15 Oct 2005 Alyssa Milano vs Naomi Watts

Before: Milano with a chip on her shoulder for this fight. "Naomi looks down on me," Alyssa shrugs in prefight. "She always has. She thinks she's better than me and everyone else, but that's total garbage. I've got more fighting spirit in my big toe than Naomi has in her whole scrawny body and I'm going to prove it to her by knocking her out." Watts sharp, fit and refusing to disguise her disdain for Milano's small-screen pedigree.

"Milano's a blight," Naomi says, wrinkling her nose, "a boil, a pest. She's a C+ fighter, nothing more. She's been lucky against me in the past, but when you see us both in the ring, you instantly recognize which one of us has quality and which one is simply there for her fading sex-appeal. I'll embarrass Alyssa in this fight and hopefully we won't have to suffer through too much more of her after I'm finished."

Naomi in white bikini, ring connections (I heart Huckabees) - Alyssa in green bikini top with bra-straps, tangerine bottoms. Small gloves both vixens.

During R1: Alyssa slowly getting her way through intense early negotiations, eventually jabbing and bumping Naomi to ropes. Final minute all Milano - she separates herself on the cards with some gorgeous short hooks to the waist - just systematically working Watt's expensive paunch as blonde covers up.

R2: Alyssa with a stubby, stiff jab unsettling Naomi - Watts manouevered to ropes again: Naomi covers up earmuff. Thumping beat down applied - Milano in there snug, fighting out of a crouch, ripping hooks to hip, flank, shoulder and skull, bringing the mitts back to her chest as she bobs to avoid receipts. Alyssa sparing with the right hand - mostly keeping it tight to cheek to check Naomi's hooks - but brunette turning on short clouting crosses and clubbing overhand rights to startle Watts throughout. Only after the bell can we see how wobbly butt Watts is as she staggers back to her corner: serious punishment dished out by Alyssa on a glum and taking blonde.

R3: Nice recovery round, Naomi - she's finally getting her way, keeping the action midring. Watts operating behind a classy jab, busting Alyssa in the chops, pre-empting her. Watts pivoting left, dipping her left shoulder and hooking Alyssa thick to jug - Milano grunting, waving back late receipts as blonde outclasses her rival to right the ship.

R4: Watts with a strong first minute, punishing Alyssa midring, but Milano bobbing and weaving, jabbing stubby up out of her crouch worms her way in close enough to clang a ringing right off Watts' chin to open the second minute. Naomi sent reeling wide-eyed to ropes: she covers up earmuff, bending forward and SHOUTING in pain as Milano jerks that vicious left hook in under the elbow. Alyssa a master at hooking the liver/floating rib area on a woman, really busting Watts to the body - blonde issuing first breathless clinches of the fight, clinching up head and elbow for breaks.

R5: Shutout Milano. Watts open-mouthed, eyes resentful - she's skirting the perimeter, not wanting anymore hot Alyssa punching. Milano showing scooting footwork and lively leg - cutting off the ring, fixing Watts' position with the jab, then hammering lithe blonde ribs, flanks, tum. Alyssa keeping her head below Naomi's chin, rotating shoulders inside - fists tucking in, bouncing off Watts in crowd-pleasing splatter patterns. Milano arching her back to get short right uppercuts through Naomi's mitts - Watts brushed back, looking startled, disheveled through 5.

R6: Watts back with a hard one-two, stunning Alyssa to open the round: follow on hooks tart across the mouth slap the mouthpiece off Milano's teeth. Respect established, Naomi goes to her jab, circling clockwise and spanking Alyssa's face with deliberate, systematic cruelty. Milano crossing her arms, reactions slowing - Naomi's stiff poke making Alyssa drowsy. Watts able to hook off the jab, drop smooth right hands in: classy boxing midring puts Alyssa wobbly butt for the first time tonight.

R7: Watts in control: jabbing Milano into a funk, then setting down on hooks or right hands off the front foot. Busy blonde punching - ratatat delivery dazing and punishing Alyssa, though no one punch really hurting her. Naomi's legs starting to taunt with their freshness, their litheness: Watts smiling small and pretty to herself as she works over Alyssa's puffy face. Bell: Milano a little stumbly, blinking: Watts chests up midring and forces Alyssa to walk around her to get to corner.

R8: Watts dishing on Alyssa - but Milano refusing to go away quietly. Brunette uprisings forcing Watts to up intensity in spots - blonde having to bare her teeth, punch hard one-twos to get Alyssa to cover up again. Milano taking a great shot, pressing her attack to Naomi's ribcage, but brunette just can't dictate terms. Time and again, Watts boxes for positional advantage, smokes Alyssa a meaningful right hand or hook to retake the initiative. Little smile a perpetual feature of Naomi's expression now: she's imposing her will through 8.

R9: Shutout Naomi Watts. Alyssa glum, crossing her arms, bobbing slowly, taking punches. Milano unable to come forward - Watts now bathing her in scrubbing straight lefts and rights, sidestepping to reset. Everything off the front foot for Naomi - upright, conventional stuff, very pretty to behold - she's just tarting Alyssa up sleepy, punching rhythmically back and forth across Milano's discouraged face. Occasionally, Naomi stamps away crisscross to jug, just because: blonde taking whatever she wants, whenever she wants it at this point.

R10: Spirited Milano resistance - she's ducking down low, straightening up into hooks, punching hard to make Watts work late. Naomi in and out - plenty of bite left on Alyssa's bodyshots and blonde not anxious to stand in and sample them. Midway through, Milano scoring a pair of serviceable right hands to Watts' jaw, backing blonde straight up: follow-on hook swivels Naomi's head, drapes her staring, ropeside. Alyssa attacking, crouching low under a pushy Watts one-two, then answering a robust hook on the chin - Naomi getting caught clean clout, looking alarmed as she leans back into ropes. Milano up and down in her crouch, winging hard right hands, torquing into vicious lefts - she's cleaning up the right side of Naomi's body, bringing grimaces of pain to Watt's beautiful face. Final moments, Naomi doing a nice job bouncing into and off the ropes - Milano bashing away mindless. Alyssa's right hand brushes Watts back; deep crouch Alyssa, then she UNLEASHES a shrieking hook with 100% Milano behind it CATCHING NAOMI FLUSH ON THE CHIN! Sickening head-swivel Watts - hands pushing out plaintively at Alyssa's shoulders and WATTS GOES DOWN! Watts dropping straight down, knees hitting her chest and sitting her awkwardly back into the ropes - chin lolling down on her chest - hands out to either side, palms up - SHE'S OUT COLD! KO10 in the dying moments, Alyssa Milano!

After: Puffy faced, battered Alyssa shrieking down at KO'd blonde - ref has to push battle-lusty brunette away to enforce the break. Watts in command, but never really breaking Alyssa - hard punching little brunette never quit on herself tonight and delivers heartpounding drama to close the show. "When she wakes up," saucy Milano tells interviewers, "ask Naomi who's better now - me or her!"