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5 May 2012 Kaley Cuoco vs Candice Swanpoel

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 10 months ago

 

Kaley Cuoco 01.jpgCandice Swanepeol 01.jpg

 

Posted by simguy on May 5, 2012, 8:54 am

 

 

BEFORE: Candi feeling saucy in prefight - at one weigh-in, she's in her skivvies, grinning like a mean-girl on the scales when she brays: "Stop the fight ref - I'm too hot! Kaley can't touch this!" Cuoco non-plussed - all part of the Candice Swanepoel circus. "I've beaten tall girls before," Kaley reminds press, "and I'm talking about quality tall - not trashy tall. Candi's thin and weak: one good hit should change her attitude. Two will end her night!" Candice in tiger print push up; black velvet low-riding boy-cut trunks; small black gloves. Kaley in black bikini; small white gloves; hair up in loose twist in back with fun ringlets framing face. Swanny posing hands on hips, head cocked to one side during staredown - SO brazen. Kaley? Glaring.

R1: Candi lopes to her left - left elbow up as she ping-ping-pings the left jab, then looks to slap-chop Kaley righty-above-the-hip. Cuoco non-chalant with hands - left dangling, right cocked at her hip - using footwork to negotiate distance; moving her head/torso vs Candi's rangy poke. Cat and mouse for two minutes - Kaley finally able to poke a lead right onto Candi's mouth on the lean in, then SMITE Candi a swatting left-off-the-thigh while shifting weight to back (right) foot. Clean bang-bang punching hammers the mouthpiece off supermodel teeth, leaving long legs shabby; beautiful eyes glassy; sensuous lips parted in wonder.

R2: Leggy model lopes to her left - dabbing that long lean jab with the elbow raised on delivery; pawing/poking slappy right hands while rotating clockwise. Kaley less busy - looking to place hard shots...she'll drop both hands at times, bending at the waist, looking to draw Candi out of position, then hurt her. Cuoco a little too patient - bendy dipsy-doodle keeps her relatively safe, but busy Candice peppering away - even occasionally pressuring Cuoco out of her stance to regroup...Swanepoel doing something of a Keibler immitation through 2.

R3: Kaley a bit more active - Swanepoel still the busier girl because of her approach - all pesky, pinging jabs up top and slap-chop right hands to body. Cuoco the harder hitter though - really placing some exquisite, slinging buggywhip right hands to Candi's ribs under supermodel jab. Swanepoel grimacing pretty when smote - legging away to regroup after any strong Cuoco-connect.

R4: Kaley-the-counterpuncher early...both hands low as she scoots to her left - feinting Candi, waiting on Swanepoel's work, then lifting punches out of either pocket to chop supermodel chin. Swanny catching clout, missing...she's confused, a little discouraged: Kaley able to punch tall girl to ropes. Kaley-the-bully takes over down the stretch - pushing head between Candi's raised mitts, fighting off Swanepoel's chest...Cuoco stacking Candi upright against ropes, hacking either hand at supple supermodel waist, then clouting Candice to either armpit as Swanny's in earmuff. Not much back from Candice - she lounges on ropes, protecting her face, sacrificing her body to Kaley's thudding mitts through 4. BREAK: Academy trainer implores Candi to "Put some stick" on Kaley - he actually shows her footage of a Theron round on a smart phone to illustrate.

R5: Candi looking like Theron-lite...not as stiff-hitting, but the right (back) heel's up off canvas; weight forward as she steps clockwise, placing the left jab on Kaley with a bit more heat. Cuoco well outside - often forced to pick mitts up to block at her head...takes Kaley two minutes before she can penetrate. Final minute more to Kaley's liking - she's inside, putting short, cuffing right/lefts to work on Candi's gut. Swanepoel in earmuff inside, pushing her guard into Kaley and competing via rangy left uppercuts...supermodel showing the heart to compete on Cuoco's chosen turf!

R6: Kaley quickly atop Candi, forcing her to ropes, fighting off her chest bell to bell. Swanny a little savvier this time - often in face-protect earmuff, but at least she's tying up head-and-right-elbow on Kaley, holding for ref's breaks. Cuoco's position never threatened, but her momentum's slowed as breaks force her to bob her way back in and reset atop her sinewy adversary. Swanny shipping good clout to the body, but unhurt - even brazenly pursing her lips and mugging at Kaley after bell!

R7: Ropes: Kaley atop Candice - pushing on her, bullying her, beating her ribs/flanks/waist. Swanepoel gritting her teeth, showing some spirit...she's fighting here - holding Kaley behind the head with the left hand while clipping her right uppercuts; bumping Kaley off via left shoulder, then lapping rangy right/left uppercuts to Kaley's body. These are Cuoco's terms though: she's claiming heavily against slender ribs; taking some jug now; clouting Candice across either cheek with close-in swat. Candi defiant at bell, pushing Kaley off and bringing ref in...but Cuoco starting to wring points out these rounds now. BREAK: Trainer settles Candice, then says; "Baby: be taller. Spread this girl out; make her come to you; catch her on the way in."

R8: Ropes: Kaley atop Candice, working. Cuoco: head in Candi's chest; shoulders rolling hup-hup-hup as fists bump body; chickenwinged left elbow propping Candi; cuffing left hooks cutting at Candi's waist/cheek. Swanepoel: brawling! Despite Kaley's thumping good work, Swanny's in there all disheveled hair/bared teeth - licking rangy right uppercuts to scrape chin; snatching lanky hooks off Kaley's tummy; pushing Kaley off with chickenwing left elbow. Great spirit from Candice, but again: not the fight her trainer wants; not the fight she can win.

R9: Kaley atop Candi at ropes again: Cuoco in there bumping shoulders; pushing her head in; cuffing ribs, digging up tummy. Swanepoel finally showing signs of body-exhaustion: mouth open; eyes distressed...she's either trying to push Kaley off with both hands, or tie her up - Swanny unable to punch off shaky legs. Oh that Kaley - just a-choppin' at her model...brawny little bully in there tight, smothering the lankier blonde, using her up. Candi growing progressively more sluggish until finally - swatting hook in the belly paralyzes her; cuffing hook to jaw toggles her chin...she tilts sleepily onto Kaley in a sloppy clinch attempt - Cuoco just twitching that tight right uppercut clean to chin, switching off power to Candi's legs. Tall blonde sloughs off shorter blonde to belly-in at Cuoco's feet...happy smile on Kaley's face as she puffs hair out of her eyes. KO9 Kaley Cuoco.

After: Promising start for Candice evaporates as she lets Kaley dictate terms...Cuoco showing her versatility in transitioning from agile counterpuncher to heartless bully as fight progressed. "She WAS tricky early," Kaley allows, grinning in postfight. "Once I started catching her, it was easier to take her to ropes, and once there, I just set up shop. Thing with Candi is - she's all gangly and hard to read, so if you compress her at ropes, all that gets negated. Easy-peasy: just bullied her, broke her down, touched her in the body to kill those legs; took the chin once it was ready to go. Sweet!"

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