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5 May 2012 Gemma Atkinson vs Katy Perry

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 10 months ago

Gemma Atkinson.jpgKaty Perry.jpg

 

Posted by simguy/Wiz wrds on May 5, 2012, 9:03 am

 

BEFORE:

"I said this before and I'll say it again," says Gemma, eyes flashing. "Perry's made a reputation beating busty British girls: Hazell, Pinder, McCutcheon. But you'll notice there's one BIG, in more ways than one, name missing from that list. Mine. And there's a reason for that. She can't handle me. And she can't handle THESE."

"No, this isn't a JMD fight," says Katy with a tiny smile on her face. "But SOMEone's jugs ARE going to get destroyed. I can't WAIT until Gemma finds out WHOSE."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, Jenny O'Dell along with Pam Anderson and Tess Valmore, and this promises to be an interesting one, ladies. Tess is on record as favoring Perry, what do you think, Pam?"

Pam: "Katy's been made a favorite here, but I think the style may tell the tale in this one. Perry's quicker, more athletic, a better boxer, but what's being forgotten by some folks is that Gemma is the biggest, strongest girl Katy's ever fought. This is the first time, in fact, that Perry's been giving up size. Atkinson's a full welter and, if this turns into trading, as the fight goes on, that size and weight may well tell."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Brass In Pocket' by The Pretenders, and here comes the stunning Gemma Atkinson."

Tess: "Gemma may not be popular with certain ladies, but the guys sure like her from the reaction I'm hearing..."

O'Dell: "And they like THIS even more! Gemma disrobes to reveal a barely-there pink bikini..."

Pam: "I know it's a cliche, but you could have sold tickets to this disrobe..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'California Gurls' on the sound system and here comes the singer of said song, 'The Santa Barbara Slugger' Katy Perry!"

Tess: "All business these days. She used to come bouncing down the aisle smiling and waiving. That's all changed."

O'Dell: "Into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Britney, and Ms. Perry getting quite the reaction to that red number SHE'S wearing..."

Pam: "Good thing McCarthy's not at ringside tonight. I don't think she could trot out that line she loves about neither girl having a Playmate body, because Hef would be pulling out the checkbook right now."

O'Dell: "Ladies ready and there's the bell for the first. Katy moving, sticking. Accurate left hand. Ducking and blocking Gemma's receipts. Hooking off the jab with the right."

Pam: "That's the quickness and athleticism advantage I talked about. Katy's not a slick boxer at this point, but she's got the TOOLS to box well and she's been improving at it."

O'Dell: "Gemma, on the other hand, looking to pressure, cut off the ring, slug in close. Atkinson trying to square Katy up, lands a nice left-right and Katy fires right back. Ladies toe to toe now, going body, Gemma upstairs with a good right, Katy buries a hook to the ribs. Atkinson tying up, hooking body with her free hand, shoving Perry off and landing a good right."

Pam: "That quickly, we've gone from fighting Perry's fight to fighting Gemma's. Atkinson slugging inside, shoving Katy off balance, creating openings to land solid stuff."

Tess: "Katy needs to get back to moving."

O'Dell: "Gemma not having it, smothering Perry, scoring to the body as the bell rings. Close round, but I have it for Atkinson."

Pam: "Agreed. Katy had the edge early, but I think Gemma made up the stagger and took the lead."

Tess: "I have it 10-9 for Atkinson."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "We're into the second now, and the Brit continuing to pressure the American. Perry wants some space, can't seem to get it..."

Pam: "THAT will get it for her!"

O'Dell: "Short right hook from Katy and it wobbled Atkinson!"

Pam: "She's hurt, Jenny! NASTY right hand!"

O'Dell: "Perry letting the hands go, backing Gemma up..RIGHT HAND AGAIN...Atkinson stumbles back  into the ropes. Straight left snaps Gemma's head back! Katy now going body as Gemma covers up."

Pam: "Perry needs to settle down here. Getting long and wild on her punches. Missing too much. Landing on gloves and arms. She's got Gemma in trouble. She has time. Set up your punches."

O'Dell: "Katy banging away at Atkinson's gloves, trying to take her out of here. Gemma doing just enough to keep the referee at bay. Perry looking for the big one, maybe trying too hard like Pam said."

Pam: "Should go body now, bring that guard down. Too much head hunting."

O'Dell: "Trying to finish before the round ends, but she's out of time. There's the bell. Atkinson unsteady back to the corner."

Pam: "Check the replay and we'll see why. Gemma moving in close, crowding Katy. Perry takes a slide step, back and to her right. Atkinson steps forward to her left and Katy's right is already moving. BAM! Right on the left cheek. Check another angle. Watch Atkinson's legs wobble when this thing lands. No idea what kept her up. None. Head swiveled. Legs started to go. Somehow she kept her feet, but I don't think she's recovered yet."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Bell for the third and KATY LANDS A THREE-PUNCH COMBINATION THAT ROCKS GEMMA!"

Pam: "Atkinson is in TROUBLE, ladies."

O'Dell: "And Katy KNOWS it. Perry pot-shotting with the left jab. Atkinson lead legged and wobbly...RIGHT HOOK! GEMMA STUMBLES BACKWARD...REELS INTO THE ROPES...AND KATY STEPS TO AND LAYS IN THE HOOKS!"

Pam: "THIS is the idea. Gemma with the guard up, work that body."

O'Dell: "Katy digging to the ribs and belly, lathering the lats...snaps the head back with a left uppercut, digs to the midsection again, Gemma doing next to nothing..."

Tess: "Which is more than the referee is doing! No offense, Pam, but is he watching old reruns of 'Baywatch' or something?"

O'Dell: "Perry turning Gemma's head with hooks that are banging off the Brit's high guard...AND PERRY GOES RACK! Katy hooking those puppies with both hands!.Gemma leaning forward, tightening the elbows, trying to cover up the rack...BUT KATY FINDING THE TARGETS, REEFING SHORT HOOKS INTO THAT PINK BIKINI TOP! ATKINSON SHUDDERING WITH EVERY BLOW!"

Pam: "I'm hoping 'Baywatch' is getting to a commercial, because Perry has thrown a blanket over Atkinson and is beating her with a baseball bat..."

O'Dell: "Perry rips a shovel hook to the belly...Gemma folds forward...Perry shoulders her back upright and BANGS another flurry into Gemma's jugs. Atkinson folding forward, reaching out to clinch and Perry blasts a right hook to the rack that sends Gemma stumbling to her left..."

Pam: "Perry's got her trapped in the corner now. What fight are you watching, ref?"

O'Dell: "Katy going right back to work and OH, THE JUGMANITY! PERRY GOING TO TOWN ON ATKINSON'S RACK...HAMMERING AWAY UNOPPOSED! GEMMA'S KNEES WOBBLING, BODY SHAKING WITH EVERY PUNCH...ATKINSON'S GUARD COMES DOWN...KATY POUNDS A LEFT-RIGHT TO THE PUPPIES AND STEPS ASIDE AND GEMMA FALLS FORWARD TO THE MAT!"

Pam: "Referee finally waking up. Going to do his job and count. Not that he needs to..."

O'Dell: "Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! And your winner by KO3 is 'The Santa Barbara Slugger' Katy Perry!"

Tess: "Check the replay, ladies, and it tells the tale. Watch where Gemma's hands go when her guard comes down. Right to the jugs, and that's where they still were, trapped under her, when she hit the mat. In fact, that's where they still are NOW..."

Pam: "What you just saw, ladies, was the absolute destruction of a big, strong welterweight..."

O'Dell: "Well, PART of a big, strong welterweight anyway."

Pam: "I have a feeling a lot of calls from Front Street looking for opponents for Perry are about to start going straight to voice mail..."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Katy Perry, and Katy, it looked like you were looking to box early on, but that changed pretty quickly..."

Katy: "I could have boxed her ten rounds and won a decision. I proved that against McCutcheon. But then she'd still have been on about how I was afraid of her rack attack and wouldn't go jug to jug with her. I wanted her to know not just who the better fighter was, but whose rack was better, so I knocked hers out."

Tess(smiling): "You sound like a JMD fighter. Are you thinking of going after that title?"

Katy(smiling): "Well, Wiz doesn't DO JMD. Who knows? Maybe he'll change his mind."

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