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5 September 2008 Kate Beckinsale vs Jenny McCarthy

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 2 months ago

 

 

 

 

 

 

Originally posted by Simguy on 9/5/2008, 4:31 pm.

 

 Before: Security frequently separating these beauties, forced to intervene due to Kate's heartless taunting of Jenny with the infamous Bunny Bracelet. "Each charm is engraved with a name, and a date of conquest," Kate says admiringly, holding her arm out to show the silver charm bracelet on her wrist; the flat Playboy Bunny-icon charms tinkling and glinting in the lights. Regular Playmate victims are silver; Playmates of the Year are gold. "And THIS charm (holds up a new, golden Bunny charm in her free hand) will be affixed the moment Jenny's body hits the canvas. Tawdry, appalling, little tart: Jenny McCarthy." Jmac steamin' - been a long time since an opponent has gotten under her skin like Kate. "It's like she wants to INSURE that I give her extra," McCarthy says at the podium. "I'm gonna give this chick the beating of her life! There is no way in hell I'm letting her add my name to that stupid bracelet of hers. It's sick - you ever notice howthe girls who bytch the most about Playboy are always the hags who could never make the cut for Playboy? Food for thought, huh?" Jenny in black bikini with black boy-cut trunks with a little white Playboy Bunny insignia at the hip; small black gloves; white sneakers-and-socks. Kate in scarlet twist-tie bikini top; scarlet boy cut trunks with white belt; small red gloves; messy puncher's ponytail; white sneakers and socks. Women refuse to touch 'em up: Jenny seething; Kate oozing contempt. At ringside - huge contingent of Playboy celebs (including Hef of course). Interested Playmates caught in the camera's pan: Barbi Benton, Brande Roderick, Pam Anderson; Vicki Silvstedt; Stacy Sanches; Shannon Tweed; Janice Pennington, Katana Baker. There's apartment and La Conquista legend - not to mention boxing impressario - Heather Kozar; Playboy boxing legend Dona Speir; lingerie phenom Rebecca Ferrati; torrid-punching scrapper Kelly Monaco. Notable by her absence is one Carmella Decesare - one of the few in her weight class to deny Kate Beckinsale satisfaction.

 

During R1: Hard exchange of right hands hurts Kate - she stumbles away all perplexed as Mac brings the heat early. Becks circles - scooting footwork and a nice straight back - she's pecking away straight, pinging one-twos to keep Jenny off through the second minute. Mac cutting off the ring, gets her own jab through to Kate's breasts late, followed by another clocking right to chin: Beckinsale babysteppin', looking outgunned as Jenny dictates.

 

R2: Becks gets her legs back - she starts pumping stick in earnest, tapping at Jenny's face and chest. Blonde pursuing, but frustrated - Kate's educated poke finding the mark, pre-empting the blonde. Kate deploying a no-nonsense straight right in concert - knocking at Jenny's face; brunette scooting to the side after scoring. Becks wheeling left with crisp heel-and-toe pivots - hands up, palms down as she motors around and gets off snappy Second minute sees Kate progress down-torso - coming off headshots to dig firm rights and lefts to Jenny's waist, just at the trunk line. Mac grunting, stooping forward behind her mitts: Kate finishing off the sequences with workmanlike hooks tucked in behind Jmac's right elbow. Down the stretch, Kate circling right lights Jenny up thus: Right cross to chin (palm-down chopper); pair of tucking left hooks to liver; left uppercut to chin; left hook (palm-down, carving left-to-right) to jugs; right cross to chin. Every punch lands in tart, tic-tac-toe rhythm: Jenny shocked at the accrual, legs buckling as she nearly sits down at the bell. Smouldering look of satisfaction as Kate struts past, answering Jenny's power with precision combinations in the second.

 

R3: Kate bopping out - ponytail swishing side to side as she pivots 'round her planted left (front) foot. Kate's hands shoulder-high, palms down - she's pecking double jabs at Jenny's face; hooking her palm-down to jaw; chopping a feisty right hand very short to mouth or cheek. Jenny facing into this stuff early - taking a brisk touching-up, frequently missing receipts and over-exposing herself. Beckinsale crisply about her blonde - knocking and chopping at Jenny and BECKINSALE GOES DOWN! Booming right hand counter - Jenny staking all on a looping overhand - crashes off Kate's face, dashing her to her back. Thunderous roar as crowd jumps to collective feet - Jenny pounding her right hand against her chest, shrieking at Kate to "GET UP!" as ref's bodying her back. Becks proves a warrior - rolling over right hip to struggle up: magnificent springy legs now humming and rubbery as she collects herself at ropes. ON COMES JENNY! Mac joyously at Kate - blonde setting her feet and wailing away - jugs sloshing side to side as she twitches torso into the pasting lefts and rights. POOR KATIE! Becks covering up shabby - sitting into ropes, bobbing low, rotating her torso - OH the shellack she's shipping. Jenny grinning huge, starts hoisting right uppercuts, straightening Kate up and JENNY GETS ROCKED! Becks chopping a desperation short right off the ropes clips Jenny to chin as Mac's lifting a right uppie: quick palm-down left hook/palm-down right cross and DOWN GOES JENNY! Mac on her back, blinking up at lights - Beckinsale reeling, all busted up and stunned herself: Jenny's turn to gut-up and get off her back. Jenny swaying at ropes - Kate limps-to, grimly determined to polish this bunny off. HAMMER AND FREAKIN' TONGS! Jenny snarling, legs threatening to go, but she's bending in right hands, DRIFTING Kate to chin. Becks slugging straight rights/left hooks, but Jenny's determined right hands are connecting time and again to chin, knocking back Beck's head, buckling her legs. BELL: Jenny pasting Katie, beating her into her stupor off the ropes. Beckinsale's under-rated legs hold her up, but she's staring-woozy as ref pushes her back. Excited Playmates up off their seats, shrieking encouragement to surging Jenny. Kozar maintaining composure of course, smiling and enjoying McCarthy's output, but not spazzing out like the rest of the girls.

 

R4: Banged up beauties proceed with caution: slower pace benefits Kate who sets up behind her jab, doubling it chippy to Jen's face. McCarthy facing into poke, stalking her prey - a minute in she finally times a slinging right over Beckinsale's stick, turning brunette head. KATE'S LEGS GIVE A SHIMMY! Becks hurt again - scoots away with dukes at her temples - Jenny hungrily pursuing stunned brunette to ropes. Swinging right roundhouse thumps off Kate's ribcage; torrid hook rips at Kate's bikini-top knot. Jenny on top - eyes narrowed as she works in and out, hitting Kate two hard strikes, then sliding out of range, then edging back in to repeat pattern. Final minute, Beckinsale rallies, times Jenny coming in, beats blonde to blunt right hands in exchange: JENNY'S LEGS GIVE WAY! McCarthy spilling face first to ropes as Kate sidesteps: Beckinsale squares away, lets her hands go. Mac covering up face-in-gloves, desperately shook: she slumps into ropes on her right hip and shoulder, cowering under a desperation pasting from Becks to the bell. KATE BANKS INSURANCE! Beckinsale belting away well after the break - ref pulls groggy brunette off wilting prey, walks her to her corner with a stream of warnings. Angry Playmates screaming bloody murder: how many times have they seen Beckinsale take liberties with hurting bunnies?

 

R5: Kate two-jabbing Jenny, pivoting left: brunette disciplined, always establishing her poke. Mac stalking, taking early, but evening things up with a sudden, shocking right hand counter over top, tossing Kate's head aside. Blonde buckles brunette legs - Jenny's power-counters startiing to break the crisply-executing Kate down. Beckinsale changing direction on shaky stems - trying to shake pursuit: Jenny walking Kate down, jabbing her to breasts, then dropping opportunistic right hands. Down the stretch - Kate two-jabs Jenny with that pawing palm-down poke; hooks off it (palm-down) while pivoting left, neatly slipping an overhand right in the process. Jenny falling forward with her right (back) foot - feet momentarily parallel: Kate takes advantage. Left jab/quick right hand smites Jenny's face tic-tock - straightening her up in blinking wonder. Harder palm-down hook as Kate steps in - Jenny tottering back on her heels, feet out of position. Slamming right as Kate leans into it, steps her right foot forward and brings a left cross onto Jenny's face.

 

Mac catching flush, stumbling backward then SPLASHING DOWN TO HER BACK. Becks 'unable' to control her momentum - she tramples Jenny - brunette right foot stepping into the right armpit/shoulder joint of her stunned opponent. Mac blurting in groggy pain, rolling to her right, then flopping back down to her back, lashes batting. IT'S OVER! Jenny Mac can't get off her back - left hand gripping semi-consciously at her right shoulder as she's counted out. KO5 Kate Beckinsale in a BARN BURNER!

 

After: Kate ALL banged up, dazed with punishment - but she gamely hangs around as the Playboy Bunny inscribed with Jenny's name on it is attached to the bracelet on her outstretched arm. Jenny brought around on her stool - blonde a little sloppy against a very sharp, accurate combination puncher, makes one mistake too many on the night. Kate struts to Jenny's corner and extends her arm, jangling the charms as Jenny looks up. "PHUK YOU!" Jenny screams - struggling against her trainer who holds her back. Battered Becks seething with satisfaction, tormenting Jenny until security arrives to separate increasingly hostile entourages. Knee-jerk reaction in the truck plugs the Swan Lake tape in: no telling what can happen when Playmates get hot.

 

(Repost courtesy of Sceej)

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