• If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • Finally, you can manage your Google Docs, uploads, and email attachments (plus Dropbox and Slack files) in one convenient place. Claim a free account, and in less than 2 minutes, Dokkio (from the makers of PBworks) can automatically organize your content for you.


18 Aug 2006 (Title) Ch Charlize Theron vs Cobie Smulders

Page history last edited by Archer844 9 years, 6 months ago

Charlize Theron 2.jpgCobie Smulders.jpg





Posted by simguy 8-18-06


Cobie taking The Big Step Up very early in her career: too much too soon? "One round with Charlize is like 10 rounds with some of the fighters more on my level," Cobie shrugs in response to concerned press queries. "Make no mistake - I know I'm the underdog, I'm not going to sit here and talk a bunch of crap about Charlize and how I'm going to mess her up - because I really do believe she's the greatest fighter of our era and it's an honour to be competing against her. I just want to go in and test my skills against her - I'm in shape, I know what I have to do, and win, lose or draw, this is a tremendous experience for me."


Charlize obviously charmed by her brunette opponent - Oscar Winning blonde very gracious at the podium. "I'm giving Cobie this opportunity because she's the classiest rookie I've seen in years. She's poised and she's smart: she KNOWS I've heard every kind of smack, every sort of half-assed attempt at 'intimidation' from every kind of tramp, and Cobie's just rising above it. The truth is, I'm gonna give this kid a beating, but I do admire her for coming in and laying it all on the line like this. Seriously, I wish a lot more girls were like Cobie Smulders and she isn't the only one honoured to be in this fight."


Fighters shake hands at the dais, nod like professionals at one another - Theron's custom-built black and silver Victoria's Secret Body Saddle prominently displayed on the Krusher side of the room the only ominous note in an otherwise cordial prefight.


Charlize in black lace VS bra and boy cut panties, small black work-out gloves, coiffured hair up as per Ginny reference. Cobie in Maple Leaf motif sports bra, solid red boy cut trunks, small red work-out gloves.


Rd 1: Cobie trying for Charlize body with reaching right hands - parried aside as Theron nimbly sidesteps, loping midring for positional advantage in opening moments. 30 seconds in, Cobie gets her first taste of prestige: sharp, pull-counter right hand dropped in tidy over brunette jab, rapping Cobie's mouth and sending a jolt through her knees. Theron widening stance, fluidly throwing herself over to offence - she steps into Cobie's gut a cranking left hook off the front (left) foot - small mitt sounding out PAK! against Cobie's taut white tum. Smulders grunts as she covers up, then tries for a hook-receipt: Theron shifting weight to her right (rear) foot pulls a longer, rangier hook across Cobie's mouth as Smulder's shot comes up short. Jab from Charlize as she steps right - jab, jab - Theron rotating 90 degrees to her right, spreading Cobie out, scuffing her, then leaning in with mustard on an overhand right sharp against Cobie's left cheek. Smulders stunned, covers up shaky: Theron right back to that gut with hooks PIK! PAK! PEK! Cobie's face twisted in pain - she stoops forward, tentatively looking to clinch: CT reaches that small left hand glove to clutch at Smulders' waistband, neatly tugging her forward, spinning her, then shouldering her off to hit ropes in disarray. Muscular Theron follow up - blonde leaning in on widespread feet - working Cobie hooks and right hands to waist - coming up top with brisk, licking left or right uppercuts. Theron VERY supple and smooth putting punches together, turning tanned shoulders side to side and dipping her torso as she works - very hard for Cobie to draw a bead for counters as blonde romps to a fast-paced shutout first.


R2: Smulders shows composure - a little overwhelmed in the first, she comes out dukes up, punches a stiff jab into Charlize' mouth to back a startled former-champ up. RIGHT HAND COBIE SMULDERS! Cobe leaning in, catching CT a drifting clout on the chops as Theron's leaning back, hands down, obviously thinking she's out of range - ringing clap sends tall blonde reeling to ropes as crowd roars to it's feet. ON COMES COBIE! Smulders baring her teeth, scooting-to and going gut on Charlize with both arms pumping - thumpitythump rights and lefts jerking and shaking Theron, forcing her to tie up with a hurting frown of complaint on expressive brows. Ref's break - Cobie thumbing her nose, jogging on the spot, then attacking Charlize at the apron: blonde upright, dukes at cheeks, leaning out over the top rope to absorb Smulders' rush, then tieing her up as action starts to bog down. Stop and go rest of the way: Cobie confronted with problem of how to get busy on CT at the ropes without being smothered; Theron cagey, thoughtful, basically looking to draw Smulder into clinches, but also drilling some nasty right hand timing-shots to pick Cobie up as she bulls her way in. Bell: hard working round goes to Cobie - she's all smiles back to her corner; Theron colour high, nodding at her trainer as she approaches the Krusher corner - very business-like Charlize tonight.


Rd 3: Theron directed to stay off the ropes during the break - she takes midring with authority, treating Cobie's face to a brace of glorious Oscar winning jabs. Sharp cracking impact of small mitt against beautiful brunette face - Smulders facing into jabs, taking 'em flush - she tries to hook back, but Theron leans back onto right foot, making Cobie come up short. Theron leaning in with right hands up top - blocked as Cobie commits her guard high - then mopping up all the rib and tummy she could want via the hook in Cobie's body. Great, lanky blonde leverage on these body shots - CT bending her knees, twisting her hips and snapping those beauties off pale Canadian torso. Smulders grunting, cringing upon receipt - she's feeling the weight of shot from the multi-time champ as Theron bangs out hardhearted points in the third.


Rd 4: Cobie trying to work her in with her jab - CT fading back and timing that cute little pull-counter right hand over brunette stick - catching Smulders' cheek again and again, then turning at the ropes to leave Cobie breathless. Theron holding hands at waist - very loose and relaxed - legs settling into that fluid, bouncing gait as she's pretty much dialed in her range at this point. Theron judging distance exquisitely - her mitts able to find Cobie's jawlines, sports bra and ribs while Smulders making glancing contact in response. CT warned for trunk-tugging with her small mitts - making expert use of the yank/spin/shoulder-bump routine to keep Smulders off balance. Cobie's mouth open - courtesy Charlize' thumping left hook to the body: blonde doing yeoman's work down there early in this fight. Down the stretch: Cobie dukes up at her temples, trying to crouch forward; Charlize rangy outside, sweeps a slow, wide left hook to Cobie's ear, then bites down hard on a short, chopping right and THERE GO COBIE'S LEGS! Smulders torso whipsawing on liquid hips, managing to keep her feet, but reeling hurt into ropes - Theron loping in, face calm, heartrate/breathing unchanged as she pounces. Little pawing, skidding blonde jab scuffs atop Cobie' skull as she crouches down, dukes at cheeks - CT prompting wounded brunette crouch, then RIPPING Cobie a GORGEOUS, oh-so-tight right uppercut to chin! Theron arching her back, weight on her right foot as she curls that baby home - taking ALL of Cobie's chin, then snapping the fist off Cobie's face to it's ready position as CT's breast. SMULDERS GOES DOWN! Cobie dropped to one knee, face bleak - then to all fours as she steadies herself - sunny smile Charlize, a wave to ringside admirers as she saunters to neutral corner. Cobie's up at 10, swaying and staring, hands at her side - ref waves his hands and shakes his head 'no': this thing is stopped TKO4 Charlize Theron.


After: CT coming to Cobie, hugging her, making sure she's ok, then chatting to her - Smulders disappointed, but holding no grudges, chatting up the fight with CT like old friends. Victoria's Secret rep Stephanie Seymour has seen enough, barging in and demanding CT mount up, reminding Theron: "You knock a girl out, you ride her into submission - that's the deal."


Cobie stiffening, ingenue uncertain as Theron stoically listens to about 30 seconds of crap - then PUNCHES THE CORPORATE TART IN THE STOMACH! Theron ordering Saddle-prep for the VS stooge - minions comply mindlessly, cinching and strapping the gasping brunette up. CT mounts up strong - right hand in Stephanie's hair, left hand up rodeo-style as she knee-prompts the mount forward. Seymour's teeth bared, grunting as she leans into the shoulder-straps, tears forming as Charlize obliges brunette to break into a staggering canter. Crowd roaring - VS suits happy as long as the saddle's on show: only Giselle Bundchen and other active VS stable fighters sitting arms crossed, lips pursed, deeply unamused by Theron's antics.


"The Victoria's Secret Body Saddle is a great product, and I totally endorse it for blondes everywhere," Charlize says after her ride has left Stephanie in a blubbering, used-up heap, "But nobody tells me who to ride, or when. Nobody."


Comments (0)

You don't have permission to comment on this page.