Posted by Simguy on 2/2/2007, 6:07 am.

Before: tried and true strategy for A-listers: 5’6”, 118lb Eva looking for poachable lightweights--someone she can handle without packing on any weight; Cam looking for formidable bantam names she can fight without drawing criticism. Added bonus for fans--bout pits two of the highest, hardest rear ends in boxing against one another--nice change of pace from the juggocentric norm. Cam in lime green string bikini, small black “Cat paw” brand gloves. Eva in lavender sport-bikini with thin whit belt--small white “Cat Paw” brand gloves.

During R1,2: Stylish, wide ranging action as Cameron circles, looks to judge distance to the millimeter while Eva stalks, looking to do harm, Cameron light on her toes--but not skittish--very good balance, supple action on her punching as she shifts weight between balls of either foot--and her jab is routinely tapping at Mendes’ face. Eva a firm-stepper--planting and throwing: she’ll often slide in a lead right hand to set up that vicious, licking hook off the front (left) leg--a curling punch that finishes up past her right ear if she misses. Eva takes the first as Cam’s a bit too cautious; Diaz takes the second by taking just a bit more risk, touching Mendes and loping out of range before Eva’s clouting receipts.

R3: Eva walking Cameron down-=-odd to see the bantam weight take the aggressor’s role, but that’s the temperament of these respective fighters. Mendes stepping in a hard jab to Cam’s chest, still featuring the sliding lead right--Eva lashing her hooks body and head to keep Diaz backpedaling. Cam’s legs keeping her off the ropes and away from the worst of it--but she’s running more than boxing this round.

R4: Midway through: right hand, curling left hook Eva Mendes--DOWN GOES DIAZ! Sudden knockdown shocking after a minute of cat-and-mouse--Diaz getting her chin toggled can’t stand against Mendes’ shock. Cam alert for her 8. Immediately bouncing to her right as Eva laps long, wide hooks in search of more blonde chin--Diaz wiry legs shredding into muscular relief as she takes to her bicycle. Eva’s eyes hard, lips set in tight line: she’s hunting Cameron now--brunette looking more and more like the boss through 4.

R5: Cameron’s peerless legs keeping her safe, jab helping to pester and confound her foe--but that’s not enough to get her points. Mendes walking Diaz down, trying to emphasize a lathering hook to Diaz’s waist in hopes of wearing down Cam’s longlegs. Crowd restless--cheering when Eva steps into one of her lithe haymakers--Diaz electing to stink out the joint, use her superior mobility to draw Eva forward, then dart in to take advantage of any Mendes recklessness. More points for Eva: so far, her pursuit is relatively disciplined, despite her frustration at Cameron’s evasi ve maneuvers.

R6: Right hand, left hook--DOWN GOES DIAZ! Eva not as fleet-of-foot as Cam, but Mendes deceptively quick--when she gets the first step on Cam, she can catch the blonde in Diaz’s habitual low-guard stance. Eva hopping away with a bright smile: Cameron all wincing and cranky, pulling herself together for a creaky 8 at the ropes. Diaz mouthbreathing, shook up--she shows peek-a-boo, slouching into ropes, setting herself as Eva wades in. Mendes samples the goods--Eva just working methodically, exhaling through pursed lips as she straps hooks to Cam’s rightside ribs. Mendes lathering--nice oily action on smooth rights and lefts as she licks and wallops away. Diaz sullen, stooped forward behind her gloves, just rolling punches, crouching down/leaning back into ropes, doing what she can do to minimize hurt. Eva BEAMING en route to her corner, arms still tingling from the shellack she’s just dished.

R7: Cameron back up on her toes, hands loose and low--she’s always trusting her legs to be her defence. Mendes a little too exuberant this round--lunging at Cam, trying to press--Diaz able to fade back, lure Mendes, disorganize her, then strike at her with sharp straight rights and rising, swiping hooks. Eva willing to pay the price, but doesn’t get much value for dollar--Diaz boxing beautifully, keeps her jab on Eva, circles the ring, dressing Mendes up for points.

R8: Mendes taunting Cameron to stand and fight--Eva grinning, charging in headlong as Diaz lopes to the side, slides, fades and evades. Oh that pesky Diaz jab--little backhand flicks tapping against Eva’s face--Mendes impatiently eating the punch rather than parrying it, but it means that Cameron’s dialed in. minute mark--Eva pressing forward--Cameron slides back while pinging jabs, then leans into re-empt Eva with a startling lead right hand between the eyes. Mendes shook--stagger stepping forward to a halt: Diaz shifts weight to right foot while pulling the hook up and across, swiping the mouthpiece off Eva’s teeth. Jab taps Eva’s mouth as Cam’s pivoting-right: right hand slices in over Eva’s left mitt, clouting jaw. Left hook slashing up and across--Cam getting it from outside Eva’s left shoulder--Mendes not reading the punch, takes it flush, head flinging back as knees spasm. Cam lashing in with another whippy right hand, connecting flawlessly to face--drowsy head swivel Mendes, Eva’s hands dropping, eyes staring. Little tap jab on the mouth as Cam’s inching right again, then DROPPING that right hand in over Eva’s left shoulder. MENDES GOES DOWN! Eva M on all fours, trembling and shook--groggily gloving at her mouthpiece and SHE CAN’T BEAT THE COUNT! Mendes awake, but totally incoherent--she’s still trying to put her mouthpiece in when the ref waves it off. KO8 Cameron Diaz.

After: Mendes hoping to follow up her A-list pulverizing of Jessica Alba with a similar heavy hand falls prey to one of the slickest, most mobile beauties in boxing. “Cameron’s a killer when she’s got the height advantage,” notes one Celebrity Ring columnist. “If she can keep her distance, she can pick up apart, and she has shown power in combination before--Eva underestimated all that tonight.”

Reposted by Archer 7/15/12.