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4 March 2012 Sara Jean Underwood vs Nicole Scherzinger

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 1 month ago

Sara Jean Underwood.jpg Nicole Scherzinger 03.jpg

"An I.F.F.I. Proposition at the Asylum"

(Site" Asylum Arena. Philadelphia Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 3/4/2012, 7:10 pm

BEFORE:

"They're all picking against me," says lovely Sara Jean Underwood. "Nicole is too good, too quick, too big. But they all picked against Amanda Peet, too. Just call ME Amanda, 2.0."

"I've heard what they're saying," says Nicole, shaking her head. "No-win situation. Win, and who did I beat? Lose, and I might be looking for work. Know what? It ISN'T a no-win situation. Not only CAN I win, I'm GOING to."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Getting ready to go for another big night at The Asylum and that's Lady Gaga and 'The Fame' and here comes Sara Jean Underwood..."

McCarthy: "You know what's sad about being Underwood? No matter how great her career ends up being, she'll never be more than the SECOND Greatest Fighting Playmate Of All-Time..."

Tess: "And me without my hip waders..."

McCarthy: "Shut it, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "First five minutes of the broadcast for those of you in office pools. Underwood into the ring, helped off with the robe, and that is quite the scarlet bikini she has on..."

Tess: "This is the part where Mac says she doesn't have a Playmate's body, only Sara most certainly DOES, since she IS one..."

McCarthy: "SHUT IT, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "And, for you fans who have drinking games based around 'Shut it, Walmart', you are on pace to be CRUSHED by about the third round. Meanwhile, that's 'Don't Cha' I hear, and here comes the singer of said tune, Nicole Scherzinger!"

McCarthy: "Over. Rated. And Amanda Peet proved it. And how the mighty have fallen. Former number one contender. Now jerking the curtain.!

O'Dell: "'The Hawaiian Hammer' into the ring and helped off with the robe by Britney and Neve. New duds! A nice caramel number..."

Tess: "Nobody wins a disrobe against Scherzinger. Not even a Playmate."

McCarthy: "Are you BLIND! Sara's at LEAST even tonight, and I BLEW HER AWAY when WE fought!"

O'Dell: "Can we get a pick, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Underwood's certainly a big underdog, but no more than Peet was. IF you recall, J-MAC was the one who picked THAT upset, and she's going to be the one to pick THIS one. Oh, and, when Underwood wins, I'm taking action on how long Scherzinger remains employed at Front Street. The over-under is 30 seconds."

O'Dell: "There's the bell and Sara right after Nicole, wants to mix it up and Scherzinger more than willing! The two beauties loading them up and letting them go!"

McCarthy: "I can't believe this is Scherzinger's game plan. The Original Dancing Hooker is waaay too fragile to trade!"

O'Dell: "Underwood WINGING away, but not finding much. Nicole elusive, moving the head and hands, then firing back with solid jabs. Standing flat-footed, though. No dancing. Not backing up a step. Underwood with a big left hook...OHHH! IT'S OVER! SCHERZINGER WITH A BRUTAL RIGHT HAND COUNTER AND SARA JEAN WENT DOWN LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!"

Tess: "If this were hide and seek she couldn't beat the count..."

O'Dell: "Underwood lying motionless, face down. Referee's counting. Seven. Eight. Just a formality. Nine. Ten. That's it! The winner by KO1, Nicole Scherzinger!"

McCarthy: "Kid never moved a muscle..."

Tess: "That was one of the nastiest punches I've seen since I've been covering the FCBA. That was an execution..."

McCarthy: "Let's check the replay and you'll see why they're currently bringing Sara Jean around in stages on her stool. Underwood throws a left hook and watch Scherzinger switch weight on her feet and RIP that right hand over Sara's glove to bang home on her chin. Power goes out for the blonde immediately."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore."

Tess: "I have our winner, Nicole Scherzinger, and, Nicky, correct me if I'm wrong, but it looked to me like there was a little venom behind that right hand..."

Nicole: "You know, Tess, I'm getting a little sick of my ability being questioned all the time. Everybody loses fights, but every time it happens to me I'm overrated or not tough enough or too fragile. I'm eleven for fifteen and that's not good enough for some people, like your pal McCarthy. Well, you know what? The haters can kiss my a**, because I'm as good as anyone in this division, and they KNOW it."