Queen of the Ice Hotel Title Bout

Posted by Jeri's Knockouts on 1/31/2012, 1:02 pm  (Results by Simguy)

Before: Excitement at the Ice Hotel as its reigning queen seeks to take on another would-be challenger – fresh off her victory over Blake Lively, Kelly Brook is deeply entrenched, seeking to extend her rule into new territories ripe for conquering. “I’m more than a match for any model Victoria’s Secret has to offer,” Kelly proudly proclaims, “Casta learned that. Swanepoel learned that. Lima will learn it too.” Adriana Lima is nonplussed, obviously in disagreement with Brook’s assessment – she’s got a victorious momentum going for her as well, and is making sure everyone remembers that. “Kate Upton was the first. But she most certainly will not be the last. I will take the Ice Hotel as my prize, so that all may hear my name and tremble at the sound.”

Lima in a gray chinchilla fur bikini, matching gloves and mukluks, encased in a brown mink coat; White fur bikini, matching fur gloves and mukluks for Kelly – she arrives in the ring wearing the black sable coat taken from Aishwarya Rai. Both women wear their hair down loose as they stare each other down during ring instructions, neither willing to concede even an inch to the other.

During R1: Thoughtful jab from Kelly characterizes the round – slow, steady rotation to the left, punctuated by firm stick in ones and twos to Adriana’s face and upper chest. Lima’s putting her own jab to work, but not as effectively as Brook – she’s often reacting a split second too late after getting tagged, her own punches either being blocked or missing altogether. Kelly’s not trying to exert control of terrain, and is instead content to continue circling in midring and manage Adriana. A predictable pattern begins to emerge in the latter half of the round – Kelly’s winning the jab duel, and in frustration Lima will bull forward chug at Brook’s flanks and tummy with right/left/right combos… she’s scoring points and forcing a clinch from Kelly whenever she does it, but it’s not enough to hurt Brook or wrest the initiative away from her as the Ice Queen’s left hand reigns supreme in this stanza.

R2: The contrast in faces is telling – Lima’s is twisted into a pretty, yet clearly aggravated scowl, while Brook is beaming a content, confident, and collected smile. Kelly’s showing perhaps the most intelligent jabbing anyone’s seen from her in at least the past year; she’s using rather impressive footwork to constantly find new angles to attack and impose her will. Adriana’s sullen as Kelly’s quick left is constantly biting at her eye, cheek, nose, and mouth – despite her height advantage, she’s still unable to apply good pressure as the Ice Queen keeps retreating in good order to avoid harm. Kelly’s mixing it up a bit more, following up her jabs with the odd right cross aimed at chin, or a short left uppercut to Adriana’s rack or ribs, but it’s more volume than substance – another breezy round of the Brit completely in control.

R3: Brook’s jab is starting to take on a Ryanesque feel to it as it POUNDS Lima’s face, snapping her head back forcefully each time it lands. It takes about a minute for the plan to finally come together… One jab momentarily stuns her, creating an opening for just a split second – Kelly pounces and finds all of Adriana’s chin with a right cross off the shoulder and LIMA GOES DOWN! Adriana’s dropped to her back in a sexy sprawl – propped up on her forearms, left leg bent with her knee up in the air, and a woozy look in her face as the odd disheveled lock of hair obscures her eyes. Lima takes a creaky 8 and ON COMES BROOK! Kelly pushing Adriana against the ropes and delivers a methodical beatdown to the midsection, pounding her right hand to rib behind Lima’s elbows, punching at her guard with the left to try and expose head and chest to harm… Adriana’s covered up earmuff, trying to ride it out and roll her torso with the blows as best she can, but she’s soaking up some ruinous shots… Kelly palming at Adriana’s shoulders, stacking her up for more punishment, and eats a right uppercut to the chin for her troubles… LIMA WON’T PUNK! Caution is thrown to the wind as both ladies elect to brawl – Adriana’s showing that right/left/right again, hammering Brook’s tummy and tits or tits and chin, while Kelly puts all her chips into subjugating Lima’s body. Kelly’s repeatedly caught by the uppercut, getting her head snapped back by the surprisingly heavy-handed clout; Adriana’s pained groans and whiny gasps can be heard at ringside as the swinging right slams into her ribs again and again, while the left hook carves at her stomach. Bell: Lima’s weary but defiant, convinced that she’s withstood Brook’s best punches, while Kelly’s grouchy that that she let Adriana off the hook.

R4: Adriana’s emboldened by last round’s success, storms forward looking to slug and trade. Kelly’s reverted to the jab, landing it with harmful frequency – Lima’s grimacing as her head is getting jostled roughly, while her own wider blows are missing or, at best, landing on Brook’s arms and shoulders. Kelly’s upbeat as she uses the jab to create new opportunities, coming in at new angles for her right hook to snap at Adriana’s ribs or cuff her jaw. By round’s end, Lima’s been chastised and is starting to show puffiness around her eyes – yet for all her efforts, and she’s got nothing to show for it.

R5: Kelly uses her left as a rangefinder, measuring Adriana for more right-handed harm to the head. Lima looks shabby, but is still combative as she takes one of these on the chin in order to land her own right to Brook’s ribs – Adriana immediately follows with a left hook behind the ear that sends Kelly backpedaling. Another trade of rights, and another Lima left, this one to Kelly’s jaw, and BROOK’S SHOOK! Kelly stumbles back to a corner woozily as she unravels in the face of unexpected clout… and Adriana pounces! Kelly’s earmuff, butt-against-the-turnbuckle as she tries to weather the storm… Lima’s a bit wild as she pours herself at Brook’s midsection, some punches landing cleanly to Kelly’s flanks, others bashing against the Brit’s arms. Kelly’s cringing, open-mouthed as fur mitt continuously drubs at her forearms and carves at her body… RIGHT UPPERCUT TO THE CHIN! Adriana’s punch splits up between the gloves and snaps Kelly’s head back, leaving her ramshackle! Brook’s guard sags as the way to her rack is now bare – hardhearted look on Lima’s face as she takes what she wants with merciless crisscross pounding. Aghast and blubbering in pain as her jugs are savagely ransacked, Kelly elects to try and fight her way out as she counters with wider punches to the outside of Adriana’s jugs. Delightful contrast of quick, snappy, high volume punching from Adriana versus the slow, heavy-handed bombs thrown by Kelly – both are teary-eyed, distraught by the punishment being soaked up yet unwilling to back down as the final minute of the round ticks down. RIGHT HAND LIMA! Adriana abandons her juglust first and lands another heavy blow squarely to Kelly’s chin, leaving her tottering… Lima bunches her up with a left hook to the belly and then jerks a right hook to Brook’s jaw, turning her 90 degrees and dropping her to the canvas! Adriana squeals and raises her mitts in delight at the sight of Kelly on her knees, arms draped over the middle rope as she stares blankly out into the crowd… The gonging of the bell saves the Ice Queen to fight another round.

R6: Kelly’s unsteady off her stool, not 100% there, still feeling the effects of the previous round’s drubbing. Adriana’s relishing the bully’s work – her punch count is still high, but it’s more measured than before as they’re coming in bursts of twos and threes instead of the wild slugging seen in the previous round. Kelly tries to hold canvas, but is repeatedly forced to cede ground – she’s trying to trade punches, but is regularly losing exchanges whenever a strong left hook or sturdy right uppercut from Lima toggles her chin. Adriana corners her on the ropes from time to time, applying mean-spirited clout to offending rack – Kelly’s destitute as she soaks punishment, cringing as her jugs are pounded… she’s able to clinch her way out of harm, but all that does is start the cycle over again. Late in the round, Lima once again pushes Kelly back against the strands, smirking playfully/cruelly as she tarts up her jugs with quick jabs, then bangs at them with stronger right hands… LEFT HOOK KELLY! Brook’s desperate, throws herself at Adriana and throws a punch that catches all of her chin… Lima stumbles backwards, feet in fence post holes as she suddenly comes undone! Wide right hand bashes Adriana behind the ear, buckling her knees… Kelly lands another left hook to the jaw and LIMA GOES DOWN! Picturesque collapse to the canvas from Adriana as she’s jerked 90 degrees to her left by the last punch… her legs finally give way as she drops face down on the mat. Adriana’s eyes are shut, lips wet against the canvas, and her gloves are lying in front of her head… SHE’S OUT! Brook calm in the neutral corner, resting her arms on the top rope, relieved at the sight of Adriana lying still except for the rise and fall of her back with each breath… and LIMA’S SAVED BY THE BELL! Pandemonium in the ballroom even as the metal clang still echoes off the walls – blank look of shock on Kelly’s face as she realizes that victory isn’t hers, while Adriana’s seconds rush out to carry her back to the corner and frantically try to coax some life back into their battered fighter.

R7,8: Role reversal: Adriana’s brought around with smelling salts between rounds and is still trying to shake off the hurt as the bell rings – she’s sniveling, badly demoralized as she’s thrown back into the lion’s den with Kelly. Lima immediately gets on her bicycle, backing away from pressure as Brook comes at her – Kelly calm, methodical as she reasserts herself over Adriana these six minutes. Brook malevolently seeks out Adriana’s puffy right eye, tagging it again and again with her left jab, trying to close it – Lima’s head is repeatedly rocked backwards by the impressive force behind the punch. Kelly applies systematic control over Adriana, but seems content to outbox her rather than go for something flashier – fight takes on an almost pageant feel in these stanzas as Brook lands punches for points frequently, just showing the regal composure befitting the Ice Queen as she dominates Lima. Both rounds shutout for Kelly.

R9: Signs of life from Lima, as she tries to get back into the fight – Adriana seems to have gotten her legs back under as she’s no longer retreating, coming at Kelly with more of those right/lefts in rapid, regular bursts. Brook grimaces as the occasional left hand punch lands clean against her ribs, but most of Lima’s shots bash against Kelly’s forearms and shoulders. Kelly backpedals from bell to bell, content to try and walk Adriana into harm – Brook is willing to stand and trade when sees the opportunity, and her left jab finally leaves Lima’s right eye swollen shut while her right repeatedly tags Adriana clean in the face or the tits. At round’s end, Kelly allows a soft smile to break through her stoic demeanor – who wouldn’t be pleased at the sight of Adriana busted up and battered?

R10: Kelly looks to wrap Adriana up – rare restraint from the Brit as she continues to backpedal, avoiding Lima’s attempts to lunge forward and duke it out. Slow, steady circle around the ring’s perimeter in the first minute – Kelly eases back jjjuuusssttt in time to stay of range of Adriana’s heavier punches, undoubtedly delighted by the frustration seeping onto Lima’s face. Second minute: they continue to circle… Kelly’s finally backed up against the ropes, measures Adriana with a left jab, then throws that right cross of hers to the jaw… LEFT HOOK LIMA! Brook’s beaten to the punch! Kelly’s head is violently snapped sideways by the hard force of the blow, putting her out on her feet, and a hard right hook to the side of her head rocks it back the other way! Kelly slumps forward groggily, desperate to clinch, but only succeeds in getting her hands around Adriana’s neck, leaving Lima free to pound at flank and tummy with right/left and right/left/right combinations… RIGHT UPPERCUT TO THE CHIN! Kelly’s head is snapped back by a compact blow, and she’s knocked back into the ropes. Adriana takes the time to take both of Kelly’s arms and hook them over the top rope… and LIMA WANTS JUG! Glorious rack ransacking from Adriana as she wails away with left and right hooks unopposed… Kelly’s groaning as she takes the punishment, completely helpless, half-asleep and held up only by the ropes… AND THE REF STEPS IN! TKO10 for the NEW Queen of the Ice Hotel… Adriana Lima!

After: Pandemonium! Ballroom erupts into chaos as the status quo is upended for the first time in four years – no doubt a massive upset for the jet set crowd that clearly had come with the expectation of another dominant performance from its now former queen. Punditry in the days to follow will be quick to point out that Kelly’s last right cross was slow on delivery – did the constant beating taken by her arms and ribs throughout the night have a cumulative debilitating affect on her, leaving her unable to land her trademark fight-ender when it counted?

Adriana is giddy as the gloves come off, and she marches over to claim the spoils of her victory with a walk of shame… Kelly’s distraught, her more than anyone else not anticipating that she’d end the night as someone else’s trophy. Lima alternately shoves Brook chest-first into the turnbuckle or shoving her in back-first and then mounting the ropes like she’s a member of HISC – this is the biggest win of her career by far, and she’s milking it for all it’s worth. Finally, with their prisoner march around the ring’s perimeter complete, Adriana gives Kelly the bum’s rush out of the ring. She demands – and receives – a pair of mittens and Kelly’s sable coat, which now passes to its third owner as Adriana begin the task of formally ejecting Brook from the premises.

BODY SADDLE! Victoria's Secret Body Saddle™! Face down on the ballroom hardwood, Kelly is yanked up to a kneeling position… She’s blubbering crying out in powerless outrage when she realizes that Adriana is hooking it around her torso. Lima shoves her forward onto all fours and then mounts her – sliding her knees into the pads above the hips and seating herself comfortably, Adriana takes a hold of Kelly’s hair and pulls back on them like reins with one hand, while the other reaches back and gives Brook a generous slap on the ass, telling her to giddyup. Slow ride through the ballroom and the hotel lobby as Kelly struggles to move quickly with Adriana’s weight atop her – it’s a slow, painful humiliation.

Hotel front doors are wide open when they arrive, as a third of Kelly’s possessions have already been tossed unceremoniously out onto the ground. Adriana pushes down with her weight into the seat as Kelly marches out into the snow – the familiar snow bank where Brook once had her way with so many foes is now the scene of her own degradation.

Pushing her knees down into the pads, Lima rises up like a rider on stirrups and then drops her butt down into the seat – she does it again, and again, and again. Kelly’s tired both from the last round’s pummeling and the long walk from ring to front courtyard – it doesn’t take long for her arms and legs to give way as she drops face down into the snow. Adriana rises to her feet and dusts off her hands, symbolically wiping away the old, and turns to return inside the hotel, not giving Kelly another glance. Meanwhile, the first of Lima’s new flunkies rushes forward to retrieve the saddle and bring it inside after her, leaving Brook lying sobbing and cold in the snow as the limo pulls up to take her away.

Queen Adriana’s first order of new business as the uncontested sovereign of the Ice Hotel – she commissions the construction of a new throne for herself in the ballroom to be used such that she can receive audiences and lord imperiously over her new domain. It’s going to be a long time before winter rolls around again – Adriana intends to rule with an iron fist until it does.