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8 April 2012 January Jones vs Jewel

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 11 months ago

January Jones 01.jpg Jewel Kilcher 4.jpg

("BBU INVASION OF THE ASYLUM")

(Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvanai)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 4/8/2012, 12:35 am

BEFORE:

"Jewel is yesterday's news," says a smiling January. "The boxing press says it's time for her to retire, and they're right. And tonight I'm going to take her apart, just like I did Dennings."

"Well, I guess there HAVE been some people who've said I ought to hang it up after the Stowe fight," says Jewel, shaking her head. "I'm not sure what fight those people were watching, but I'm not ready for the pasture just yet. And January's about to find that out."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Lullaby', by The Cure and here comes January 'Jugz' Jones..."

McCarthy: "Kid finally got an FCBA win last time out by beating Dennings, one of the overrated Dancing Hookers, and she's looking to put another streetwalker in the street..."

Tess: "Again, says the woman who posed naked for money, UNlike Jewel!"

McCarthy: "YOU'RE the one who said she should RETIRE, Walmart!"

Tess: "I said she should THINK about retiring. And I've said the same thing about YOU. Glad to see you're listening!"

McCarthy: "I'm retiring on MY terms, not because I'm listening to YOU!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Jones into the ring, helped off with the robe, nice white number that 'Jugz' fills out VERY well...and there's 'Intuition' and here comes the singer of said tune, 'The Mama Bear', Jewel!"

Tess: "So, Mac, I'm interested in YOUR opinion, as a soon-to-be-ex-fighter. Is the time right for Jewel to retire?"

McCarthy: "No, I don't think so. I think the time was right for her to retire about ten years ago!"

Tess: "Ba dum bum..."

O'Dell: "Jewel into the ring, helped off with the robe by Neve and Britney, wearing that nice purple two-piece she favors..."

McCarthy: "Tractorpull once said she ought to wear a potato sack. Only time that magazine has ever been right."

O'Dell: "Tess favors Jewel despite the retirement talk. Can we get a pick, Mac?"

McCarthy: "I think you have two fighters going in different directions. Jones is on the way up, Jewel on the way out. I like January to win this one."

O'Dell: "We're about to find out. There's the bell for the first. Jewel moving forward looking to work body. Jones, of course, wants to box. Was able to do that effectively against Dennings, but Jewel working past her gloves, getting in close, and banging away."

McCarthy: "This is Kilcher's game, not January's. Jones needs to get some space."

O'Dell: "Jewel's not allowing her to do that right now. Banging ribs and belly, going upstairs with some effective flurries. Jones firing back in spots, but clearly being outworked."

McCarthy: "Jones needs to show more movement here. Jewel locating her too easily."

O'Dell: "And she's taking full advantage with a nice flurry at the bell. Excellent round and excellent start for Jewel."

McCarthy: "She's up 10-9 after one, but if this keeps up, we're not going to need to go to the cards."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Moving to the second now and Jewel continuing with the pressure. Jones trying to get some distance, but Jewel working her way inside and landing effectively. Backing January up. Looking to smother her and having success doing it."

McCarthy: "Jones needs to get busier. Doing too much covering up."

O'Dell: "Jewel a SOLID left and...AND JONES ROCKS HER WITH A RIGHT HAND COUNTER!"

McCarthy: "Jewel is hurt!"

O'Dell: "And Jones going all in! January wobbling the veteran with a good combination. Backing her up. Jewel trying to cover up, but Jones letting the hands go, finding gaps in Jewel's defense, snaps the head back with a right! ANOTHER big right...IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! Referee steps in! The winner by a SHOCKING TKO2 a suddenly HOT January 'Jugz' Jones!"

McCarthy: "I TOLD you! Two fighters headed in opposite directions! Jones up in the rankings and Kilcher out to pasture!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I'm here with our winner, January Jones, and this is clearly a HUGE win for you, January..."

January: "'Huge' is the word, Tess. No disrespect to Dennings, but she's an inexperienced, developing fighter. Taking out Jewel, a hundred-fight veteran and former champion PROVES I can fight at this level. And this is just the beginning! January Jones has arrived!"