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9 Feb 2008 Lacey Chabert vs Lindsay Lohan

Page history last edited by Dradis 11 years, 11 months ago

Posted by simguy on 2/9/2008

 

Before: "Yeah, Lacey was the first," Lindsay says of her pioneering JMD challenger, "but that was when the sport was still practically underground - just a way for no-hopers to make a few bucks on the side. Now, big time fighters fight JMD - it's clearly a different level of competition - a level far above short-stuff's pretty brown head. Don't worry boys: I'll paste Lacey out, then get to the good stuff just as quick as I can!" Chabert all crossed arms and flaring nostrils throughout - she's well aware of Lohan's snooty 'tude. "Lohan's flattering herself - as usual, because no one else will. I can't wait to kick the stuffing out of this girl. Seriously, it's all I can do not to walk over there and slap her face right now." Lohan stands - security moves in as Chabert steps away from podium with hostile intentions. Lohan in jaunty nautical two piece: navy top with brass ring connection betwixt jug; white/baby blue diagonal striped bottoms with little baby blue anchors; white gloves; long blonde hair tied back in pretty crown braid. Lacey in white bra and panties from Maxim cover, white gloves.

 

R1: Midring - Lacey shoves both dukes out into Lohan's breasts, knocking Lilo off balance as she's trying an overhand right: Chabert able to step forward, scrub jug back and forth with a raucous little shoeshine. Lohan driven backwards, firms at the apron, lugging a thick right hand to the pit of Chabert's stomach, then swinging a wide right hand to ear, punching Lacey off to one side. Lohan over to offence, slugging rights and lefts from her hips - free-swinging shellack takes Lacey in her tummy and back as she turns away face-in-gloves, Lohan pouring in off Chabert's left side. Lacey bullied to ropes - she's still face in gloves, under constant threat: Lohan bares teeth, sloshes away wide, rangy, pasting blows, sitting Lacey in ropes. Lilo gets to jammin': elbows up and out to either side as she plows flat-knuckle punches in behind Lacey's elbows: Chabert bawling behind her mitts, suffering. With Lacey softened, Lilo reaches in, chests Lacey upright against ropes, working hard to wrestle the guard away then JOY TO THE WORLD, LILO GOES RACK! Lohan's face brightens as she plows in, jamming greedy rights and lefts in criss-cross to jug. LACEY GOES DOWN! Chabert sputtering, spills to her left, tumbles to canvas: Lilo pursuing, bulling Lacey onto her back. Lilo on her her knees off Lacey's left shoulder - blonde bracing with her left hand off Lacey's right side while Lilo's right hand delivers jackhammer up-down stamping action to jug. Chabert blurting in pain, jerking and shuddering under the mound-pounding. Ref pulls a giddy Lilo up and off with a gut-wrench - Lilo's slender legs kicking wildly in the air as she batters Lacey in the first.

 

R2: Brawlers wade in crazy, quickly embrace as punches wrap around: this thing falls to canvas all thrashing legs and squealing vixens. Torrid, useless slapping as the girls roll one atop the other - eventually resolving into more useful play when fighters establish on their knees. Left arms ride around opposition shoulders; right hands plug and plow underneath - tummies, trunks, jug all roundly thumped until ref can pull 'em up, shake 'em out. Right back at it - girls shrieking, pinwheeling at each other, embracing, falling to the deck, writhing to get on top and jam away. At one point, Lilo finds herself bent over the bottom rope - torso out of the ring as Lacey rises up on her knees to plow repeat right hands feverishly to raised Lilo buttocks. At another, Lilo actually mounts Lacey, sitting in the girl's stomach and wailing away lefts and rights as a panicked Chabert covers up, bucks her hips and screams for the ref. Simply wild: red faced ref reads both corners the riot act, dabbing his head with a handkerchief and looking frazzled.

 

R3: Sounds like Japanese wrestling in there as the girls shriek and cuss, pulling or tackling each other down to canvas, then squirming to be the girl on top. Lilo on all fours; Lacey up on her knees, off Lohan's left side; Chabert with her left looped round Lohan's ribs to secure as Chabert slams away mindless rights to left hip, thigh, buttock and flank. Chabert seated with legs outstretched; Lilo on her knees in behind, left arm roped around Lacey's face while right hand clubs up and over Chabert's right shoulder to slam against heaving Lacey-jug. Ref standing little hellions up: they ram together and tumble down again - legs stamping, backsides jiggling. Down the stretch, Lacey's able to push a standing Lohan back into ropes, then smear her sideways: Lindsay's left side presented as Lacey rides her left forearm atop Lilo's upper back, securing her for plowing rights in the body. Lilo shouting in protest, but taking a hammering: Lacey's able to put together a series of official scoring blows to actually take a swampy third.

 

R4: Both girls ragged, mouthbreathing, fueled by pure hate now. They slap and paw jabs, then fall in with right hands, straining to muscle the other into ropes. Once there, more wrestling to pry apart the other's guard, or shove her into a compromising position, then jugs and bodies are plowed without mercy. Both women savaged in turn - each crying out when punished; each intoxicated when doling out damage. Lohan with her elbows up and out to the side has Lacey butt-in-ropes, weepy as Lilo's able to jam away at flanks and back while Lacey wilts forward in stupor.

 

R5: Stumbling action from exhausted beauties. Lacey will push her left hand across Lilo's breasts and walk into her, driving the blonde to ropes. Lilo will wrap up Lacey's head and twist her into ropes, then plow a sleepy right hand into trembling Chabert guts. Lacey's hands reach under Lilo's armpits, shoving the blonde ragdoll into ropes - Lilo badly jostled, open for drifting rights to mouth and jug. Gasping, breathy whimpers replace the eager shrieks of the early rounds - both girls sloppy, stumbling about, but still mindlessly trying to get at the other. Both girls work out of the wrap - riding the left round her foe's shoulders, slumping her forward for pumping rights jug and tummy. Suffering in the wrap, both girls just sob out, eyelashes fluttering as resistance is beaten down all around.

 

R7: Lilo staggering out, waving weak punches: Lacey's actually able to target blonde chin with shorter, straight blows, catching Lilo hard and shunting her off to either side. Lilo's legs ragged, loose - she's stamping around, eyelashes fluttering, lips parted - swinging wide, slow blows as Chabert senses collapse. Lacey deliberately takes Lilo down with a shoot to the waist, slamming blonde to her back hard: Lindsay's head hits canvas, arms fly out to either side: she gives up a series of uncontested right hands to her breasts until ref pulls wriggling Chabert off. Now Lacey's on the attack, exhausted herself, but smelling blood: she finds Lohan with a gambling right on the face, drives Lindsay to ropes. Chabert pouring in, bodying up; hoisting Lilo up under her armpits and shoving her bodily into ropes. Lacey crams her right hand to Lohan's crotch in close, crowding in with her body on follow through: Lilo cries out, shudders, drowsily clinches. Chabert pushing Lohan's arms away, stays on that body: more right hands plow to tummy as Chabert snakes her left arm 'round Lilo's back. Lindsay blubbering sleepily - trying to close up her clinch with her left arm - but Chabert keeps pushing it away with her right, then plowing back in with rights tummy and jug. Lilo can't stop it - she's seated in ropes, head lolling, body loose and being held up by Chabert's cruel wrap: Lacey just a-plowin', plugging right hands tummy and jug, tummy and jug and THE REF STEPS IN! Lohan swooning, drowsy - she mumbles a protest into the man's chest as she's cradled to safety while Lacey Chabert bounds away the TKO7 winner and NEW JMD champ.

 

After: Lilo getting salts on her stool - she's weepy, sleepy and CHABERT ROARS IN! Lacey scattering BSE corner guys like bowling pins, tackling Lindsay off her stool and feverishly trying to bury Lindsay's face in the hungriest rack anyone's seen in ages.

 

Lilo on her right hip, her right arm over the bottom rope: Lacey pulls blonde face into jug, but it's a poor clamp from an awkward posture. Lindsay manages to turn her face to the right: we see it unhappy, cramped, peeking out from the crook of Lacey's strong left arm.

 

Chabert stands, her left in Lindsay's hair, right pulling at Lindsay's slender left arm to get blonde upright. Lohan jammed hard into turnbuckle, then Lacey's pushing in again, squirming so vigorously it's like she's starving for Lohan.

 

Linds manages to get her left arm up into Lacey's grasping arms - blonde twisting to her right as Chabert hugs head and arm while pushing in. Lacey frustrated, holds Linds in place with the left around the face while delivering short, pummeling right hands to Lohan's exposed kidneys. Lindsay cries out, slumps: Lacey's able to wrestle her square and finally secure that full-on reverse sleeper.

 

Lacey's left arm round behind Lilo's head; Lacey's left arm gripping her right bicep - her right hand forming a fist in Lohan's soft blonde locks. Look of pure fury on Lacey's face as she glares into the crowd, her arms cinching up on poor Lindsay. Lohan's hands push at Lacey's merciless brown hips, then reach up to pull at brawny shoulders.

 

Chabert gives it a minute in the oven, then takes handfuls of hair at Lohan's temples, pulling her face back out. Lohan: eyes closed, eyebrows high, lips parted in swoon, face all clammy white and pasty. Lacey wipes Lilo's face with the palm of her hand to clear stray hair away, then licks Lohan chin to eye left side of Lilo's face. "NOPE - NOT DONE YET!" Chabert shouts,promptly jamming Lohan's face back in where it belongs.

 

Lindsay's got another minute in her, then her arms dangle down - she's just sitting in ropes, nuzzling jug. Chabert releases with a flourish, allowing Lohan to jackknife slowly forward, pooling in stages to her right side. Happy Lacey pats her right hand twice atop her cleavage, then thrusts her arms up: attendants quickly move in, affix the diamond studded bra-apparatus over top Lacey's push up; pin the tiara to her hair. Lohan slumbering, oblivious to Chabert's jubilant hootings.

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