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16 June 2012 Downtown Julie Brown vs Kim Cattrall

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 9 months ago

Downtown Julie Brown.jpg Kim Cattrall.jpg

 

 

 

Posted by Jac Fac on June 16, 2012, 5:20 pm

 


Written by Jac Fac.

Retro Bout. Ca. 2004

'Sex and the City' had been wrapped up for awhile and the four stars of the HBO hit series were celebrating the end of a long run over a late lunch. Kim Cattrall had imbibed a few white wines and was quite loose and Sarah Jessica Parker wasn't far behind. Nixon and Davis had carefully maintained their sobriety. Then, in walked 'Downtown' Julie Brown with her spirited strut. She offered her hand in congrats to the foursome in tribute to their successes but her good wishes were greeted with grunts and an almost 'get lost' attitude from all four.

Julie took instant offense, "You're a bunch of twits you know that!" Julie vented, "Big damned deal! You play four 'ho-bags'."

"Aw buzz off you idiot talking head," was Sarah Jessica's rejoinder.

"Maybe I'll just kick your bony ass there, Sarah gal. Be tough on old Matthew watching his old lady flat on her ass after I get through with her," Julie boasted.

Just then, Kim jumped in, "I'm the bloke you want there, sweets. I'll tune your sorry ass up next week!"

"Good let's do it, b###h!" hissed Julie.

The scene was set for Madison Square Garden and Julie arrived in the ring first wearing her stunning purple bikini and high heels. Kim then came out in blue bikini panties and heels. Julie gave away size but she'd trained hard to keep herself in good physical shape and, among other things, she was a tough rock-climber. Although relations between them were strained, the cast and crew from 'Sex' showed up in Kim's corner to lend her their support.

ROUND ONE
Julie's footwork is solid. She shifts away from the long reach of Kim and hammers her inside with vicious body shots. Kim whips a long right and catches Julie squarely on the jaw. Julie staggers but only for a moment. She remains on her feet and has taken Kim's best shot. Kim is spooked by this. Julie counters time after time with crisp body shots and is wearing Kim down. The crowd is loving this. Round one is Julie's.

ROUND TWO
Julie senses she's got the older gal's number as she's feinting overhand rights and Kim is going for them every time. Julie fakes Kim out of her panties and hammers her solidly on the jaw. Kim staggers backwards. Sensing a knockout the crowd is cheering Julie on. 'Downtown' wants this to play out some more though. She beats up Kim with combination head and body shots. Kim's eyes are black and blue. Round two is easily Julie's.

ROUND THREE
Kim is desperate now, throwing more and more wild rights which continue to miss. Julie neatly sidesteps these shots and counters with brutally hard body blows. Kim's arms are dropping. Suddenly Julie slams Kim with a left/right combo to the jaw and Cattrall FALLS into the ropes. She groggily regains her feet but is pleading with Julie to stop.

"You win Downtown, you got me big time," implores Kim.

"Oh no. Not till I say I do, you clumsy doofus bimbo," laughs Julie who's having total fun kicking Kim's ass.

Julie lands hard again just as the bell sounds and heads back to her corner knowing she's won another round.

ROUND FOUR Kim returns to center ring defiant and inflamed from the humiliation of round three but NOW Julie is ready to do her in! Kim swings a big right which Julie ducks under and delivers a major shot to Kim's solar plexus that doubles her up in agony. Julie then rams her with a huge right upper cuts and Kim staggers back on her long legs and then crumples and falls on her butt, then rolls onto her back...knocked stiff! Downtown Julie celebrates by straddling her fallen foe and doing a little shimmy as she chants, "Big bad Julie Brown, baddest gal in the whole damned town."

The crowd joins in the singing tribute as Kim's senseless body is dragged away by her glum co-stars, especially Sarah Jessica Parker who refuses to make eye contact with Julie when she taunts her and says, "Hey, I got time for you now blondie!".

SIDELIGHT: Charlize Theron was at ringside and followed it blow by brutal blow. It seems Kim Cattrall befriended Charlize when she arrived in Hollywood as a naïve young ingénue. Now, Charlize didn't appreciate seeing her blonde sister battered brutally. She'd like to get some revenge, so perhaps there’ll be a match in the near future between Charlize and Julie?

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