swelling up. Her eyes won’t last the fight if she keeps getting hit like that.

Danni: There was one sign there for Miranda and that was Jess backing off toward the end of that round. She has spent a lot of juice.

Kylie: Will be back after this short break.

Round 3

Kylie: Sorry for the break in transmission there is we catch up mid round. Kerr struggling to get out of her corner and Jess is on her in a flash but Miranda lands the jab early and follows that up with another. Jessica stunned and now blocking and backing away. Miranda is controlling this, walking Jess down and jamming that jab between the guard. The odd one gets through and Miranda works the mid section now.

Danni: Miranda right back in this as Jess is constantly retreating and not throwing anything. BIG RIGHT into the sternum and that HURT JESS. Miranda throwing hooks at the body and clipping the occasional uppercut which has Jessica’s head bobbing.

Kylie: This is the Miranda we know. OH THE STRAIGHT JAB JESSICA MARAIS, gets one to land and now Miranda is shaky. Both girls slogging it out midring all the way to the bell.

Danni: How do you score that one sis?

Kylie: Well I think Miranda landed more punches early so it would have to be 10-8 Miranda.

Danni: Jess said the middle rounds were where the power shots would come in but I think she has spent them up. That wasn’t a powerful jab it was just on the money.

Kylie: It will be interesting to see how Miranda comes back. Her left eye is badly swollen, that jab making it worse.

Round 4

Danni: The pace has dropped right away as both girls test each other again. Miranda is outpunching Jessica though.

Kylie: She’s throwing more punches but not necessarily landing. I think Miranda is back to her plan now Danni. Look how determined she is.

Danni: Not much happening though, both girls circling. I’d say they are saving themselves. There’s a quick exchange that ends in a clinch and the ref forces them apart, first time we have seen that tonight.

Kylie: The crowd is getting a little restless here. Used to seeing slogging rounds and this goes against the script so far.

Danni: Still they are enjoying it.

Kylie: Miranda lands the jab there, and again, Jessica stunned and up comes the guard, Miranda goes to the body, punishing hooks to the mid section, uppercut to Jessica’s chin and there’s the bell.

Danni: Great round by Miranda, she really took the fight on. It’s amazing the difference a round makes.

Kylie: She hasn’t really troubled Marais though.

Danni: She doesn’t need to if she wins the round.

Kylie: Yes but a better fighter might have knocked her out by now.

Cole: PLASTIC WHORE!!

(Cheryl Cole is back in the crowd slinging abuse)

Danni: Oh come on, you cannot be serious. Where is that skank? I’m going to rip her head off!!

Kylie: Ah, sorry…..(off mic, Kylie yells, “Danni turn your mic off you idiot, that went to air”), I’ve lost Danni again.