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19 February 2012 Holly Valance vs Kelly Rowland

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 1 month ago

Holly Valance.jpg Kelly Rowland.jpg

Posted by simguy on 2/19/2012, 4:31 pm

Before: "Kelly's a cheap back up singer who thinks she's tuff," Holly shrugs in prefight. "I'm a marquee-headlining pop star down under, and one of the world's hottest blondes, so do the math: Kelly Rowland can't compete!" Rowland rolling her eyes at Holly's bravado - she's heard the back-up bit before. "Back up singer in the US is worth more than headlining some Pac-rim backwater," Kelly sneers in rebuttal. "And hot blonde? Honey - there's hotter blondes by the stackful in auditions all over Hollywood even as we speak - don't flatter yourself. What this is, since you seem confused, is Kelly Rowland getting her bully on, you know? I battered Aly Michalka...you know Aly? An honest-to-God Hot Blonde? CW's finest? Yeah: I did that. So if I'm getting girls like that done, how the HELL are you supposed to compete with me?" Holly in black bra and panties set from DOA (slight velvet finish); yellow gloves; blonde tousle from DOA. Kelly in bright yellow bikini; black gloves; bob-cut hair.

During R1: Girls stepping-to, trading batting lefts amidships - each up on her left (lead) leg, whacking away frisky to set the tone. Kelly the first to come off-tummy, swipe-hooking Holly's jugs, then leaning in to catch her a short, jamming right to chin. Valance stumbling away from the hot-combo, but showing poise: blonde girl using her legs to buy time for head to clear. Rest of the way a series of sharp, sudden engagements as Kelly tries to build on the early advantage, finding plenty of resistance as Valance stabilizes her front while retreating in good order. Bell: Valance samples Kelly's jugs via cheap late hook...angry Rowland back into her rival's belly with both hands pumping until ref intervention.

R2: Holly circling to her right: Kelly stalking. Kelly jabbing to locate Holly's tits: Valance swatting back hooks from her hip; legging out of range. Midway through, Kelly lunges forward behind a poking jab to forehead...brings the overhand chopping right to chin and BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Sudden strike locks up Holly's legs/drops her to her back...she's badly hurt! Holly bravely beats the count on rickety legs...Kelly wades in and POURS ON THE HURT! Vicious stuff from Kelly Rowland: slapping hook that drifts a smidge low; sweeping right kissing across Holly's lips; clanging hook that tugs Holly's chin to the side. Valance catching, hands drooping, eyes staring...she's helpless, staring into punches! RIGHT HAND, KELLY ROWLAND! Kelly leans in with a short shot to jaw - dips torso-right to pull a short hook across Holly's brow but blonde girl's already asleep. Valance pooling to her right, spreading out on her belly to lie parallel to ropes...stunning KO2 Kelly Rowland.

After: Rowland-haters can suck it yet again: Kelly proves to be blonde-kryptonite as well-regarded Holly falls prey to Kelly's quicks. "When you're good," Kelly smiles in postfight, "you make good fighters look ordinary. That's how I did Aly, that's how I did Holly. It's time to start thinking of me as awesome, boys. Not just good, but great. Too good for chumps, you know what I'm saying? I'm Missy Peregrym good. I'm Miss Britney Spears good. Hell, I'm Jessica Biel good! Lets get me into some big-money fights and start printing green, boys!" In days to follow, Valance will complain bitterly of the "paralyzing effect" of Kelly's "flagrant lowblows", demanding a rematch ASAP.