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4 June 2006 Cameron Diaz vs Jenny McCarthy

Page history last edited by Archer844 6 years, 10 months ago

Cameron Diaz 06.jpgJenny McCarthy 04.jpg



Paramount Lightweight Championship:



Originally posted by Simguy on 6/4/2006, 2:40 pm


Cameron in white “Angels” surfer bikini

McCarthy in tawdry lilac cashmere crochet bikini


WHERE FOUGHT: Controversial—Diaz wanted Miami, but HBO insisted on West Coast locale, eventually settling on L.A.


Quote: “We’re allowed top punch kidneys, right?”—Jenny McCarthy trying to clarify the rules in prefight.


SYNOPSIS: Diaz had slowly been rounding into form in the weeks leading up to this tournament—shaking the rust, getting into shape and rediscovering some of the  gifts she possessed as a Demi-Moore destroying pound for pound vixen. Jenny McCarthy had been largely on the sidelines, fighting special invitationals at the Playboy mansion and doing to a lot of commentary—most assumed that Cameron would be the sharper fighter, but McCarthy’s improvisational abilities were a constant factor I the minds of oddsmakers and bettors alike.


Perhaps no other fighter embodies the look and feel of Muhammad Ali quite the same way Cameron Diaz does I the ring. She’s got the same relaxed dance-bop rhythm when working midring, the same negligent hand position at her stomach, trusting her flexible upperbody and springy legs to keep her out of range. She punches like Ali with choppy little right hands off stinging, flicking jabs and batting, cuffing left hooks. But Ali never had to negotiate with anything quite as unpredictable as jenny McCarthy in a prizefight. By the 9th minute of this fight, Cameron had established her speedy hands and feet, but had also been tackled to the canvas three times, rudely roughed up while on her back or stacked against the ropes, and pounded squarely to her trunks by a flagrantly vicious Jenny Mac.


The two wildly contrasting styles so completely neutralized one another that this fight would go to an 11th and deciding round. In it, an exhausted Cameron Diaz had a minutes worth of dancing left in her kegs, before she was hounded to the ropes and mercilessly beaten. With McCarthy pounding everything from quads, hips and trunks to jug, arms and chin, Cameron Diaz was simply beaten into stupor. Hammered to her knees—Diaz would beat the count, but she limped to finish line a battered shadow of the proud vixen who had begun the fight, Jenny McCarthy—a late walk-on to the tournament—had dismissed one of the classiest high-seed entrants in the first round of the Paramount.


BEST MOMENT, CAMERON: 6th round, Diaz spent the first minute dancing, sidestepping and confounding McCarthy, setting her up for a glorious sequence around 1:15 in. Weigh on her front foot, Diaz chopped a right hand betwixt Jenny’s eyes (bringing the hand back to her tummy on follow through); clipped a licking hook off her hip to Jenny’s mouth—doubling it—tripling it; pivoted left with a stiff-arm jab to the right side of Jenny’s jaw, neatly steering McCarthy; clipped a right uppercut, just grazing Jenny’s brow as McCarthy stopped forward; clipped a stronger left uppercut, caressing Jenny beneath the chin and swiveling her head around, Diaz flashed her sunniest grin as she backpedalled out of range while Jenny staggered away wobbly butt, finally punched onto her heels by her foe’s classy combination-punching,


BEST MOMENT, JENNY: 11th round, knockdown, A limp Cam Diaz drooped forward behind her mitts, soaking punches Ali style without Ali’s tremendous shock-absorbing ability. This was vintage McCarthy, cutting loose with bared teeth, pumping fists and all the forehead, shoulder, elbow and forearm one would expect from a Mansion brawler. Fists bounced off tanned thighs and white trunks; mulched taut tummy; bashed toned ribs, arms; caromed off skull, After a sustained, withering barrage, a weepy/dazed Cameron sat down with her knees against her chest, covering her head with her hands as Jenny CONTINUED to rain down punches in girlish fashion, slapping at the top of Cam’s skull as the ref jumped in.


Reposted by Archer 6/30/09.


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