23 June 2006 Virginie Ledoyen vs Audrey Tautou


Posted by simguy on 6/23/2006, 6:56 am

 

Before: Ledoyen fleeing one prefight conference in tears as press fawns over DaVinci's Tatou: Audrey's eyes dancing at the sight of her rival's distress. Virginie similarly threatened at home: the last Tatou/Penelope Cruz apartment wrestling bout fought at Cannes set gambling revenue records throughout Europe as Audrey cashes in on her new-found global profile, pushing Ledoyen out of lucrative rivalry-spots. "She's a fraud," Virginie sniffs in the pages of Le Monde Frappe. "In the FCBA, I will expose her. American soil is very unforgiving for French girls who do not truly know how to fight."

 

Tatou unconcerned, basking in her moment. "I am surprised to hear Virginie is still alive," Audrey says sweetly, eyelashes batting. "She is like the ghost - always moaning and rattling chains, but never seen." Ouch.

 

Audrey in elegant black bikini, tan sheepskin UGG boxing boots. Ledoyen in elegant lavender bikini, tan sheepskin UGG boxing boots, long brown curls. Small gloves, both vixens. Virginie seething during ring instructions, quivering to jump Audrey right then and there: Tautou smirking, baiting Virginie with sheer better-than-you attitude.

 

During R1: Tautou smartens Virginie up a sharp poking jab in the mouth, steps left and taps it twice more - brisk footwork, stiff legs articulating the European style. Virginie stalking pantherish, flat footed - she's more Latin-American in approach, sinuously cutting off the ring, always setting down. Minute mark, Ledoyen brings Tautou to ground near a neutral corner, bat-batting at Audrey's slender flanks a thick right/left: Tautou covers up earmuff, stoops forward to slip under the work. Virginie adjusts, rotating her shoulders to dig tight lefts and rights up into paunch: frowning Tautou beaten to ropes as her torso takes a drumming. Audrey snarling, drops her hands and looks to smoke Virginie a payback right: Ledoyen sharper, flings her left hand over Audrey's right shoulder to block, leans in to club Tautou's chin a short-chopping right. Virginie on top, fighting off Audrey's chest: quick palm-shove in the shoulders jostles Tautou, leaving her vulnerable to Ledoyen's clouting left. No let up from Virginie: she goes right/left to the pit of Tautou's flat little tummy, cramping Audrey up with a whimper; Ledoyen promptly knuckle-shoving Audrey's chest to jostle, then pasting her left/right on the chops. Tautou in swoon - Ledoyen just stacking her rival up and going to town: she's slugging as though the 'Can-Can' were playing in her head. Body: right/left; shove to prop. Face: left/right; shove to prop. Audrey staring, mouth open, hands drooping. Ledoyen heartless, lips set in a tight line, lithe body elastic as she lathers away at her foe. THE REF STEPS IN! Little Audrey cuddled to safety, shaking terribly from the non-stop TKO1 Ledoyen assault. Virginie lingering right there behind the ref, shouting invective in French, fists balled at her side: she clearly wants more Tautou.

 

After: Tautou crying uncontrollably, shuddering in humiliation: utterly dismissed by the woman Audrey has publicly vowed to replace. De-gloved, a cold-blooded Ledoyen struts to the Tautou corner and demands Audrey be turned over: fresh tears from beaten Tautou as she meekly comes to Virginie, head bowed, accepting Ledoyen's greedy right arm about the waist. Haughty French walk of shame - Virginie parading her conquest to all four corners, kissing at Tautou's tears just to taste them. It ends when Ledoyen, standing, bids Tautou to kneel and supplicate: blubbering Audrey crouching on her haunches, reaching gingerly for Ledoyen's slender right ankle and placing the foot atop Tautou's head. Audrey face down, palms out to either side flat against the canvas as she crouches there. Ledoyen resplendent, fists balled against her hips, right foot lightly perched atop the back of Audrey's head - Virginie's bright smile lighting up the arena despite the American distaste for such meanspirited displays of Old-World dominance.