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29 January 2012 Jennifer Aniston vs Kat Dennings

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 2 months ago

Jennifer Aniston 02.jpg Kat Dennings 01.jpg

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 1/29/2012, 7:30 pm

"Kats at the Asylum PPV." Site: Asylum Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

BEFORE:

"Dennings is strong and hits hard," says Jennifer. "But she's not skilled at all. She just wants to slop punches and hope to land something lucky. Well, she's not going to be lucky tonight."

"Aniston's the nail," says a smiling Kat. "I'm the hammer."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that's 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing', by Scissor Sisters, and here comes 'The Rack', Kat Dennings!"

McCarthy: "Giving the more experienced fighter the honors. Classy move by Dennings."

O'Dell: "Kat into the ring. Helped off with the robe. Revealing a black number that definitely shows off the curvy figure..."

McCarthy: "A little too MUCH curve if you ask me..."

Tess: "And, oddly, no one DID..."

O'Dell(jumping in quickly): "And there's 'Wild Horses' by The Rolling Stones, and here comes Jennifer. Aniston making her way to the ring, helped off with the robe. Nice hot pink number, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Another example of a girl who's still in great shape in her 40s..."

O'Dell: "Can we get a pick, Mac?"

McCarthy: "I'm going with the cougar, Jenny. Dennings doesn't have much experience, nor a lot of skill. I think Aniston can box her all night and take a wide decision."

Tess: "The fans have been voting and are pretty evenly split on this one. Looks like they think it's a toss up."

O'Dell: "And there's the bell for round one. Dennings looking to pressure early. Looking to cut off the ring and bang with Aniston. Jennifer using the legs, looking for open canvas. Snaps a couple of jabs and a hook..."

McCarthy: "LOW! Way low! And Dennings is hurt!"

O'Dell: "Referee screened on it, but it looked low from here! Aniston going all it now, letting the hands go, landing in bunches. Kat covering up, legs not working."

McCarthy: "Aniston hooked the trunks AGAIN!"

O'Dell: "Dennings' knees wobbled! She's in a half-crouch just covering up as Jennifer goes to town!"

McCarthy: "Kid's a sitting duck right now."

O'Dell: "Aniston a nice combination to the head...OH! Hooked the trunks again! Referee saw that one! Going to issue a warning here. Campbell shouting from the apron..."

Tess: "Jennifer does NOT want Neve climbing in there..."

O'Dell: "Aniston one final flurry at the bell, and that's a huge round for Jennifer, Mac!"

McCarthy: "Referee didn't deduct points, so I've got another of those rare birds we saw at the PPV. 10-8 Aniston without the knockdown."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Campbell in the referee's ear between rounds while Britney talks to Kat."

McCarthy: "I'm not sure they didn't FIND these referees at an asylum after what we've seen so far...I get Aniston's strategy, though. Wants to take Dennings out early, not let the younger legs be an advantage."

O'Dell: "Bell sounds for the second and Kat still hurting. Not moving well at all and Aniston taking full advantage. Landing punches in bunches, moving, resetting, landing clean again."

McCarthy: "Dennings not getting off at all. Can't get the legs to work. Can't get into position to punch."

O'Dell: "Aniston a HUGE flurry! Snapped Kat's head back three times with a four-punch combination. Dennings covering up as Jennifer goes body now. She's taking the kid apart, Mac."

McCarthy: "ANOTHER hook to the trunks! Dennings nearly went to her knees!"

O'Dell: "Neve Campbell not shouting at the referee now, but an Aniston. I know our ringside mic is picking that up, and we're lucky this is HBO..."

Tess: "Jennifer had better hope security gets her out of this ring before Neve gets to her..."

O'Dell: "Dennings a sitting duck as Aniston lights her up! Kid's covering up, hanging on as the bell rings. Another big round for Aniston!"

McCarthy: "I went 10-9 that time. But, still, Jennifer's up 20-17 after two. Building the kind of cushion she wants for later in the fight."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Campbell actually pounding on the ropes, pointing at Aniston and letting the referee have it."

Tess: "In his defense, he was screened on all but one of the low blows, and he DID warn Jennifer after that one."

O'Dell: "There's the bell for round three and Jennifer bouncing and snapping jabs into the face of an immobile Kat. Dennings legs leaden as she tries to hunt down Aniston, but Jennifer sticking and moving, picking Kat apart."

McCarthy: "Dennings needs to just get to the ropes and play defense. Try to shake this off. She's only making it worse trying to chase."

O'Dell: "Aniston ANOTHER hard, clean flurry. Stops Dennings in her tracks, snaps the head back with a straight right."

McCarthy: "Kat can't get off. Everything she tries is from too far out. She's throwing almost nothing and what she is throwing isn't coming close."

O'Dell: "Jennifer a double-tap jab and...DOWN SHE GOES! DENNINGS A HAIL MARY RIGHT HAND TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD AND ANISTON'S ON HER BACK!"

McCarthy: "Didn't land it clean, but it still had enough on it."

O'Dell: "Aniston up at six. Not really hurt, more knocked off balance. Takes the mandatory. Circles away from Kat. Dennings chasing but Aniston still has the better legs. There's the bell with Kat unable to follow up."

McCarthy: "Got back in the fight with the knockdown, though. I've got it 28-27 after three."

Tess: "First round Aniston didn't hit low and it was also the first one Kat won."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Back in action now in the fourth. Dennings moving a bit better now, but Aniston still able to stick and move. Using the left and the legs effectively to keep Kat at bay. Dennings more dogged in the pursuit now. Willing to eat the jab to get in close where she can work that body."

McCarthy: "Aniston wants none of that, Jenny. A sustained body attack from a younger, stronger girl is not the recipe for victory..."

O'Dell: "Kat hooks the ribs...AND GOES DOWN AFTER ANOTHER LOW HOOK TO THE TRUNKS!"

McCarthy: "Dennings dropped to her knees by that one. Referee screened again. Aniston's picking her spots!"

O'Dell: "Campbell SEETHING in the corner as Kat gets to her feet at eight. Takes the mandatory, and is once again easy prey for Aniston!"

McCarthy: "Jennifer just TUNING this kid UP, Jenny. Dennings can't move and Aniston's just pot shotting. All Kat can do is cover up."

O'Dell: "Jennifer with a nice, clean flurry, ducks a wild right, sticks a jab, follows with a hook to the side of the head. There's the bell and another big round for Aniston."

McCarthy: "Got that nice lead right back. 38-35 after four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Well, Neve not wasting any more breath on the referee between rounds. Has hard-eyed instructions for Kat instead. Dennings off the stool a little gingerly but ready at the bell. Aniston looking to jab and move. Dennings with high guard, bobbing in a low crouch, working her way inside, bulling forward, hooking body."

McCarthy: "Looks like she's finally got some legs back. And, one thing this crouch will do is make it hard to hit her low."

O'Dell: "It's making her hard to hit, period, at the moment as Dennings is taking punches on the guard, crowding Aniston, getting a body on her, and hooking those ribs and lats. Backing her into the ropes and banging away downstairs. NICE UPPERCUT, KAT! Stung Aniston with that one. Jen tying up now as Dennings punches free and goes back to work downstairs."

McCarthy: "Aniston mouth breathing now. Dennings' pressure plus all the energy Jen's used in the first four rounds taking their toll."

O'Dell: "Dennings digging body as the bell rings ending the fifth. Best round of the night for Kat."

McCarthy: "Sure was, even though she got a 10-8 with the knockdown in the third. This was the first round where Kat really controlled things."

Tess: "Scorecard at 47-45 Aniston, Mac?"

McCarthy: "That's what I've got, yes."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Round six underway and Dennings back to a normal stance now, in pursuit of Aniston, who's trying to use the legs to get some space, but Kat's having none of it, hunting Jen down, working forward, going body."

McCarthy: "Two things at work here. One, Aniston's slowing down. She's no spring chicken and the body work Kat put in is paying off. Two, Dennings is cutting the ring off very well."

O'Dell: "Kat thumping the body, backing Aniston into the ropes, now going upstairs with a nice flurry. Jen jabbing back, tying up, Kat working free, much the stronger of the two, whacking Jen thick to the side of the head..."

McCarthy: "Jen's getting outworked. Dennings busier and more effective. Scoring plenty of points."

O'Dell: "Aniston able to force a break. Gets off the ropes, but Kat right back on her. Banging her backward with heavy leather as the bell rings. Dennings' round..."

McCarthy: "56-55 Aniston is how I've got it. Dennings has fought her way back into the thing."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Seventh round begins with Dennings on the hunt again. Aniston backing and circling, trying to get some space, but Kat isn't going to give her any. Dennings cutting the ring off, thumping the ribs and belly, looking to bring that guard down. Aniston flurrying back, but Dennings blocking most of it..."

McCarthy: "She's really slowed down, Jenny. Dennings' power has taken it out of her..."

O'Dell: "And speaking of power a hard right hook from Kat wobbled Jen just then! Aniston covers up and KAT GOES RACK! Dennings tuning up the puppies as Jen tries to block with the elbows...RIGHT HOOK AGAIN! ANISTON HURT...WOBBLES ALONG THE ROPES...LEFT UPPERCUT! JEN STAGGERS...IT'S OVER! REFEREE STOPS IT!"

McCarthy: "None too soon. Aniston out on her feet..."

O'Dell: "Referee helping Jen to her corner. The winner by TKO 7 is 'The Rack', Kat Dennings!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring where Tess Valmore has our winner, Kat Dennings!"

Tess: "Kat, a rough start tonight with a lot of punches that looked like fouls, but you came back and got the job done..."

Kat(smiling): "Didn't have any choice. After that last low blow, Neve said, 'Either YOU go out there and kick her a**, or I'M going to. And if I have to do it, YOU'RE next.' I figured it'd be a lot easier to deal with Aniston..."

Tess: "Seriously, though, when she got you in that big hole, were you worried about being able to come back?"

Kat(no longer smiling): "She didn't do herself any favors with those fouls. I'm not the best fighter in the FCBA at this point. In fact, I'm probably dead last in my own stable. But, you aren't taking liberties with me in there. Try that and you're going to get Klawed by the Kat."