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30 September 2011 Rachel Bilson vs Natalie Portman

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 5 months ago

 

 

Posted by simguy on 9/30/2011, 11:13 am

 

BEFORE: Sienna Miller originally scheduled to face Nat...Miller's people feeling she needed a tune-up before facing a woman of Natalie's fearsome talents puts Portman in with Bilson on short notice for both. "End of the day, the PPV spot and my rotation is more important than the opponent." Veteran Portman explains in prefight. "It's tricky...I've trained for 6 weeks now to cut off the ring on Sienna and find ways to close on her; now I've got a girl who traditionally comes forward and makes the fight. I'll check her out for a round or two, see what she's bringing, and take it from there. As for quality, I'm relatively pleased at the sub: Rachel's pretty, she's hot right now with a new show...better to fight her now while she's got publicity supoort than after the show gets axed!" Bilson anxious to fight - it's a big opportunity and she knows it. "I walk around on-weight," Rache says at podium, "so short notice actually works to my advantage against most girls. This is huge for me - my new show's awesome, I'm awesome, and now I've got a chance to take down Natalie Portman! When you really look at it, I'm tougher and better than a Disney brat, but I've got movie star looks and presence...I'm basically the biggest thing at 110 and this is just the spot I need to showcase myself!" Natalie in navy bandeau bikini with sturdy boy-leg bottoms and velvet finish; long, straight frosted hair.

Rachel in dark brown string bikini as per...
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/photo.php?id=fp_7202762&title=Rachel%20Bilson%20Pictures&loc=3
Hair in beach bun with swept bangs.

FCBA trying out a new glove in beta-test for this fight...a short-wristed neoprene/latex blend similar to a scuba glove - matte black - offering full use of the fingers, but protecting the hands without the use of tape. Almost looks like a fashion glove from a distance - cut right beneath the palm - no cuff or laces - as though the hand had been dipped in black paint.

During R1: Bilson aggressive early, scooting-to - dabbing the left and whirling a clip-across right to Natalie's chin...PORTMAN'S ROCKED! Small-glove landing like a bare knuckle...Natalie all staring and startled, baby-stepping on the spot. Swinging left kisses Nat across the brow, then a thick, chunky right hand sweeps into her ribs PAK! Bilson shouting: "You're chin-spanked Nat!" Nat clinches, mouth open on Rachel's shoulder...Bilson wriggling, anxious to get after hurt prey. Break: Rachel comes whirling in: Nat ducks, pivots, comes up behind Rachel, hugging her lightly about the tummy for another ref's break. Bilson snarling, pouring in...she misses righty over the top as Natalie ducks under, then girls are at close quarters, trading hup-hup body blows. Tasty, toned, midsections sounding out PIK! PIK! PAK P-PAK! small gloves snatching back and forth in torrents. Natalie grimacing, finally breaking off contact to circle the ring...Bilson all cheeks-flushed and excited, hops in pursuit. Swinging right takes Nat in the back as she twists torso-right to receive it; chopping right nags at Nat's left ear as she rolling low/torso left. Bilson diligent, pouting angrily as she scrapes the left uppercut, then turns it over into a cirsp hook...Natalie getting clipped across her face and hating it. Portman shifts weight to back (right) leg and hooks Rache across the mouth, then covers up mitts at brows to block a tic-toc receipt to her head. Portman slide-stepping out to create a gap, jabbing as Rachel fills the space, trading-with at close-quarters - small gloves making vicious clicking and clapping noises as bodies, shoulders and faces take hard touches. Bell: Rachel squares up in front, pounding her right hand atop her heart while pouting brazenly into Natalie's face. Portman glaring with an angry "whatever" expression.

R2: Rachel still quick to engage and get off - whirling lefts and rights kiss across Natalie's chin as she's blocking and rolling: PORTMAN'S WOBBLY BUTT AGAIN! Nat frowning, distressed, forced to clinch...Rachel holding arms out wide to either side and shouting "BREAK, REF! SHE'S HOLDING!" Natalie dazed, but rallying, stepping to her right, feeding out check jabs to problematize Rachel's pursuit...Bilson pouring in and throwing hard, missing over the top as Natalie ducks, pivots, comes up from behind Rache to hug her lightly about gut for breaks. Rachel hating Natalie's embrace - wriggling and looking distressed - clutching and pushing down on Natalie's wrists...Portman able to slow things down with a series of these clinches, getting herself together. Latter half the round, Nat getting that jab in place, pinpointing Rachel's face for demolition. Bilson jabbed groggy, slowing her pursuit to a tentative crawl...Nat hooks off the jab, catching Rache a whirling palm-down chipper to the chin and BILSON'S HURT! Rachel stumble-stepping forward, suddenly rickety...Nat extends left hand to touch at Rachel's forehead, then places a curious, drilling right to pate, stamping flat-knuckle on bone with a loud PAK! Rache baby stepping forward, then back, then forward again and dropping to hands-and-haunches...she's shaking her head in wonder as glaring Natalie strides past.

R3,4: Rachel Bilson's face...meet Natalie Portman's exquisite, heartless and accurate left jab. Nat circles, humming on offence - left hand reaching out to land PIK! PIK! on Rachel's too-cute face. Nasty puncher's glove just busting Rache up...poor Bilson all jab-groggy, traipsing after Natalie, facing into blows. Nat stepping in to clinch after dotting Rachel's face...Portman walking Rache to ropes, pressing her down, and hacking right hand punches onto Rachel's left thigh until ref's break. Nat frequently reaching in to grab at Rachel's biceps or wrists...poor Bilson whining in protest as she strains to twist herself free of the grasp. After four, Natalie's got Rachel all puffy, swollen and discouraged...little brawler just can't get on track against Natalie's class.

Various tweets throughout the rounds...

KRISTEN BELL: "Portman's showboating. Boo!"

SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR: "Natalie's mean. H8 her!"

JESSICA LOWNDES: "Nat's not so tuff. I'd hrt hr!"



R5: Portman with jab-supremacy, can do as she pleases. She's sliding in behind Rachel, left hand holding Bilson by the waistband of her bottoms...Nat will lean in over Bilson's shoulder to check on her with lips parted, eyes curious; reach under Bilson's right arm to punch cheap rights up at the mouth; crowd close and fit right hands to Rachel's kidneys until ref moves in cross. Nat stepping-to off her jab, letting her hands go tic-tac-toe to Rachel's trim little gut: savage small-glove biting impacts denting the tight flesh. Rachel fighting with a bruised, stunned expression...blinking and pouting as Natalie turns her, pulls her, pushes her this way and that. Rache breaking down and Nat seemingly in no hurry to apply the finishing touches. Nat drawing warnings for knife-edge chops...she'll slip down and to her left under Rachel's waving right, then karate chop her planked right hand atop Rachel's right hip! Agony for Rache; grins for Natty P. Bell: Rachel swaying on the spot, eyes half shut, little fists clinched at her chest...Natalie grabs Rache by the biceps, turns her around so she's facing the right corner, sends her home with a right hand clap on the ass! Bright smile Natalie as she turns for her own corner, looking super-pleased with herself.

R6: Natalie feints...Rache forms earmuff...Nat delivers hesitation left uppercut to solar plexus PIK! Rachel bunches forward "GAH-H!" face stricken: Natalie grins prettily, whirling a palm-down right in above Rachel's left hip just because. Rache reaches woozy to clinch...Natalie's left hand grabs Rachel's left around the wrist...Nat circling counterclockwise while holding Rachel thus, chopping and hacking right hands in above Bilson's left hip! Rachel sobbing out, getting turned 360 degrees before easing down to right knee...Natalie contemptuous, still holding Rachel's wrist until ref moves in. Bilson beats the count weepy, stumbling forward to fight, but she's helpless with punishment now...Natalie squaring up, carving body shots into Rache with a sickle-trajectory - small gloves biting into Rache to paralyze her legs; Nat just calmly embracing, walking Rache to ropes, sorting her out, then punching at her. Whirling, relaxed punches clip across Rachel's sleepy face - her hands disorganized at her chest or belly...she's just facing-in now. Rachel's feet doing little prance-steps on the spot as she's punched dizzy - Natalie taking care to grab the girl's biceps and place her upright at ropes for the next pattern. Rache gobsmacked, her chin toggling side to side as she's swept across the mouth...brave little battler out on her feet, but too stubborn to go down. Ref FINALLY moves in as Natalie's just treating herself here...Bilson sobbing into the man's chest, not protesting the stoppage. TKO6 Nasty Nat Portman in heartless fashion.

After: Wolfpack briskly into the ring, shooing Bilson's people out of the corner, stacking a bewildered and battered Bilson against turnbuckles...Natalie magnanimous, gesturing with both hands for Mila to mount up so Nat can do the in-ring post-fight. Look of lascivious delight on Kunis' face as she mounts Rachel, tummy-pressing Bilson's puffy face to the side...no love lost between two old rivals and Kunis not shy about letting RAchel hear it.

"Very scrappy," Natalie says of her opponent, even as Mila's back is visible in the background, all but obscuring poor Rachel beneath as Kunis pulls at Bilson's hair. "She came out winging and clipped me...these gloves make even Bilson a little bit dangerous so I needed to take a moment, but once I got dialed in...man, I just tore it up on that kid. Hope Sienna was watching. Hope. Because that was all about sending Ms. Miller a message: when an Oscar winner calls, you get your over-rated ass in the ring. You make me wait? Honey, I'll make you suffer. Tune up all you want, it's only going to make things that much worse!" Natalie! Natalie! How about those new gloves? Love 'em or leave 'em? "LOVE the new gloves," Nat grins, eyes lighting up at the memory of her punches landing on Rachel's pretty face. "For a pinpoint puncher like me, they're perfect - I can really place the shots exactly where I want. Like that cortex-shot I smoked Rache with? Got the knockdown? I just measured her up for that and I doubt you could get the same effect with our standard small glove. Plus I love the variety - I was chopping at her, pulling and tugging her - it was great. Not for everybody of course, but I just think for punch-placers like me, these are wonderful. Hands're sore, but they would be anyway: anytime you punch a girl about 200 times in the face your hands're gonna ache!"

In the background, Mila's popped the buttons of her white satin blouse to get better tummy on Rache...Kunis fisting left hand in Rachel's hair, tilting the face up for a series of closed right hands to the forehead...not a lot of security in evidence as crowd shouts out the punch-count.

 

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