21 Aug 2006 Jessica Biel vs Nadia Bjorlin


Jessica Biel 3.jpgNadia Bjorlin 03.jpg

 

 

 

 

Posted by simguy on 8/21/2006, 6:54 pm

 

Before: Unprecedented labour/management dispute between Ms. Biel and Technetium gym: Jessica livid at stalled momentum, lost opportunities while either girls have surged past her in the lists.

 

"Does anyone really think Katherine Heigl could have emerged if I had been there to keep her down?" Biel fumes in prefight. "I should have been fighter of the year and I WOULD have been champion if Technetium hadn't inexplicably held me out - it's ludicrous. You know, people warned me when I went blonde that I'd be asking for trouble - but I thought all that blonde mismanagement stuff at TU was crap: brother, was I wrong! All I know is Nadia whatsername is going to pay and pay like no other fighter has paid before. I've got a lot of lost ground to make up on her sorry ass and I can't wait to start kickin'."

 

Bjorlin equally excited at the prospect of welcoming back a rusty and distracted Jessica B to active competition. "Biel's mind isn't on this fight," Nadia smiles, "and things move pretty fast in the FCBA. When she left, she was something special - now? She's in with the kind of body she's probably only had nightmares about - Jessica Biel isn't ready for Nadia Bjorlin Heat. When she tastes my stroke, it's gonna loosen up her buttons and she's going to think 'Whoa - I'm in trouble'!" Bjorlin in gold underwire bikini, white gloves.

 

Jessica in neon blue bikini (Stealth), white gloves, long blonde battle braid.

 

During R1: Surprising toe-to-toe - Biel scowling as she edges her left shoulder into Nadia's chest and gets to work. Biel riding her left across her waist, right up under her chin, dipping her torso side to side as she swats hooks, chops tidy right hands, touching Bjorlin up and down. Nadia feeling the bite of the smaller woman's powerful strokes, but standing in - trying to pull down Jessica's hands and club at her head and shoulders. Jess rough with her head - bumping and rubbing Nadia in the process of shifting side to side. Biel much better defensively - twisting, turning, dipping her torso, giving Nadia subtle little angles on the inside and blocking most of Bjorlin's optimistic punching. Jessica finding Bjorlin's stout tummy and ribs easily, and sampling those proud jugs with swatting hooks - twisting torso-right and ducking down on follow through to avoid Nadia's hamfisted receipts. Jess cheeky at the bell, telling Nadia: "Baby you're missing a button there I think."

 

R2: Jessica at ease - prowling, flat-footed stepping, easing in and out on muscular legs, dictating terms of engagement. Bjorlin covering up at her temples and leaning forward to receive Jess - Nadia's letting Biel get off thick to the waist right/left to start each negotiation. Jessica's punching very, very snappy/taut early - mitts bouncing sharp off Nadia's ribs and tummy, drawing oohs and ahhs from the crowd - Jess not showing much rust as she steps her girl around, gets off compact, withering blows and shuts Nadia out in the second.

 

R3: Jessica at home on the inside with bigger vixen - tidying up Nadia's belly, easing weight onto right foot to tug saucy hooks across bulging daytime jugg and scoring with muscular uppercuts off either foot as Bjorlin leans forward behind her gloves. Easy breezy Jess Biel boxing - pivoting around her girl, outpunching Nadia, punching Bjorlin's biceps in addition to all the other work - looks another shutout until a swinging Bjorlin hook catches Jessica pulling back, momentarily putting blonde wobbly-butt. Jessica gritting her teeth, leaning forward behind her mitts: Nadia weight on front (left) foot lifts a short, thick left uppercut first to Biel's stomach, then to the jugs with a muscular CHUP! CHUP! delivery. Jessica gasping, grimacing as she pulls out and legs away: Biel showing belated respect as Nadia finds the mark in the third. Cheek from Bjorlin after the bell: "How you holding up, Jess? Baby you look hurt."

 

R4: Nadia HURTLES across the ring intent on sacking Jess for a loss: Biel ducking underneath, pivoting to sidestep the blitz, then taking flight as Bjorlin jiggles to a stop, finds her balance, and surges forward again, teeth bared. Biel backpedalling throughout the first minute, unable to hold her canvas against Nadia's reckless rushes - but eventually - Jessi's counterclockwise stepping brings Bjorlin to heel. Nadia turns stalker - nostrils flaring, eyes glaring as she walks Jess down. Biel light on her feet, constantly turning the Bjorlin left flank, feinting her and jabbing at her guard to keep her outside. Nadia occasionally coming up the middle to engage, but deftly pre-empted by Biel's catspaw cuffing counter-hook - Jess able to get it off while backpedalling, then resume her counterclockwise rotation. Final minute - Biel circling, Nadia following - Jess sweeps a wide, medium speed hook up top, then bites down on a vicious, short right hand to chin tic-toc, neatly splitting her opponent's mitts. NADIA'S STUNNED! Bjorlin suddenly rubbery, torso whipsawing, eyes distraught - she's all loosey-goosey as Jessica resets her feet, pounces in a savage right hand that takes ALL of the Bjorlin chin. DOWN GOES NADIA! Bjorlin dropping straight onto her face as Jessica bellows down in exultation. KO4 in sudden, shocking fashion, Jessica Biel.

 

After: Biel back with a vengeance - climbing the corner rope, pounding her chest and shouting into the crowd - electrifying performance by one of the sport's most dynamic fighters reminds everyone of what they've been missing. "I'm the best fighter pound for pound in the game today," Jessica whines in postfight, still bitter despite a smashing victory, "and Tech's got me in with soap opera bimbos! I'm the Sexiest Woman Alive, and they've got me fighting undercard bums. I'm telling you, TU's gonna get someone seriously hurt with me fighting this pissed off all the time. This girl had no business being in there with me, you know? I have NO idea what the hell they're thinking - I could have killed her!"