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20 May 2012 Sarah Hyland vs Jamie Lynn Spears

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 9 months ago

Sarah Hyland 01.jpgJamie Lynn Spears.jpg

 

 

 

THE PRIDE AT THE ASYLUM PPV

 

(Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

 

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on May 20, 2012, 4:24 pm

BEFORE:

"Everyone knows the flyweight pecking order at Front Street," says a sweetly smiling Sarah. "There's Stewart and everybody else. Well, seeing as I gave Stewart a fight, I'm pretty sure I can handle 'everybody else'."

"Sarah's about to discover the error in her logic," says Jamie Lynn, not a trace of a smile on her face. "Because she's starting with a flawed premise, that Kristen is the best flyweight at Front Street. She's not. And I'm about to show Sarah who is."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'You're The Only One' by Maria Mena, and here comes Sarah!"

McCarthy: "Maria What'shername again? Can't these girls pick better music?"

Tess: "Like 'My Ding-A-Ling', by Chuck Berry?"

McCarthy: "What are you TALKING about, Walmart?"

Tess: "It was the number one song when you were born...40 years ago!"

McCarthy: "I was NOT born 40 years ago! I'm still 39!"

Tess: "Tick. Tick. Tick."

McCarthy: "Shut it, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys!"

Tess: "Consider yourself lucky, Mac. If you'd been born a couple of weeks earlier, it would have been a Michael Jackson song about a RAT."

McCarthy: "What are you TALKING about, Walmart? Michael Jackson never did a song abouta RAT..."

Tess: "Yes, he did, Mac. It's called 'Ben'..."

McCarthy: "That's not about a RAT, it's about Ben AFFLECK!"

Tess: "Mac, that song came out about the time Ben Affleck was BORN..."

McCarthy: "See?"

Tess: "You can't FIX stupid and you can't ARGUE with it, either..."

McCarthy: "What ARE you babbling about?"

O'Dell(sighing): "Hyland into the ring, where there are no rats in sight..."

McCarthy: "No, the ones in THIS arena are in the OWNERS box..."

O'Dell: "Sarah wearing a nice black number, and that's 'Follow Me' blasting out of the sound system and here comes 'The Princess', Jamie Lynn Spears!"

Tess: "Jewel stepping out of the ring to take a seat ringside, as usual when Jamie Lynn fights. Corner is run by just one person when that happens, and that's big sis..."

McCarthy: "If the Weirdo was smart, and, of course, he's not, he'd get Jewel out of the ring all together. She ought to retire from boxing, because she can't fight anymore, and she's a horrible trainer."

Tess: "Says the woman with ZERO training wins..."

McCarthy: "Don't START, Walmart..."

O'Dell: "Jamie Lynn into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Britney to reveal the familiar pink bikini. Kid IS filling out some, isn't she, Mac?"

McCarthy: "She's thicker than she used to be. Didn't have any trouble making the weight, though, according to my sources INSIDE Front Street..."

Tess: "'Sources INSIDE Front Street'? The only thing that leaks less than Front Street is a NUCLEAR SUBMARINE!"

McCarthy: "Stop babbling, Walmart! I HAVE sources! And I don't know what an old Beatles song has to do with anything!"

Tess: "Beatles? That was YELLOW..."

O'Dell: "IF we can return to Planet Earth, both Mac and Tess have picked Jamie Lynn in this one. There's the bell, and we're under way. Hyland looking to bounce and jab. Jamie Lynn showing plenty of movement herself, bobbing and weaving, hooking the body. Spears getting in a nice rhythm quickly. Stepping left, turning, hooking the belly."

McCarthy: " Early body work can do a couple of things. It can start taking away a girl's legs, and it can start bringing out the quit in her."

O'Dell: "Hyland doesn't look like doing that, but she IS taking plenty of punishment amidships. Spears showing a lot of movement, frustrating Sarah's attempts at offense, working the body effectively."

McCarthy: "That movement is worth noting, because LACK of same has been a problem for Jamie Lynn in the past."

O'Dell: "No problem with that here and no problem winning the round, either. There's the bell."

Tess: "Spears easily."

McCarthy: "Agreed."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "On to the second now and Hyland letting the hands gob Jamie Lynn backing into the ropes, guard high, letting the punches bounce off her shoulders..."

McCarthy: "Is she..."

O'Dell: "She is. The younger Spears working from the pocket, hooking the body in counter..."

Tess: "Wonder where she learned THIS..."

O'Dell: "My guess would be from big sis, who's looking pretty pleased in the corner. Hyland scrappy, firing away, but not able to penetrate Jamie Lynn's defenses. The blonde timing the counters well, hooking to the belly and now working up torso."

McCarthy: "Good stuff from Jamie Lynn. Taking advantage of every opening and not giving her opponent a single one..."

O'Dell: "And Jamie Lynn landing some good shots. She has a lot of power for the weight and Hyland's feeling it, wincing as those hooks bang home, but not backing up a step as the bell rings."

McCarthy: "Very good round for Spears."

Tess: "20-18 after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Into the third now, and Hyland again banging away. Jamie Lynn comfy in the pocket, blocking with the shoulders and arms, digging back heavy receipts to the body..."

McCarthy: "Walmart, you're always hanging around The Weirdo and his Dancing Hookers...have you ever seen Jamie Lynn working on this?"

Tess: "Not once. Which tells me that said work went on before prying eyes arrived..."

O'Dell: "Well, whenEVER the work took place, it's clearly had an effect. Jamie Lynn very comfortable. Frustrating Hyland with her defense, working the body, then coming upstairs to land some nice shots to the head."

McCarthy: "Hyland busy, but can't crack the defense. Throwing a lot of leather and landing almost nothing. Spears throwing less, but the shells she's launching are finding the target."

O'Dell: "Sofening up Sarah to the body, then finding openings upstairs, and finishing with a nice combination to the head as the bell rings!"

McCarthy: "Spears has gotten better every round. In total control of this kid now..."

Tess: "And in total control of the scorecards. 30-27 through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round underway and Hyland again banging away at the Spears defenses...AND SPEARS ROCKS HER! JAMIE LYNN A RIGHT HOOK COUNTER AND SARAH'S KNEES DO A SHIMMY! Spears letting the hands go now, thumping away! Hyland covering up, backing up..."

McCarthy: "Jamie Lynn patient. Setting up her shots. Looking for the big one that will end it."

O'Dell: "Hyland backed into the ropes. Roles reversed. Sarah with her guard up and Jamie Lynn banging away at it. Spears splits the gloves! Again! Again! Hyland's knees buckle...Spears sends her staggering right with a right to the side of the head...IT'S OVER! Referee has seen enough! The winner by TKO4 in impressive fashion is 'The Princess', Jamie Lynn Spears!"

McCarthy: "Check the replay on the punch that started it all. Hyland bangs a right hand off Jamie Lynn's shoulder. Spears shifts weight and RIPS the right hook behind the left glove. Didn't land flush, but it got plenty of the brunette."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I've got our winner, Jamie Lynn Spears. Jamie Lynn, what's all this pocket stuff?"

Jamie Lynn(laughing): "Have to ask my trainer. She's the one who's had me in early every day working on it."

Tess: "You said pre-fight that you're the best flyweight at Front Street. Didn't look like you did anything to contradict that statement..."

Jamie Lynn: "No disrespect to Kristen and Amanda, who are very good, but there's only one fly at Front Street who's beaten top level flys like Brenda Song, and you're talking to her."

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