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11 Nov 2005 Lauren Graham vs Charlize Theron

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 9 months ago



Slumming is dangerous - Charlize the first to admit it. "Lauren's got absolutely nothing to lose," Theron grins, relishing the challenge. "She can let it all hang out in this fight - she's going to go at me with guns blazing. This fight is as dangerous in its own way as a Jennifer Garner or Cat Bell contest: a girl like Graham has to be so thrilled to be in the spotlight that it actually temporarily elevates her above her station. Reality's going to hit, and hit hard in this fight - at some point she's going to realize she's in over her head - but until then, this is going to be as tough a test as I've had all year!"


Graham just happy to be here - brunette's got size, heart, two honest fists - she's going to give Charlize 110% in this one. "Girls beat Charlize all the time," Graham rationalizes, "it's just a matter of which Theron shows up. I'll tell you this - if she thinks I'm coming in all Oscar-dazzled, she's in for the shock of her life. I'm in shape, I'm strong, and I won't be bullied. Anything Charlize takes from me, she's going to have to earn."


Lauren in sturdy black cotton bra and panties (from Sweet November), Charlize in white bikini top, shades-of-blue tie side bikini bottoms (never a good sign when a girl can't find her fighting togs and has to borrow bottoms for a bout!)


Rd 1: Lauren robust - dukes up, throwing short, determined right hands off her shoulder, ticketed for Charlize' jaw. Lauren jabbing with a stiff-arm motion, really jamming Theron in the mouth, putting blonde's weight back. Theron leggy, hands low, dancing the ring - she's just taking a look-see, using a lot of feints and guaging Lauren's reflexes in forfeiting the first.


Rd 2: Charlize setting down in spots, very relaxed, beating Lauren to punches, then stepping around to reset the geometry. Charlize holding her right loose at her cheek/temple, pop-popping a backhand jab to freeze Lauren for cuffing hooks, chop-straight right hands between the eyes. Theron playful, batting down on Lauren's scalp and shoulders with open palms when sidestepping; looping circus right hands amidships with a little sidearm sauce - Graham covering up and taking flat on her tummy. Theron laughing at the bell, swatting Graham's rump a backhand right in passing - Lauren immediately turns, shoves Charlize in the back, precipitating referee intervention.


Rd 3: Lauren squibs a right hand in over Char's left - Theron cramping up on impact stands right there for two more jamming rights on the chin. Lauren reaching in around golden hips to walk Theron to ropes - brunette showing working-woman's strength in pushing Oscar-winner down, jostling and mauling, then breaking out the baseball bat amidships. Nothing fancy - Lauren smothering Charlize at the ropes, stuffing home lefts and rights to waist; tromping up-torso to bash away at Theron's perky jugs. Thudding beatdown MOST insistent - Theron uttering a plaintive whimper late as she wraps up around Lauren's head in desperate clinching, giving away her ribs on the cheap to Graham's pumping fists at the bell.


Rd 4: More right hands from Lauren - Charlize just staring, posing as punches crash in over her lazy left to wear out that iron chin. Charlize beaten groggy to ropes - she lays back eyelashes fluttering, hands up palms out - just trying to manage Graham rather than beating her back. Lauren scowling, weight forward - she's hauling lavish wallop into Charlize' flanks, stacking Char up every time she droops forward to clinch. Theron's mouth open, blonde curls obscuring her eyes - she's just STANDING there - corner screaming at her to punch. Graham right hands dislodge Charlize' mouthpiece at the midway point - steady clanging chin-punches have blonde dazed, staring. Sensational body punching late - Lauren really ringing up the Theron ribcage with pitching lefts and rights - Graham stands up in the stirrups to mug Charlize' helpless jugs as blonde slumps in ropes at the bell. Graham beaming - she's just posted back to back shutouts over Charlize Theron, helps herself to a cupping right hand full of Oscar-winning backside to send Charlize moping to her corner for the break.


Rd 5: Theron sluggish, flat footed, loose limbed - she paws a lead right, slides back while walking Graham into the cuffing check hook, retreating to ropes in the face of stomping LG pressure. Lauren dukes up, moving her head, weaving Theron's swatting work, then bashing back hard to ribs - Graham 100% committed to breaking down Charlize' body tonight. Theron ropeside - blinking, distracted, hurt - she shows earmuff at times, moves to crossed-arm, twisting her torso to show shoulders to Lauren - all the while, Graham's pouring on a relentless sheet of leather. Midway through, Theron's arms crossed at her torso - she takes a CREAMING right hand across the mouth, tossing her head hard to starboard and draping her stunned in the ropes. Lauren opening up, slopping hurt onto Charlize - great swinging lefts and rights batting Theron's bruised face side to side and CHARLIZE GOES DOWN! Char beaten to her right hip, left hand up in the ropes behind her - she shakes her curly head, trying to feel her legs. Blonde pride lifts Theron off the mat, but she's badly hurt, nodding groggy to ref's queries and ON COMES LAUREN! Graham stepping-to, squaring-up and POUNDING away! Charlize lips parted as she droops forward as Lauren helps herself to every delicacy on the menu. Ripping left hook strong to the lats, ribs on the right side behind Charlize' right arm; chugging left/right uppies to jug, bumping Theron upright and forcing the mouthpiece off her teeth again; drifting lefts and rights on the mouth as Theron leans back into the ropes, eyelashes fluttering, facing into punches. Bell: Charlize swaying in the wind, out on her feet - Lauren Graham stomping back to her corner angry butt, anxious to finish this thing.


Rd 6: Charlize' corner screaming: "BABY GET OFF THOSE ROPES" but poor Charlize can't process the instructions. Theron destitute, reacting slowly - she's dug in at the ropes, bending at the waist, trying to ease her shoulder into Lauren to nudge her off, trying to grab at Lauren's head/arm to hold her close and slow the beating. Graham relentless, very rough and physical - she's constantly butting and scrubbing Char's face with her head; she's constantly pushing and palming drooping blonde upright for more abuse. Lauren strapping her hooks to Char's rightside ribs and quivering waistline - a steady stream of licks - sharp, thick - keep Theron's legs numb, mouth open. Lauren never neglects Charlize' breasts for long, staying on them with jamming criss-cross, getting up into them with left/right shrugging punches, then extending the elbow to push Theron off. Bell to bell wipeout - Lauren systematically reducing Castle Charlize to rubble - blonde in tatters at the bell, face puffy/shiny, ribs throbbing - she hobbles to her corner for desperate repairs.


Rd 7: Charlize fades to ropes, digs in hurt: but she's not done yet. Graham trudging in, looking to start Char out with those blunt right hands on the jaw: Theron finally blocking and riding out the initial assault, answering back slick-licking left uppercuts and slicing right hands - Graham finally catching spiteful counters for the first time tonight. Midway through, beauties trade swinging right hands amidships and Lauren comes out the loser - her legs buckle, her body crumples up and Charlize wades off the ropes punching. Theron reaching back to her middleweight days, trudging forward with beefy lefts and rights to her foe's chest and lungs, physically moving Graham backward. Lauren open-mouthed, faltering - she's backing straight up and Charlize is able to step into brunette chin with drifting lefts and rights - PUTTING GRAHAM ON HER BACK! Crowd roaring to it's feet - Charlize 'staggering' forward to trample her downed foe with 'accidental' momentum - blonde ends up draped in the far ropes, breathing hard - poor Graham sitting gingerly up, grimacing in shock. Shaky 8 Graham - she takes one step forward before being pancake-tackled flat to ropes by a vengeful Charlize. Theron slopping on the ham to the bell, palming Graham upright by her shoulders and painting her gaudy lefts and rights - blonde won't lay up at the bell, forcing referee intervention. Both beauties wobbly butt, groggy as this thing takes it's toll through 7.


Rd 8: Charlize stumbles out to slug, backing Graham up in murky first minute toe-to-toe, but Lauren's absorbing well, halting Theron's forward momentum just before the ropes, then slowly retaking lost canvas as girls brawl mouth-on-shoulder. Midring, they're banging away - laying in cheek-by-jowl for a moment, then swinging hard, then falling in again - they're draping on each other, using each other for support as fatigue sets in. Lauren finding a home for that right hand in Charlize' sternum - just a short, plugging blow fitted flat to 'plexus that has Theron groaning - but the midway point, blonde's hanging off brunette neck again, trying to bog Graham down. Lauren taking over late, walking Charlize to ropes and roughly pushing her down - Graham able to square away and apply herself to the task of clubbing Theron senseless. Charlize a staring wreck - arms crossed, bending forward and back as her head is clobbered side to side - Graham just fighting strong of her foe's chest to take the 8th.


Rd 9: Charlize with stroking, licking hooks: right hand under her chin as she strokes Graham under the chin. Lauren staggering to her left in a little circle around Charlize, momentarily dazed and Theron never looks back. Flat footed, hardhearted slugging - Charlize spoiling Graham with whippy hooks, then tidying up short, straight right hands spanked flat off the face: Lauren's head on a bobble as Theron pings away. Midway through, constant swat-n'-drill has Graham glassy-eyed - right hand caroms down off her chin and she staggers back on her heels, finally sitting awkwardly down at the ropes with Charlize plodding forward. Theron blowing cranky blonde curls off her eyes, glaring down sleepily at her foe: poor Lauren tries once, twice to roll up off her left hip before gingerly climbing the ropes to her feet. Shabby stuff - crippled blonde moves in on ramshackle brunette to pile on mindless. Stupid brutality - Charlize's eyes half closed as she slops on crude lefts and rights: Graham three sheets to the wind herself, drooping and drifting - she's bludgeoned to her knees at the bell as the ref jumps in to body Charlize back.


Rd 10: Mumbling, wobbly-butt vixens shuffle to midring - both digging down to be the last woman standing tonight. Blinking, pouting, they paw at each other, measuring, then setting down on blunt rights or sloshing lefts against available chins. Folding in against each other, they hoist heavy leather up underneath, pushing leather into tired ribs, straining tummies. Girls take turns picking up one another's chins via tightly clipped uppercuts inside - drowsy faces popping up glum, eyelashes fluttering as girls flop together after hurting each other. Chugging. Bumping. Pushing. Bludgeoning. And Charlize finds rhythm, stepping back in good order, walking Lauren into scraping lefts and rights short across the mouth. Graham tottering forward, getting her face buffetted side to side and LAUREN GOES DOWN! Char staggering aside let Graham sprawl on her face. Pathetic sight as Graham, lying on her right cheek starts leaking tired tears, tries to push up off her chest but its NO GO! Exhaustive KO10, Charlize Theron.


After: Theron weepy in the aftermath, collapsing in her corner, shuddering with relief - senseless brawl taxed both women to their utmost. Poor Lauren Graham! Ahead on the cards, she'd done the hard work to Charlize' body, beaten Charlize' beautiful face unrecognizable - SO CLOSE to making the dream come true tonight. Tawdry stuff in post fight as shabby girls come together amidst a crowd of hangers-on and media - words are exchanged and girls reach groggily to entangle each other in a staggering embrace. Officials pull weakened beauties apart - hard feelings more than apparent and rumour has it these two might meet on apartment carpet to settle their differences


Postfight Press Conference: Lightweight Champion (and KruZherS stablemate of Theron) strides in wearing the FCBA Unified belt around her trim waist, obviously unsupported big breasts jiggling and swaying beneath an expensive silk brocade blouse. As she stands behind the podium, the buxom blonde leans forward - giving wide-eyed cameramen a good long look at her ‘goodies’ as she purrs out a silky introduction to the vanquished ex-champ.


“I hope you all saw what happened in the ring to your ‘Golden Goddess’ tonight. What you saw was just a hollow husk of the ‘unbeatable’ champion you all were fawning over last month. Now maybe you’ll believe the long-lasting damage THESE babies can do,” she grinned as she raised her clenched fists in front of her excitedly heaving bosom. “You all scoffed when I made some light-hearted reference to Charlize as my ‘gatekeeper’. Well, I have to agree with your skepticism. There’s not much left of your ‘Golden Girl’ to keep my gate, is there? Still, we at the KruZherS are going to take poor ol’ Char under our wings and we’ll help Nurse Sunny (McKay) nurse her back to health. Once she’s right again, I’m still going to let her be my gatekeeper….maybe she can keep SOME of the unworthy wannabe’s away!” As a murmur of surprise at Heigl’s disrespect for her stablemate ran through the assembled press, Charlize Theron’s battered face peeked through the curtains. “And now, here’s the woman of the hour,” Kat sneered cattily. “Our EX-champ, Charlize Theron!”


Charlize steps out looking somewhat sheepish at her lack-luster performance against a second-tier Lauren Graham. She steps to the microphone, then is forced to step awkwardly aside to allow Heigl to get past; Heigl half turning as she wiggles along the edge of the stage in FRONT of Theron, scrubbing her massive mammaries across Theron’s throbbing puppies and smirking at the tall blond ex-champion’s sudden intake of breath at the painful sensation.

As Heigl leaves the room, Theron steps to the podium and mumbles, “Thanks for the intro Kat.”


Then she looks up into the bright lights and squints, the dark bruises on her face already showing up under the harsh and unforgiving glare. “First, I’ve got to repeat what I told you all coming into this fight,” Charlize says. “Lauren had nothing to lose and she let it all hang out! If I hadn’t caught her flush late, I’ve no doubt she’d be the one standing here crowing about how she dominated the ex-champ. And let’s not forget Kat Heigl’s contribution either. I have to admit she’s right; that title fight took a lot out of me and I’m still not fully recovered - not that it’s any excuse.”


Charlize is interrupted by a cascade of questions and she raises her hand to silence the din. “One at a time, please. Yes, you with the fedora pulled down over your face. You think I don’t recognize you Skip?”


“Charlize, why with a chance to beat a top five fighter to secure your place in the rankings did you take a fight with an unranked fighter like Graham?”


“Well Skip, first there weren’t many top ten fighters willing to take my calls! When you’re the champ everyone pretty much HAS to take you up on it when you offer them a chance at the title, but as soon as you lose that everyone suddenly sees you as ‘too dangerous’. I called several top ten women and they all pretty much said the same thing, ‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you!’ Most people don’t realize what an advantage holding a title is in matchmaking but, believe me, it’s vital. I guess the second thing is I have to admit I got caught up in that hype about  a 'real woman' vs 'glamorous movie star' fight. I’m still not sure, but I THINK I was supposed to be the ‘real woman’ - wasn’t I? Yeah!”


“Charlize, what about Heigl’s comments about making you her ‘gatekeeper’? That has to rankle, doesn’t it?”


“Yeah, at first I was a bit upset about it, but she IS the champ and she has the right to make the rest of the lightweights dance to her tune. Me, I’ve always been willing to fight anyone the FCBA will give me a contract to fight - and one Kim will sign. I don’t have a big problem with the champ making the rest of us sort ourselves out - as long as she steps up and fights whoever proves herself number one. I expect that to be ME in a short time. I’m challenging Tricia Helfer to get in with me and if not her, I’ll take on whoever is ranked between me and the title to move up!”






“Sorry boys, but I’ve got to go put some ice on these babies….” (she cradles her battered boobs in both hands. “Then it’s down to the Porn Star Fight Club where Sunny’s fighting some big porn star in the main even tonight. Too bad they won’t let you boys in; it promises to be quite a sweet show!”


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