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17 March 2012 Post Fight McCarthy vs Regan

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 12 months ago

Posted by A report from behind the bar on 3/17/2012, 11:41 am

 


McCarthy lolls about on her back while Regan grips the bar for support, both fighters too beat up to care who's won and who's lost. Regan sees stars as she turns to see the Screej contingent bust in through the back of the bar all three women wearing tight bright green sweaters emblazened with the Screej crest on their right chests.

Gena Lee Nolin leads the charge against a Bazz crew of one. Cassie Scerbo leaps up onto the table where McCarthy is napping and lets out a high pitched war cry seemingly unafraid of the welters closing in on her.

"Nolin I got you first and then Prejean I'm gonna make you my BEYOTCH!" The flyweight yells to the delight of the white collared crowd hungry for some more rough housing.

"I've always admired your moxie little girl but if you know what's good for ya you'll go blow out Taps on your boss' bag pipes and let us finish this!" Gena yells back at the short order.

"Not likely ya foookan hewar!" Cassie yelps before launching a quick right hand that catches Nolin's chin causing the crowd to erupt.

Gena staggered but mostly unaffected by the flyweight blast simply shakes her head as if given a chore she'd rather not deal with grabs Scerbo and with an incredible show of Irish power tosses her across the room like a ragdoll. In a display of Disney trained gymnastic prowess Scerbo does a half gainer in mid air and lands against the wall above a booth filled with investment bankers and a gaggle of what looks like some of the most expensive hookers money can buy. Scerbo slides down the wall like a cat landing paws first and crashes to the table non the worse for wear except for knocking over a large drink being consumed by the same gorgeous Asian earlier dispatched by McCarthy.

"Hey you crazy freak! You knocked over my Scotch! Get the hell outta here!" The Asian woman squeals as she grabs at the elusive flyweight.

"A Scotch huh? Why not make it a double!" Before the woman can react Cassie clocks her in the snout with a left jab. The Asian woman goes down screaming about the $10,000 spent by her last boyfriend to make her nose right in the first place while the crowd roars with howls and laughter.

The three Screej women turn in unison towards Regan. Adrienne Palicki barks out "Ya gotta know this ain't personal Red. This is St Patty's Day and we don't lose on St. Patty Day."

Suddenly the front door to Fionn's nearly busts off it's hinges and in rumbles the Bazz crew. Moon Bloodgood and Rhona Mitra lead the charge followed by a Law & Order contingent of Lis Rohm and Alana De La Garza and then Monica Brant, Jill Wagner, Olivia Wilde and Aly Michalka. As she walks by Wagner grabs a shot away from a commodity broker blessed with a prodigious and perfectly rounded gut and downs it.

"Hey ya hag what makes ya think yer gonna get away with that?" The round mound bellows.

"This!" Jill responds and then unleashes an uppercut that snaps out and burrows into the portly man's protrusion of a joe causing a loud "Ooooooof" to blow out of his pie hole and his knees to buckle.

"What did you just call my dear friend ya corned beef stuffed donkey?" Olivia Wilde barks at the chubby patron who can only groan in response as The Wilde Girl begins a barrage of backhanded slaps across the unfortunate man's jowls as payback.

Meanwhile the rest of the Bazz girls advance on the Screej tribe. Bloodgood being the alpha girl steps up to Nolin "Was that you who threw our Scerbo across the room? You can't get away with that! Only we get to throw her around like that!"

"Yeah that was me and now you're gonna get some of this!" With that Nolin throws a haymaker that Bloodgood just can't quite avoid catching it on the chops causing her to spin in place. Nolin tries to follow up with an uppercut only to catch a Boodgood knee to the groin which doubles her over.

Palicki bulls head down into Monica Brant and Aly Michalka and drives them into the same booth where Scerbo had landed. The Asian hottie just recovering from Scerbo's jab to the reconstructed snorkel having already crossed this event off her calender for next year gets swept away by the three girls and into the wall like a hockey player getting a brutal check into the boards. As the girls wrestle along the booths theAsian slums down completely done for the day.

Lis Rohm no stranger to a bar room brawl from her misspent youth throws a Guinness into Carrie Prejean's face and follows up with a right cross that sends the beauty queen into a tantrum screeching "No fair! No fair!"

A rather large red headed lawyer with cathers' mitts for hands tries to grab at Rohm's hair having just been relieved of his beverage but in mid lunge he is interrupted by an eyelash fluttering Alana De La Garza smiling in front of him. Having the ego of a typical lawyer he smiles back thinking that the Beauty would actually spend time with a man with a head the size of St Bernard's and a suit off the rack from Moe Ginsbergs.

"Ya know you girls' owe me a beer. Why don't you join me pretty lady. I know how to treat a beautiful woman." The smiling barrister belts out with a drunken slur.

"I doubt that. Why not sober up with this instead." With that said De La Garza thrusts a knee up into the man's nether region causing him to let out a rather sickly "Aaaaaaw" and when he bends over follows up with another knee to the side of head that sends a set of dentures flying out of his mouth and into the air like a foul ball at Fenway Park only to land on the bar like some sort of hideous tip for the bartender.

Suddenly there's a roar from the front of the room that rises above the screaming and howling flooding the bar. "Alright! Alright! That's enough of the houliganism!"

Standing side by side are Poindexter Del Crunchy and Screej. The girls slow their furious motion as their managers bark out orders to them. Only Gena Nolin and Moon Boodgood two welter rivals keep going at it. When the two managers step in Nolin makes a turn towards Pointy and lets a right hand fly. It bounces off the big man's chest with a deadening thud.

"Ow! Oh sweet saints above! That's an owie! Are you wearing some sort of brick flack jacket?" Nolin grabs her arm in pain as Screej picks her up into the air like a suitcase and deposits her gently out of harms way.

"Lassie it's not nice to hit a man. We're the fairer sex in the FCBA ya know." Pointy grins as he steps aside to avoid a drunken Wall St trader trying to earn points by defending Gena's honor only to get a bottle of Tullamore Dew across the back of the head from a rather agile Screej.

"We'll need another bottle barkeep. It seems that we've finished this one." Screj exchanges the broken bottle for a new one and pours into a ration of glasses set up along the bar.

"Here's to a rousing brawl by our Bridget Regan and your Jenny NcCarthy! I could get used to hanging with you Screej girls you're hot tickets." Pointy raises his glass and the whole bar joins in the first of what will turn out to be a whithering array of toasts to celebrate the FCBA and St Patty's day.

Jenny McCarthy sits up on the pool table to gather her wits. She's met by a smiling Cassie Scerbo holding a bowl of some sort of green gelatin.

"What's that!" McCarthy looks at the flyweight without an ounce of trust.

"Green pistachio pudding!" Scerbo responds holding the bowl and handing one of two spoons to McCarthy.

"That can't be good!" McCarthy says back.

"It is now." Bridget Regan steps up and pours a healthy portion of whiskey into the bowl and grabbing the other spoon from Scerbo takes a healthy scoop out and eats it.

"Just for today Scerbo! Just for today! Tomorrow it's back to war!" McCarthy takes a healthy spoonful and eats it down with a fatlipped smile.

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