Posted by simguy on 4/29/2007

Before: "I'll never fight at 110 again," Hewitt announces in a small press conference. "I'm going to take a couple of tune-up girls like Rachel to get acclimated and then I'm invading the bantam division in force. I'm a woman now - I have a woman's body - and I'm not going to starve myself to come in a weak 110 when I can be stronger and healthier at bantam. Not saying I'm not going to fight flyweights anymore, but I won't sign any contract that forces me to come in light. They want me, they can eat the differential." Fight is semi-private, non-televised (broadcast on various blogs/youtube in its entirety after the fact). Venue: open-air bout on private beach (overcast, but still bright day - muggy); no ring; exclusive resort hotel somewhere near Playa del Carmen. In attendance, a few lucky guests, timekeeper, official, 3 judges to record/sanction the result; seagulls, sailboats, jet skis in the far distance. Rachel in sturdy navy bandeau with bra strap support, blonde hair battle-bunned back, small black work out gloves. Jennifer in neon lime green bikini top (pink heart over left breast); white-belted, mini-skirted, pink bikini bottoms; small pink work out gloves. No corners per-se for either girl - attendants float nearby with water/ice etc. Ref is a pretty Mexican girl - hostess at the Hotel, but also a licensed/accredited referee (can't call yourself a 5 star resort without such professionals on staff).

During R1: Cautious, thoughtful start. Girls squinting under hot tropical sun. Rachel dukes up, elbows in, chin tucked - she encroaches on Jen, stepping in, crouching slightly, eyeing the Hewitt torso hungrily. Jen a little looser dukes-up posture - legs very sturdy looking: she's definitely over 110 here. Rache closes: Jen jabs into the Stevens guard; hooks Rachel's right shoulder, then ties up - careful catch-and-release boxing from Hewitt early. Slow-steppin' embrace - ref issuing orderly break - girls circle, eyeing each other, then gradually spiraling back in. Hewitt getting off first with the jab, then scoring a hook or short right hand, then tying up, or sidestepping to turn her girl. Stevens a willing accomplice - just walking in heavy, getting touched, allowing the clinch without working too hard to shuck it. Rachel's backside and upperthighs very cushy - she's not terrifically well conditioned for this fight. Shutout Hewitt - nobody hurt.

Break: Girls separate, standing on sand. Liveried hotel attendants approach with water and misting bottles - thirsty girls drink, then close eyes to face into cooling mist. Timekeeper holds up a dainty triangle at the minute-mark: a single chiming note resumes the action.

R2: Slow-stepping approaches - girls swishing away flat footed in sand. Jennifer upping the tempo slightly - no longer waiting for Rachel to approach - Hewitt stepping in her jab, driving Stevens back under spicy poke. Jen mixing in the right hand - dropping it tidy behind the jab up top, or swinging it to Rachel's slightly sunburned paunch. Stevens not getting off - camping out in her earmuff stance - strong on her legs, tilting forward, but waiting her turn. Hewitt slowly turning up the volume until she's putting robust three-punch combos onto Stevens: jab; tart right cross up top; thick, biting hook to paunch. Hewitt methodical, flat footed, but pivoting to her left now, using enough footwork to destabilize Rachel. Stevens looking uncomfortable - Jen's jab skidding off cheeks and forehead, constantly chipping at Rachel. Rache hurt by lusty, cranking hooks to her midsection late: she backs away with a pained how-could-you expression; Jen straightens, looking her girl over as the triangle chimes.

R3: Jen establishing patient, professional control - systematically breaking Rachel down. Stevens crouching, frowning at Jen's jab, trying to weave it or block it, but not doing anything to disrupt it. Hewitt can do as she pleases - setting her legs to punch; getting off in robust threes. Jen slowly adding in the rest of her arsenal: sprucing Rache up the tidy left uppercut off the left foot; hooking tight-in to Rachel's breasts; tying up and walking Rache in a little circle - Jen using the small gloves to grip and control her foe. Inside, Stevens gets work done this round, scoring short, brawny rights and lefts to ribcage and jugs - not a lot of damage done, but at least Hewitt knows Rachel's there. Rachel threatening to compete after two minutes, but Jen shuts her down with a series of three spanking hooks - each licked lanky off the front (left) foot. Stevens groans, covers up, tilts forward hurt: Hewitt able to mop up convincingly, bouncing small-mitt combos off her foe's head, shoulders, flank to the triangle-chime.

R4: Jen jabs for control; hooks for respect; drops right hands to bang back Rachel's head and get Stevens loosened up. Hewitt flat-footing to her left - stroking and licking Rachel, working her over as Stevens crouches sadly forward. Hooks end it: Stevens forward behind her mitts; Jen leaning in on her front (left) foot, cranking that long hook down in behind Rachel's elbow - small mitt gouging cruelly into pudgy midsection, harming Stevens. Rachel groans, sinks to her knees after Hewitt's third visit to the liver region. Jen straightens, pushes hair out of her eyes, calmly looking down as panting Stevens makes a halfhearted attempt to rise, then gives it up on her haunches. KO4 to the body, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

After: Rachel neatly dispatched - Jennifer really showing heavy hands, good strategy, good patience in simply taking her girl apart and leaving her wheezing in the sand. Hewitt walking along the beach with the lone ANS intrepid who made the trip to collect quotes. "I'm planning to fight JMD and regular," Jen confirms, ending rumours that she had given up the ghost at JMD. "I've got the weight I need to push Britney around, and I think I can lift the tiara from her in short order. But I have bigger ambitions than that. I want Dani-Buster credibility at the weight, and I'm calling Fishel out. With Dani beaten, people will know that I've transitioned from the pretty cover-girl with the amazing rack to a serious player who can take and hold titles at 120. I'll push Allison Mack to the sidelines to solidify my position and establish my ranking - then the sky's the limit. I'll brawl the classy girls, and I'll box the brawlers - I just don't see anybody threatening me at bantam."