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19 May 2009 (Title) Ch Scarlett Johansson vs Salma Hayek

Page history last edited by Dradis 11 years ago

Posted by simguy on 5/19/2009, 4:24 pm


BEFORE: All A-list JMD title bout: rack racket's come a long way from it's humble D-list beginnings. "No one's ever going to forget Jennifer Love Hewitt plowing her way into Salma's chest and basically ending Hayek's career," Scarlett shrugs in prefight. "That happened - Salma can't wish it away or pretend it's a mistake. And that was YEARS ago - before Salma's big 4-OH - she's nowhere near the fighter now that she was then. So hall of famer or not, get ready fellahs, because I'm gonna get all up in Hayek's rack and give her the kind of beating that's making her quit these days." Salma coming in curvy: big, hulking hooters, rounded arms, thighs and tummy: she's going to apply beef to the problem of Scarlett's youth and stinging fists. "Johansson isn't on my level, no matter how old I am," a determined Hayek declares. "I would beat this woman in my sixties. I have no idea how she has come to control the tiara, but I want it from her. And what Salma wants, Salma gets." Hayek in bulging black lace push up, leopard print trunks; black gloves; straight black hair. Scarlett in black bra and panties with white lace trim 'round the decolletage; hair back in slick battle bun; white gloves with black cuffs.


During R1: Johansson leaning in on right leg, sweeping left hand into Hayek's rack with big clapping smack; ducking low; pivoting right in southpaw stance. Hook receipt smites across Scarlett's jugs: Salma turning quickly, punching compact, surprising Johansson with quickness. Scarlett pawing her right hand down atop Salma's jugs; chopping in the short, straight left: quick duck-and-pivot right carries Johansson under Salma's swinging hook. That's the gist of it - Scarlett rotating to her right - looking to place single-shot, pounding left hands into Hayek's bra, then pivot away from receipts. Hayek seeking hooks, locating Scarlett to paunch and jug in spots.


R2: Johansson potshotting, but Hayek's timing her: Scarlett routinely clipped hook-to-chin as she's trying to back away after spanking Hayek's jugs. Salma stepping in off any chin-connect, pounding her fists against Scarlett's bra-front and pecs: big, slamming blasts in combination driving blonde ropeside. Hayek scooting-to, pressurizing Scarlett: Latina digging in via gancha hooks behind Scarlett's right elbow, sitting the champ in ropes, taking away her legs. Securing Scarlett's body with heavy thump, Hayek works up-torso, handing out heavier, more-sustained doses of shock to Johansson's jumping jugs. By final minute, Scarlett's suffering; lips curled off teeth, arms trying to cross atop her chest as Hayek bashes away to shoulders and armpits. Salma in seething form: eyes blazing as she batters shellshocked Scarlett at bell.


R3: Johansson learning her lesson: stay off the ropes. Scarlett using a pawing right jab - flirting with Salma's tits while setting up blistering, single-shot left hands straight up the middle. Johansson pivoting smartly right - turning Salma's left flank: Hayek forced to adjust, cutting back on output as she attempts to step to better positions. Good chipping attack from Scarlett: she's scoring to Salma's rack; vexing Salma with pesky jabs and quick, swiping right hooks off the pivot. All just enough to keep Hayek off balance and secure points for Scarlett.


R4: Hayek gets HER way - jabbing into Scarlett's face and chest, disrupting her stance and pounding her waistline with both arms pumping. Fight carries to ropes: Scarlett covering up, bending at the waist, immediately trying to fight Salma off with tidy-kind uppercuts. Not happening: Hayek hooking viciously, repeatedly behind Scarlett's right elbow: crowd groaning in sympathy as the blows clap out loud against decadent blonde flesh. Once Johansson's sitting in ropes, breathing hard, Salma reaches in, chests her girl upright, then begins the hard work of bashing her senseless. Chopping right hands, constant hooks beat at Scarlett's defences, smashing her biceps, clouting her jugs. Hayek always on Scarlett - bodying her tuff, wrestling apart her guard, then battering her: adoring fans roaring as Salma turns back the clock to her old LA forum days. Johansson listless against ropes - generally showing the right hand at left cheek/right across her gut, bending and rolling in between Salma's beefy stack-ups.


R5: Scarlett fighting her fight as long as she can - turning Hayek midring and spiking her jugs via left hands... but Salma won't be denied. Hayek's constant, hamhanded pressure to the body and flanks tires Scarlett, discouraging her: Hayek able to walk her blonde to ropes and beat her until Johansson can clinch. Scarlett lumping up, looking shabby - mouth open on Salma's tanned shoulder in the clinches, hanging on tight for ref's breaks. Hayek more energetic - quickly closing and backing Scarlett up: latina forcing her way in more and more often - joyously swinging away side to side at rack as Johansson wilts. Bell: Scarlett pushing up off ropes, blinking back tears as she picks her chin up. Salma's eyes dancing, lips smiling huge as she gives Scarlett a heartless once-over.


R6: Johansson surprising onlookers - showing compete, showing discipline as once again, she works her fightplan. Sudden, stiff left hands crash fat into Salma's jugs: Johansson leaning in close on follow through, bumping Hayek while pivoting-right, keeping Salma off balance. Slapping, pawing right jab from Scarlett a nuisance, but it's pre-occupying Hayek, keeping her guns holstered. Right hook off the pivot finding a home in under Hayek's left elbow: good carving touches winning some winces from Latina legend. Hayek's pace visibly slowing: she's unable to cut off the ring this round, doing her slugging only when Scarlett edges in to exchange in spots.


R7: Scarlett landing fat and loud to Salma's jugs via those single-shot left hands: good pounding clout starting to wear on Hayek's confidence. Johansson mixing up her movement - sometimes rocking back onto left foot to pull across a sneaky right hook, catching Salma's left eye. Cute stuff: Scarlett scoring clean, clouting touches, stopping Hayek's advances and even backing Salma off at times. Hayek shabby, disheveled: tops of her breasts bright pink from Scarlett's plowing left hands.


R8: Plowing left hand flattens Hayek's jugs: deep gasp Salma as she steps back on her heels, eyelashes fluttering. Johansson hops in, features the left to Hayek's rack again; jerks a short right uppercut clean to chin, flipping Hayek's head back. Salma topples to ropes, blinking in confusion: she's mouthbreathing, shabby. Scarlett moves in close, weight on right leg: Ripping right hooks take Salma to waist - Scarlett popping hips-left to get torque. Blonde quick-pushes brunette shoulders, sitting Salma in ropes: Hayek cringes forward, earmuffing up. Scarlett baring teeth: she digs in behind Hayek's elbows, beatin' that body, stiffening those curvy legs. Smiting blows swab across Salma's back: ref shouts warnings, Scarlett keeps scrubbin'. Jo bends low, gets underneath Salma, bodies her upright: Hayek groggily ties up behind Johansson's elbow, eats a shoulder in the mouth for her trouble. Scarlett wriggles free, rolling fists against Salma's paunch: Hayek groans, hands groping for Johannson's neck as blonde stays busy. Scarlett pushes Salma back, then romps to rack: blonde back straight, fists curling up and across in tight arcs; left hand finishing up at Scarlett's right shoulder; right hand finishing up at left shoulder. SALMA'S UNRAVELING! Torrid punching has Hayek in stupor... head lolling back... hands up but easily slugged aside... jug meat jumping under Scarlett's clobbering touch, the beef bunching up in that heroic black push up. Johansson in her zone - face a feral snarl - fists hup-hup-hupping and THE REF STEPS IN! Salma jug-mugged into helplessness: she's reeling, blinking in stunned jugshock as she's cradled to safety. Staggering upset TKO8 Scarlett Johansson.


After: Johansson roaring, earning herself a coveted "Latina Assassin" label by adding the legendary Hayek to an equally inexplicable victory over Eva Mendes some time ago. After a ring romp and congratulatory hugs, Scarlett's ready to receive her prize.


From RACK Magazine (an account of Scarlett Johansson's postfight subjugation of Salma Hayek):


This was hard to watch.


Most of us consider Salma Hayek one of the hallowed names in JMD and boxing in general, and it genuinely hurts to see her pounded out on her feet by a fighter who probably couldn't have gone three rounds with the Mexican Mauler in her prime. But we're not dealing with Hayek's prime now, we're not even dealing with a Salma Hayek who looks like she's got a 9th and 10th round in her sturdy-looking legs these days. We're dealing with a Scarlett Johansson who may just have found her niche as a fighter at last, and who knew just how important it was to make an example of Salma on the night.


Scarlett tugged Salma up off her stool by her bra straps; kept hold of the strap in her left hand in order to deliver a brisk slap to Hayek's already bruised left cheek. The sharp shock startled Salma, widening her eyes, and Scarlett would explain later why she felt the slap was necessary: "I wanted her wide awake. When I pulled her up, she looked like she'd go out at my first squeeze, and I wasn't having that from her."


Johansson folded Salma's face to her breasts with a practiced snare - the left arm curling in behind Hayek's head; the left hand cupping Scarlett's right bicep while her right fist wound itself in Hayek's damp hair. Salma stumbled forward, her palms on Scarlett's hips, and there was still a little fight left in Hayek. With her left hand on Scarlett's right hip, Hayek drew back and put a right forearm into Johansson's belly; tapped the tummy with the knuckles of her right hand, then drove home another right forearm. Johansson grunted, her lips tight with determination: Hayek could slam away all she wanted - there was no way Scarlett would relinquish her grip.


Hayek seemed to accept this - ceasing her operations against Scarlett's tummy to reach 'round her back instead. Gripping her right wrist in her left hand, Hayek hugged up around Johansson's ribs, and there the two stood, each willing the other to quit. It would be no contest: Hayek had been battered senseless only moments ago, and she was already in oxygen debt before getting a face-full of Johansson pressed against her. It wasn't long before Salma's hands returned to Scarlett's hips, pushing plaintively against them as Johansson cinched her arms, tightening her grip.


Another thirty seconds passed, and Salma's left knee gave way, bending down to the canvas. Scarlett let her go, standing in front of Hayek, the backs of her hands light atop Hayek's glistening shoulders. Salma was dazed - eyebrows arched high, eyes closed as moist lips pouted for air. Salma's head lolled forward, bumping her nose into Scarlett's tummy, and Johansson smiled at the sight. She lingered there as Hayek fumbled for consciousness - Latina hands pawing blonde thighs - with the whole world recognizing that nothing prevented Scarlett from tugging Salma back up and imprisoning her again. It was exactly the message Johansson wanted to send to those of us who still doubted her going into this fight.

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