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9 February 2008 Sarah Carter vs Reese Witherspoon

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 12 months ago


Originally posted by Simguy on 2/9/2008, 9:04 am.


Before: “Reese’s attitude is unbelievable,” as a thoroughly vexed Sarah C in prefight. “Just because I come out of TV doesn’t mean I can’t fight—it’s ridiculous. Maybe in the 50’s, movie stars were clearly superior to TV girls, but come on! The best fighters in the sport all come from TV and Reese is a prime example of why we kick butt on movie girls all the time.”


Witherspoon dismissive at the podium, as she has throughout the promotion. “I don’t respect TV ‘stars’ because they lack skill and class—not because I’m a snob,” Witherspoon smiles, “Sarah’s a typical whiny little blonde who nobody knows until she gets in with a Reese Witherspoon. I don’t hold her lack of talent or celebrity against her: I just look at her skimpy body and automatically assume I’m gonna plow right through her. That isn’t ‘attitude’ honey, that’s reality.


Reese in baby blue tie-side bikini; white gloves. Sarah in gold bikini, black gloves.


During R1: Sarah boxing pretty Reese stalking sturdy. Witherspoon’s dukes at temples—stepping forward, crouching: Sarah roaming the ring leggy—stitching in jabs or lead right hands from springy legs, then hopping out of range to circle in fresh. Sarah dictating with her feet and quick licks: Reese scoring tuff right/lefts in Sarah’s stomach whenever Witherspoon can crouch inside Carter’s jab.


R2: Same again—Sarah using the ring, darting in and out, eyes narrowed, lips slightly snarled. Quick-stitch punching from Sarah—occasionally she’ll swat the hook upstairs to set up a a snatching, hot hook to Reese’s paunch before disengaging. Witherspoon walking Sarah down, crouching as Sarah jabs—sometimes able to edge inside and bounce a pair off Carter’s taut midriff before Sarah’s clinch.


R3: Same again: Sarah with air-superiority via the jab and darting movement. Reese blocking a lot of shots, but face pinking up nicely as Carter’s fists begin to tell. Sarah getting lovely whip on that hook to Reese’s belly off the set-up hook to the her ear: Carter’s swiping handspeed clearly superior. Reese continues to land heavy blows to Sarah’s ribcage and tummy—good thump sounding out from slender blonde torso. Sarah’s round again—Witherspoon unconcerned in her corner, taking on water, looking calm and unflappable.


R4: Sarah drills a lead right, reloads and gets it springy to Reese’s face before Witherspoon can react: Reese is hurt. Sarah hops out, then in: another lead right, followed by a quick-swipe hook across Reese’s breasts. Sarah hops out, steps right, feints the lead right, leads the hook instead, catching Reese a lanky whip on the mouth, sending wide-eyed Oscar winner stumbling back on her heels. Reese covers up, blocks Sarah’s next pounce: Carter disengaging, circling counterclockwise, looking things over, Tactical second minute sees Sarah stitch in and out behind her jab—scoring to breadbasket and face with nifty poke. Down the stretch, Reese crouches deep as Sarah pounces in, Carter’s flurry bounces off scalp and shoulders; she steps back outside and EATS THE HOOK! Reese erupting, carrying her curves into Sarah and clocking her fat to chin; CARTER GOES DOWN! Sarah scooting along her keister, face stricken: Reese showing big-girl clout at the weight, puts Sarah on her butt, steals the round.


R5: Bad round for Sarah—exactly what her corner told her to avoid in this fight. Carter face-in gloves at ropes, getting bounced against the cables as Reese employs buxom shove-n;-slug, Witherspoon crowding close, smothering and bodying up to prevent Sarah from spinning out, then bludgeoning the dancer about her breasts, ribs and tummy. Reese all brawny with her shoulders and head—occasionally coming off the body to clobber Sarah upside the skull: Carter keeping hands up, trusting her chassis to weather the leather. Bell to bell Reese—she smears Sarah along the ropes, puts good mileage on her in the 5th.


R6: Sarah answers, and answers with vigour. Gambling right uppercut startles Reese midring—she’s forced back as Sarah sustains a thrilling 5 punch burst of rapid hooks and crosses. Carter stepping out, circling, feinting, jabbing, then pouncing back in: she’s penetrating Reese’s blocking guard, really pasting the face to good effect. Carter ripping the left hook to Reese’s body—gouging it behind the elbow, bringing the mitt back quick—good snatching venom on that shot has Reese wincing. Down the stretch, Witherspoon crouching too far forward, exposing her flanks: Sarah lunges in with a series of whacking buggy-whip right hands over Reese’s left hip, drawing moans of sympathy from ringsiders. Bell; Sarah making glaring eye contact: Reese cringing, looking shabby and uncertain through 6.


R7: Lead right splits Reese’s guard, knocks her face straight back: Sarah reloads, gets the second right hand springy, disengages. Witherspoon sputtering, eyes wide/shiny, buttocks wobbling as she turns on the spot. Feint; left hook takes Reese in her breasts, then in her tummy. Witherspoon vexed at the body-spanking—she surges forward angry: Sarah bops back springy, bouncing her lead right hand off Reese’s forehead while gracefully backpedalling. Witherspoon runs out of momentum, covers up, eats a whippy left uppercut to teeth; slappy left hook to cheek; drilling right hand between the mitts. Carter’s arms limber, elbows down and close to her body, punching with vicious elasticity on these shots. Witherspoon’s output drops to nil—she’s stumbling, crouching forward, unable to close distance. Carter in, out, and around—even scoring while backing up—it’s a glorious display of balance, timing and accuracy. Late the round, withering series of buggywhip rights above Reese’s left hip has her crying out. She nearly goes down, then straightens behind her gloves, wandering back into ropes. Carter squaring up, lets hands go: buttocks ringing with the effort of pelting poor Reese into stupor. Ref steps in, cradles a shellacked Witherspoon to safety. TKO7 Sarah Carter.


After: Carter roaring—huge boost to her confidence following the Monaco debacle. Witherspoon still reeling—she kept her feet throughout the beating, but she’s woozy. Pasted senseless by her lissome foe on the night. CARTER WANTS MORE! Sarah de-gloved, pushing through the crowd to yank Reese up off her stool by her meaty left bicep. Witherspoon stunned, looking in confusion to her agent, asking Sarah: “What…what’re you doing…” Angry TV star takes battered movie star for a walk of shame, inspiring a healthy mix of boos and cheers from the audience. Fevered debate in the days to follow as to whether small-screen girls should even be allowed to walk Oscar winners.


Reposted by Archer 6/16/09.


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