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12 June 2012 Kat Dennings vs Elizabeth Olsen

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 9 months ago

Kat Dennings 01.jpg Elizabeth Olsen 01.jpg

Posted by Ginny on June 12, 2012, 2:28 pm

Elizabeth Olsen vs. Kat Dennings - result:simguy; words:simgrrl.

"It's a good fight for Olsen; a good fight for Dennings. You have a couple of green kids who need rounds, why not let them work against one another?" At least that's what the matchmaker says.

Elizabeth is the Olsen Twin's 'little sister' but there's nothing 'little' about this Olsen. She's 5'7" and well-built; described by more than one web site as "buxom". And Liz isn't bashful, having already done her first nude scene ("Martha Marcy May Marlene") and with her name on several 'beauty contest' Internet sites (including AskMen.com's "2012's 99 Most Desirable Women").

Dennings' up to the challenge should a 'beauty contest' break out, not only joining Olsen on on AskMen's list, but also getting a mention in Maxim magazine's "Hot 100" for 2012. And she's no shrinking violet; she's not the least intimidated by Olsen's body, says her trainer.

"Kat's more than willing to go rack as you saw against Kardashian but, she doesn't work the body much at all. The kid's built like a brick outhouse and she hits like a truck. She can wear out a LOT of bantams - if she's willing to do body work instead of spending all her time upstairs."

When asked why she chose a celebrity boxing 'career', Dennings sarcastically answered, "There's nothing I'd rather do than punch some other girl's boobs flat...unless it involved cuddling cute little bunny rabbits and kittens...for big money, of course."

Tale of the Tape:
Liz: 23 y/o; 5'7"; 118#; 34C-24-33; plays volleyball and actsthehellouttascripts.
Kat: 26 y/o; 5'5"; 119#; 38D-27-34; reads poetry and wears black lipstick.

Back from commercial: Elizabeth Olsen is already in the ring, pacing nervously back and forth while her trainer (Halle Berry) walks beside her, talking strategy (?) to the distracted and clearly worried, blonde. Both women turn to look as the speakers explode with the sounds of 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' by Scissor Sisters as Kat 'The Rack' Dennings comes bouncing down the aisle to thunderous applause!

Olsen turns to Berry and lip readers can figure out she wants to know "Why didn't I have music?" Berry's answer, whatever it was, is accompanied by a shrug, then she grabs Olsen by the shoulders and gives her a shake; making eye contact to steady her young charge.

Kat Dennings is wearing a sheer black sports bra that struggles heroically to contain her bountiful bosom and tight, form-fitting black boy cut trunks and black shoes with high, black socks. Elizabeth Olsen is decked out in a cream string bikini from the 'Charlize Theron Collection' and white shoes. Both with red gloves.

Tricky fight to assess. Nobody expects to see Claire/Fishel or anything close to it...more likely a poor man's version of that level of quality. Both women far more rudimentary - at this point in their development as fighters. Olsen a tyro-boxer-to-be; Dennings a tyro (hopefully) pressure-fighter. Looking at them, Dennings obviously the stronger, more solid body; should be able to take a better shot. Olsen, younger, taller, more wippet-like in build, showing promise of developing in to a stunner in time. Whether or not that translates into "boxer" remains to be seen. A good 'sorting out' contest between two rising young talents still early in their careers.

During R1: Olsen showing surprising discipline for a rookie, snapping a serviceable jab, keeping her right cocked and ready. Denning forcing the action, coming forward relentlessly, but Liz's the quicker fighter in the early going and Kat having trouble cornering her prey. Time and again, Olsen able to slip a punch and jog away, leaving Dennings frustrated. Olsen showing the effects of the Stone-Bell-Berry training regimen, circling just enough to be effective/keep out of trouble. Other than the jab, not much from Olsen, just tapping Denning to the body once in a while but showing enough to eke out a point advantage after one.

R2: Same again! Olsen using her legs and jab to maintain distance, declining to engage when Kat backs off and gestures her in. Kat frustrated by Olsen's disciplined approach; Olsen moving nimbly to land a punch or two, then dancing back out of range, leaving Kat punching at empty air. Dennings determined, but just can't get into position often enough to land enough telling blows to slow the youngster. Olsen wins another round, again by the narrowest of margins: 10-9.

R3: Shutout Kat Dennings! Listening to her corner, Kat out of her corner with an all-out bull rush; head down, tackling Olsen; shoulder under her breasts, arms wrapped around waist, lifting and ramming her back into her own corner! Olsen rag-dolled; Kat slamming away with both fists. Ref pulls her off, finger wags her; then steps aside and Dennings right back on top of the still breathless Liz. Kat craves body and body she gets. Olsen wrapping Dennings up high, giving away her lower body. Dennings piston-punching those flat abs. Olsen snugs her clinch; head on shoulder; hanging on for all she's worth. Dennings bearhugging Olsen; slapping at the kidneys with either hand. Ref breaks 'em up; Olsen jumps right back into a lovers embrace with Dennings. Kat shrugs her off; Olsen right back at it again. Dennings not doing enough of the hard work to follow up on her advantage and Olsen rides out the storm. Final minute, Olsen gathers herself, back up on her toes jabbing. Solid round for Dennings.

R4: Olsen back to the usual. Dennings not as active and the earlier pattern repeats as Olsen avoids Dennings rush; PEK-PEK-PEKing her way around the periphery without actually involving herself with Kat any more than absolutely necessary. Olsen landing more punches; Dennings harder ones. As with most things, more is better; so Olsen pockets another one point, 10-9, edge.

R5: Shutout Olsen! Kat walking out of her corner, starting to look fatigued while Olsen looks fresh and feisty. Hard to tell which is more to "blame" Olsen's persistent body touches or Kat's somewhat doughy conditioning. Kat's not pressing the action and Olsen, like nature, abhors a vacuum; so she up-tempos herself and starts to control the fight with her legs behind that (surprisingly sound) jab. Berry beaming at the bell, her little ingenue is following her instructions to the letter.

R6: Kat's ears burning after her trainer reads her the riot act. Lots of "...if you don't watch out..." and "I told you so..." coming from Dennings corner before the bell. Ears perked, Kat's back to offense, moving straight at Liz Olsen and getting after the body. Olsen backpedaling for the first time in the fight, conceding the initiative to Kat. Close-up, Olsen can't handle Denning's beef and Kat's better (i.e., more disciplined) pursuit puts her in position more often to land lefts and rights to Olsen's body. At the bell, Dennings finishes with a flourish; shoe-shining Olsen's proud prow for the first time in her FCBA career. Liz back to her corner wincing, adjusting her top with pursed lips. Denning grinning as she takes another 10-9 round.

R7: Berry makes a few adjustments between rounds. Olsen back up on her horse, sticking and moving; not standing in one place for long. It's a winning pattern as it was earlier and Dennings frustration starts to show as, when she finally corners Liz for one of the few times, she hammers her chest with an elbow. Referee wags a finger, shakes his head 'no-no' but deducts nothing. Pattern confirmed, Olsen shimmies, shakes and dances her way thru another 10-9 round on her side of the card.

R8: Shutout Olsen! Chasing Liz is really putting a strain on Dennings cardio and Kat is really sucking wind after eight rounds of pursuing a wraith. Olsen down off her toes, landing more punches now as Kat becomes an almost stationery target. Liz Olsen's punches not particularly damaging, but the cumulative weight of leather is taking its toll on Dennings. Olsen back to her stool full of herself, nodding and grinning at her sisters sitting ringside.

R9: Shutout Kat Dennings! Pride is a hard thing to explain, but you pretty much know it when you see it. Kat not the least happy being shown up by this "youngster" and she comes out for the ninth full of priss and vinegar! Maybe Olsen's a bit overconfident? Maybe she's wearing down? Maybe its nothing more than a youngster taking a round off when she's got the fight in the bag....but whatever the reason, Dennings pursues Olsen around the ring for the full two minutes; thumping the youngest Olsen sister with several hard connects to the body. Liz protecting her head, however, and despite her best efforts, Dennings can't land the one big punch she needs.

R10: Olsen back to her old self! Liz Olsen moving and touching Dennings; gliding like Mitzi Gaynor or Ginger Rogers in their prime. 26 y/o Kat Dennings looking out of shape after nine hard rounds of chasing the younger woman; not putting up much offense; just protecting her face and letting Elizabeth Olsen breeze to a lopsided UD10.

After: "It was a lot harder than I expected it to be," Olsen admits, "and everything seemed to be moving in high speed the first few rounds. I thought I'd trained hard, but sparring is nothing like the real thing. I realize I have a lot of work to do before I'm ready for the top fighters, but Dennings is more experienced and yet I really never felt like I was in over my head. I was in better condition than her; thanks to Halle's strict training regimen...at least it sure felt like it in the late rounds. This is going to be a lot of fun...once I get the hang of it all."

Dennings, clearly disappointed: "She never really hurt me and she can't take it to the body. I don't want to criticize the judges, but I thought I was ahead on the scorecards. The decision surprised me!"