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29 January 2012 Keeley Hazell vs Katy Perry

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 1 month ago

 

Keeley Hazell.jpgKaty Perry.jpg

 

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 1/29/2012, 7:39 pm

 

"Kats at the Asylum PPV". (Site: Philadelphia, Pennyslvania)

 

 

BEFORE:

"Perry and I have tangled before," says a smiling Keeley. "But, this time will be different. Perry's in a downward spiral. She's lost confidence, and I've gained it. She's mine tonight."

"Hazell is tough and she can hit," says Katy, blue eyes shining. "She gave me a fight before, and she'll do it again. But. I need this win. I've got to take her out of there. And that's what I'm going to do."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'California Gurls' and here comes Katy Perry..."

McCarthy: "Wonder if The Weirdo's using some of his famous so-called 'psychology' here, sending the kid out first so she doesn't have to wait back in the locker room."

Tess: "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Mac may be right. Have you noticed she's gone back to her original ring music? The song she used BEFORE the slump?"

O'Dell: "Well, there may be more than psychology at work here. Because look who's WITH her. That, ladies, is your Lightweight Champion of the World, Jessica Biel! Katy into the ring and Jesse into the corner..."

Tess: "Who, other than Wiz, could get maybe the best pound-for-pound fighter on the planet to work the corner for one of his fighters?"

O'Dell: "That's quite the corner Perry has over there. Biel, Campbell and Spears. One's in the Hall. Of Fame and two more who may very well join her!"

McCarthy: "CAMPBELL? Hall Of Fame? They should put Ryder in first!"

Tess: "Hmm...I haven't seen YOUR name on the inductee list, Mac..."

McCarthy: "YOURS is about to be on a TOMBSTONE!"

O'Dell: "Katy disrobes and there's ANOTHER change. Gone is the lime green bikini. Replaced by a red one..."

McCarthy: "This is all nonsense..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Voyeur' I hear, and here comes the singer herself, Keeley Hazell."

McCarthy: "She needs to stick to modeling..."

Tess: "I've seen you ACT. You need to stick to modeling, too..."

McCarthy: "What? I'm a GREAT actress!!"

Tess: "Oh, that's right. How'd it feel to get that Academy Award nomination?"

McCarthy: "I swear to GOD, Walmart..."

Tess: "Silly me! It was your COUSIN, Melissa who got the Oscar nom. Apparently you got the looks and she got the talent..."

McCarthy: "Well, I DID get the look...HEY...I've got PLENTY of talent!"

Tess: "Yes, I hear you're the best needlepointer in your Red Hat chapter..."

O'Dell: "AAAANNNDDD Keeley is into the ring, off with the robe to reveal an ocean blue number...and I think this may be the closest disrobe I've seen in a long time. Couple of rocking bodies there, Mac..."

McCarthy: "I have to admit, they're both smoking. And, on that subject, I'm going to predict that Hazell SMOKES Perry. The kid's in a huge slump, and, if she had decent management, maybe she could get out. But she doesn't. So she won't."

Tess: "Checking the fans pics here, and it's fairly evenly split, but the fans agreeing with Mac and making Hazell a slight favorite."

O'Dell: "We'll find out. There's the bell for round one. Hazell immediately forward but Katy not having any. Perry a nice, solid three-punch that stopped Keeley in her tracks. Perry then circles away and resets, lands a nice left jab. Another. Another..."

McCarthy: "Let me rub my eyes because I'm not sure if I'm seeing what I THINK I'm seeing..."

Tess: "At YOUR age, you might NOT be. See an opthamologist."

McCarthy: "Why would I want to see someone who studies birds?"

Tess: "Could NOT pay someone to write this..."

O'Dell: "Katy a nice left lead with a follow up right hook to the body. Blocks a right from Hazell, hooks the ribs, jabs the face. Keeley a glancing right that Perry mostly dodged. Katy a double-tap jab."

McCarthy: "This kid has thrown more jabs this round than she has in her entire career before tonight."

O'Dell: "Lands another there. And a hard right! Hazell misses a right and Perry ANOTHER hard right that buckled Keeley. Katy a nice flurry that backs Hazell up as the round ends! Good stuff from Katy Perry, who gets her glove slapped by a smiling Jessica Biel as she gets back to the corner!"

McCarthy: "She certainly won the round. Let's see if she can stay disciplined for more than three minutes."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "On to the second and Hazell looking to close and slug. Katy again using the jab to control the busty Brit. Hazell lands a right, but Katy responds with a nice two-punch. Keeley missing a big right and Katy landing counters."

McCarthy: "Give Perry credit. Good form, compact punching. Not getting wild or going all in, even when she had Keeley hurt."

O'Dell: "Nice exchange there and Perry got the better of it again. Hazell landed a good right, but Katy scored with three or four shots in there, backed Keeley up with the last one, a good right hook. Hazell boring forward, wanting to body up, but Katy continues slowing her advances with the left hand and dropping rights over top."

McCarthy: "Hazell needs to be busier. All single shot stuff."

O'Dell: "Definitely getting preempted and outworked. There's the bell to end the second, and Katy's got the lead."

McCarthy: "It's 20-18, but, with these two I'd be STUNNED if it goes the distance."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Let's see if it goes three. Perry right after Keeley off the bell. Lands a jab, misses a wild right. Hazell counters with a nice hook."

McCarthy: "Perry got off balance and created that opening."

O'Dell: "Katy goes body, Keeley responds, shoves Perry backward. Katy swinging back, missing badly. Hazell countering with some nice hooks to the head and belly, then shoving Perry again! Perry shoves her back and the referee in between them warning them both."

McCarthy: "Hazell is outsmarting Perry. Ticking her off with the shoving, getting her to abandon the discipline she was using and start brawling."

O'Dell: "And that's what's going on now. Both women swinging away and Keeley having the better of it, taking advantage of openings when Perry misses. There's the bell, Mac, and Hazell gets her first round."

McCarthy: "That makes it 29-28, but, again, this is NOT going ten."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Into the fourth now and Hazell looking to work inside again. Perry's ok with that and lands a solid combination to the head. Keeley counters with a hook and Katy pops a left-right."

McCarthy: "Perry back to a good, tight stance. Got a talking to between round by Biel. Maybe it took."

O'Dell: "Hazell working body, shoving Perry backward. Katy responds with a nice flurry. Keeley fires back, and Perry counters that!"

McCarthy: "Nice two-way exchange. Perry got the better of it."

O'Dell: "Hazell digs to the body and Perry answers back with a couple of hooks to the ribs. Keeley a nice right hand, and Katy fires back with a left-right-left as the bell rings. Good round, but no question Katy was in control."

McCarthy: "Kid won one round in her previous three fights. She's got three already tonight."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "The bell sounds for the fifth and Katy a whistling right hand that missed. Hazell lands a couple of counters. Katy probing with the left, high with a right hand and Keeley bangs body in response."

McCarthy: "Perry trying to hit a home run here. She's trying to time Hazell. Keeley's not exactly elusive, but she's moving the head and shoulders, keeping the gloves up, and baiting Perry into misses."

O'Dell: "Katy off balance again after missing a right-left and Keeley lands a couple of good shots. Perry flurries back but missed with almost all of it and KEELEY LANDS A COUPLE OF HARD SHOTS! Perry off balance and Hazell rung her up.."

McCarthy: "Hazell fighting a very smart fight, Jenny. Turning counter-puncher at the right times."

O'Dell: "Hazell a nice left-right. She's getting busy now after shaking Perry, banging away as the bell rings."

McCarthy: "Nice round for Keeley. She's right in it. I've got it 48-47 Perry."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "We're into the second half of the Main Event, and Perry back to the jab. Keeley looking to close and work in tight, but Katy's not having any. Perry sticking the left and hooking body off of it, moving the feet and hands, giving Hazell angles. Keeley not able to do much offensively."

McCarthy: "Perry keeps doing this, she wins the fight. She's got reach and quickness on Hazell. Use it and she's going to get her hand raised."

O'Dell: "Perry with a nice flurry, backs Hazell up. Good left hand, hooks the body with the right and HAZELL A RIGHT HAND OUT OF NOWHERE! PERRY ROCKED! Keeley going all in now, banging away. Katy being driven back into the ropes. Keeley letting both hands go, pounding heavy leather off Katy's guard and into her body."

McCarthy: "Hazell going all out to finish."

O'Dell: Keeley snaps the head back with a right hand, lands a good left hook, then digs to the midsection as the bell rings. One big punch and she stole the round, Mac."

McCarthy: "Check the replay. Perry does nothing wrong here. Good hard left, but Hazell's right already in motion. Timed just perfectly and landed right on the jaw. Might have been a bit of luck involved, but, either way, we're even at 57 after six."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Seventh round underway and Keeley Hazell going to make sure there isn't an eighth. She's swarming all over a dazed Katy right off the bell. Perry being swept back to the ropes, forced to cover up as Keeley's getting off thick."

McCarthy: "Too bad for the Perry kid. She actually showed she could do more than brawl tonight, but it's not going to matter if she can't turn this around, and it's not looking good."

O'Dell: "Hazell staying disciplined. Going body some, keeping her guard up, picking off most of Katy's counter attempts. Good right. Another. A third! Hazell going to town with Katy backed into the ropes. Perry clinching now, trying to get a fresh start. She'll get one as the referee breaks them."

McCarthy: "Hazell not looking to set up a big shot, Jenny. Just letting the hands go."

O'Dell: "And a nasty flurry there from Keeley. Knocked Katy off balance. Perry up against the ropes again as the bell rings. Big round Hazell, who's now taken the lead."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "Eighth round underway and Hazell moving forward looking to finish. Katy with a nice one-two that stops her in her tracks. Katy seems to have the legs back. Snapping jabs into Hazell's face and dodging receipts. Katy a good right hand counter there. Hazell felt that one."

McCarthy: "Perry's moving again, tightening up the form. Landing accurately."

O'Dell: "Katy backing Keeley up now, landing that hard straight left and hooking body off of it. Good left jab and a BIG STRAIGHT RIGHT..."

McCarthy: "Hazell's hurt!"

O'Dell: "Hazell staggered by a left hook and now it's Katy letting the hands go. Keeley backed into the ropes as Perry lands another big right to the head! Perry splits the gloves with a left...BOOMING RIGHT HAND! HAZELL LOLLING ALONG THE ROPES...IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! REFEREE STOPS IT! PERRY LITERALLY LEAPING INTO THE ARMS OF BIEL..."

Tess: "And not one male in the home audience is hearing any of this because they've all freeze-framed THAT little image...Katy Perry and Jessica Biel HUGGING..."

McCarthy: "You are WARPED, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "And I don't doubt that she's also correct. But, be that as it may, your winner by TKO8, Katy Perry!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore."

Tess: "I've got our winner, Katy Perry, and, Katy, a huge win for you."

Katy: "It was, Tess. I needed this one tonight. Everyone's been writing my obituary for months. I had to prove them wrong. I had to prove I could do more than brawl in there, and I got that done."

Tess: "What's next for you?"

Katy: "I'm buying Jessica Biel dinner!"

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