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9 November 2011 Claire Danes vs Scarlett Johansson

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 5 months ago

Claire Danes 10.jpg Scarlett Johansson 07.jpg

HAWKEYE INTERNATIONAL VS JERI'S KNOCKOUTS STABLE WAR

Posted by simguy on 11/9/2011, 10:37 am

"Look at me," Jen says. She's got Scarlett by both gloves, looking deep into Johannson's eyes.

"I'm fine," Scarlette says. Defensive already: nobody's said anything.

"You were fine against Natalie," Lacey chirps. She's standing close-by, arms crossed, brow scowling. "How'd that work out?"

Jen: "Hush. Scarlett: you can beat Claire Danes. She's a finesse fighter - she's not going to get up into your goods and bully you like Natalie did, or the way I did when I took the JMD title from you. Remember that? How I pushed you into the ropes and did you like I did Eliza? Just beating you and beating you...remember?"

Scarlett: "You're bringing that up now?" Yanks her mitts out of Jen's hands.

Jen: "Why not? It's true: I bullied you."

Scarlett: (temper bubbling) "Screw you!"

Jen: (smiling). "Perfect."

Scarlett: "What? Oh."

Jen: "Good girl. Stay pissed. Beat. Claire's. Ass. Get this win, and I'll issue an in-ring challenge to Mish to break the tie."

Scarlett: "Why Mish?"

Jen: "They won't give us Eliza - obviously. After you beat Claire, Danes will claim she's not ready. Mila and Nat are too fresh. But Mishy's a hot-head. I call her out, she'll jump at it. All you have to do is box Claire bloody, and I'll close the show."

* * *

"Don't choke," Natalie says. She actually says it aloud. Nat, Mish, Kris, and Mila crowd around Claire in semi-huddle.

"Shut the hell up!" It's Kristin, trying to get Claire to notice the support; trying to show she still belongs; trying to take advantage of Eliza's absence. Danes doesn't notice the effort. She's staring daggers at Natalie.

Portman won't back off. "You heard me. I'm only saying what everyone's thinking. I will not accept a draw against JKO. I want decisive victory. And I know you: you're going to fight safety-first; you're going to fight not to lose, and Scarlett will beat you. So I'm telling you right now: that's not good enough. HISC no longer accepts parity with JKO, Claire - not on my watch. Don't. Choke."

Danes: blushing hot. THIS close to going at Nat. She could fire back, ask Nat to compare records - Claire's won more big fights than Portman ever will. But defending yourself makes you look weak: first lesson of the Wolfpack. Instead, Claire turns her icy gaze to Mish, and there's that unspoken vibe between them again: you going to let her move on me like this? Now? Say something. You owe me.

Mish: looking up at Claire. It's an important moment between these HISC veterans...Nat and Mila have been pushing weight, jostling for pecking order, making their play. They both came through the stablewar clean; they delivered huge, pivotal victories. Claire and Mish know this.

It's up to MIsh: solidarity with Claire keeps Nat and Mila contained - barely, and only for now. Support for Claire would help her in the ring, because JKO will bring everything they've got, and Danes will suffer terribly if she loses. She needs all the help she can get.

Danes will suffer terribly if she loses...Mish can't help but think of the jug Claire would have to take.

All that jug...everything JKO's got...

But this is such an important fight - a chance to pay JKO back and keep them down. 4-2 is a good spread. Not a sweep, but strong. Clear superiority, if not supremacy. Claire can do this.

But it's a great time to cut her as well. All that pressure...by looking at Mish, Claire's signaling she wants support - against Natalie, and against Scarlett in a big fight. Claire's reminding Mish with her eyes that Danes was able to set differences aside to boost Mish, let alone stiffening the line for Natalie when Kris went down! All Claire needs is that little push in return, and they can all celebrate.

Claire non-spoken: you owe me.

But Mish realizes, if Claire loses...it's still a draw: not a disaster. Mish won her fight: that would loom large in a 3-3 situation. When HISC calls them into the boardroom to explain a draw, MIsh would be okay. Claire, Eliza and Kris would be on the hot seat. A bonus.

To cut Claire, or not to cut her, that is the question.

Mish looks up at Claire, feeling Natalie's seething presence close by. "Don't choke," Mish says quietly, shoving the knife in nice and deep. She checks Claire's eyes: she's hurt...may as well go all the way, because Claire's already plotting payback. "Maybe you're still the sorceress," Mish says, "maybe not. Prove it, Claire."

Unspoken: sorry Claire, but it's an opening. You'd do the same to me right now, and you know it.

Scarlett in charcoal bikini cut in the mode of the Andress Dr. No bikini; small black punching mitts; coppery curls loose.

Claire in lavender sport top with string shoulder-straps; black boy-cut swimsuit bottoms; small black punching mitts; strawberry blonde hair in messy ponytail.

During R1: Quick approach to midring, then slow to assume tactical distance. Claire: elbows in, dukes shoulder height, chin tucked; left shoulder/left (lead) foot angled in towards similarly angled right-shoulder southpaw look from Scarlett. Johannson's right jab slaps at Claire's left...girls rotating gently clockwise. Claire trying to double-paw her jab over Scarlett's - occasionaly knocking at the Johannson pate. Scarlett not trying to score with her jab - she's pinging it to locate, then leaning to chop short lefts with the hammer-drop delivery, hoping for chin. Not much chin to be had from either woman - each fighter slipping or leaning back from power, both anticipating well. Close and competitive: Claire's jab the difference, touching Scarlett between the eyes with some consistency.

R2: Same again - Scarlett's leading right side angled hinge-like against Claire's left. Hunt-and-peck jabs - Claire looking to touch Scarlett's face; Scarlett looking to set up chopping left hands. Danes fighting off her lead (left) leg - dropping in the odd loose, springy right from the shoulder; coming back with sticky jabs...she's got Scarlett on the defensive. Midway through, Claire knocking businesslike rights and lefts off Scarlett's face, circling clockwise, then suddenly stepping in strong to dip-n'-dig a wicked left hook in behind Scarlett's right elbow. Nice spanking blast wins a gasp from Scarlett...she backs away with wounded expression, walked down by Claire. Danes staying tall - bouncing her fists off Scarlett's pate - leaning onto right (back) leg in spots while still pinging out springy, straight pokes, making Johannson's receipts shoot short...Scarlett getting nibbled whether she's coming or going. Claire taunting late as she's getting off: "You usually get hit in the face like this? (PIK!) MMm that was easy. (P-PAK!) Chippin' you up, Scarlett!" BELL: Claire demure, thinking things through as she takes her stool. Unimpressed Nat Portman moves in close from the floor shouting: "Pick up the pace Claire - don't play with this girl!" Danes snarling to the trainer: "Get her out of here. Man, I mean it."

R3: Claire busying herself about Scarlett's midsection - dipping shoulders to get in there with limber, licking left/rights. Small mitts biting into taut meat...Scarlett grumpy, shying away early. Danes lured into pursuit near ropes...Scarlett loops her right arm over Claire's probing left; crowds her body close in on Claire, tucking the left fist into the Dane's tummy - Scarlett's left cheek at rest on Claire's left shoulder. Johannson cute in the wrap - easing Claire's back to ropes...Scarlett with Claire's left arm trapped goes to work inside - digging little lefts worrying Claire's tummy; clouting lefts chipping away on chin. Danes frustrated, trying to work with her free right hand, but Scarlett's cuddling up tight over Claire's left arm, closing her body into Danes'...all Claire can do is slap rights at Scarlett's back. It's holding and hitting, but ref's letting it go...Scarlett somehow playing hide-and-go-seek in plain sight - there but not there! Bell: Scarlett with a bratty grin as she pushes up off Claire: Danes a little wobbly-butt back to her corner, obviously taking more punishment than was apparent at the time.

R4: Claire showing footwork, up on her toes as she's circling clockwise - keeping weight on front (left) leg for the most part, unless she's sliding out of range to regroup. Hands at shoulder-height: Claire's pinging either one off Scarlett's brow while turning her - blonde arms relaxed, springy upon delivery - small gloves knocking out tart PIK! PAK! noises on contact. Johannson turning, crouching, trying to slip-and-parry: Claire showing tremendous accuracy in picking Scarlett apart outside. Down the stretch, Claire fits a right hand into Scarlett's tummy even as Johannson's trying to sling a left into Claire's...Danes able to dig a left hook downstairs, then rip a snatching right uppercut off sternum as Scarlett's staggering backwards. JOHANNSON'S HURT! Scarlett's face distressed: she hits ropes, covers up face-in-gloves with elbows tight to ribs...Danes lopes in to investigate. Wide stance, Claire: she sets up big, pops her hips side to side, lashing away ropey lefts and rights to Scarlett's ribs/tummy. Bell: Danes looking things over: Johannson blinking away tears, keeping her chin up to show brave-and-plucky rather than I'm-hurt.

R5: Claire on her toes, circling clockwise, bringing springy, unpredictable straight lefts and rights off her shoulders. Danes' legs relaxed...she'll bop to her left with weight on left leg, dragging the toes of the right foot behind her; she'll shift weight to back (right) leg, hopping out of range while dragging her left foot - and she's pinging out punches either way. Fists taking a toll on Scarlett's usually elusive face - Johannson lumping up nicely, cranky as a result. Scarlett potshotting with left hands in spots, punching Claire hard between the breasts with a hatchet chop delivery, or occasionally carrying a scooping left into Claire's midsection. Bell: Claire sees how bright and pink Scarlett's brows have become, smiles in approval. Johannson flustered, frowning en route to her stool.

R6: Scarlett slide-stepping back in her stance, lead right hand at her hip...she baits Claire forward, then leans in and down, looping the left around to strap Claire ear-to-chin on the right side. BLONDE GIRL STAGGERED! Danes wobbles out of orbit, wide eyed...she stumbles to her left, hitting ropes and covering up. Scarlett moves in strong, eyes hard: she extends the left to measure, then torques on her hips to lash Claire a hateful right hook behind left elbow - doubling it to hook Claire's left ear. Claire grimacing, but defiant: mitts at her cheeks as she's bobbing at the waist...she's nipping back little right uppercuts and hooks, showing an active pocket. Scarlett somewhat foiled trying to reduce the pocket directly, but down the stretch, she captures Claire's left arm under redhead right, tucks in close and gets to work with scrounging, close-in left hands tummy-and-chin. Claire pushed into ropes, getting scuffed up...her right hand pawing at the back of Scarlett's left shoulder, trying to tie her up as Johannson's being a little brat inside. Bell: Scarlett jams an extra left hand into Claire's tummy, bunching blonde up with cramped expression; ref pulls Johannson away by her arm, reading a respectful riot act to an A-list superstar.

R7: Claire elects to stand and punch...normally exquisite judgement lets Danes down as Scarlett takes her apart. Scarlett just in one of those southpaw grooves, seeing all Claire's pitches...Danes shoots a straight right up the middle; Scarlett sideslips to her left, making Claire miss over redhead right shoulder - Claire's ribs go on sale for Scarlett's snappy left uppercut. Claire hooks to the body: Scarlett blocks blonde left with a well-placed right elbow; vexes Claire's chin with a chippy little counter-right uppercut, then drops a tasty left to left side of Claire's jaw as Danes tries to withdraw. On and on - Scarlett just stitching in a masterpiece - Claire missing and paying...boxing purists in seventh heaven as Johannson parades her skills this round. Bell: big smile Johannson; direct eye contact...Claire blushing worse than if she'd been knocked on her ass by a haymaker: NOBODY shuts out Claire Danes! Nat Portman up out of her seat to provide advice: Mish intercepts, gently guides her back to her seat.

R8: Best of both worlds - girls staying classy, plenty of head movement on serpentine torsos, but they're both flat footed, standing right in front of each other, looking to score. Hits add up: Scarlett carving a wicked right hook across Claire's left-side ribs; Claire hatchet-dropping left jabs onto Scarlett's right eye with worrisom accuracy. Scarlett leaning in, sweeping that left over the top to clap right side of Claire's face; Claire doubling up on ramrod rights up the middle, poking Scarlett on right side of HER face. Nip-tuck action, both girls proving sturdy, taking shots well...Claire ups the ante late with a clouting right fat upon Scarlett's jugs to finally startle her redhead. Rising left hook from Claire cleaves in under Scarlett's right armpit and across the rack; extra right hand chops down upon jugs, slugging Scarlett out of her stance. Johannson in full retreat to bell, covering up earmuff at ropes: Claire salts away a close round with a gatling gun delivery of straight, stamping lefts and rights in palm-down configuration - pounding away to tits and ribs as Claire works down into the Johannson midsection at bell.

R9: Scarlett looking all wounded and forlorn at the start, inducing Claire into a very aggressive posture...clever redhead baits and switches her rival sorceress as Danes turns puncher. Claire missing - Scarlett stitching in exquisite counters and timing punches...Danes constantly startled as small-gloved fists spank off her face or roast her ribcage. Scarlett working to her right, turning Claire's left flank...redhead just punching-with, cleaning up as Claire can't find the mark. Down the stretch, Scarlett hatchet drops a stout right over Claire's extended left, locating Claire's chin; follow-on straight left jams left side of Claire's jaw, buckling her knees at bell. Johannson feeling her oats, chirps: "Are you slow tonight? You seem slow. I'm kinda chippin' up your face and stuff, you know?"

R10: Scarlett traps Claire in southpaw wrap early - redhead's right arm looping over blonde left so Scarlett's left can scrounge-tummy for cheap points. Claire manages to wrestle Johannson into full clinch, gets the break...leads to free-wheeling thrust-and-parry midring as girls look to sway judges with drama late. Down the stretch - girls slapping left hand against right...Claire eventually able to hatchet-chop her left over Scarlett's right, catching Johannson's right cheek "PIK!" Scarlett startled: Claire steps in with a sweeping right to gut, bunching Johannson up: Claire dipping torso-left for an angle, parking her left hook in snug behind Johannson's right elbow. Scarlett gasping, falling in to clinch: Claire cups her hands behind Johannson's neck instead, pulling her head down, spinning her around and hurling her backwards into ropes. Scarlett wide-eyed, disoriented and CLAIRE WANTS RACK! Clever Claire does the most eye-catching thing she can late in a close fight - standing up in the stirrups to go hup-hup-hup at Scarlett Johannson's world-class jugz! Claire: shoulders rolling, short, pumping left/right uppercuts stirring up the jug: Scarlett momentarily amazed, slumped butt-in-ropes, blubbering in confusion at her rack goes on sale. Bell: Claire churns in a little extra insurance...ref jumps in as JKO girls are screaming in outrage. Long delay as cards are tallied and re-tallied...comes back UD10 for the winner...Claire Danes!

HISC takes the stable-war 4-2.

After: Scarlett exhausted, ass kicked...lips parting in shock as Claire's arm is raised...redhead just standing there as HISC vixens mob Claire, hugging and jumping.

Jen: disgusted, slamming the apron with both hands, turning away seething from the awful sight of HISC celebrations.

Lacey: standing, staring with moist eyes, hands at her cheeks.

Krissy K only too happy to show Scarlett to the HISC corner, pulling her by her arm and shoving her roughly against turnbuckles.

Claire approaches with all of HISC behind her: her eyes the eyes of pirates finding lost treasure. "Turn her around," Claire says. "Face first."

Scarlett whines: Kristin pushes her chest-first into the turnbuckles. Johannson: chin on top pad, elbows raised, resting on top rope, her hands close to her chin. Kristin moves right-to-left across Scarlett, dragging tits across Johannson's back. Scent trail.

Claire mounts up, laying her thighs against Scarlett's back, doing nothing, just feeling Johannson's flinching dread.

Then it's all about reaching into those damp, coppery locks - a pirate scooping gold doubloons from an open chest - taking two fist-fulls and yanking up hard. Claire exulting, head thrown back, her fists close to her own chest, pulling up hard on Scarlett's tresses.

Johannson crying out, face pinched in pain. Krissy crowds in close over Scarlett's left shoulder, grinning and mocking; twirling a finger in Scarlett's hair. Mishy moves in close, tapping a finger on Scarlett's right elbow: "Hey Scarlett! Scarlett! Did you know we kicked your ass twice in this contest? Yeah: once, when Nat took your title, and then just now when Claire proved she was still best in show. That's gotta hurt, hey? Huh? Does it hurt, Scar?."

Claire grabs Scarlett's wrists, yanks her hands up into the air. Poor Johannson standing there in surrender, face stricken as Danes gloats.

On and on. Mish wants in: treats herself to a motor-boat before mounting up. Krissy mounts up, overdoes it - punching down on Scarlett's hairline as the crowd shouts the count in unison. Mila: pressing her tummy on Scarlett's face, then putting fingers through her own hair, letting the crowd get a good look at the "wonder of Kunis", letting Johannson take A-list weight. They all take their turns while the rest crowd in close: Girls Night Out goes both ways. Somewhere, Eliza is watching on CCTV from a hospital bed, laughing and crying at the triumph.

Finally, Scarlett is allowed to fall - pooling and sobbing in the corner, knees drawn up to her chest, arms around her knees as her back rests against turnbuckle.

HISC hugging and celebrating carries on as if Scarlett no longer exists. Might be the cruelest treatment of all: erasure. The victors leave the ring, allowing Lacey and Jen to retrieve their beaten team-mate.

Scarlett: (blinking teary-eyed up at the approaching duo) "Guys...help...my hair..."

Then Scarlett sees Jen's eyes.

Scarlett: "No..."

HBO slaps in the Swan Lake tape, but some douche screws up the audio feed. We're seeing ballet, but hearing a bloodthirsty crowd chanting "JUG! JUG! JUG!" in time to the pirouettes.

POST FIGHT COMMENTS BY JERI'S KNOCKOUTS

Posted by Jeri's Knockouts on 11/9/2011, 11:59 pm,

Today is a dark day for our organization.

Ms. Chabert has issued a statement, saying that "The ruiner has ruined everything," while Ms. Hewitt declines comment. As a whole, Jeri's Knockouts has nothing to add, other than to say that Scarlett's continued cooperation with our stable and her place within our hierarchy will have to be seriously addressed.

We would also like to take this time to fastidiously deny the allegations floating around that Lacey and Jennifer vented their frustrations by jugging out Scarlett in the aftermath of this fight. The notion that Ms. Hewitt and Ms. Chabert traded Ms. Johansson back and forth for nearly a half hour is simply implausible and untrue. Please pay no heed to the reports that Lacey and Jennifer finished Scarlett off by hugging her up together, each with one arm locked behind Ms. Johansson's head and one jug on either side of her face as they smothered her into unconsciousness. The internal affairs of our organization are strictly confidential, and we admonish all FCBA patrons to avoid giving in to gossip and rumor.

POST FIGHT COMMENTS BY HISC

Posted by HISC on 11/10/2011, 8:51 am

What a thorough dismantling with all the cookies on the line.

The ultimate professional of our Pack showing Eliza and Mish they won't be the only ones in the FCBA's Canton.

Classic Claire from start to finish. Not worrying about the glory in a KO, but just working over that plush frame of ScarJo, picking up points while battering the redheaded riddler enough to make sure every judge know who is the better boxer.

Poor Scarlett. Entering this war she was the flyweight champion and then to be steamrolled by Natalie and Claire. The Black Widow squashed under foot by both sides of Swan-Pack. A shame.

If JKO doesn't want to come clean as to what befell Scarlett with her own slimy allies then who are we to stick our nose in their business. But rest assured the Consortium 'tummying' on the auburn-haired lass was simply a delight and the 4-2 win a thorough judgment in our favor.

Surely Kristin and Eliza will have some bad memories, but overall a fantastic showing. Nat and Mila have re-energized our forces and that's bad news for any flyweight out there.

Tread lightly or we will get you.