Posted by simguy 4-8-06

Tale of two classic blondes, veterans both, in hatred mutual, and each burdened by noisome speculation coming in. "Is Theron Tired?" Magazine covers and Tractorpull reporters bleat: she's coming in off a draining siege of BSE fighters and has had her will sorely tested in her last half a dozen contests. "Is Ryan Ready?" Those same sources question, suggesting that if Charlize has been TOO active, Ryan hasn't seen action enough. "I've been enjoying my titles,"Jeri shrugs defensively, answering critics at the podium. "I'm not some ingenue fresh off the bus who needs rounds just to hone her craft: I'm a finished product - I know how to fight. I'm fresher than Charlize - I've always been stronger at ANY weight, and I WILL tuck her in when the time comes." Ryan in crimson bikini - Charlize in green bikini top, gold string bottoms.

During R1: Charlize on her toes early, hands low, but keeping herself well out of range, coaxing exploratory jabs from Ryan. Theron dropping pull-counters (right hands) over Jeri's low left - nice clanging impact on Ryan's sturdy chin - she takes it well, but CT's timing, accuracy impeccable early. Charlize ranging the ring, reversing directions, using her legs - not a lot of contact - a few sterling right hands, the odd stiff jab between the breasts as Theron breezes to a shutout over a stalking champion.

R2: Ryan shrugging off Theron's insistent right hand counters - champ keeps stepping in the jab, closes distance this round, gets some work done. Jeri able to sling a sidearm right into Charlize' ribs, put the hook on top: Theron immediately standing flatfooted to answer with her own lanky punches, body and head. Wonderful stuff - Girls at middle distance, chins tucked, dukes up, elbows in and relaxed as they take turns hammering away. Ryan: swinging right hand loud to the flank; lapping hook on the ear; a more serious hook tucked snug behind Theron's right elbow. Theron: short right uppercut scraped across the grill of Ryan's guard; looped right hand to the ear; looped left hand to the ear; mop-up left uppercut against the guard as Ryan bends forward. Back and forth - girls putting together long-limbed, but compact, very strong 3s and 4s - nice spanking exchanges as Ryan bangs out toe-to-toe points: neither girl taking a step back.

R3: Hot boxing - Charlize more mobile, using her educated feet to engage, then disengage, maneuvering Jeri around the ring. Theron willowy at times, gliding to either side, then slashing in to work - she's leading right hands to get Jeri covering up, then licking at the ribs, tucking into jug and tummy as Ryan rides it out. Jeri answering in spots - waiting for Theron to finish, then answering back stout left hooks, turning on short right hands. CT eating the occasional B right hand as she backs away to regroup: Theron shaking her head "No" after such rude connects, as though Jeri can't hurt her.

R4: Similar stuff, Charlize just working on the problem, stepping in and out - she's dictating terms while Jeri's waiting her turn. Ryan stalking, but Theron's tasty counter-right hand has suppressed champion's jab - Jeri's letting CT potshot her on the way in. Theron measuring distance, keeping her left loose, swirling it in little circles, waving it, pawing it, backhanding it - always dangling it in Jeri's face then spanking her a hotshot right hand on the chin. Ryan bearing up well, but pinking up nicely: she's getting tagged too clean, too often - giving up her chin at bargain prices to Theron's slashing right hand.

R5: Theron tough to Jeri's gut with cranking hooks: Ryan stooping forward behind her guard, paralyzed as CT arches her back, hoists 'em in. Good thick thumping - Theron able to score, step to the right with a merry glint in her eyes: Jeri's slowing down, starting to grimace. CT rotating, stepping in: right hands adding up wide in Ryan's flank; tightly curled hooks banging away at the guard upstairs, partially blocked shots bumping Jeri's face off her mitts. CT stepping back, getting right uppercuts off her right foot, left uppies off her left foot, then sidestepping: Ryan wobbly butt, stumbling past, starting to break down. Final minute - Jeri inching forward, hurt behind her gloves - CT walking her girl into carving, workmanlike blows and RYAN TAKES A KNEE! Jeri breathing through pursed lips, eyes narrowed in pain: Theron strutting to neutral corner with a happy glow, starting to take the champ apart in the fifth.

R6: Ryan trudges out, jabs: eats a tart right hand for her trouble. Jeri leans into a slow right hand, coming up short as CT weaves back out of range: Theron slaps a hook upside the temple; drills a harsh right cross; wheels 'round Jeri's left flank as Ryan rushes to form her guard. CT with that playful, loose left - just pestering Ryan with it, waving and swirling, brushing jug, then stinging cheek with it - she's got Jeri flinching, batting at incoming stick like Kong trying to ward off those pesky biplanes. Theron making dazzling use of the distractions, setting down and lighting Jeri up sudden right hands bingo on the chin and mouth: crisp, sharp contacts have Jeri stumbling at the minute mark. Ryan reaching with her shots, leaning forward - Charlize just HARVESTING chin with chopping rights, sliding back to lure Ryan forward in groggy disarray. Midway through, HARD right cross on the chin shakes Ryan to her foundations: she tilts forward behind her guard; Theron on her front foot jerks in the tidiest left uppercut to the body she's ever thrown, neatly taking Ryan in the sternum and dropping champ breathless to her knees! Charlize tossing her golden mane, beaming en route to neutral corner: Jeri wheezing, fights off certain doom to take a ragged 8 at the ropes. ON COMES CHARLIZE! Theron reaching to palm up first, pressing Jeri into ropes, then squaring away on her. Beating starts in the waist - chugging lefts and rights hoisted firm to tummy - creeping barrage slams up-torso, finally pancaking those hulking jugs with vigour. Jeri undone, ragdoll from hungry jug-mug - she's reaching 'round Charlize shoulders, trying to tie up, but challenger will have none of it. Theron rampant, resplendent, slugging away to her heart's content: when Jeri's mouthpiece flops off her teeth and helpless tears start to flow - ref steps in and calls a halt to the bombardment. TKO6 for the winner and NEW welterweight champ - Charlize Theron.

After: Theron hoisting belts, glorying in the heaviness of gold and leather - she paves the way to Ryan with Jenny O'Dell, denying the latter to plunder the former. "Jeri didn't want to fight," Charlize breezes in postfight, face virtually unblemished for a change. "Of all the old broads still wheezing their way into boxing rings, I think she's the most shopworn - she wouldn't stand a chance against Bell at this point, and I think even O'Dell's probably got too much for Jeri now. But enough about Jeri: I'M champ again and that's all that matters!"