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29 June 2012 Gwyneth Paltrow vs Katie Holmes

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 8 months ago

 

 Katie Holmes 07.jpg

 

COUGAR BEACH 5 RD BOUT

 

Posted by simguy on June 29, 2012, 5:10 pm

 

 

BEFORE: Paltrow catching a little heat for cherrypicking opponents...Katie a good boxing brunette, but hardly a sand-specialist and hasn't seen action in a good long while...Gwyneth defends the matchmaking: "Look - she's A-list, leggy - not as leggy as me obviously, but she's in that space...I have to have her. I'm serious about developing the limitless potential of my fighting-body...I'll take rounds wherever I can get 'em!"

Holmes coming off personal set-backs, looking to take refuge in the boxing ring again. "I need to hit someone," Katie admits in prefight, "and Gwyneth definitely needs to BE hit! Have you heard her recently? Comparing her fight to Jessi Biel's, or Theron's? I honestly think the woman has lost her mind, but whatever: I'm in the mood to dish hurt, and Gwynny's on deck."

Paltrow in bright royal blue bikini; shoulder length blonde hair loose, straight, tucked behind ears; yellow gloves. Katie in bright yellow bikini; strict, long brown ponytail; white gloves.

VENUE: Malibu's "cougar beach" - ring posts set up directly on sand; high noon.

During R1: Girls stalk cautiously close, pushing left jabs to ribs and tits - faces set in bytchy little fighting pouts. Gwynny begins mixing in slap-chop right hands to Katie's breasts: Holmes looking to kiss her right cross off Gwynny's chin. Not much class: flat-footed, dutiful, two-way pasting. Midway through, Gwynny drives a right hand to chin, turning Katie's head to the right/buckling her knees. Holmes staggers away with vexed expression: Gwyneth walks her down to bell.

R2: Girls circling gently clockwise, glaring at each other; flinching. Minute mark, Gwyn steps in off her jab, drops the right hand onto Katie's chin as Holmes readies a whirling right...KATIE CORKSCREWS INTO SAND! Holmes sitting in despair as Gwyneth cackles down...ref bodies blonde girl away as brunette picks herself up/bats sand off thighs and backside. Resume: pitty-pat tummy and tit punches drive Katie to ropes...she covers up earmuff, giving away her body on the cheap as Gwyneth squares away. Shades of Zeta Jones - Katie hurt, stationary, covering up to receive work...Paltrow unopposed as she grins, lowers head, belts away to body. Holmes stoic - strong legs holding her up as her butt drifts into ropes, ribs and tummy soaking up spank. Bell: Paltrow drinking in the sight of cringing Katie...blonde actual does the "title-belt" gesture at her waist as ref moves in.

R3: Paltrow frisky upon her brunette...Katie listless, scowling, slapping go-away jabs in retreating circles. Gwyneth walking Katie down - nudging left jabs into Katie's breasts; smiting Katie a fairly hefty sidearm right in the back whenever Holmes turns to her own right; throwing lusty right roundhouses to head, usually blocked by Katie. Nothing back from Holmes: she's sullen - in good shape, but not in boxing shape (certainly not for sand) through 3.

R4: Bit of a one-sided punching-party for Paltrow...she'll pursue Katie to corners and get off as Holmes covers up/crouches. Mostly wide, swinging right hands from Gwyneth as she reaches the left in to stabilize her brunette...it's belting beach amateur-hour, but crowd-pleasing spank and Katie just standing in place to receive punches has it's charms.

R5: Katie more combative - collecting dukes at chest, setting her face in a determined little frown ...she's jabbing Gwyneth's face, knocking blonde head back with some authority. Paltrow getting pre-empted and out-poked...she tries to step in and demolish, but Katie's picking her apart with left hands; sidestepping the Paltrow right flank, and; fitting Gwyn for the odd straight right hand on the mouth. Good straight pin-point stiff-punching boxing the kind of thing we're used to seeing from Holmes at her best...she wins the 5th, bloodying Gwyneth's nose en route to a wide UD5 Paltrow.

After: Gwyneth grinning when her hand is raised...touched up Katie deeply unimpressed despite fairly wide scoring for Paltrow. "Another victim punched into helpless stupor!" Paltrow gloats during in-ring postfight...Katie rolling eyes in the background. "I thought she was in top form, but it wasn't enough - I'm just too nasty to the body, and my right hands to chin were SCORCHING! It's a real wake-up call for Frontstreet I feel...I'm the equal of Anna Torv right now, and I'm only getting better. If I mow down that whole collection of bimbots, the sky's the limit for Gwyneth Paltrow. Looking at Cobie Smulders in particular...she might have solved Bibb, but I'm a whole different deal than Leslie!"

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