• If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • Finally, you can manage your Google Docs, uploads, and email attachments (plus Dropbox and Slack files) in one convenient place. Claim a free account, and in less than 2 minutes, Dokkio (from the makers of PBworks) can automatically organize your content for you.


10 July 2008 Kelly Clarkson vs Jaime Pressly

Page history last edited by Archer844 9 years, 2 months ago

Kelly Clarkson 02.jpgJaime Pressly 03.jpg



Posted by simguy July 10, 2008 (thanks to Ginny for this repost)


Clarkson citing Dani Fishel's success against Jaime P as reason to start betting on an upset. "Why not? Jaime's wiry, but she's not sturdy. I'll pile into her like a ton of bricks, and we'll just see what happens!" JP amused at Kelly's pluck: Krusher blonde heavily favoured at all books, and rightly so. "So Dani Fishel - a hall-of-famer - gave me the odd tough round: that means this fat tub of goo is going to compete with me? Gimme a break! Kelly's a load - I'll give her that - but there's no reason for me to try to push into her. I'll circle her, pick her apart - punching that fat body is going to be fun!" Jaime sporting long, straight blonde hair with bangs; peach coloured lace bra and panties; white gloves. Kelly in zebra print tie-side bikini; white gloves; hair back in messy beach twisty bun.


Round 1: Shutout Pressly. Jaime loose, left hand dangling at her side, right coiled at her chest - she's got weight forward over left foot, bobbing slightly like a cobra, sliding around to the right, making faces at Kelly. Clarkson inching forward - crouching - dukes at her cheeks, elbows in. Jamie taking her time - lifting the upjab to slap at Kelly's defences; jolting out sudden, lead right hands straight to the head or wide, sidearm buggywhips to the waist. Pressly effortlessly sliding out of range after scoring: Kelly following, absorbing potshots.

Round 2: Clarkson bobbing, moving her head better: right hand at her cheek, left hand thrusting out stubby jabs to locate Pressly's chest. Jaime disrupted, forced to circle: Clarkson scooting over to cut off the ring, worms her way in close and walks Pressly to ropes at minute mark. Jaime grimacing with the effort of pushing and pulling with Kelly: Clarkson crowding in, setting her feet, getting to work. Kelly erupting out of her crouch to bash spicy lefts and rights against Jaime's bra, biceps, ribs. Pressly leaning into ropes, twitching her torso side to side to slip shots, but she's unable to wriggle clear. Hardworking, no-frills Kelly stays on top, roughs Jaime up, and ruins what many had hoped would be a 10-0 rout after just 2 heats.

Rounds 3-4: Pair of shutouts - Jaime P. Pressly scowling with concentration, staying outside, circling her prey midring. Dangling the left hand at her side, Jaime fades back with any Kelly pressure, swatting the girl limber check-hooks while maintaining distance, then sidestepping-left at the ropes to keep her back clear. If Kelly hangs back, or stays crouched: Jaime's on her with savage buggy-whip right hands to the left hip, or drilling, potshot lead right hands straight to Kelly's forehead. Jaime's jab more of an irritant than anything else - but she'll lift it off her thigh to flap at Kelly, keeping Clarkson occupied as Jaime's plotting her next potshot.

Round 5: Jaime showboating, lashing Kelly hooks as Clarkson's crouching deep. Clarkson absorbing, then erupting as Pressly steps back with hands low. Kelly hopping forward with a winging, Joe-Frazier hook CLOUTING Jaime hard to chops! PRESSLY'S HURT! Jaime nearly swooning to canvas - stumble-steps out of it, hits ropes all head-lolling, hands up loose. Clarkson stomping in, teeth bared as she clubs short, muscular lefts and rights at Jaime's face and temples, clobbering pretty blonde noggin to-and-fro. Jaime rocked AGAIN, ducks in behind her mitts, then leans back while dragging a left uppercut across Kelly's face. Clarkson shakes it off, stays on her girl: Kelly showing Dani Fishel like tenacity as she brawls away on stricken Jaime. Middle minute - Jaime torso rolling on the spot, trying to slip shots and waiting for Kelly to tire. Clarkson squared away, crouching with mitts curled into her own breasts - then she clubs at Jaime with short, curling blows from either hand, bringing the mitts back to her chest to reset. Down the stretch, Jaime stooping forward - she rips a sudden right uppercut to chin, followed by a breathtaking left hook to clip-clap Kelly's face. Clarkson put wobbly butt on her heels - she's stunned, but Jaime's too worn down to pursue. Kelly's round, close.

Round 6: Two way action, goes like this: Jaime flat footed, jabbing at midring, then fading back while lashing that limber left hook, practically hopping on her right (back) foot as Kelly bores in. Clarkson pursues Jaime to ropes, piles into her chest, pushes her upright, then clangs away short, clubbing lefts and rights until Pressly can clinch head-and-arm. Ref resets - girls wander back to midring and the pattern repeats. Kelly catching an awful lot of swat on her face as she's coming in - but continuing to bang effectively to Pressly's arms, torso and breasts in spots.

Round 7: Kelly stepping-with, catches Jaime a blunt overhand right as Krusher's pulling back. Jaime staggers, regroups, circles right - she restores order with a few drilling right hand leads out of the closed stance. Kelly leaping in with lead hooks: Jaime wise to the shot now - leaning away in advance, then quick to counter with the hammer-drop right and limber left uppercut. Constant Clarkson gambling starting to weigh on her: she's mouthbreathing, looking damaged - missing a lot of power strokes and simply staring into sharp, unforgiving receipts. Final minute, Jaime chops that short, hammer-drop right hand (elbow in close to her hip on delivery), clips the lanky left uppercut, then cleans up a slapping left hook to punch the mouthpiece off Kelly's teeth. Frazzled, Clarkson stumbles back, eyes staring. Jaime hopping forward, syncopating her hops with licking rights and lefts - very pretty and athletic - each punch clapping at Kelly's drowsy face as Clarkson's backpedalling. Kelly dropped to her glutes - her back supported by ropes: she's swooning, eyes glassy with punishment. Poor Kelly - legs outstretched as she sits there - she tries to push up off her buns, but she's all numb and hurt. 10 count passes her by - Jaime already strutting with hands high at '7'.

After: Jaime roughed up in spots - slender hard-body occasionally tested by the sturdy pudginess of Kelly C. "The kid's scrappy," Pressly shrugs. "And strong: when she gets position inside, she's tough to budge. But I'm just way too much for this kind of fighter. I touched her whenever I wanted, I put my hands wherever I wanted - she was target practice for me. I'm the best at sub 120 - period, end of story. Neve Campbell needs to suit up and take her whupping now

Comments (0)

You don't have permission to comment on this page.