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26 May 2006 Title Ch Jaime Pressly vs Jessica Alba

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 2 months ago

Jaime Pressly 06.jpgJessica Alba 01.jpg

 

 

UNIFIED BANTAMWEIGHT TITLE

 

Posted by simguy on 26-May-2006. (Thanks to Ginny for this repost)

 

"I just have to remember that Jaime's not in my class," Jessica shrugs, eyes wide with sincerity. "That's all it is. She's not as slick, she's doesn't have my power or lank, doesn't have my height - I just have to go at her with confidence and win this damn title!" Pressly never one to have a confidence problem, clearly enjoying Jessica's mental battle with herself. "Look at this kid," Jaime chortles at the dais. "Just look at her: she's already beat! Seriously - I've never seen a hinkier broad in all my life. I swear - I think I could score a knockdown off a feint - she's so twitchy. Easy fight folks - I already have a sushi table set aside for Jessica in my victory party!" Alba in smooth low blonde ponytail, yellow bikini, dark tan. Jaime in neon blue bandeau top, orange bottoms, blonde tousle. White gloves, both vixens.

 

During R1: Pressly clowning early: big grin, hands dangling at her sides as she dances well out of range - feinting at Jess, lunging to reach punches from either hand into Alba's tummy, then ducking off to either side. Jessica a little skittish, over-reacting, dancing away from Jaime's aggression, legging to her right with a scowl overtop gloves gathered at her chest. Pressly flitting in and out, mostly for show, but she's the aggressor in a wide-ranging, but lacklustre first.

 

R2: Alba loosening up - knees bending and flexing, shoulders relaxing, punching with rangy action all hips, shoulders, torso turn, then fist. Pressly leaning back, scrambling out of range at times - Jessica twitching her hips to the right and licking a vicious hook - fist curls up past her right ear as she unleashes a few whistlers early. Jessica stalking, taking the ring away from Jaime and launching right hand rockets - nice rotation into the punch, lanky slinging action from the shoulder has Pressly ducking and leaping away. Pressly circling out wide, eyes narrowed: she can't penetrate much this round, showing good respect for Alba's slashing strokes.

 

R3: Jessica hunting Jaime, stepping loose-jointed to spots, committing to an elastic jab that's landing with authority against Pressly's pecs and forehead. Where the jab leads, right hands follow - slinging blasts narrowly evaded as Jaime ducks, making the punch skid across her upperback instead. Pressly so busy defensively, she only offers the odd body-jab or darting lead right hand - single shots only, managed by Alba's sinewy footwork and torso leans as Jessica controls distance. Bell: Pressly frowning in frustration - Jessica harder to get to than expected, punching with a lot of bandy-armed vigour through 3.

R4: Champ continues to skirt the perimeter, looking for angles from which to slash in, do harm via potshotting right hands, then disengaging off to the side. Alba derailing Pressly's plans with that rangy jab and good footwork - Jessica's early focus very sharp, anticipating well, showing supple young reflexes in evading Jaime's lunges. Jessica able to counter via that limber hook, cuffing Pressly's ear and redirecting her off balance - Alba being the boss, getting all the significant touches, even though neither beauty even close to being hurt. Late the round, Jessica with that slinging right hand misses as Jaime ducks and rolls, but Alba adjusts: Jess stepping left, pulling down on Jaime's head, twitching hips to the right and licking a rising hook across Pressly's face to straighten the champ up in astonishment. Jaime taking the shot well, but she's rocked - Pressly dances outside, juke-steps side to side to shake pursuit and runs clock to the bell. Alba pumping her fist, nodding, talking to herself like a tennis player: keeping the nerves in check so far.

 

R5: Pressly freezes Jess with a feint, THEN brings that hesitation lead right: SOLID connect on Jessica's jaw snaps Alba's head, sends her reeling backward all wide-eyes, open-mouthed. Pressly sneering, regrouping and attacking up the middle: she's intercepted a strong, slinging straight right from Jessica, then backed off a whippy left hook as Jessica fires back snarling. Sinewy lasses circle counterclockwise - Jaime stepping, then darting in again: Alba ducking down low, pulling her whippy hook over top and SMASHING Pressly's face to pre-empt the champ's blitz. PRESSLY'S ROCKED! Jaime visibly staggered for the first time, reeling to her right: Alba glides in with a slinging right, pounding Jaime flush across the jaw, dislodging the gumshield with an audible "POOH!" Jessica pivoting to her left, licking her hook across Jaime's chin - just grazing it, then twitching her hips to the left, pulling a wide, sinuous right hand around and CRUSHING Jaime Pressly to the jaw. DOWN GOES PRESSLY! Jaime sprawled to her back, motionless for 5 - achily rolling to her right, then flopping back down again at 8 and it's OVER! Jaime Pressly can't get off her back: Jessica Alba FINALLY assumes the throne on her umpteenth attempt!

 

After: Video replay lovingly going over Jessica's fight winning circus punch from every angle: the gliding pivot 'round the hook; the slinging right hand up off the hip - well wide - then slamming onto jaw with an orbital arc - postcard perfect punch ends the champ's night in spectacular fashion. Alba overjoyed, blubbering exultant tears: "I've done it! I knew I could do it! I always knew I was the best and now everyone else does too! It's the Summer of Alba at last, and it is GLORIOUS!" Dismantling of the Krusher empire begins as longstanding champ is finally dethroned - stunned, disoriented Pressly led away by a phalanx of protective Krusher sycophants. In days to follow, regally composed Alba shows a snooty side, posting a list of preferred opponents in BLONDE! Magazine: all A list celebrities "on a par with myself," explains Jess. Names include Aniston, Beckinsale, Pam Anderson of all people, Kiana Tom of all people, Kelly Preston, Halle Berry, with a grudging nod to Jolie and Connelly down the line. "A real murderer's row," Jessica calls her list. "I only want the toughest, most attractive fights." Uh oh...somebody get the BS meter: summer of Alba already starting to stink. (ed. note: naturally, Ultimate can make the toughest Lilly and Connelly and Dushku matches he wants - but Jessica's the type of fighter who would probably mix it up with a few showcases in between the hard dates).

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