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8 Aug 2008 Kaley Cuoco vs Ali Larter

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 3 months ago

Posted by simguy on 8/8/2008, 6:31 pm

Before: "Kaley needs to be humbled," Ali states at the podium in prefight. "Seriously - girl's getting a lit-tle too big for her britches. I know BLONDE! Magazine's calling her the uncrowned Queen these days, but give me a break: Kaley Cuoco isn't even a true top 5 lightweight in my books. It's been a long time since someone has really dug at Kaley - gotten on top of her and worked her. You're going to see me penetrate, then scrub - I'll take away her legs and make her fight. I wouldn't be surprised if Cuoco gets beat up in this one: she's not ready for full-throttle Ali Larter."


Cuoco grinning as she takes the podium, clearly amused at Larter's in-your-face stance. "Ali, let me show your something," Kaley smiles, casually pulling up the bottom of her black tank top to reveal toned, tanned abls. Larter blushing at the blatant tummy-reveal: nothing's more insulting between fighting females, celeb or otherwise. "You go at this, and you're going to regret it. Didn't you get the memo? Nobody's tried to bully me for like, two years. Why? Because I worked hard to make everyone who tried pay the price. You will not make a living going at my body, Ali: I'm too much for you straight up. You've got six weeks: go back to the drawing board, sit down with your people and start chalking out plan B - because what you're talking about right now is looking like career suicide."


Kaley in frisky ponytail with messy bangs; black tie-side bikini; small black workout gloves. Ali in fighting ponytail with wispy bangs framing face; yellow bikini with ring connections; small black work out gloves. Larter standing hands on hips, giving Kaley close-scrutiny during Cuoco's weigh in: two very fit, evenly matched blondes looking dyn-o-mite for this one.

During R1: Kaley in closed stance, left shoulder pointed at Ali; left across the gut; right under the chin. Larter stalking, crouching, hands up near her mouth - the left fist clenched, the right hand open. Kaley skittish - rolling her left shoulder, feinting, jabbing at Ali's chest, chopping the right hand, then pivoting briskly left. Ali spitting jabs up the middle - quick little bobs on the way in, then vicious overhand rights chopped to chin. Kaley rolling with Ali's right - looking to come back the bolo-right uppercut to the body: juicy two way stuff as both girls display top notch athleticism. Kaley getting the cleaner touches - even bunching Ali up with the right uppercut to the body at one point. Larter taking Kaley's power well, but getting out-boxed through 1.

R2: Kaley works her magic, circling Ali midring, curling in from angles, getting off and getting gone as Larter covers up in confusion. All Kaley - displaying sudden fast-twitch lead right hands, ripping double hooks, brisk combinations: poor Larter repeatedly rocked and buzzed - covering up and crouching down as she's strafed. Larter's head bustin' back from jolting rights straight up the middle; Larter's tummy twitching under hot licks - pasting right/lefts bounced off tummy as Larter's stooping forward in earmuff. Kaley humming, smoothly pivoting to her left, eyes bright and alert, body spring-coiled, her punches so abrupt and crisp. Down the stretch, Ali's crouching forward, hands at her temples: Kaley unleashes a blistering flurry - tic-tac-toe rights and lefts peppering the ears and shoulders of her girl, followed by a pair of limber, swiping hooks slashed across the lower back. Ref barks warning at the bell: Larter glaring accusingly as she arches her back in pain. Kaley shrugs in apology, but says: "You were bending down too far."

R3: Same Kaley air-supremacy - less intensity on the punches as Cuoco's content to contain Larter. Cuoco's splendid footwork, oily feints keeping Ali hesitant: Kaley able to penetrate at will, flurry, and get out as Larter covers up tight. Ali switching to a V front - her elbows drawn together beneath her jugs, hands up either side of her face - she's trying to come forward incrementally, daring the Cuoco outbursts. Kaley springy on her feet, elastic with her punches - pelting away at the V with pinging lead rights, ringing hooks, scraping left uppercuts. Larter doing a good job of blocking, stabilizes herself this round - but it's all Cuoco getting off, moving around, being pretty at Ali's expense through 3.

R4: Kaley attacks the V front thusly: right/left dug at the trunk line, either side of Ali's collected elbows; sudden, jerking left uppercut - splitting Ali's mitts, clipping her chin. LARTER TAKES A KNEE! Ali's back (right) leg gives way, kneeling her down: Kaley yelps with delight - jogs all ponytails and jugs a-jumpin' to neutral corner. Ali creaks on up, shaking her head: she's rocked, but serviceable - bitterly disappointed in her legs. After 8 - Cuoco attacking with brisk, straight one-twos against the guard - Larter backs up, blinking, thinking it's her turn. Kaley steps in - swipes a right hand off her left foot across Larter's mouth; switches to right foot to swipe a left across - tic-tocking Larter's head and DROPPING HER ON HER BUTT! Ali all cranky/astonished, on her buns, face pinched in pain: Kaley reaches down to give Ali's ponytail a playful flick as Cuoco's jogging to neutral corner again. Larter up at 8, growling "I'm fine!" at the ref: fight resumes. Kaley stoops, quick-jabs tummy, bounces out to her right, weight on right foot. Larter punches one-two at Kaley's left shoulder: Cuoco rolls-with, comes back underneath with a vicious right uppercut, pounding Ali to sternum; Larter shouts "UH!" in shock. Down the stretch, Kaley dancing to her right - pinging straight right leads to make tapping contact in between Larter's eyes: Ali turning, facing woozy into these nuisance punches, unable to answer at the bell. Kaley grinning, swaggering back to her corner; Larter busting up, getting buried on the cards - only her phenomenal conditioning and warrior's heart keeping her in the fight.

R5: Kaley pounds the right/left either side of Ali's grouped elbows, catching a fair bit of the trunk line: Larter groans, stepping back and TAKING A KNEE! Ali blinking back tears, shouts "She's LOW ref!" Kaley frowning - shouting "COME on, Ali!" Larter takes 8 - faces into the fury once again as Cuoco circles clockwise midring, looking to dart in, get off, get out. Kaley lashing the first buggywhip right hands of the night - hacking at Ali's left hip, as well as her hairline - Cuoco so supple slinging that punch onto Larter. Ali rallying well - she's stepping forward in the V, beginning to thrust out a hammer-drop Winky Wright style jab - knocking at Kaley and finally disrupting her. Final minute - Larter actually beginning to direct traffic with the jab - quickly bringing the mitt back to form V, blocking any reprisals. Countering at the bell, Larter drops a short left/right hammer style onto Kaley's chin after blocking a Cuoco flurry: Kaley put wobbly butt for the first time - backing off in wonder as Ali proves resilient. Strong effort off the canvas for Ali converts a 10-8 Cuoco round into 10-9.


Larter/Cuoco conc.


Posted by simguy on 8/8/2008, 6:31 pm, in reply to "Kaley Cuoco vs Ali Larter pt1"


R6: Larter encroaching behind the V guard - dropping her hands hammer-style onto Kaley, then quickly reforming to block receipts. Cuoco stymied, repulsed on her pounce-ins: she's circling wider now, frowning with concentration. Larter shows good leg - cutting the ring off on her mobile quarry - utilizing that swift, chopping, hammer-drop jab to pre-empt and disrupt Kaley. Very economical, safety-first stuff from Larter: she chops hammer-drop left/rights to Kaley's upper-chest and chin, works the jab well to finally get on the board.

R7: Larter continues to make inroads - walking Kaley down behind the rigid V - jabbing her to ribbons, cleaning up with knocking left/rights - even edging in close to hook the ribcage and waist before Cuoco legs out of range. Cuoco unable to penetrate as she had been: Ali pre-empting with the jab, cleaning up well to the body and head - sending Kaley scrambling back outside with lumps for her trouble. Final minute, Ali blocks a flurry, drops a tidy left/right onto Kaley's mouth and stuns Cuoco again. Ali quickly over to offence, hooking Kaley's chin, then crossing the right hand; Cuoco ducks low to slip underneath - comes back a snappy hook to waist/doubled up hook to chin and LARTER'S ROCKED! Ali stepping in fence post holes as KALEY goes over to offence. Cuoco pivoting to her right, releasing rising, slinging lefts and rights from her hips, swiping away in clanging fashion to Ali's chin. LARTER'S GETTING PASTED! Ali's head jerking and toggling - Kaley getting rights off her left foot/lefts off her right foot, just a-belting her rival. Ali staggers into ropes, covers up earmuff, desperately hurt when bell sounds to rob Cuoco of a finishing run. Kaley steals a big Ali Larter round with sudden power - pouncing on mistakes like a champ.

R8: Kaley changes tack to deal with Ali's sturdy V: Cuoco shouldering-in, electing to swipe away inside. Kaley supple here - left shoulder/extended left elbow pressing into Larter's front to locate her, then Cuoco brings short, swiping/cuffing combos to bear on the problem. Girls grunting in close - Larter pushing against Kaley's shoulder, chopping back at her ribs and breasts - thirsty work as both girls get off short-n'-mean. Kaley attacking the base of the V - snatching right/lefts either side of the elbows, nibbling at the trunk line: Larter tight-lipped, ashen-faced as Cuoco chops at her body so. Gradual dominance shown by Cuoco as Larter's output drops: by the end, Kaley's snapping punches off the body, biceps and flanks - in particular a juicy double-left hook taking Ali in behind that right tricep. Larter wobbly butt back to her corner: Cuoco sees the tell-tale trunk-trembling, brightens in response, winks at her corner.

R9: Kaley edges back inside: more of the supple, subtle bump-n'-grind as she attempts to break down her sturdy foe. Larter tucked in behind her V, chopping back short n' swift - but Kaley's sumptuous body licks taking a terrible toll. By the minute mark, Larter's cramped, not punching back - she's tilting forward, just trying to crowd her tormentress. Kaley using the left shoulder in Ali's chest to steer her: Cuoco licking and swatting away, tucking into Ali's ribs and tummy, then coming up top with uppercuts to split the mitts. Kaley so well balanced - able to slug with authority off either foot: her uppercuts are short, shrugging masterpieces, picking up Ali's groggy face time and time again. Larter a wonderfully conditioned blonde - able to stand in and take this murderous abuse - but she's lumping up, slowing down as Kaley puts her wobbly butt again in the 9th.

R10: Kaley back outside, fresh as daisies - circling a crippled, broke-down Ali Larter with heartless glee. Cuoco resuming her up-tempo penetrate-and-escape offence: tough to watch as groaning Ali covers up, tilts into it and absorbs the combinations best she can. Kaley licking and swatting away, ripping to the waist just at the trunkline, arching her back as she gets in there all succulent. Kaley bouncing her hook off Ali's ribs - getting the spanking punch off her front foot, bringing the mitt back quick. Kaley wheeling to either side, prowling on the balls of her feet: she's got this - both girls know it; look on Ali's battered face is heartbreaking. Down the stretch - Kaley freezes Ali with a glittering flurry of lefts and rights - pelting away on the V front. Pausing to reload, Kaley shifts weight to left (front) foot, digging a pair of short, pumping lefts just to the right of Ali's grouped elbows. Larter shudders in pain, crying out: "MUHH!" knees buckling: Kaley comes off the body with a shout, lighting Ali up a glorious left uppercut to chin. Larter's head jerks - back leg gives way: she sinks down to her right knee, beaten into compliance by the bell. Not a stoppage - Larter easing herself upright to take this to the cards: comes back a shockingly wide UD10 Kaley Cuoco.

After: Stunning dismissal - Kaley Cuoco perhaps fighting the best, highest quality fight of her life - comparable in many respects to her Biel-busting effort: she just simply dismantles a double-tough and world-class blonde tonight in Ali Larter. Larter all puffy and solemn in defeat - she's got some work to do - physically and psychologically - to shake off the bitter sting of Kaley tonight. "I'm loving this right now," Kaley crows in postfight, glowing with the enormity of her Larter-trouncing. "Ali's probably my stiffest competition outside of Jessica Biel - and I just put my foot ALL the way up her butt tonight. I had the best camp of my life, and I felt so good coming to the ring. I know how good Ali is, but tonight, I would have taken any lightweight in the world apart - Erica, Jessica, Charlize, Kelly Brook - any of 'em! Ali couldn't handle my footwork, my handspeed, my power. I hurt her to the body, I checked her chin. Gotta give her credit for refusing to quit, because it had to have been on her mind. She's a veteran fighter and at some point, she knew it wasn't going to be her night. She could easily have stayed down and nobody would have blamed her, so I do respect her for that."

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