If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

20 May 2012 Gemma Arterton vs Martine McCutcheon

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 10 months ago

Gemma Arterton 03.jpg Martine McCutcheon.jpg

THE PRIDE AT THE ASYLUM PPV

(Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on May 20, 2012, 4:29 pm

BEFORE:

"I know, I know," says a smiling Martine. "Gemma's supposed to be some sort of big deal in British boxing because she beat that fossil Zeta-Jones. Well, Ke$ha was undefeated. Then she fought ME."

"Martine can fight," says Gemma, not a trace of a smile on her face. "No question of that. But that's not what's at issue tonight. The question is, can she fight as well as I can? I know the answer. And she's not going to like it."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'On The Radio' you hear and that can mean only one lady is coming to the ring, and that lady is Martine McCutcheon..."

McCarthy: "Of course, the late Donna Summer, a REAL star, unlike McCutcheon, did the original version of this. McCutcheon's was a D-list remake..."

Tess: "What's YOUR calendar look like these days, Mac? Besides yet another Playboy shoot. Clearly for the 'Cougar' issue..."

McCarthy: "What are you IMPLYING, Walmart? My dance card is ALWAYS full..."

Tess: "If you count guest shots on 'The Price Is Right' and 'Windy City Live'..."

McCarthy: "That was CELEBRITY week on 'The Price Is Right'..."

Tess: "And, apparently, they use THAT term LOOSELY..."

McCarthy: "AND, it just so happens I have my OWN SERIES coming up this season on NBC...called 'Surprise With Jenny McCarthy'!"

Tess: "And the surprise is that a once-proud network has been reduced to giving YOU a TV show..."

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART! And, Let's get back on topic! We aren't here to talk about my film and TV career!"

Tess: "Thank goodness, or we'd have been off the air in about three minutes!"

McCarthy: "WHICH IS HOW MUCH LONGER YOU'RE GOING TO BE CONSCIOUS IF YOU DON'T SHUT IT!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Martine into the ring as shots are poured down gullets all over this great nation. Have to check the rules to see if the second one counts...truck, find out if 'if you don't shut it' qualifies. McCutcheon helped off with the robe. Wearing a nice black number...and that's The Clash and 'London Calling' pounding through the arena and here comes 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton!"

Tess: "Arterton has a couple of big MOVIES in the can...UNlike..."

McCarthy: "I SWEAR, Walmart..."

Tess: "Speaking of people who have TV shows, you know, your old buddy Heather Paige Kent has a show and she's married to..."

McCarthy: "First, she's FIFTH banana on a trashy reality show. And, second, I'm WARNING you..."

Tess: "She's married to a wealthy plastic surgeon! She could give you a loan and he could help with that jaw of yours. Maybe some touch up work on your face before your TV gig...THINK about it, Mac..."

McCarthy: "YOU'RE going to be thinking about how long you have to stay in a BODY CAST..."

O'Dell(sighing): "Arterton into the ring. Helped off with the robe. Wearing violet again tonight and looking very, very good in it. And, before we can get back to talking about 70s disco queens, trashy reality shows, and plastic surgery, and, don't ASK how we get on subjects like this, both Mac and Tess have picked Gemma, so they agree on SOMEthing. There's the bell for round one. Arterton finding the range with the jab. Sticking that left. Pre-empting McCutcheon with it."

Tess: "I've said this before, but that big, sledgehammer jab is becoming a Front Street big girl trade mark. Sobieski has it. Decker has it. Torv has it. Ruah's shown it, too."

O'Dell: "And it's working pretty well for Gemma. She's finding range with it, fitting rights off of it. McCutcheon not perturbed at all, though. Stoicly blocking, looking for angles."

McCarthy: "Gemma looks quicker, and that's the difference right now. She's getting off first, not letting Martine let the hands go."

O'Dell: "And there's the bell ending the first. Good round for Gemma."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Round two underway now, and Arterton right back to that jab. Snapping that left home, stopping Martine's movement with it. Looking to hook off of it."

McCarthy: "This is good tactical boxing from Gemma. There's nothing fancy about it, but it's VERY effective..."

O'Dell: "RIGHT HAND, MCCUTCHEON AND DOWN GOES ARTERTON!"

McCarthy: "Came out of nowhere! Timed one over the jab! Wow!"

O'Dell: "Referee picks up the count at three. Four. Five. Arterton ready to get to her feet. Will allow the count to get to eight, and she's up. Referee now gives her the mandatory, and he'll let it continue. And that's all the invitation Martine needs! McCutcheon all over Arterton, forcing her back to the ropes, banging away at her guard. Gemma jabbing back, but can't keep Martine off."

McCarthy: "McCutcheon trying to find the off switch. She wants to end this right now."

O'Dell: "Gemma not having it. Bobbing and weaving in a high guard. Firing back the odd counter. Martine dominating to the bell, but it rings with Gemma on her feet...and Martine shoving up off of her! Glare from Arterton. And this thing is ON."

Tess: "On, it may be, but it's Martine now ON the lead, 19-18."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "The third round now underway and McCutcheon a big right hand! Gemma slugs back with a left-right! Martine answers that! And IT. IS. ON!"

McCarthy: "Neither of these girls willing to take a step back, here. Both want to impose their will. We'll see who prevails."

O'Dell: "Right now it could go either way. The girls taking turns flurrying. Both landing solid shots. Neither backing up a step. Gemma with a NICE overhand right. Her best punch of the fight. Martine hooks the body. Gemma hammers away upstairs. Martine with a left hook."

McCarthy: "This thing could take place on Pier Six..."

Tess: "I always wondered why Piers 1-5 were so peaceful..."

O'Dell(sighing): "Et tu, Tess? McCutcheon lands a good straight left...Gemma with a combination that got Martine's attention. Arterton a follow-up right hand. Martine forced to the defensive. Gemma finding the rhythm as the bell rings. And cold stares exchanged!"

McCarthy: "Arterton got the round with her work late. Pretty even up to that point."

Tess: "Agreed, Mac. And that means the cards say 28-28 through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round begins the same way the third ended, with these two British beauties toe to toe banging away. Arterton hooks the body. McCutcheon a one-two to the head."

McCarthy: "All about will, Jenny. That's all this is. Neither one of these girls is willing to give the other an inch."

O'Dell: "And both are determined to take it. McCutcheon lands a hard right hand. Gemma lands a left hook. Back and forth brawling in the center of the ring. No movement. No defense. Trading punches."

McCarthy: "McCutcheon a good flurry! Gemma not hurt but backed up. Martine a left-right sends sweat flying!"

O'Dell: "Arterton now thrown to the defensive and Martine scoring late to take the round!"

Tess: "That's a big flurry, because this thing is close. 38-37 McCutcheon through four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Into the fifth now, and we could be showing video of the fourth..."

McCarthy: "Or the third..."

O'Dell: "Toe to toe, banging away..."

McCarthy: "And you know Arterton's corner is telling her to get back to boxing, get back to that jab, but she's not having it. Not going to let Martine impose will."

O'Dell: "And Martine's thinking the exact same thing. She's all about backing Gemma up here, but can't get it done."

McCarthy: "All about who blinks first, and nobody's blinking."

Tess: "Mac, the fans need your perspective on this one. You and Jenny have been in there in fights like this. Tell us about the psychology at work here."

McCarthy: "It's very simple. It stops being about winning a fight and starts being about whipping a**. And those are sometimes two different things."

O'Dell: "And I'm pretty confident that, despite Martine pooh-poohing it pre-fight, Gemma's spot at the top of British boxing is playing into this in a major way."

McCarthy: "Absolutely. Martine wants to knock her off that throne and Gemma doesn't want McCutcheon to be able to say she backed her down."

O'Dell: "Nobody backing down! Nasty exchange at the bell! More shoving. Referee in between sending the girls to their corner with stern warnings."

Tess: "Close one, Mac."

McCarthy: "Arterton a bit more accurate. A bit more effective. I gave it to her, but it was close. I've got it 47-47 now."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "The bell rings and, after a short respite, we're back at it. Arterton and McCutcheon hammering away at one another at close range, trading heavy leather, neither willing to give quarter."

McCarthy: "The idea here is to break your opponent's will. The danger is that she's going to land something clean and you're going to wake up just in time for the Memorial Day cookout."

O'Dell: "Arterton beginning to work more to the body, hooking ribs and lats, and McCutcheon responding, digging for points of her own."

McCarthy: "Arterton a bit more accurate right now. Martine looking for the big one. Gemma more interested in piling up the shots."

O'Dell: "Both girls landing plenty, though. Slinging leather with both hands for yet another three minutes as the bell rings to end the sixth."

Tess: "Gemma's round, Mac?"

McCarthy: "It was, and it puts her back in the lead for the first time since the first round. I have it 57-56."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "The seventh underway now and McCutcheon starts it with a barrage that forces Arterton to cover up. Gemma counters with a hook to the body and a right to the head. Martine a straight right and a left hook."

McCarthy: "McCutcheon finding the range now. Landing some heavy shot."

O'Dell: "Gemma banging back, working body. You can HEAR that leather thumping off Martine's torso."

McCarthy: "And you can see the sweat fly off Gemma's head when that big right of Martine's lands."

O'Dell: "McCutcheon backs Gemma up with a nice flurry. Arterton banging back, but Martine lands heavy again as the bell rings. More pushing and shoving. Referee in between them, chasing them to their respective corners."

Tess: "All even again, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Yep. Martine's round and that makes it 66-66."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "Eighth round now and the ladies grimly back about their business. Toe to toe, slugging and slogging, digging to the body. Gemma lands a solid right. McCutcheon responds with a left-right and Gemma blasts a hook to the side of Martine's head."

McCarthy: "Brutal. Just brutal stuff."

Tess: "Somebody's GOT to blink at some point, right Mac?"

McCarthy: "Right. The question is, will it be before or after the tenth round ends?"

O'Dell: "No one showing any signs of doing it at the moment. Both ladies giving as good as they get. Neither able to gain control. Arterton a good left hook. Follows with a right hand. McCutcheon hooks the body. Gemma snaps the head back with a left as the bell rings."

McCarthy: "Another close one, but Arterton able to score a bit more..."

Tess: "Agreed. And she's again got the edge, narrowly, 76-75."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "Eight in the books and the brutal war of attrition continues as we start the ninth. Nothing fancy. Nothing artistic. Nothing more than two proud fighters swapping leather."

Tess: "I'd say you could hold this thing in a phone booth, but we established on an earlier card that we need to update our references..."

O'Dell: "I'm open to suggestions..."

Tess: "Well, after that million dollar bet, you might be able to use 'You could hold this thing in J-Mac's trailer'..."

McCarthy: "I DON'T LIVE IN A TRAILER!"

Tess: "Well, I was just thinking you might need to downsize on the housing now that you're..."

McCarthy: "I AM NOT BROKE! SHUT IT, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Meanwhile, back in the ring, Gemma lands a solid flurry that backs up Martine. McCutcheon responds, but Gemma a right hand counter, a left hook, forces McCutcheon to cover up."

McCarthy: "Arterton has a little advantage finally, and she's trying to exploit it."

O'Dell: "Gemma putting punches together now, driving Martine backward, hooking the ribs, BANGING a right off the jaw. Bell! And the ladies exchange glares once again. But that may have been Arterton's best round of the night."

McCarthy: "It was. She was beginning to take control at the bell. She's up 86-84 my card now. Might be a point or two closer on the judges' cards, but, if I were Martine, I'd be thinking I needed something big in the tenth."

Tess: "And if I were Gemma, my plan might just be to make sure she doesn't get it."

ROUND TEN:

O'Dell: "Three scheduled minutes to go and Martine looking like she wants exactly what Mac discussed, 'something big'. Right after Gemma, banging away heavy. Arterton STILL not backing up. Returning fire..."

McCarthy: "This isn't bad strategy from Gemma. She doesn't know what the cards say. There were some close rounds. She has to fight as if she needs this round, because she might."

O'Dell: "And that's EXACTLY what she's doing, Mac! Gemma a three-punch that backs up Martine. Now the girl from Gravesend going body, thumping away, good uppercut. Gemma muscling Martine now, driving her back into the ropes."

McCarthy: "Somebody just blinked, Tess."

O'Dell: "Martine forced into a corner and Gemma going to town! Arterton all in, banging away. McCutcheon covering up, hanging on as Gemma picks her apart. Putting punches together, landing good, clean shots."

McCarthy: "Referee not going to let this go on much longer..."

O'Dell: "OH! BIG right hand, Gemma! Somehow Martine stays upright. Left to the head, right hook to the body. Arterton teeing off now! Referee looking closely as Gemma lands a nasty flurry but there's the bell! It's over and none too soon, because another 15 seconds of that and we were going to have a stoppage."

McCarthy: "Cold, cold stares going back and forth before the ladies go back to their corners. I don't have any doubt how this one's going to come back..."

O'Dell: "Scores being announced. 96-93 in favor of your winner by UD10, The Gravesend Gladiator, Gemma Arterton!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I'm with our winner, Gemma Arterton, and it looked like that got personal in there..."

Gemma: "Her doing, not mine. She's not going to shove up off me. I'm not having it. At that point, it became all about breaking her down and backing her up. Took some time, but I got it done. A few more seconds and I'd have done for her completely."

Tess: "There's lots of talk about who the best light at Front Street is..."

Gemma: "I don't concern myself with that nonsense, Tess. I just focus on proving who the better lightweight is in the ring on fight night. And, as far as Martine goes, I rest my case."