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1 January 2012 Penelope Cruz vs Lea Seydoux

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 3 months ago

Penelope Cruz 04.jpg Lea Seydoux.jpg

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by simguy on 1/1/2012, 9:27 am

BEFORE: Prickly pre-fight as girls frequently separated by security...Seydoux known as the "Scourge of Ibeza" for her ambush attacks on sunbathing Spanish ingenues...French girl's racked up quite a tally, with photos on her FB page to prove each conquest. "I am not another soft French girl like a Virginie Ledoyen or Elodie Frege," Seydoux sneers at podium. "I claim Spanish women; I am not claimed by them. Penelope Cruz is the shiniest bauble that country has to offer: I shall take her, and make of her a trophy!" Cruz seething: not bad enough that Lea's French; she's insolent and haughty as well. "This feelthy peeg weel suffer," Pene snarls into the mic. "I was going to answer her on sand, but this is better: destroying her where everyone can see her shame. She is a French January Jones, nothing more: I weel crush her!" Pene in yellow bikini; small black gloves; damp hair loose/kinked. Lea in black push up; leopard print bikini bottoms; small black gloves; loose blonde hair with bangs. Girls air-kiss each other's cheeks when asked by ref to "touch 'em up": pure hatred in both sets of eyes throughout the ceremony.

During R1: Pene caught in an early batting left/right lather up top - Lea buffetting Spanish ears, knocking Pene off balance. Cruz able to hook her way out of it eventually, tugging her left hand across Lea's chin to unsettle French legs in turn. Seydoux rallies - digging right-to-body with a small-glove PIK! then hooking Pene's tits with a short, cuffing clout. Cruz circling: Seydoux stepping in the jab to Spanish mouth: Pene's head poked back, eyes frowning in alarm at early French class. Down the stretch, girls flurrying body and head: Spanish girls digs at French breadbasket, works up-torso, lands right/left tidy on the chin and FRENCH GIRL DOWN! Lea's knees give way, putting her gasping on all fours: Pene bellowing down with arms rigid with hate at her sides as ref's bodying her away.

R2: Same up-tempo, classy fare - Sedoux jab-jab-jabbing body/face/breasts, capping off the sequence with a slap-chopping right down across Pene's breasts. Snarling Spanish lass steps in hooks: Sedoux fades the pressure, circles clockwise (ie: away from Pene's left) while stabbing left jabs to Cruz' jugs. Right/left scores for Seydoux, slapping across rack: Lea ducks under Spanish hook, comes back hook/right hand/hook, hook - small gloves biting into brunette ribs/breastflesh, backing Cruz up wincing. Battle along the ropes sees French girl lay siege: Lea digging hup-hup-hup to Pene's tummy, bunching Spaniard up hurrrrt. Down the stretch, Seydoux's got Pene butt-in-ropes, stooping forward behind her mitts: French girl methodically knuckling her foe's guard, then dipping to either side to whack away behind the elbows. Bell: Seydoux lathers Pene's trunks the cheapest right/left anyone's seen since the prime of Gena Lee Nolin: stricken Spanish lass drops to all fours after the bell; Academy corner leaps onto apron; ref tackles seething French girl away; crowd goes apeshit as chaos reigns.

R3: Seydoux proving classy, gritty, retreating in orderly steps while engaging Pene in furious exchanges. Small mitts sounding out PIK! PAK! PEK! from taut bodies, digging into rib or belly meat; gouging at sternums; denting lats. Seydoux's check-jab a nasty little wonder, finding Pene's face as French girl's stepping back, then pivoting counter-clockwise. Pene raking hooks and right hands in tight arcs, lashing French torso, turning her chin...it's expensive ground, but Cruz is gradually taking territory in these moments. Pene paying the price to score points...she's got the round won close when Lea digs a cheap left hand low to yellow trunks late, bunching Cruz up. Lea snarling, bending in to lash a buggy-whip right in behind Pene's left elbow - blonde girl's right cheek finishing up close to Pene's right cheek as girls lean in. Digging left uppercuts from Seydoux rip at Pene's tummy, drawing breathy sobs of pain: Pene groaning, drops to all fours as her knees give way. Lea bending down with arms out to her sides, bellowing incoherently at trembling Spanish back...ref bundles little French spitfire away as blubbering Cruz rallies off the deck.

R4: Bitter fighting continues as Lea presses the attack, driving Pene to ropes, strafing her chest/shoulders/head via swiping lefts and rights. Cruz overwhelmed early - crossing wrists at face as she slumps back into ropes, giving up tummy on the cheap for slashing blonde left/rights. Cruz starts to answer back in second minute punching - locating Lea's chin with nippy little left uppercuts: leads to furious exchanges of criss-crossing lefts and rights up top that see Cruz outscore Seydoux to face, buckling blonde knees. Lea hurt, falls in to clinch...Pene wrestles blonde-back into ropes, holds Lea with left arm under French fight while plowing righty to the Seydoux belly. Lea croaking in pain - eyes shut tight, mouth open plaintively...sight of the stricken vixen brings the ref in for break just as Pene was getting good work done. Lea able to scamper away to her right - Cruz in hot-jogging pursuit: French girl lures Spaniard forward, stops; ducks; sweeps right hand to trunks as Pene waves righty over top. CRUZ GOES DOWN! Penelope sputtering to all fours...she sits back on her haunches, hands wedged in between her thighs, face pinched in crotch-punched agony...Lea snarling, stalking away all fiery-eyed, as ref's giving Pene the TEN COUNT! Cruz raggedly up, whining at ref to no avail...round ends before Seydoux can add to Pene's misery, but the points are piling up.

R5: Bitter fighting as Lea jabs Pene to ropes, then fights her in a phonebooth. Blonde girl a little writhing tigress in there - snuggling up around Pene's ribs, then digging at her cheap while holding; twisting side to side to clout Pene across the chin with tight-swiping lefts or rights; digging mercilessly at Pene's haughty jugs, often with the left hand wrapped 'round Pene's back while the right hand pumps home. Cruz demoralized, damp black hair obscuring right side of her face - her mouth open, eyes often shut in pain. Down the stretch - Lea's left hand grips a fistful of Pene's yellow waistband at trunk's-front - French girl leaning in close with left shoulder to brace Pene against ropes. Then Lea pushes off, tugging trunks while twisting herself into a smiting right up top: kissing blast across the chops twists Pene's torso/head to the right, even as Lea keeps Pene's hips facing forward. Cruz loopy, dazed - she's ragdoll limp as Lea tugs the trunks, pushes with her shoulder, prepping Pene to receive another when ref moves in. Cruz spellbound, out on her feet: saucy Seydoux struts the length of the ring to her corner, hands held high.

R6,7,8: Rounds blend together as French girl pours herself at Spaniard, intent on scouring Pene out of the ring. Bitter cheek-to-cheek digging; constant, pumping jug-mugging carried out by rapacious French fists - anything to get Pene to quit. Cruz beaten to ropes; scrubbed along them to corners: she's battered and outworked, but fighting back hard in spots - frequently forcing Lea to clinch after jamming rights or tightly-turned hooks from the Seydoux chin. Both girls guilty of holding and hitting - often forming cauldron with left arms draped over opposing right shoulders while slugging righty underneath. By the 7th, it's plodding, flat-footed action as the girls fall in together and stumble about, mindlessly punishing one another. Late in the 8th, Lea backs up in good order, drawing scrubbing fists back and forth across oncoming Spanish breasts and mouth...Pene rubbed drowsy, spills to knees-and-elbows in exhaustion as weary French girl bleats in triumph yet again.

R9: Pene finding Lea with stiff jabs from flat-footed stance early...French girl getting her face spanked as she tries to push through Pene's front gate. Three successive attempts see Lea rejected each time - the third rejection coming with a crisp right cross on the chin that has French buns a-wobbling. Seydoux's eyes hooded and sleepy...she reaches for Pene to cuddle and rest: Cruz shifts weight to right leg, turning a tight little hook across Lea's breasts in rebuke. Lea pouting, tottering forward as Pene pivots right...Spanish girl jabs French mouth, getting good head-movement from a weary Lea. Seydoux turning, arms outstretched for a clinch - Pene hooking off her right plant-leg, cudgels those jugs again, slides to her right to maintain distance. Lea frazzled, hair in her eyes, mouth open...she keeps doddering forward, reaching limp for Pene but unable to embrace. Cruz rotating counterclockwise, keeping weight on back (right) leg as she clips come-along hooks across Lea's breasts, then RIGHT HAND PENE flashes across Seydoux's mouth, tossing her head hard to starboard. Deep knee bend Lea Seydoux...she's hurt on the spot, forming a slow-mo earmuff: Pene steps-to, snarling as she digs home a vicious left to French gut PAK! Pene's weight on front (left) leg as she continues to work the left - digging it to tummy, digging it to ribs...French girl crippled, just cringing forward behind her mitts, unable to answer. Pene chops the sidearm right in behind Lea's left elbow; chops it again; chops a right to Lea's left ear...French girl sputters out of orbit, eyes dismayed. Pene hops-close from just outside Lea's left shoulder, jamming a short Spanish hook to open French mouth and BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Pene basically jumping her weight into Lea's chin - French girl sprawls onto her back as crowd roars to it's feet. Lea: thunderstruck, head lolling side to side as she tries to rally off her back. Pene: mouthbreathing, exhausted, stalking to neutral corner with hands on hips...and LEA CAN'T BEAT THE COUNT! Stunning come from behind KO9 Penelope Cruz!

After: Seydoux still on her back when she breaks down into chest-shuddering tears: heartbreaking to come so close, only to have Pene take everything away. Referee intercepting snarling Spaniard as Pene advances on helpless Lea - official lightly tying up under Pene's arms as Cruz would savage Seydoux if allowed. "You saw what she is," a still-seething Pene says in postfight. "She tore at my breasts, pounded at my bottoms, tugged-and-slugged at me...she is an animal! I yam the better woman though; I would not yield to her. Lea lies broken because Spanish hearts are the hearts of lions, and I would not give in to her!"